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Carolyn Marie

The Womanhood Express

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Carolyn Marie

At the beginning of my journey I felt the urge to express my feelings about my overwhelming emotions..  I tried out poetry, and wrote a few poems.  I tried to find them in the Poetry Forum archives, and I'm sure they are there somewhere, but I couldn't find them.  Luckily I saved them as Word docs.  Here is my favorite.



By Carolyn Marie

We're waiting at the station,
In hope but also stress,
We all stand in patient queue,
To board the Womanhood Express.

It's said this train is magical,
A journey long and fair,
To a place we all can be ourselves,
And live as women there.

Our tickets paid in price so high,
The cost beyond belief,
Lost friends, lost loves, lost families,
Bought our fares as well our grief.

Our suffering we packed away,
In bags filled with regret,
Until they bulged at every seam,
And begged us ne'er forget.

But time is short, the train awaits,
The conductor makes last call
To board the train called Womanhood,
It will take us, one and all.

As we pull out from the station,
The engineer gives a whistle toot,
And all the teens in the dining car,
Call out as one, "Woot, Woot!"

We have a crew of therapists
On this train to help us find,
The path to gender harmony,
Between our bodies and our minds.

There are doctors in the medical car,
We could not do without,
They prescribe the medicine,
That lets the "girls" in us come out.

Surgeons are here too, we're told,
With skills so long refined,
To take away the male parts,
And create the female kind.

Next in line is the dining car,
Where salads are the fave',
But for dessert we save some room,
For the cookies that Dev made.

In the Femme Car we all practice,
Ways to look and sound so fine,
Voice and walk and mannerisms,
Feminine and refined.

Hair is the objective,
In the next car on the track,
Not only how to take it off,
But how to grow it back.

A modern torture chamber
Is the horror that awaits.
Laser beams and 'lectric probes,
Take those whiskers off our face.

Epilators and razor blades,
Turn our smiles into frowns,
They make us wince and make us cry,
But leave skin like eider down.

Fashion rules the next car,
And we girls line up in glee,
Perchance to wear a pretty thing,
To make us feel carefree.

We match our clothes to body types,
Tall and heavy, short and thin,
But we have only one goal in mind;
Wear something to blend in.

The last car on this train of hope is
Dimly lit and draped in gloom.
It's here we come to pay respect,
To those who've met their doom.

Some took their lives when hope was lost,
Some fell prey to hate and fear,
We cherish lives of one and all,
And hold their memories dear.

The train begins to slow at last,
The station comes in view,
This land we will live out our lives,
Is draped in morning dew.

Our noses press to windows,
As we gaze on promised soil,
This wonderland of female dreams,
For which we long have toiled.

We gather on the platform,
Wearing jeans and skirts and dress,
Blow a kiss to engineer and crew,
Of the Womanhood Express.

Arm in arm and hand in hand,
We march onward strong and proud,
Our journey now is over,
And we melt into the crowd.


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I LOVE this. So beautifully written! You have such a great way with words.

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Carolyn Marie

Ah, you found it!  Thank you very much, Aiden.  I wrote this at the beginning of my journey, and had to repost it this year after it was lost in the site re-boot.  It's my favorite.


Carolyn Marie

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This is beautiful! It really invokes imagery of this journey. ❤️

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    • Mmindy
      Erikka,   It's amazing to me how much in common we all have here. I did a similar thing to my across the street neighbors, by firing up my Harley inside the garage acting like an amphitheater to their bedrooms. I don't mind a Friday or Saturday party in the hood, but weeknights need to have a respectable quiet hour.   Have a great day,   Mindy🐛🌈🦋
    • Erikka
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    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   Yesterdays therapy session was very good, and filled with tips on how to bring my wife up to speed on my push to open the closet door. She and I sat at the dinner table last evening talking about my pinned up emotions, the tough man who consoles everyone else with positive motivation, hides and doesn't take my own advice. She said that the world she knows, sees me as this happy go luck guy ready to cheer anyone up with a smile and quick witted quote. Never suspecting I was really spending my alone time sad, afraid, and hidden. I told her I was about to show her the depth of my true emotions, and as side of me that I hope will not run her off. I kept reinforcing that my long term goal is for us to continue to grow old together. That made her laugh because we're both in our mid 60's and make noises when we stand up from the arm chairs. I'm still a few weeks from coming out to her... It won't be long and then we'll see if it's a smooth slow ride into transition or an explosive I'm out of here reaction.   >Hugs< and love for everyone,   Mindy🐛🌈🦋
    • KayC
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    • Kaltia_Atlas
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      Thats where the UTx would be required. If the organ that produces hormones is available, the active gene uses it to prodice its intended hormone. Wether it be testes or ovaries, the gene is what decides which hormone to produce. 
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    • Erikka
      I didn’t start wearing bras until I actually had something to put in a bra. Since then I morphed from feeling sad to take it off to go to bed to ditching it when I get home. At first I wouldn’t leave the apartment without a bra but even that has changed now quite often I will walk to mailbox , take out the garbage or pop over to the neighbors sans bra and not get embarrassed that my nipples are quite noticeable under my T-shirt or tank top. But then again I live in the Emerald Triangle, a land that is a bit stuck in the ‘70’s, a place of hippies and Humboldt Honeys.  
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      Thank you for sharing, Carolyn Marie❣️  
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      Sending prayers 🙏🙏🙏
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      Hi Janae  Well, you nailed this one on the head.  By time we finished dinner I could tell it was no longer a positive experience for both of us.  I think she let all the possibilities of what could happen next to roll around in her head and she closed down.  I think we both went to bed a bit depressed last night. This was the response I was worried about.  It was almost like I was Coming Out a second time.  Almost like she had come to think my gender dysphoria was a passing fantasy, and now she had to face it again (although it had never gone away). As much as I prefer the "open communication" approach my wife does not really handle it very well .. that's our history. This morning she told me she didn't want to talk about it and needed some time ... so its a little bit (actually a lot) tense right now, but I think/hope she will open up again.  She did reaffirm that she supported me going to therapy .. but she pulled back on ever participating.    Not knowing how your wife handles these topics I cannot give you advice on how to proceed based on how this went over with my wife. I almost regret telling her now about wanting therapy, but it was going to have to be addressed sometime, just for my own mental health.  But her delayed reaction and pain is hard for me to watch.  For now, I am just going do what I can to reassure her and to wait and see what happens after I start therapy.  thank you for the support and encouragement❣️
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      Correction: Just heard from Angela, She's listed as pre-op call as of 6:35 am her time. My bad.
    • Dana Michelle
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