Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I Am Beautiful


Tessa

Recommended Posts

Thank you. 

 

We went to go see Wreck It Ralph movie yesterday and had a good time. I miss having someone special in my life. The days I don’t see them are empty. I’m now working so at least Mon thru Fri 8 hours of that are of work. But it’s hard sometimes to come home to no one. I have plenty to do though. I can watch a movie, write, draw, read, take pictures, play on phone, go clothes shopping, etc. I love to write! I just finished another one of my short stories. This one was Christmas Puppy. I love to build up my characters and make them go through life situations.  Right now I love to write about Romance. Maybe it’s because I want it so much! I may never fully transition but the person I marry will have to love my sensitive side. Being a part time parent is hard sometimes.  My brothers both have families and houses and great jobs. They never call me. I’m alone just trying to survive sometimes but I just did my taxes and I’m getting a nice refund so this will help. My ex found out about the change in jobs and already demanding child support. Time moves forward and we move with it. It’s hard out here but it’s better than living under abuse and ridicule. 

No one should own anyone. In my marriage she owned me and kept me in prison by threatening divorce. When I let go I lost everything but If I would have stayed I would have probably lost my life. The kids will grow up and I will get older. I know that love is out there! I will live my life and love all until the day I find that love of my life.

 

Be strong and courageous when you have to and sacrifice when needed and live your life for others not yourself and good things will come! You just wait and see how wonderful your life can be! Hang in there and never give up! You got this! 

 

This is what I tell myself every day. 

 

Love, 

 

Tessa?‍?

Link to comment
  • Replies 118
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Tessa

    76

  • Susan R

    7

  • ToniTone

    7

  • Mmindy

    7

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

Ugly

 

How can any one say your ugly

Can they read what’s inside

They will never be able to see

What I’m trying to hide 

 

Won’t someone say I’m pretty

Or give me a second glance 

It would make me feel so free

If someone would give me the chance

 

No one is truly ugly 

It’s just something we say 

If we could truly see 

Ugliness would just go away 

 

We all bleed the same 

We all have to feel

So next time you feel shame 

Remember ugliness ain’t real

 

By 

 

Tessa 

 

(I used ain’t in my poetry to prove that even words can be thought as ugly. This word when it is expressed in the way it is in this poem brings out how evil it is to call anyone ugly. 

 

We are all breautiful in our own skin because beauty comes from within. 

 

Love ?

 

Tessa

 

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Another Day

 

Another day goes by 

Am I worth anything at all

Sometimes I wonder why 

I’m in a constant free fall 

 

I jumped a long time ago 

But I haven’t hit the ground

Life gave me a big blow 

But I hear a sound 

 

Beautiful music playing in my ear 

Saying I am worth something to someone somewhere

I’m not just nothing floating in the atmosphere

There is someone who does care 

 

Maybe a stranger or a friend 

 A lover from a far who sees me 

Someday this free fall will end 

And I can truly be free 

 

love, 

 

Tessa❤️?‍?

 

 

Link to comment

Sweetheart

 

Roses are red the sky is blue 

They each no their color 

How about you 

They each no one another 

 

The sky brings the sunshine 

So the rose can grow 

When will it bring mine 

I just don’t know 

 

Some one that will love me 

For who I really am inside 

some one who will set me free 

In then I can confide 

 

If the sky watches over the rose 

Makes sure that it will bloom 

Somebody out their knows 

And surely has the room 

 

To fit little pretty me 

Into their life and heart 

They can truly see 

I am their sweetheart 

 

by 

 

Tessa ?‍?

 

Link to comment

Broken Mirror

 

I look in the mirror 

And she looks back at me 

Things become clearer 

As she begins her plea 

 

Please don’t ignore me anymore

I long to come out 

Hear my roar

Dont silence my shout 

 

I am your true reflection 

Every thing you want to be 

You treat me like an infection 

Its because your blind and cannot see

 

The mirror is my place 

I stay locked inside 

How long will you chase 

You’ll never be satisfied 

 

Brake the mirror 

And let me free

You have nothing to fear 

This is my plea

 

by

 

Tesss?‍?

