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I Am Beautiful


Tessa

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I Am Beautiful 

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Behold I am beautiful 

As I get older

I become even more wonderful 

 

My heart reflects who I am inside

Beauty Is found inside my soul 

That is where true beauty can’t hide

This is where I feel whole

 

To find beauty you must dive deep 

You must love who you are 

You are the treasure you must keep

You are a shining star 

 

You are beautiful inside 

Let love shine through 

You have nothing to hide

No one can be you but you 

 

by, 

 

Tessa

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tears

 

Tears of joy or pain

Tears are falling 

I’m crying again 

Hear me balling 

 

I’m told not to cry

You must be strong 

But than I wonder why

Is what I’m feeling so wrong 

 

I want be loved 

not ignored and pushed away

I want to be hugged 

Told I matter in some way

 

Tears that heal

Are ones from the heart

They tell you to feel

They give you a bran new start 

 

by, 

 

Tessa 

 

It’s early in the morning and I can’t sleep. My mind is flowing so I thought I would write this. I hope it inspires and lifts up the reader. 

 

23296BD3-806E-42BB-B610-E420C4B852A9.thumb.jpeg.30285dae17aecaf557959f4672f43ebc.jpeg

 

I took this pic. It symbolizes hope! The clouds look like people and their letting the light shine out from them. That’s what true love does!  

 

Love always, 

 

Tessa 

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Fallen Rose 

 

I gave my lover a Rose

But they threw it on the ground

Now nobody knows

Whose Rose they’ve found 

 

I picked it special from my garden 

But they took it as an insult

Now I watch it harden

Is it all my fault 

 

I gave them my very best Rose

One I watered everyday 

What do you suppose 

Could have made them throw it away

 

Now that rose lays on the ground

Crushed and bruised under people’s feet

Can that Rose ever again be found 

Will that Rose ever be complete 

 

By, 

 

Tessa

 

 

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Holes

 

Holes in my jeans

Like holes in my heart 

My heart leans 

For a bran new start

 

A new beginning if you will

With new faces 

A place where I can be real 

And really go places 

 

Where friends are born 

Instead of paying a price 

Where my heart won’t be torn 

Oh, wouldn’t that be nice

 

Where what I do matters 

And is displayed for all to see

Instead of everything 

Being shattered inside of me 

 

Dedicated to all that want to make a difference in this life by changing others. 

 

By 

 

Tessa 

 

I love to write poetry from the heart for that’s where true words flow. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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13 hours ago, Tessa said:

Fallen Rose 

 

I gave my lover a Rose

But they threw it on the ground

Now nobody knows

Whose Rose they’ve found 

 

I picked it special from my garden 

But they took it as an insult

Now I watch it harden

Is it all my fault 

 

I gave them my very best Rose

One I watered everyday 

What do you suppose 

Could have made them throw it away

 

Now that rose lays on the ground

Crushed and bruised under people’s feet

Can that Rose ever again be found 

Will that Rose ever be complete 

 

By, 

 

Tessa

 

 

 

Tessa, the rose, of course being metaphor for the heart or ‘self’, is a precious gift to give anyone. And all to often it is our plight to have such a gift rejected:

 

"Loss"
 
when they
choose to walk away
the questions remain
 
for loss is dismay
in the face of dubiety
and pain
 
-Jennifer T, February 2013 

 

 

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  • Forum Moderator

Wonderful poems @Tessa.  You're a very talented woman.  Please continue to share as you're led.  I really enjoy reading your work.

 

Susan R?

 

 

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58 minutes ago, Susan R said:

Wonderful poems @Tessa.  You're a very talented woman.  Please continue to share as you're led.  I really enjoy reading your work.

 

Susan R?

