Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Hello all, this is me


Linde

Recommended Posts

Hello all!

I just found this site after looking around on reddit.  I feel one cannot get to much information if one belongs to a group of people wo does not exactly fit into the norm set by society.  and I am a double whammy of not fitting it.  I am intersex and transgender.  Research indicates that my case is common in a bout 1/40000, which means, about 100 or so years ago I would have been the sensation of a traveling carnival exhibit! (and sometimes I feel like this)

I have an advanced degree in biomedical sciences, and made my living in research on infection control & prevention.  Somebody decided at my birth that I was to be a male, and I tried to grow up as one, but failed most of the time to reach the goal.  After my male peers reached puberty, it was pretty clear that I was different, because I never developed any of the secondary male sex characteristics and continued to remain rather feminin in my appearance.  I did pretty OK as a man because my more or less female body was hidden under the clothing, and people are not good observers, they see what they want to see.  Nobody ever realized that I do not have an Adams Apple, and have a rather female ja line, a female typical hairline, and a higher frequency pitch voice, until I pointed these features out when I came out as a trans woman.

I actually don't consider myself as a "typical" trans woman, but rather as an individual who reclaimed her gender  that was taken shortly after birth.  a genome analysis indicates that I seem to be about 2/3 female and 1/3 male, and that I had a female type menopause about 16 years ago.  And that was the time at which I slowly started to drift into my transition. I am now living as a woman for quite a while, and am sad that I missed out on many years of living as one.
i have the rather unusual ability to switch into a male presentation, whenever this is of advantage to me (going to an auto repair shop, etc.), and I have no dysphoria about it at all!  My psychologist feels that this great, because it shows that I am so solidly anchored into my femininity  that this male presentation is more like a dressing up for Halloween or for cosplay.

 

Anyway, this is me in a nutshell, and like most intersex persons, I look about 20 or so years younger than my biological age is.

Link to comment
  • Admin

Hi Linde, welcome to the forums, I confess that I have never found a "Typical" Trans woman in my years on either side of the coin, but your story is ONE of the variations we have in things here, so you do fit this group very well.  Xy Mosaic is a real issue, and we have some stuff in the forums here, that if not helpful should at least be reassuring. What goes into our career choices  is interesting and often comes from special questions we  have about ourselves.  

Link to comment
16 minutes ago, DeeDee said:

Wow! What a brilliant and interesting introduction. Hello!

Thank you for reading it and complementing me!

Link to comment
9 minutes ago, VickySGV said:

Hi Linde, welcome to the forums, I confess that I have never found a "Typical" Trans woman in my years on either side of the coin, but your story is ONE of the variations we have in things here, so you do fit this group very well.  Xy Mosaic is a real issue, and we have some stuff in the forums here, that if not helpful should at least be reassuring. What goes into our career choices  is interesting and often comes from special questions we  have about ourselves.  

I think I choose the profession because I have a very strong drive to help human beings to have a better life. In addition, my job was absolutely gender neutral (we all were wearing the identical white lab coats), and the pressure to transition was not very strong at that time.

It is very hard to do a good self analysis about those things, because the wants are very often overshadow the reality.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hello Linde, it's a pleasure to meet you.  I'm glad you found us here.  I agree with Dee in that you have written a wonderful intro which was very interesting to read.  Some of the biggest decisions in life are made for us early in life.  At least today, one can sometimes benefit from medical advancements to correct these decisions if they're wrong.  You seem to have  done just that.

 

1 hour ago, Linde said:

I am now living as a woman for quite a while, and am sad that I missed out on many years of living as one.

This is a common theme among many of us here including myself.  If it wasn't for my wife and family, I'd probably redo the last 22 years of my life given the opportunity.

 

18 minutes ago, VickySGV said:

I confess that I have never found a "Typical" Trans woman in my years on either side of the coin, but your story is ONE of the variations

I second that.  Nearly every Introduction story on this forum contains some unique element. The variations are plentiful.

 

I want to add...I have met two other intersex TG individuals on our Discord chat.  You might give it a go if you have any interest in live chat with others like us.  Thanks for sharing.  I hope to read more about your journey in the future.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Linde,

Welcome to TransPulse. I'm glad you've found us!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Timber Wolf said:

Hi Linde,

Welcome to TransPulse. I'm glad you've found us!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Thank Timber Wolf, I like it here.  Your name reminds me on my former residence in North Western Wisconsin.  I had some of those beasts living on my land there!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Linde!  Don't be saddened by missed years as they do form the person we have become.  

