Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

VickySGV

Frustrated With Some Other Trans Christians --VENT

Recommended Posts

VickySGV

Over on another site for Trans Christians, I had one today that got to me in a way I did not think possible.  One of the other members on the site was having trouble with Dysphoria and issues with their church, and lastly with an insurance company that would not pay for their chest surgery.  The person flat out said that the issue was making them SUICIDAL.  The first two posts to him were statements to read his Bible, and a number of other stock suggestions about praying or all of that.  I read the post, and my immediate thought and response was to give the person the phone numbers for Trans Life Line and the link to our Chat site.  One person came back and told me that the person did not need that help with several "Christian Reasons" -- this was allegedly a Trans Christian  talking to me.  From there on no one even seemed to have read the OP mention of the suicide.  There were speculations about what God must be trying to tell him and a few "I will pray for you's"  but seeming fear to talk to the person on the topic of wanting to commit suicide or even the idea this was a real set of thoughts for the poster.  A bit later I did get a response from the person that they were calling the number I gave him, just that much.  I hope his call worked soon enough.  It is not anything to be ashamed of for any of us to ask for human help or for others to give it to us.  What a world.

Share this post


Link to post
Carolyn Marie

I am not a Christian, OK.  So far be it from me to say what Christians should or shouldn't say to a fellow believer.  But it sure seems to me that there are times to send "thoughts and prayers" somebody's way out of rote habit, and times for us, any of us, to just listen.  I'm not talking about pretend listening, but really, actively listening, and taking notice, and saying something meaningful and helpful to someone who needs such things.  Those are times when "thoughts and prayers" are.no more helpful than crock of warm doo doo. 

 

I hope he did take your advice, Vicky.  I also hope that at least a few of those supposed Christians took a page from your lesson plan and remember to apply it the next time a fellow Christian needs real help.  Or a non-Christian.  Or anyone in need of a helping hand.  Thanks for your posts, and your kindness to the stranger on the recieving end of your convo.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Share this post


Link to post
DeeDee

Vicky I'm so glad you were there. I am a firm believer that prayer is powerful, and would never ask someone not to pray for me, but it is not an excuse to sit idly by and do nothing and as Carolyn says in order to know what to pray for meaningfully you have to have actually listened first. People panic when things like suicide and self harming are mentioned and they retreat away from it in case they push further in that direction when the truth is it is better to acknowledge the elephant in the room. At least he responded to you, to say he would call the number - that is all you could really ask for. You were in the right place at the right time, being the right kind of person - caring. x

Share this post


Link to post
Josie Beth

Running from it was not really the issue. The issue was giving a pat answer to someone in need when the responder was ill qualified to give advice and instead of really listening was eager to ram this pat answer down someone’s throat.

 

One thing I’ve learned from being in a conservative home as a kid and later studying at a Christian college is that in spite of the organized church partaking in subjective interpretation of scripture that they don’t really understand, they then ridicule the same subjectivity they are guilty of all the time. It’s probably why more people are moving away from the large buildings and “I’ll pray for you” (magic wand) mentality because their problems are real and many people would rather throw slogans and verses at them than really do the harder work of going through the problems with that person. And many of these churches also take their money but won’t give back to their own members. It’s almost what I call hit and run spirituality. They smash their beliefs into another person and then run off as they pat themselves on the back. This happens all the time with people out “witnessing” or “ministering to the homeless” where it’s clear their world view is that Jesus is a bandaid that fixes everything instantly. What that usually shows me is that they have little to no real life experience or have never met a crisis point in their lives. Or something that they define as a crisis that Jesus fixed pales in comparison to something more devastating. 

 

The problem is not shying away from it, but being too eager to mimic what I call a sales pitch taught to them by clergy and laypeople. It’s also a problem that many church members are taught that giving to someone at a distance or separated from them somehow is more holy than helping people close to them. It’s like they don’t really want to get their hands dirty. So yes there’s that element in there as well.