 

 

 

I don’t get very many compliments so thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoy them.  I wear my heart out on my sleeve. Maybe that’s why I seem to get hurt so much. I let people in and then they reject me. I’m a strong person and I can hold a lot of pain. When someone says I did a good job it’s hard for me to accept. When I write it’s not because I want to be better than anyone it’s I want people to see the true me and maybe in that they can see themself and maybe something I wrote will change their life. I’m not here for me I’m here for people. I always have put myself in the back because when you can hurt with someone you can really get to see who they truly are. My Dad died of cancer when he was 63. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt with him. I prayed he’d live every day. The last time I saw him hospice people said he screamed for me all night long. By the time I got there he was gone. His mind was gone by the drugs and he died later. He called me his problem child but I forgive him. I wish he would have shared his pain with me. Maybe it would have been to much for me. I had my family and babies at that time. So compliments are a rare thing so I value them very much! 

 

Thank you 

 

Tessa 

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  • Forum Moderator

 

Just now, Tessa said:

My Dad died of cancer when he was 63. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt with him. I prayed he’d live every day. The last time I saw him hospice people said he screamed for me all night long. By the time I got there he was gone.

Tessa, You sound like a very loving caring person.  This is probably why your Dad needed you so much near the end.  I am so sorry for your loss.  Losing a parent is so very difficult.  I'm glad your turning your past pain & sorrow into something so creative and expressive of yourself.  Keep writing..it's a wonderful gift.

 

Susan R?

 

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Compliment 

 

Had anyone complimented you today

Told you that you did a good job

Or did they just turn you away 

Your good deeds were just their to robb

 

A compliment can go a long way 

Especially when someone is hurt

Have you complimented anyone today

You could even say they have a nice shirt

 

We go about our day

Doing our regular things 

When we have so much we could say 

what even a smile brings 

 

Love has no color or race 

Love is a choice you have to make

It shows up in the most unlikely place 

It reminds us no one is a mistake

 

By 

 

Tessa 

 

 

 

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Flakes 

 

The air is cold 

The wind starts to blow

The forecast was told 

Its about to snow 

 

The clouds are white 

Different  sized snowflakes begin to fall

The snow acts as a light 

You can hear winter’s call

 

But what is she saying to us all

Thats the question that’s falling 

Kids will make a snowball

Can you Hear winter calling 

 

Each flake has its own personality

Different then the rest 

It knows what it wants to be 

As it falls to the ground to rest 

 

 By, 

 

Tessa

 

 

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Friends 

 

What is a friend

One who sticks closer than a brother 

Who will stay until the end 

And love like no other

 

A true friend will cry with you 

Rejoice with you and make you smile

Hold your hand and help you through 

They will walk the extra mile 

 

They will speak from the heart 

Even when it pains them so 

Their wisdom they will in part 

They will tell you where to go 

 

They will never judge 

Always lift you when your low 

They will give a gentle nudge 

How many true friends do you know 

 

By,

 

Tessa ?‍?

 

We all need friends in life. Some of us are lucky to have married thier best friend. Others are lucky to have a good friend.  A friend loves at all times. If you don’t have a friend you do now. I’ll be your friend?‍?

 

Loving All

 

Tessa?‍?

 

 

 

 

 

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Needed

 

When I was married 

I had a beautiful wife 

The pain I carried 

We constantly lived in strive

 

I tried to repair 

But nothing worked out

Now I’m alone in despair 

Learning what loneliness is all about

 

I want to love someone 

That will love me back 

I want to be needed by someone 

What is it that I lack 

 

Will anyone want me 

Or was she the only one 

I guess I’ll wait and see 

I just want to love someone

 

By, 

 

Tessa?‍?

 

Feelimg down today. But I’ll be ok. Miss Downer LOL 

 

 

 

 

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The Color Of Love ❤️

 

Love has no color 

It belongs to no race 

Giving is her brother 

Love is full of grace 

 

Love covers over all wrongs 

It never demands to be right 

It knows where it belongs 

It puts up a good fight 

 

It never runs from danger 

Instead it’s always near

Love is no stranger 

It’s not afraid to shed a tear 

 

Love never fails 

We all have it inside 

Love always prevails 

It’s always at your side 

 

By Tessa?‍?

 

Beautifully Inspired!!!