 

See you around! 
Jani

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 137 Guests (See full list)

    • JustJack
    • Ashley0616
    • KathyLauren
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • MaybeRob
    • MaeBe
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,024
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Dillon
      Dillon
    2. Kaylee888
      Kaylee888
    3. lily100
      lily100
      (39 years old)
    4. Luce
      Luce
      (44 years old)
    5. Luke.S
      Luke.S
  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      Thank you for continuing to share your story, Sally!   Willa sounded like a grand friend, I'm sorry for your loss. :(
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Not all conservatives are for Trump.  I am far from thrilled he is running.  Just wanted to make that clear.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Anybody willing to present the case for Trump? Any conservatives out there?
    • MaeBe
      Two words(?): Project 2025   Please provide links to the "political calculus" referred to, I'd be interested to know where this is coming from. It seems odd that anyone would be advocating to vote in a President that has stated that he will try to use the federal government to go after LGBTQ+ people because voting back Biden, that is not doing that, might cause some state legislatures to put forth more discriminatory laws.   LGBTQ+ people are not safe in a MAGA future.
    • Ashley0616
      It's awesome that you have had such a great friend in your life! I could only imagine what losing felt like to you. It's neat that you worked for the airlines. Did you take advantage of the space availability fights? My dad worked for Northwest and always flew every single summer except one where we drove from north Mississippi to Phoenix, AZ. My parents agreed to never do that again lol. 
    • Ashley0616
      The trans community won't be good under Trump at all. Biden is the one who has done more for the trans community than any other presidents. Last time Trump was in office he was at an LGBTQ rally and his support went quickly away from us because the majority of the voters are anti trans. He is going to get rid of our rights and also come after the rest of LGBTQ.  I don't know where you heard we would be better under Trump.    Trump unveils sweeping attack on trans rights ahead of 2024 (axios.com)   Trump Promises to Go After Trans People if Re-Elected (vice.com)   Trump promises to ban transgender women from sports if re-elected (nbcnews.com)
    • Sally Stone
      Post 7 “The Pittsburgh Years” When I retired from the Army, we moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania because I had been hired by US Airways to work in their flight training department.  The transition to civilian life was a bit of an adjustment, but I never really looked back.  At the same time, I was excited at the prospect of having more Sally time. But with work and two teenage boys in the house, getting to be Sally was a challenge.    The biggest issue in this regard were my sons, as they didn’t know about my feminine side.  My wife and I discussed, in great detail, whether or not to tell them.  If they had known about Sally, it would have been much easier to actually be Sally when I wanted to.  But I still didn’t know exactly where my transgender journey was going to take me, and this uncertainty was the primary reason my wife and I decided it wasn’t the right time to tell them about Sally.  Except for the convenience it would afford me, we didn’t think it was fair to burdened them with such a sensitive family secret if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.  If at some point things changed and it looked like I might be heading towards transition, my wife and I agreed we would revisit our decision.   Despite having to tiptoe around the boys I was able, with my wife often running interference for me, to significantly increase my girl time.  The nature of my variable work schedule meant that often days off occurred during the week when the boys were in school, and on those days, I took full advantage of the time.  Additionally, I had discovered a new trans friend through a local support group, and my wife, ever and always accommodating, ensured I had time for outings with my new friend.    Willa, my new friend, quickly became my best friend, and after only a short time, she and my wife became quite close as well.  With Willa’s help, I would soon discover that Pittsburgh was a very trans friendly city.  Together, she and I made the town our own.  We attended the theater, the symphony, we went out to dinner regularly, and I think we visited every museum in the city.  With Willa’s support and friendship, I was actually becoming quite the girl about town.    Willa and I had a lot in common.  We loved to shop, we had similar feminine styles, and we had similar views and feelings about being trans.  In fact, our frequent and deep discussions about transgender issues helped me begin to understand my transgender nature.  Having Willa as a springboard for all topics transgender, was probably as effective as regularly visiting a therapist.  I would never discount anyone’s desire to seek professional help, but having an unbiased confidant, can also be an effective method for self-discovery.    Exploring the city as Sally and spending time with Willa was instrumental in helping me understand my transgender nature, and would begin shaping my transgender objective.  