 

Even as a child I was very critical of this issue and I could not wait to get away from it. Granted it’s not everyone who does that but it’s definitely a psychological problem and before anyone who believes can truly be a help to others they have to look at themselves and do the hard work of questioning their motives, and resisting the urge to fling cookie cutter responses at others. 

 

One of the things I did myself to move away from this epidemic was to question everything including my beliefs and then realize that I knew nothing really. Now I usually keep my opinions to myself unless they are questions I’m struggling with myself and even then I’m usually not qualified to give advice on serious issues. Sometimes people just want to be heard, and I’ve been there myself. Sometimes people want to know that they are not alone. 

 

It’s good that they reached out to the hotline. I hope that they were able to get the help they needed. I just hope they are able to differentiate between the people who jumped on the bandwagon of bandaid Christianity and those who really get it.

 

 I personally don’t believe but I understand that it can help others to navigate life. I just choose not to based on my own studies and information I’ve learned over the years. 

Share this post


Link to post
LouiseRose1954

I became a Christian in a critical time in my life-high school. Even being a practicing normal adolescent teen, wearing nightgowns, masturbating, and fantasizing about being a girl. Even then I saw nothing wrong with it. In spite of many trying to tell me it is wrong while telling me God does not make mistakes and does not make junk.  So it took me a while to see that there are many that need Jesus, even in the church.

I had many personal experiences of the power of prayer. It works. It is my first thing to do when there is a person in trouble. That is what I do. However, today we have many resources of those that have the gift to help those that are hurting and on the verge of throwing it away. I would be totally remiss if I did not offer these resources to someone needing them. Even the Apostle Paul had the physician, Luke, to help him.  God provides all these things, as well as prayer. So I say pray for that person and let them know you love them and God loves them. If they are Christian, encourage them to read and seek the answers there through prayer.  But also let them know there are others that want to help them and give them contact numbers to reach. God provided the resource. Why not use it?

Also, look at Jesus' example. He listened and took the time for the very insignificant. Why shouldn't we? We are to walk in His ways and follow His example. So take the time when witnessing to really listen. Help those that are homeless and hungry by feeding them and spending time with them. Help them find a home or give them something to make their life better.  It will do no good to tell them the Good News if they have no good in their life. Unfortunately you have to satisfy the physical before you can minister to the spiritual. Even Jesus and Jehovah did that. Again, follow their example if you are a Christian. It is what we are suppose to do. Jesus fed people that came to him. God fed those that followed him.

Unfortunately there are those that misinterpret the Word and develop dogma and rules never intended. Plus you have the same filthy lucre that existed in Jesus' day:  the love of money, power and prestige.  So we have to be wise as serpents and gentle as doves.  We need to expose the gainsayers with the truth. Don't follow in their footsteps.

 

With love, LouiseRose

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 65 Guests (See full list)

    • AnAnxiousMess
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      69,387
    • Total Posts
      626,866
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      5,896
    • Most Online
      8,356

    citrusii395
    Newest Member
    citrusii395
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. abstractemp
      abstractemp
      (23 years old)
    2. Aeroswift99
      Aeroswift99
    3. Willow
      Willow
      (71 years old)
  • Posts