 

 

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Say To Yourself 

 

I Am Beautiful 

I am determined

I am wonderful

I am unlimited 

 

I can make a difference today

I matter to someone 

I’m not what society has to say 

I’m not finished no not done 

 

You can’t keep me quiet 

You can’t shut me down 

I won’t let you keep me silent 

You won’t make me frown 

 

I am beautiful 

I am determined 

I am wonderful 

I am unlimited 

 

Remember we are what makes life beautiful. Without us the world would have no one to take care of it. We are all caretakers of each other’s hearts. We are all fragile and needing of love. We all want to be touched and wanted by someone. Just remember you are beautiful!!! 

 

Anyone who reads this gets this rose from me ?

 

Just a little love can go a long way. Love someone today! 

 

Love, 

 

Tessa ?‍?

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Memories 

 

Oh the memmorie of days gone by

If we could just remember the good ones

Not the ones that make you cry

unfortunately are mind has tons 

 

Try to change a bad memory 

Can it be done 

Trying to change a part of you 

You’ll only turn and run 

 

You must face the past 

Even if it haunts you so 

The night won’t last 

Your good memory will show 

 

Give it time and you will see 

That the past can be made new 

You can be set free 

From the memories that are haunting you

 

By, 

 

Tessa?‍?

 

The past can hurt but as you face it you’ll see it can be replaced and you can be beautiful again. 

 

“You have a right to a beautiful life”

 

Selena Gomez

 

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Dreams

 

Every night I wake up in the dark 

But a dream has tried to liberate me

In my mind I just want to find a place to park 

A place where I can be truly free

 

When I wake up I am wide awake 

But only a few hours have passed by 

Sometimes I feel like a fake 

Other Times I just want to cry 

 

I have no friends that will call 

So I go it alone 

Telling myself these feeling will fall

Then I pick up my phone

 

Searching for something to put me back to sleep

Something to clear my head 

I want to take that leap 

But I stay the same instead

 

 By

 

Tessa 

 

I am searching to see if these feelings are past hurts coming out or if I’m having GD. I’m going to try to get some sleep now. 

 

Love, 

 

Tessa

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  • Forum Moderator

  As a child i had similar dreams every night.  Over time i think i dreamed "male".  Perhaps because of the all male schools, work and social life that was pressed on me.  Today i'm pleased to feel free to dream in any gender that comes in the night.  I try to simply sleep and as Bob Dylan said  i don't try to shovel them into the ditch of what they (dreams) mean.  

  Our lives and dreams run next to each other but i've never found them to be a path to follow.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

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Tessa, your poems are all so beautiful. I am wiping tear from my eyes as I write this as they have touched my soul. I look forward to reading more. You are truly a wise and talented woman!

 

Hugs,

Brandi

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Tessa, I’m honoured to have read your beautiful poems. To have put so much of yourself into your works and share it with us is a precious gift beyond words. 

 

Thank you so very much. 

 

*hugs*

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Money Isn’t Love

 

I have kids I adore 

They have learned from mom love is money

I want to give them so much more 

But I always come up empty

 

Sometimes they see me as a bank 

But I give from my heart 

I guess I have my ex to thank 

As they get older we drift apart 

 

It’s sad when your replaced with a puppy

Or even a concert ticket 

These are the things that make them happy

I wish they could get over it 

 

I use to want to compare 

But she no longer owns me 

My heart is all I can share 

Someday the children will see 

 

Life isn’t about what you own 

It’s about love shared every day 

I hope that I have shown 

So they can someday love that way 

 

I am not a bank to fulfill a wish 

I am a person who loves all

Neither am I selfish 

I will always be there though when they call

 

by 

 

Tessa?‍?

 

It’s hard having an ex that has a great job and can spend lots of money. I barely make child support. My kids grow bored at my little apartment and sometimes on my day ask to go home. I spend more money on them then I spend on myself. My ex will take them to concerts and she bought my son an Xbox. My kids are in their teens so I know it’s a hard time. I am a very giving person and this can be a problem because the person usually left out is me. 

 

My life, 

 

Tessa??‍?

 

 

 

 

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Just now, Tessa said:

My kids grow bored at my little apartment and sometimes on my day ask to go home. I spend more money on them then I spend on myself.

