Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Painted Fingernail Ban Temporarily Lifted ?


Susan R

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

I have an agreement with my wonderful wife that I can have my nails as long as I want until we have a guest or family over for a visit. I grow them out and then when someone comes over it's time to get out the clippers.  Well, our daughter and son-in-law who had planned to drive here this weekend had something come up so I didn't need to cut them.  One other thing, until I'm out to everyone I'm never allowed to paint my finger nails....toe nails are ok, no problem.  Well tonight, I decided to "dress up to the nines" in a little celebration that I didn't have to cut my nails until next week.  After I was all done dressing, doing my hair and makeup, my wife came up to me and asked, how about I paint your nails just for tonight and part of tomorrow?  You can imagine my excitement and answer being that I love long beautiful nails so much.

The polish is nothing special, just some $7 drugstore nail polish but it feels like a million bucks to me.  I haven't painted my fingernail in over 30 years so this was a real treat.

 

Susan R?

IMG_0583.JPG

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I like the color and they look beautiful Susan, very happy for you :)

 

Hugs

 

Cynthia -

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Thank you all for your kind comments.  You are all simply the best! 

@DeeDee @tracy_j @Willow @Kirsten @Cyndee @SaraAW @Jani @killjoyaiden

6 mos ago, If you would've told me I'd be posting online pictures of my long painted nails, I would've asked what planet you're from.  I just love all these changes and just can't help myself!

 

Susan R?

Link to comment

They're lovely, Susan! I grew my nails out and painted them in a neutral color before I officially "came out." They and my pierced ears were quite the conversation starter. It's such a shame you have to put them up.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Beverly said:

They're lovely, Susan! I grew my nails out and painted them in a neutral color before I officially "came out." They and my pierced ears were quite the conversation starter. It's such a shame you have to put them up.

Thanks @Beverly, @Ashlee and @killjoyaiden  I realize it's going to take time for my wife to transition along with me.  We're going to be with ppl in an hour or so that I haven't come out to yet, so as of a couple hours ago, I'm back to my "manly hands".  I can't believe how hard it was to finally sit down and start removing the polish & cut them back.  I actually procrastinated and experienced a moment of GD right then.   I looked at my wife right after and jokingly said, "I finally feel like a REAL man!"  She looked at my chest and chuckled.  At least I gave her a good laugh.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Susan R said:

I looked at my wife right after and jokingly said, "I finally feel like a REAL man!"  She looked at my chest and chuckled.  At least I gave her a good laugh.

 

Susan R?

LOL! A sense of humor in transition is a good thing. Don't forget to remove your fake lashes and tuck your slip in. Thin eye liner I forgot to remove in my haste to get ready did me in at a graduation party for my nephew. It actually served as a catalyst for coming out to the whole family shortly thereafter. The back and forth is not without peril! :rolleyes:

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
Just now, Beverly said:

It actually served as a catalyst for coming out to the whole family shortly thereafter. The back and forth is not without peril! :rolleyes:

 

Oh the signals that can and do slip out ?

 

Hugs

 

C -

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Beverly said:

The back and forth is not without peril! :rolleyes:

I'm used to it now because of my past...living as both man and woman but it still doesn't prevent every mistake.  It usually means it's more costly if I make one.

 

1 hour ago, Cyndee said:

Oh the signals that can and do slip out ?

I've made a few mistakes recently.  My son-in-law came over without calling to get his laptop OS installed.  I sat there with my very long (unpainted) nails trying to type worrying about what he would think if he saw my nails.  Oh, the clicking sound made me cringe every key stroke.  He eventually looked over and saw my long nails tapping away.  My wife quietly laughed.  I looked over at her and gave HER the evil eye.  I was very embarrassed but I got thru it.  My son-in-law said nothing about my nails that day (to me at least).  My daughter and the entire family came over the next weekend.  My daughter kept looking at my hands.  I knew she was told because she was persistent in looking for my nails.  Luckily, I had trimmed them back a bit before they arrived but they were still a little longer than normal.  I have no idea what they think but they had obviously had a discussion about it.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
6 hours ago, Susan R said:

I have no idea what they think but they had obviously had a discussion about it.

 

Susan R?

 

Oh wow Susan I sense the day approaches when the HRT and other factors start to leak through even more and what was unsaid will have to come out in the open in some form.