 

Link to comment

Your poems are all so beautiful. Compliment was sweet. I especially related to ugly bc I feel ugly on the outside. I hope hrt will shapen and soften me to reflect how I feel within, lovely. 

 

Fallen Rose touched me too. I've gone through a lot of heartbreak in my life. Life can be so cruel sometimes, but sometimes it can be sweet too. 

 

Keep up your art! ❤️

Link to comment

Thank you so much! I don’t get s lot of compliments so I appreciate it. Life had been tough on me going through a nasty divorce. I am a soft loving women inside. I long for someone to understand me for who I really am. I scared to do hrt. Not ready for that. Just focusing on getting to know Tessa. Nice to meet you and have a lovely day! 

 

Tessa?‍?

Link to comment

A Gift 

 

I am a gift 

I can never share 

I would love to lift 

The burden I bare 

 

What is beauty

How can anyone vote

Can they see inside me

What I wrote

 

I see Tessa in my eyes

Her beauty and smile

I see how she tries 

Maybe I should let her out awhile

 

The eyes that stare 

Are only a faded background 

I’m a gift to share 

True beauty I’ve found 

 

Faced my fears 

Forgotten what they say 

She’d some tears 

I’m here to stay 

 

No place to rest 

I sit inside my brain 

I’ve done my best

To deal with the pain

 

Am I a gift 

Would anyone open me 

Then maybe the burden would lift 

I could finally be free

 

It’s so hard to be me. The inside wants to reflect the outside. However, the transition is hard. I’m slowly moving into a new phase in my life but it’s a scary one. I’m glad at least I’m not alone. Last night I bought some woman’s dresses, skirts, and shirts. It’s hard being Tessa. I can admit it. It’s hard being you. The true you that you let no one see. 

 

Love 

 

Tessa?‍?

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Very nice Tessa, I enjoyed reading this morning

 

Have a great day !

 

C -

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Give yourself time Tessa.  Your writing so reminds me of myself some years ago.  This morning as i brushed my wig i saw a lovely ,if old, woman looking back. 

You are certainly not alone.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Dress Up 

 

Everyone likes to dress up 

Look good for the one you love 

Everyone likes to dress up 

To be able to rise above 

 

To feel a lovers embrace 

As they hold your hand 

To feel a gentle touch to your face 

You can barely stand 

 

To be loved is such a way 

That everything begins to spin 

You forget what to say 

It takes you out of your skin 

 

What if we dressed our heart 

What color would you choose 

What if we expressed our inner part 

What do we have to lose 

 

Tessa❤️

 

Link to comment
  • 5 weeks later...

I look at the sunset 

See all the brilliant colors

We must not forget 

That we are all sisters and brothers 

 

living under the same sky 

We all see the same

But we walk right by 

Afraid to give our name

 

The world has become so cold 

That hearts just break 

If we could just be bold 

Give instead of take 

 

To live together in peace 

Is a sign of love that’s real

Let all the judging cease 

A new world we will reveal

 

By 

 

Tessa?‍?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Lovely thought.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Real

 

What matters more 

How you look or feel

Down in our inner core 

That’s where we’re real 

 

Does anyone truly see

The deepest, darkest part 

Of you and me 

Down deep in our heart 

 

You have to dig deep inside

Be willing to get dirty 

You have to confide 

Really listen to our story

 

Hearts come in different sizes

But we all pump blood 

Inside us are surprises 

If only a person could 

 

See the truest form of you

You are wonderfully made 

All that you’ve been through

No need to be afraid 

 

If your living from the inside

Then the outside shouldn’t matter now

But we will run and hide 

Can someone show us how

 

By Tessa?‍?

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Nice read this morning Tessa,

 

I like being real, I live in the real world....

 

C -

Link to comment

Balance 

 

Life is all about balance 

Walking that line 

Taking a chance

You will be fine 

 

Stick to what you know 

Learn what you can 

Your life will grow 

Stick to your plan 

 

Don’t look down 

Focus straight ahead 

Don’t wear a frown 

Smile instead 

 

Life is hard you know

No ones life is a walk in the park

The places you will go 

If you choose to get out of the dark

 

Set your gaze on the light 

Watch your feet on the line

Your going to be alright 

Your going to be just fine

 

by

 

Tessa?‍?