??? - I really felt this one Tessa x

 

Please do not lose sight of the fact that they are your children too, however much they are influenced by the person they are living full time with there is a part of them that came from you and they will grow into their own people, less of but more than both of their parents.

 

Your poem shows that you know where true happiness can be found and that material things while fun and sought after are only temporary distractions at best.  The best thing you can give is your time. 

Use it to bake, to walk, to swim, to sit and watch movies and binge Netflix, to listen to music - to BE with your kids - even if it is watching them play video games, be interested in who they are and what they like to do because they want to know that they matter and because even though the concert might be more exciting than sitting in the house, being loved unconditionally is what will ultimately remain.

It is hard to hear your child say they want to go, or that they don't love you, or that this is boring when you invest so much, but trust me when I say that EVERY parent has heard these things.  As long as they know that you are always there for them and will always love them you are giving them a foundation to build on and a template to treat others, be proud of what you do. xxx 

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"Many thanks, babe." "No problem, Big Guy." "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about exercise.  Karate in particular."  He pronounced it ka-ra-tay. "I am a second Dan black belt and there is a certain obligation there to teach other people." "Kara-tay? I don't know." "A friend of mine runs a dojo here and needs my help. He talked to me already.  Tuesday and Thursday night and Saturday mornings." "Oh.  So you will be there then." She looked disappointed. "I'm hoping you will be there." "Sounds dangerous.  But I could use the exercise." "And self-defense would be good. It might help." "It might. Huh.  Saturday morning?" "8 AM I need to be there. Classes run until noon. I don't need to be there the whole time." "Is there an intro class or anything?" "Yes. 10 to 11." "How about if I try that."  She was not very enthusiastic.  Punches and kicks and stuff.   Saturday morning they arrived together.  She wanted to watch the Green Belt class that met then just to see what she was in for. Sensei Mark came to the front of the room, before the big American and Japanese flags. Between them was a picture.  "I am honored to introduce to you Sensei Bob.  He is a second Dan black belt.  He has actually beaten me in tournaments.  I have known him through tournaments.  You will listen to him as you listen to me.   Sensei Bob, take the class. The two sensei bowed to each other.  Sensei Bob pointed out that Sensei Mark had beaten him, as well. Taylor was sort of standing against the back wall, scrunched up, a mouse in her crisp new beltless gi.  Her t-shirt was off white underneath it and she was hoping no one would notice. "I am Sensei Mark. You are Taylor." "Yes, sensei!" she stood at attention and shouted it. He laughed.  "This is not Cobra Kai and we are not in a Karate Kind movie.  You do that here only between bows.  Bob tells me you are a complete beginner." "That is an understatement." "Here, let me fix your gi."  She had it on a little incorrectly.  She drew back. "What's the matter?" "I am pretty touchy." "Okay.  Untie the straps in front and tie them the other way, like mine." "I don't have a belt." "There. That is right. You will get a belt after three months and passing tests on kata, kumite and karate knowledge." "I don't know what that is." "And we touch a lot here.  Not romantically. You see how Sensei Bob is going around and adjusting people's stances and arm locations." "Yes, I see that." No enthusiasm. "You are Sensei Bob's girl, right?" "Yes.  What is important to him is important to me, so here I am."  He wished her well and told her to go see Margie, who handled registration at the little table. "Hi, I heard about you." Margie began. "What does that mean?" "It means we treat everyone here with respect.  That was the wrong way to start." "I'll say. Try again." "Good morning. How can I help you?" "I want to register for the beginner class." "You are Taylor, right?" "Right." "Sensei Bob paid for your lesson today." He would. She gave name, address, age, height, weight, and they came to gender. Margie asked it twice. "Put down female." "The only other choice is male." "Then that is it." "Earlier I was thinking about tournaments, which are big here. The rules are that boys fight boys and girls fight girls - there are Men's and Women's Divisions.  I know you look like a woman, but they go by the birth certificate." This was awkward.  Really awkward.  Down at the other end of the room they were moving in unison when Bob said HAI!, turning, punching, kicking, etc. "I don't plan to go to tournaments.  