Why do we feel relief transitioning

[Michelle F]

This is confusing to me. Since making the move, I am so TOTALLY calmed down my partner thinks there is danger of rebound... That this is somehow an illusion of happiness. Not genuine in other words...

 

You know what I mean?

[Carolyn Marie]

Michelle, I'm not sure what your partner is thinking, but I think there are a couple of things at play concerning your emotions.

 

First, it was my experience, and many of those I've heard from, that female hormones make one a little less confrontational, more calm, more thoughtful, and less prone to anger.  I'm sure that such is not the case during ones menstrual cycle, but since we don't experience that (except for those taking Progesterone), its not a factor.

 

Second, and maybe more important, is the fact that getting to the point of transition is for most of us so difficult, all consuming, stressful, fear inducing, and life changing, that actually achieving it is a ginormous relief.  All that stress going away would be noticeable to anyone, especially ones significant other.

 

Just my dos centavos.  Hope it helps.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Janeshannon]

I agree with Carolyn Marie. It seems like everything I do which allows me to show the world me is hugely stressful. As a result once I've done it and realized that it was really only a big deal to me I feel hugely relieved. I can see how over coming that stress and anxiety would make you seem super calm and peaceful. 

 

Congratulations, you might be approaching your destination. 

[Jani]

Another point that relates to anyone is that once we no longer harbor a secret we are lighter and more relaxed.  Secrets create tension that is noticeable. 

[claire1000]

Carolyn Marie hits it right on the head, for me it took years and a life changing event{ the death of my wife) to finally face what had been bothering me since childhood. I knew, and felt I should have been born a female but like many born in the fifties I just tried to plow through life as a male. With the help of a wonderful therapist I finally started to face the issue. Like many the fears I had were mostly in my own mind, going out dressed as woman to a support group was terrifying  but the second time not so bad, and then the third time, and after that it became just going out as me. When I started HRT I  like many I expected overnight results but they took time to the point where it was my daughters that noticed the changes first because being calmer, and emotional just kind of happened and I had accepted the the changes without hardly noticing them. I think as much as anything our bodies ,and brains may finally be adjusting to being in the right alignment for once. I have learned there is no reason to fight the changes because they just feel right.

[VickySGV]

For those of us who are also recovering addicts as well as Trans, one of our bedrock principals is "You are only as sick as your secrets" and that TOTAL and fearless honesty is the way out of that prison.  When your darkest secret comes out, it is like a vampire getting both the oaken stake in its heart and glimpse of sunlight all at once.

 

We are rid of the weight of carrying our armor that protected that secret, and that stuff was bullet proof, and radiation proof and waterproof like an old time divers suit with all of its weight belts, boots and hard hat.  It can be fun scary to get rid of all that stuff, but we no longer have to wear it when we are honest about who we are and how we feel.

[Josie Beth]

At first it’s just the relief of making the first step. Then over time you start to notice small changes like better skin, even improving health. Being able to handle stress better. Without hormones my body rebels against me and all sorts of ill effects are a constant battle. Emotionally it rebels too. I’d rather be awkward and have my body in sync with itself than fight the big T every day. It’s really a lot like the stars aligning.

[Susan R]

6 hours ago, Jani said:

Secrets create tension that is noticeable. 

This is so true.  Although there are several other factors, my relationship with my wife is better than it has ever been now that we share no secrets from one another.  I can look her straight in the eyes and it's like she can read my mind.  Nothing is hidden in our relationship now.  We've discussed it several times and it's the freedom to be who we are without judgement and criticism that has made us even better for one another.

 

Susan R?

[Cyndee]

Transition fixes dysphoria (proven), and as a result wellness occurs (speaking for myself). It is a big relief Michelle, when there is no more facade to keep up.

 

Hugs and happy for you...

 

C -

[Ashlee]

Just now, Cyndee said:

Transition fixes dysphoria (proven), and as a result wellness occurs (speaking for myself). It is a big relief Michelle, when there is no more facade to keep up.

 

Hugs and happy for you...

 

C -

Yes, I agree with this. I know my happiness is genuine too. My therapist and my endo have both commented this week about me joking and laughing more. I believe not having to hide in the closet anymore has a lot to do with it. I think when we are able to just express/be ourselves and not care do much about rejection or whatever we genuinely feel good. Don't get me wrong I'm still struggling terribly with dysphoria but in general I am much much happier. Im pretty sure, like the other girls have mentioned, transitioning to our true selves takes away a lot of depression and stress genuinely. My biggest fear was transitioning, now it's being told I'm not able to transition for whatever reason. 

Ashlee ❤️

[Beverly]

All I know is that everyone who knew me before transition tells me I'm a happier person now. My reply is, no, I'm not ''happier." I was never happy. I'm finally happy for the first time in my life. I never knew happiness until I decided to throw caution to the wind to be who I was meant to be. A happy positive person attracts other happy positive people into their lives. I'm not exaggerating when I say this is the best time of my life.

[Michelle F]

Holy Cow!

 

All I can say is wow!

 

Gimme a minute to make coffee and regroup a bit... I am a bit overwhelmed by the intensity of the response...

 

Just WOW..!?

[LouiseRose1954]

I agree with Beverly. I transitioned in the 90's.  Lived ft for 19years then DMV made me change my ID back to match my birth cert. and I had to stop the hrt and revert back to male.  I was never happy as male and then I was after I transitioned. Now I have been very unhappy for seven years and I am trying to turn it around again. Especially when I found out DMV was wrong and I did not have to change my ID. Now I am waiting to move and get away from Homophobic bigoted family we are living with. Then I will be ft again and this time I have papers to have bc changed too.. Then I can also feel relief from this prison I have been in.

[killjoyaiden]

Just now, LouiseRose1954 said:

Lived ft for 19years then DMV made me change my ID back to match my birth cert. and I had to stop the hrt and revert back to male. 

Oh my god, Louise, I'm so sorry that happened. That sounds awful. I can't imagine going through that.

[Michelle F]

DMV Sacramento...? Really? 

 

Wow! I am down south in Palm Springs. I got no resistance for court order, social security card and DMV

[LouiseRose1954]

On 2/11/2019 at 6:45 AM, killjoyaiden said:

Oh my god, Louise, I'm so sorry that happened. That sounds awful. I can't imagine going through that.

That's alright. I am getting it turned around. I just got my Rx for the blocker and estrogen sent to my pharmacy. My labs were drawn Friday and once I hear from them about the results I can start my hrt. Next step I will take the papers to court to change the Birth Certificate and ID.

With love, LouiseRose

[Michelle F]

Final step us getting Version in my real name. My new VA ID is current. Just my pay