 

Your going to be just fine. Maybe someone needed to hear that. ❤️

Link to comment

Journal

 

I carry my journal 

In my pocket 

It’s my secret tunnel 

So I make sure to lock it

 

I feel better after I write 

My thoughts are my cure 

My mind can rest from the fight 

I see I have nothing to fear 

 

The words are from my heart 

So no one could ever erase

Their from my inner part 

My inner beautiful face 

 

Me and my little book 

I can take anywhere 

It causes me to take a deeper look 

No longer do I need to compare

 

I am who I am to be

Every word that I write 

Is a part of me 

Fear can take flight 

 

I am who I am and that’s ok because who I am is the best version of myself.

 

By

 

Tessa?‍?

 

 

 

Link to comment

"You're going to be just fine"... 

I did need to hear that. Thanks for your beautiful words Tessa

❤️

Link to comment

Here

 

I’m just here

Does anyone see

Just another tear

Can anyone here me

 

I feel the tension 

It pulls me tight 

A little attention 

Would that be alright 

 

Fighting inside my head

The battle does wage

More tears I shed

As I try to get out of this cage

 

My silent world inside

Tucked away in my head 

I just want to hide 

Get away instead

 

Will my friends understand 

Will family leave me cold

Will anyone hold my hand 

Somethings wrong I’m told 

 

But nothings wrong with me 

I am living what’s inside

I just wish they all could see 

I don’t want to run and hide

 

I’m here 

Here to stay 

Another tear

But I’m not going away

 

By 

 

Tessa?‍?

 

This ones a little dark I know. But life sometimes is. The poem is about fighting through the tears and facing your fears. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Simple

 

If life was simple 

Everyone would smile

If life was easy 

We would all be happy 

 

life is not simple 

life is hard 

Everyday is a struggle 

But it can be easier 

 

Loving yourself 

Maybe the hardest thing you do 

Understanding who you are 

Takes time and patience 

 

Be patient with yourself 

Love who you are 

Don’t let anyone tell you your not loveable 

See yourself beautiful 

 

Words don’t have to rhyme 

But they need to be true 

Free yourself 

Take courage and be strong 

 

Life is not simple 

But living it we must 

Find that inner peace 

That ignites your inner person

 

We all we’re built to love 

Hate is only a choice 

Love is always stronger 

Find your inner voice and be at peace

 

I have always tried to rhyme my poems but this one I purposely chose not to. Pay attention to the words and let them speak to your heart. Words are the morrow of the soul. Communication is all we have and our words bring life to people. Be encouraged today that you are loved and have the courage to love yourself. 

 

Love

 

Tessa❤️?‍?

Link to comment

Gotta love oneself! It is hard sometimes though. 

 

I think most people have the misconception that poems have to rhyme. I like to focus more on the rythmn, the "timing" of syllables, and the word flow  Ya know!

Link to comment

If You Were Mine

 

Oh, If you were mine

I’de hold you tight

Everything would be divine

Oh, what a delight

 

You would have nothing to fear

Your tucked away in my heart

I would hold you so near 

We would never depart 

 

Locked in my forever embrace

You would no my love is real

Oh, what a lovely face 

I’de let you express what you feel 

 

Safe in my arms embrace

 Connected by love’s touch

Our hearts beating the same pace

Oh, I’de love you so much 

 

By 

 

Tessa?‍?

 

I found a friend that will let me be Tessa. I can be myself around him. It’s not a romantic relationship but It gets her out and that’s a big thing for me!  Last night I got to be fully dressed in a skirt and wear my wig and actually be me! It was a wonderful feeling! My family judges me but he does not. My trans daughter cut her hair even shorter. I can also be myself around my daughter. I went to a support group and I plan on going again. I was inspired to write this poem when I woke up. I would love to meet that person that would love me in this way!

 

Love to all!

 

Tessa?‍?

 

 

Link to comment

A Song 

 

I wake up to a bird’s song 

I hear the beautiful melody 

I would love to sing along 

Could the song be about me 

 

not done with this one yet. 