One step at a time, shall we?" "Okay.  And I meant it when I said respect.  We bow to each other.  You will see. As a sign of honoring other people." Margie bowed slightly, sitting down.  Taylor returned the bow and smiled. The class moved into sparring, breaking into twos and practicing moves against each other.  Bob was moving among the pairs, adjusting positions of hands, hips, feet.  Taylor was unsure about someone touching her like that, her hips particularly.    The green belt class ended as new students came in for the beginners' class. Down at the other end the brown belt class began.  The room was large enough you could do two classes at the same time.   The other beginners, nervous, lined up at Margie's table.  People got into gis, the men in their big area and only woman in the little restroom that was for them.   Sensei Mark greeted them and showed them where to stand: on the little x's on the floor. He explained the School Code.  They would recite it at the beginning of class and they needed to memorize it for the white belt test, at which time they would, of course, receive a white belt. He explained some terms.    They warmed up with some basic, easy stretches.   They learned a kata called Taikyoku Shodan, involving blocks, punches and some movements. This was not bad.   She was now paired off with Judy.  Things were going well and this was not too bad. Judy was sixty years old and had been told to exercise by her doctor.  Taylor said her boyfriend was teaching the other class, which was impressive, and he wanted her involved.   "You remember the gedan barai - downward block?"  They did. Everyone showed him and he went around and made sure everyone had it down. "And the lunge punch?"  They did. "Now we are going to put them together. One of you will punch and the other block it. Okay?"   Taylor squared off against Judy.  Her heart was pounding.  She practiced her gedan barai as Judy practiced her lower lunge punch.  Then they faced each other. "Okay, first partner, lunge punch.  Second partner, lower block.  Slowly.  Go!" 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      These arrived in yesterday's mail. I'm out working in the yard today so just old clothes. I'm looking forward to wearing this t-shirt dress when the weather warms up a bit more.  
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      Ashley I've known busty girls who wore b nice bras tl work n such then like a sift sports bra to lounge or sleep in hugs
    • missyjo
      your nails b hair came wonderful  congratulations  enjoy
    • Willow
      The one thing about this position, if you want more hours just wait and be flexible.  I’m now working until 7:30 pm instead of 4:30.  
    • Ashley0616
      I hope your head cold goes away soon! Sorry you have to cut grass with that.   Love the new t-shirt   I love that one.    What Jeep would you want to get? That is awesome about your wife getting better!
    • Ashley0616
      Welcome Mattie! I would recommend the first step is finding a gender therapist and see if you are or aren't. Then one of the biggest steps if you are do you want to start hormone replacement therapy. The decision should be thought long and hard. There are irreversible effects. Looking forward to your next post! Take care!
    • Ashley0616
      Congratulations on being able to pick up a cancellation! I hope to hear more updates about your transition. 
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      Getting a dog maybe next month
    • Ashley0616
      Spending time with my kids and eventually will be adopting a dog next month. 
    • KymmieL
      Well every girl needs a play toy. I just happen to have 7 of them.   My hoses finally came in. have the passenger front installed. Now trying to figure out how to do the drivers side when the tire is still on and there is no room to do it.  I'll figure sumthin out.  I is smrt.   Well have the wife home with me. She wound up falling back asleep after turning her alarm off. I woke her up at 6:20. She is due to work at 6. She decided to just call in.       MaeBe that is what this thread was started for. A chat place to share our days and thoughts for the day.   Hugs   Kymmie
    • Ashley0616
      simplicity:  : the state of being simple, uncomplicated, or uncompounded : lack of subtlety or penetration : INNOCENCE, NAIVETÉ : FOLLY, SILLINESS : freedom from pretense or guile : CANDOR : directness of expression : CLARITY : restraint in ornamentation : AUSTERITY
    • MaeBe
      @Willow, it's great to hear about your wife's progress! It's also fun to hear about day-to-day stuff, like work. It's nice to think of this thread as a kind of morning chit chat place to go, like if we had a big table at The Daily Grind and were just listening and sharing over our morning brews.
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