 

Best to you dear

 

C -

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
2 hours ago, Cyndee said:

Oh wow Susan I sense the day approaches when the HRT and other factors start to leak through even more and what was unsaid will have to come out in the open in some form.

Yes, I agree.  I'm at the point where I wear tight undershirts and compression undershirts around them now  I am slowly trying to convey this to my wife.  She (and I to a lesser extent) is hesitant to let the kids/grandkids know.  I have such a great relationship with the kids and grandkids and shes worried it could change that.  I actually talked about it last night when I was making that post that I'm not getting any younger and the kids should know who I really am..the real me, for better or worse.  She understands but it's still very hard.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Yes, these are the fine details to work out with your wife for sure Susan, such as the timing and how much information should be shared if any, as to maintain your already wonderful relationships . Definitely a go slow approach with much consultation in these delicate areas, sounds like you're on topic with her. I came out to our daughters when they were teens, even though they may have suspect something was up earlier. There were several rocky periods, mostly revolving worrying over what their friends might say, or how it would affect them. Now I am happy to say both relationships are well and I can be totally truthful and open with them, took a long time, the relationships did evolve, they are much older and mature now.

 

Best wishes in your family setting Susan, especially with the little ones. There is a wonderful advantage to living authentically, being honest and transparent with those you love, it's healthy.

 

Hugs

 

C -

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
3 hours ago, Cyndee said:

Now I am happy to say both relationships are well and I can be totally truthful and open with them, took a long time, the relationships did evolve, they are much older and mature now.

My daughters are extremely LGBTQ friendly, two of the three girls have been personally involved in that community.  The third one has in-laws with gay children so she is very accepting too.  I remind my wife of this but she says, "It's a little different when it hits home...their reaction to you being a woman my differ from what you might expect."  In some regard, I agree.  But like you say, living authentically with loved ones is healthy and important to me.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
6 hours ago, Susan R said:

She (and I to a lesser extent) is hesitant to let the kids/grandkids know.  I have such a great relationship with the kids and grandkids and shes worried it could change that.

  

Hi Susan!

By no means am I suggesting this is what every trans person should do, but I would like to share my own thought process and experience. I felt like I was keeping the real me, the best me, from all of my family members by not disclosing and living openly as me to them. They only knew an unhappy impostor posing as someone who wasn't real. I don't have children of my own. My nieces and nephews and their children are like my children and grandchildren. When I came out, they all embraced and love their aunt Beverly. It has been an amazing experience. Being the favorite aunt in the family is quite affirming. Don't underestimate the power of love. You may be pleasantly surprised.

xo,

Beverly  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
Just now, Beverly said:

Being the favorite aunt in the family is quite affirming. Don't underestimate the power of love. You may be pleasantly surprised.

xo,

 Beverly  

Thank you, Beverly.  Your words ring true and are confidence building.  I will share this with my wife.  She needs to hear this as much as I do.  For her at this time, it's easier not to rock the boat but eventually I may have no choice.

 

Susan R?

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
5 hours ago, Susan R said:

she says, "It's a little different when it hits home...

Yes but as your daughters are either friends or family with other LGBT people, it has hit home already.  Reading this about them I really doubt there will be any concerns over Susan.  

 

As to your nails, when I stopped biting mine years ago I let them grow.  My wife said they're too long but I reminded her that my uncle (a truck driver who owned his own small fleet) always had nicely trimmed nails.  She wasn't used to seeing mine long since I had bit them for so long.  She got over it soon enough.  Just don't go crazy.  What you've showed us is hardly "long."  They look stylish!  Go Susan Go!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   9 Members, 0 Anonymous, 126 Guests (See full list)