My feelings about the kind of girl I was and where I wanted to go began to solidify.  Being out and socializing as Sally in a big city like Pittsburgh, taught me I could express my femininity without issue.  I honestly felt confident I could live my life as a woman; however, remaining completely objective, I just couldn’t see giving up the life I’d built as a man.   At that time, I was being heavily influenced by the concept of the gender binary, which had me thinking I had to choose between being a man or being a woman.  It was Willa who reminded me there were no rules requiring gender identity to be binary.  During one of our deep discussions, she posited the idea of enjoying both genders, something she was doing, and a concept that made a lot of sense to me.  I was already living the life of a part-time woman, so I simply started paying more attention to how that was making me feel.    One characteristic that was dominating my feminine self-expression (and it continues to this day) was that when I was Sally, I was “all in.”  When I became Sally, it was such a complete transformation that I truly felt like a woman.  The feeling was powerful, and if I had to describe it another way, I’d say it was akin to an actor, so into the part, they actually become the character they are portraying.  That was me, and I discovered that this level of depth was extremely fulfilling, and that feeling tended to last long after transitioning back to my male persona.  Part-time womanhood it seemed, was actually working for me.    Eventually, a job change forced me to move away from Pittsburgh, but the enlightenment I experienced while living there has shaped the nature of my bi-gender personality to this day.  Even after leaving, Willa and I remained the best of friends.  We had many more adventures, some of which I will detail in later posts.  Sadly, Willa passed away two-years ago after contracting a prolonged illness.  Her loss was hard to take and I miss her dearly.  However, I have so many fond memories of our times together, and because her support helped shape me, she lives on in my heart.   Hugs,   Sally
    • missyjo
      thank you dear. I'm constantly working at adjusting n writing off other people's judgment or input.   thank you n good luck
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Them's fighting words, but I intend to discuss this respectfully, calmly and so forth, in accordance with the forum rules.   Considering the one issue below in isolation:   There is a political calculus that trans folk may be better off under Trump than under Biden.  The argument goes that Biden has created such a backlash by moving so far to the left that red states, in particular, are reacting with a swarm of laws that negatively impact trans folk.  Some of his actions strike many people as clumsily forcing unwanted regulation on people, and some of his appointments, such as the luggage stealing bigender individual, have not helped advance trans folk but rather the reverse.  In a second term Biden would make things worse for trans folk because of the backlash and resentment his policies would create.    Trump likely would have negative impacts to trans folk, as he did in his first term with respect to the military, so it is a set of tradeoffs as to which is worse.   Thoughts?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Can you dress androgynously? 
    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
      There are trans folk who pass better than some cis people.  People usually aren't on the lookout for those who are cross dressed.  As long as there are no multiple screaming signals and you don't draw attention to yourself you can probably pass better than you think. For example, if you walk into a bank in heels, however, and you DON'T know how to walk in heels, you will attract the attention of a security guard, especially if you are acting nervous. If you wear flats and just go to the bank and do your business like anyone else, it is likely no one will notice, except that there was a customer who was taller than most women are, but then there are tall women, and tall, broad shouldered woman.  I made the mistake years ago of thinking I had outed such, and knew she was a he.  Later I learned she had five kids, and her husband was bigger than she was.  Ooops.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I don't know much about CNAs.  They report to an RN, right?  Can you somehow bring this up to the RN in a way that does not get your CNA mad at you? I'm not saying you should, but maybe that is a good course of action.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This is the thing.  A month ago tomorrow is when I stopped wearing m clothing.  Today I feel great.  I do not have dysphoria when I am dressed as and I move as a woman.  I was just thinking about that because I was wondering if I would or will get hit with a wave of "you don't have dysphoria so you might as well dress like a guy. Less hassle with your wife."  Not that she is aware, to my knowledge, that these androgynous clothes are women's.  No desire to "flip", no feeling of need to, just happy identifying as female.  Speaking, in my deep guy voice, with female voice patterns, doing the feminine gestures that come naturally and without exaggeration and at peace.
    • Birdie
      Yes, my brother was born lactating due to absorbing hormones from my mum.    Of course she isn't a nurse, she is a CNA. She should however still have general medical knowledge.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...