    • VickySGV
      I am not advertising Pantene Hair products, just showing some recent You Tube stuff sent to me by friends.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xodxm2PyD2A&fbclid=IwAR1xUyzcIsSAba2GCETe20oSspxNTxbhcXaH6DytxYB_onlQhwtgwy535rw   This is a PEOPLE MAGAZINE article on the project.  https://people.com/style/pantene-glaad-the-trans-chorus-of-los-angeles-partner-on-video-series/?fbclid=IwAR2MsHInpT5OOKl_-b468RQdm-hsG0vOXMwEs9p9F_j9RAHR4pMIX5G5Bk4
    • citrusii395
      Hey, I'm a new FtM member, but I'm still questioning that. At the moment, I'm still figuring out my name, but you can just call me Victor or Vex. Either one works. Here's some stuff about me. Age: 14 Height: 5'2" (sadly) Gendre: AFAB (FtM; Questioning) Interests: Art, music, cooking, baking, sewing, gaming, game creation, Chinese (gay) dramas anything involving computers really Parents: Supportive but questions me about it   Thank you for reading this.
    • Jani
      This is a decent book.  I bought the paperback version some time ago.  They referenced a companion audio file that could be downloaded that demonstrated the exercises, etc.  Unfortunately I cannot find it.  
    • A. Dillon
      Thank you! I just want to let you know that I prefer to go by Dillon, but my parents said that I am not allowed to make that my first name. (and the name Dillon B had already been taken)   Yours Truly,  Dillon B.  
    • Belle
      Shawna and Laura,   I'm reading through a Kindle book called The Voice Book for Trans and Non-Binary People. It has good reviews and it has been helpful so far. It doesn't have an Audible version so you would have to read it rather than listen to it. But it has lessons you could learn while reading and then practice while you're driving.   I have also watched a number of YouTube videos that have been helpful. There are several sisters who I can't believe they aren't cis, so I steer away from any others.   If I find a good source for lessons that can be done while driving I will post here.   Love and Hugs 💋 Belle  
    • ShawnaLeigh
      Well I asked for “the gift of shopping “. Lol Gift cards are my best friend lately.   There are so many female things I want it’s crazy.    Some I am not ready to wear in public yet but nevertheless want them.  I don’t know all my sizes from brand to brand so I need to try things on.  I can’t exactly ask for anything outright yet.  I love to shop and look and buy.  Dream over some things.    
    • Belle
      Same to you Shawna! And I'm sorry I've been misspelling your name. I had read one of your earlier posts where you said you had tried to put Shawn as your name but it wouldn't let you, so I was trying to respect that. I wasn't paying enough attention to your signature in your replies!    Love,  Belle ❤️
    • ShawnaLeigh
      I had downloaded an iPhone app call VoiceUp and it seemed to be helping.  The analyzer gave me fairly good numbers well into the female range with very little male range recorded. Just after a short while too. Though to me I still sound male.   I realize the range of a cis women can vary fairly low in pitch to very high.  But still.  To me I still sound male.  I hate it.   At best I may sound like a gay male.  Which is a beginning I suppose.   I plan to seek out a voice trainer in my area if I can get it covered under insurance.  Fingers crossed.  
    • Belle
      Tally, I'm so happy that you're finally making it to the endocrinologist! I want to start HRT so much! A while ago I actually started on some herb cream that was causing changes very quickly. I was ecstatic but soon realized I had to slow down for safety but also because at some point in the not so distant future my wife would figure it out. That's when I came out to her and she insisted I stop. My dysphoria skyrocketed.   If you're comfortable with it please share as your body begins to align with your true self.   Belle  <3
    • ShawnaLeigh
      We may of been born and even lived a huge amount of time in our male shells but inside we are women.  Something we are trying slowly to bring out and bloom.   This is how I know you.  Read you.  I am glad to of met you here and hope to hear and read more from you.   lot of love Shawna.  
    • Leah
      This is the best time of the year to browse through the female side of Wally World, and buy frilly things with lots of straps. "My wife/gf/mistress told me she wants a new _____ for Christmas." If it doesn't fit, "surprize her" by exchanging yourself after Christmas for a better size. Realistically, they're too busy to care about anything except getting off ... er, work that is, not the other.
    • EliAvery
      Welcome, Andrew. 
    • Laura76
      Hi ShawnaLeigh,    Has there been any further response to your question? Did you get the EVA MTF for the iphone? I too am working on my voice, since I sound VERY male, and am still in transition.   Thank  you, Laura76
    • A. Dillon
      You have no idea how much I feel this. For years, I would literally tell myself that I should have been a boy, that I was just waiting for the testosterone to kick in, everything like that, but totally dismissed the idea that I was trans. It was (and still kinda is) confusing, but eventually I learned to just do what made me the happiest, which I now know is rocking a man's jeans, a man's haircut, and a man's name.
    • Belle
      I'm just so used to getting a reaction from females as if I'm a guy. I'm overly sensitive to the idea that something I have said was taken wrong. It has happened so many times with varying reactions.    🤗
  • Upcoming Events

×
×
  • Create New...