 

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 191 Guests (See full list)

    • Abigail Genevieve
    • MaryEllen
    • Ivy
    • Willow
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,024
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alscully
      Alscully
      (35 years old)
    2. floruisse
      floruisse
      (40 years old)
    3. Jasmine25
      Jasmine25
      (22 years old)
    4. Trev0rK
      Trev0rK
      (26 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      I'm actually in Asheville tonight.  Some of the people in the support group invited me for dinner after the meeting.  We're going to get together again tomorrow again. It's been nice, 4 trans women and 1 trans man, together ar a restaurant.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I found https://www.project2025.org/policy/   I will have to read it.  I have not.  What is of concern?   The link provided earlier goes back to this forum.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My parents were life long Democrats. 
    • Ivy
      'Nuff said. Yeah I'm not thrilled with Biden either. There are some conservative ideas I'm good with.  And I do feel that the current Democratic party is too cozy with the bankers and wealthy.  But despite all their talk, when it comes down to it, so are the Republicans.  And it's not the Dems calling for our eradication. Unfortunately, I see this election as existential for trans folks.  
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   @Birdie your CNA Is ill informed about breast and proper bra fitting.   My wife and I are checking out a campground up in Michigan just a little North of Saginaw, MI. We had a great meal at a local tavern serving delicious perch fillet dinner.   We’re going to check out the Saginaw,MI Bay area for summer time activities for when we come back on occasion. We belong to a camping club call Adventure Outdoors and have free camping at their resorts around Michigan and Ohio.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I agree.   Biden has been known to switch positions without notice, whether on abortion, Gaza or gay marriage.  Most of what he has done has been via executive order and decision, so it does not carry the force of lasting law and can be easily reversed.  I really do not trust him at all.   Trump says a lot of things.  He switches his position all the time.  Most of what he wants to do will require legislation to accomplish, some of which will simply never become law.  I do not trust him at all.   I'm not sure which is worse for trans people specifically because of this, and the fact that the other issues that surround trans folk which I attempted to isolate this question from, but here I go :) also affect trans people along with everyone else.   In either case trans folk need to be prepared. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      I'm certain that there are some, if not many, but you would be hard pressed to find them willing to speak up on this forum.  There are many trans folk who are conservative, and believe that Biden's non-trans related policies are terrible.  Those include his economic, foreign policy, border security, and environmental policies.  I'm a lifelong Democrat, and even I don't like all of Biden's policies.  It comes down to who would do the most damage to the most people, and the most damage to America as a going democratic nation which has respect for the rule of law.   Carolyn Marie
    • MaeBe
      Thank you for continuing to share your story, Sally!   Willa sounded like a grand friend, I'm sorry for your loss. :(
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Not all conservatives are for Trump.  I am far from thrilled he is running.  Just wanted to make that clear.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Anybody willing to present the case for Trump? Any conservatives out there?
    • MaeBe
      Two words(?): Project 2025   Please provide links to the "political calculus" referred to, I'd be interested to know where this is coming from. It seems odd that anyone would be advocating to vote in a President that has stated that he will try to use the federal government to go after LGBTQ+ people because voting back Biden, that is not doing that, might cause some state legislatures to put forth more discriminatory laws.   LGBTQ+ people are not safe in a MAGA future.
    • Ashley0616
      It's awesome that you have had such a great friend in your life! I could only imagine what losing felt like to you. It's neat that you worked for the airlines. Did you take advantage of the space availability fights? My dad worked for Northwest and always flew every single summer except one where we drove from north Mississippi to Phoenix, AZ. My parents agreed to never do that again lol. 
    • Ashley0616
      The trans community won't be good under Trump at all. Biden is the one who has done more for the trans community than any other presidents. Last time Trump was in office he was at an LGBTQ rally and his support went quickly away from us because the majority of the voters are anti trans. He is going to get rid of our rights and also come after the rest of LGBTQ.  I don't know where you heard we would be better under Trump.    Trump unveils sweeping attack on trans rights ahead of 2024 (axios.com)   Trump Promises to Go After Trans People if Re-Elected (vice.com)   Trump promises to ban transgender women from sports if re-elected (nbcnews.com)