    • SamC
    • LyndseyQ
    • violet r
    • Ivy
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Betty K
    • MaryEllen
    • VickySGV
    • EasyE
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,013
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      It is a lifesaver for a lot of us.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  What I do as a man is what a woman would do if she were a man.  There is just something feminine about the way I act as a man.  It's not that being a woman is actually better, or something to aspire to, but it is just that I am one, while not being one.   If beating my head bloody to get rid off this stupid dysphoria would fix it I would find the nearest wall, but I know that if I did that, when I woke up, it would still be there.   If I did not have this struggle I would be someone else and I would be less of a person than I am.  They say an oak tree growing in an open field is far stronger than one in a forest.  The storms come and go and I stand.   This forum is the first time I have interacted with other people struggling with the same struggle and parallel struggles. It helps.
    • Ashley0616
      I'm sorry! :( Hopefully something better will come up
    • Ashley0616
      Thank you! Did great with the kids
    • Sally Stone
      That's me too, Mae.  I don't think it's me as much as it is the camera (that's my story anyway).  Cameras hate me.  I never met one that liked me.  I often wish I was photogenic; sadly, not so much.   However, you look terrific in that selfie! 
    • Sally Stone
      April, I'm so glad things went well when you came out to your spouse.  So often, things can go sideways.  It's a hurdle we all have to jump at some point.
    • violet r
      I totally understand what you just said. I can relate to this very well. I have a lot.of similar feelings.
    • KymmieL
      Well it is a no go for the new position. OH, well. nothing ventured nothing gained.   Kymmie
    • Davie
      Dickey Betts, the singer, songwriter, and guitarist of the Allman Brothers Band whose piercing solos, beloved songs and hell-raising spirit defined the band and Southern rock in general, died Thursday morning 04/18/2024 at the age of 80. Rest in peace...
    • MaeBe
      Thank you @Mirrabooka!
    • April Marie
      What an amazing life you've shared with your wife. I can understand the trepidation you had at telling her at that point in your relationship but it certainly saved all of the guilt, the questioning and the secrecy that would have filled your lives had you not.   I'm on the other end of the spectrum having denied and buried my truth for decades and fast approaching 50 years of marriage when the dysphoria and depression finally came to critical mass and I unloaded it all on a New Year's Day morning. As you might imagine, it led to a lot of questions, of questioning everything, of anger and hurt on my wife's part. Guilt, embarrassment, fear...and anything else you can imagine on my part.   Thankfully, our love for each other has always been the foundation of our relationship and, ultimately, we both agreed that staying together was what we both wanted. It was a tough year but, now into the 2d since my coming out, we've hit our stride and are exploring this new norm in our life.   I do so love your blog.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Will be at my place
    • Vidanjali
      Congratulations on your new family member!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I thought I would try my version of this. Changes in bold.   I am Transgender.  Sometimes it is remote, sometimes close. Sometimes I am euphoric, sometimes depressed. It is something I cannot get away from and cannot welcome enough. I see some things both ways that neither men as men see or women as women see.  I can be gentle and compassionate and hard as nails. I was born with male genitals but a female heart   I have my heart.  Whatever it is. When I look at a female, I wish I looked like her  Depends on the woman.  When I look at a male, I wish I did not look like him   Ditto. I envy female movements, softness, behaviors, appearances, fashion...EVERYTHING Female Depends. Sometimes I get angry at them because women spend time and energy in ways men don't.  It is not necessarily bad.  I could do without the gossip. Not all women gossip.  Excessive focus on fashion is something I find annoying. And expensive. I tolerate all things male out of social obligation...not because I feel like a man or because it makes me happy....but because that's what I was forced to believe was my only choice....beginning in early childhood. Sometimes it is helpful to put on the Iron Man suit and act accordingly.  But I have seen some tough women. When I look at myself in the mirror in only bra and panties...I can see my nude female body...and it makes me smile and feel amazing and warm inside....yet sad because that is not my reality. I could go either way, mostly. Really.  In tests in the last two years technicians have gone really quiet when they see how little body and leg hair I have.  I looked at myself this morning.  Remove a few clues and a girl is standing there. When I look at myself in the mirror in only boxers...I can see my nude male body and it saddens me deeply and makes me feel sick and depressed...and at times...even ashamed....Because this IS my reality. At this point I am not going to do that. In the mood I am in I might break the mirror. My true gender does not influence my sexual interests or preferences...or change who I am....in any form or fashion. Gender identity is in no way connected to anything sexually related on any level.  Not sure I want to make that statement so categorically. Life as a male leaves me with a feeling that something is off...that something is missing...that something is not as it should have been.   Well put. The idea of having to continue living as a male...as someone I am not...for the rest of my life...even if its only part time...causes great sadness and anxiety within myself. I've got priorities beyond this that this must fit into. The idea of living as the girl I am and always have been on a full time basis...regardless of where I am, what I am doing or who I am around...brings me great joy, happiness and a sense of peace within myself.  Would be neat. Looking like and living as a girl makes me smile.   Would be neat.  There are downsides.  Looking like and living as a guy makes me sad.   I have had lots of practice accepting this. I am Transgender....I am a girl
    • Ashley0616
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...