    • Sally Stone
      Post 7 “The Pittsburgh Years” When I retired from the Army, we moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania because I had been hired by US Airways to work in their flight training department.  The transition to civilian life was a bit of an adjustment, but I never really looked back.  At the same time, I was excited at the prospect of having more Sally time. But with work and two teenage boys in the house, getting to be Sally was a challenge.    The biggest issue in this regard were my sons, as they didn’t know about my feminine side.  My wife and I discussed, in great detail, whether or not to tell them.  If they had known about Sally, it would have been much easier to actually be Sally when I wanted to.  But I still didn’t know exactly where my transgender journey was going to take me, and this uncertainty was the primary reason my wife and I decided it wasn’t the right time to tell them about Sally.  Except for the convenience it would afford me, we didn’t think it was fair to burdened them with such a sensitive family secret if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.  If at some point things changed and it looked like I might be heading towards transition, my wife and I agreed we would revisit our decision.   Despite having to tiptoe around the boys I was able, with my wife often running interference for me, to significantly increase my girl time.  The nature of my variable work schedule meant that often days off occurred during the week when the boys were in school, and on those days, I took full advantage of the time.  Additionally, I had discovered a new trans friend through a local support group, and my wife, ever and always accommodating, ensured I had time for outings with my new friend.    Willa, my new friend, quickly became my best friend, and after only a short time, she and my wife became quite close as well.  With Willa’s help, I would soon discover that Pittsburgh was a very trans friendly city.  Together, she and I made the town our own.  We attended the theater, the symphony, we went out to dinner regularly, and I think we visited every museum in the city.  With Willa’s support and friendship, I was actually becoming quite the girl about town.    Willa and I had a lot in common.  We loved to shop, we had similar feminine styles, and we had similar views and feelings about being trans.  In fact, our frequent and deep discussions about transgender issues helped me begin to understand my transgender nature.  Having Willa as a springboard for all topics transgender, was probably as effective as regularly visiting a therapist.  I would never discount anyone’s desire to seek professional help, but having an unbiased confidant, can also be an effective method for self-discovery.    Exploring the city as Sally and spending time with Willa was instrumental in helping me understand my transgender nature, and would begin shaping my transgender objective.  My feelings about the kind of girl I was and where I wanted to go began to solidify.  Being out and socializing as Sally in a big city like Pittsburgh, taught me I could express my femininity without issue.  I honestly felt confident I could live my life as a woman; however, remaining completely objective, I just couldn’t see giving up the life I’d built as a man.   At that time, I was being heavily influenced by the concept of the gender binary, which had me thinking I had to choose between being a man or being a woman.  It was Willa who reminded me there were no rules requiring gender identity to be binary.  During one of our deep discussions, she posited the idea of enjoying both genders, something she was doing, and a concept that made a lot of sense to me.  I was already living the life of a part-time woman, so I simply started paying more attention to how that was making me feel.    One characteristic that was dominating my feminine self-expression (and it continues to this day) was that when I was Sally, I was “all in.”  When I became Sally, it was such a complete transformation that I truly felt like a woman.  The feeling was powerful, and if I had to describe it another way, I’d say it was akin to an actor, so into the part, they actually become the character they are portraying.  That was me, and I discovered that this level of depth was extremely fulfilling, and that feeling tended to last long after transitioning back to my male persona.  Part-time womanhood it seemed, was actually working for me.    Eventually, a job change forced me to move away from Pittsburgh, but the enlightenment I experienced while living there has shaped the nature of my bi-gender personality to this day.  Even after leaving, Willa and I remained the best of friends.  We had many more adventures, some of which I will detail in later posts.  Sadly, Willa passed away two-years ago after contracting a prolonged illness.  Her loss was hard to take and I miss her dearly.  However, I have so many fond memories of our times together, and because her support helped shape me, she lives on in my heart.   Hugs,   Sally
    • missyjo
      thank you dear. I'm constantly working at adjusting n writing off other people's judgment or input.   thank you n good luck
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...