Dancing!!!!

[Kirsten]

I have a question. How do you learn to dance like a girl?! I am a very good male dancer. Club dancing not ballroom, but even ballroom I’m not bad. I have a great boxstep but still I’m the lead not the girl. Anyways, like I said I’m a very good dancer, but men and women don’t dance the same. At all. So how do you learn? Not many 40 year old women can’t dance. It seems like it’s a sure giveaway. And if I practice, I don’t have the female swagger. The hips. The twists. The hand motions. Whenever I try I end up back in male club dancing mode. I gotta find that swagger! But idk how. ?

[Makayla2019]

Hi Kirsten. Now I am no expert but I find that I am able to be just free when dancing as Makyala. I really get to feel the music which you don’t tend to do as a male unless very drunk of course. 

I kinda think when it comes to disco it’s anything goes right hehe. 

As for ballroom now I would just find a good leading man haha. 

 

Maybe we just post videos of our bad dancing. Haha. 

[DeeDee]

Kirsten - I love dancing, and this is something I hope to face in the future but the tough thing is the fluidity. Girls seem to be more relaxed in their muscles which lets them flow.  Most of the girls I know are not too different to the guys for the most part, just far more hips and arm and shoulder movements, unless you wander into dirty dancing territory - The Just dance game is a great way to dance along with the women just to get more natural movement and also get music that might be playing irl..

[Kirsten]

Just now, DeeDee said:

 Girls seem to be more relaxed in their muscles which lets them flow.  Most of the girls I know are not too different to the guys for the most part, just far more hips and arm and shoulder movements,

YESSSSSSS!!! Exactly! See I was a club rat for about 10 years. Worked at them, danced at them, even was part of a revue once, but it’s always been that the guy dances TO the girl. The girl just sways and flows like you said. And when I try, I feel silly. I don’t look right. It’s twitchy at best I’d say. Lol. 

 

Ps if you ever need a glow stick rave dancer, well I’m your girl! With and without strings! Oh the good ol days. Well what I can remember at least. Lol. 

[Kirsten]

Just now, Makayla2019 said:

Now I am no expert but I find that I am able to be just free when dancing as Makyala. I really get to feel the music which you don’t tend to do as a male unless very drunk of course. 

See when I do that, I go back to my roots. And they are most definitely not female. I feel the music as a male. And I want to swap that. But it’s a lot more difficult than it seems.  

 

And im worried that I’m going dancing with the girls next weekend. 

[Makayla2019]

Just now, Kirsten said:

And im worried that I’m going dancing with the girls next weekend. 

So we have some work to do haha. 

 

How do do you go dancing in the car? I find I just let my hair down so much more. I actually don’t care what I look like it just feels like I am free. Almost crazy dancing. 

 

I think arms and head are key the hips and legs follow on. But I suppose depends on what type of music. 

Inwiukd say girls dance in much more excited manner. There are no inhibitions. 

[DeeDee]

Just now, Kirsten said:

 

Ps if you ever need a glow stick rave dancer, well I’m your girl! With and without strings! Oh the good ol days. Well what I can remember at least. Lol. 

? I was trying to introduce my niece to Faithless and Insomnia a couple of weeks ago, which was a staple when I was out, but she was not having any of it! Definitely just dance for yourself and not anyone else. And hope for strobe lighting that makes everything look amazing!

[Raven1981]

Your lucky Kristen.  I was never a dancer myself when I was male.  But well, I was never the out going type of person.  

 

But this has got me thinking and I have always wanted to signup for it, so I am thinking on signing up for Ballet.  I know out here in AZ and I am already checking into, there is a Ballet class that is for Adults and I can go dressed and myself and follow the female dress code, as long as I also keep everything hidden.

[Kirsten]

@DeeDee I can’t say I’m familiar with those. If you look up Webster Hall that’s what I listened to. It’s your basic rave music. I’m sure y’all had great rave music over there though. We were a bit behind with that. I actually went there a bunch of times too. It was crazy. I met dj tiesto and actually got to hang with him a couple times when he came to a club just outside Boston. Drugs girls booze and crazy a nights back then. It’s how I hooked up so much. When you can dance, the girls melt. Well when you’re 21-25ish. The drugs and booze didn’t hurt either. Lol. Oh the memories. ?

@Makayla2019 I tend to be okay in the car. But that’s kind of a 1 handed head bobbing deal. Idk. I’m sure I’m overthinking it anyways. As usual. But I am proud of how I dance. And now I’m not. Stinks is all. From the only guy allowed on stage with the girls back in the day to afraid to dance in public. Gonna have to call the girls I guess. 

[Kirsten]

Amy I was not anything like a ballet dancer. That is so hard to do. My niece does ballet. She’s amazing. As for me, I can’t turn my feet like that, not do I have anywhere near the flexibility required. Good luck to you there hun! 

[SugarMagnolia]

I'll throw this out: less is more.

You're thinking of women dancers that you've noticed which means they're probably pretty good. But there are tons of women who just move a little.

I'd say that starting out your goal is to just not look like you've drank a quart of espresso. So, slow down, don't do too much and concentrate on torso/hip led movement, bent knees, and with your hands and arms at chest level or above.

Disclaimer: I'm NOT a good dancer, but I have reasonably decent observation skills. Just don't ask me to put my observations into practice!

[Jani]

Julie is correct that there are many "average" dancers and that's fine.  I love to dance and I watched a younger cousin years ago to determine what I was doing wrong.  Get looser and let your body move through all its joints!  Get rid of the stiffness, loose the inhibitions, and feel the music. 

[Cyndee]

12 hours ago, SugarMagnolia said:

Disclaimer: I'm NOT a good dancer, but I have reasonably decent observation skills. Just don't ask me to put my observations into practice!

 

Some of the best dancing girls could be seen at Grateful Dead concerts, the hippy chicks could let loose like no other, there is a fluidity in that style. I like to emulate that, twirl like a girl, feel it and let go....

 

I have also had the fun to observe dancers from the stage as I'm jamming and moving my feet, it's a wonderful feeling to have the groove and their feet moving with you, gyrating bodies below you amazing....

 

One night we were playing a club in So Tacoma and these 3 girls come in immediately liven up place, one of the girls was like us and she was amazing, watching this T girl worship our lead singer at the edge of the stage during one song, it was so much fun, and he was in denial....?

 

C -

[SugarMagnolia]

As I enter this I'm watching a bunch of high school kids dance. I'm volunteering at a Valentine's day dance for LGBTQ youth in our area. 

 

Let me just say that fluidity and grace are nowhere in sight. But spastic moves to the feel of the music are everywhere. ?

 

I think Jani's right. Just give and enjoy the music like these kids and you can't go wrong!

[tracy_j]

9 hours ago, Kirsten said:

Amy I was not anything like a ballet dancer. That is so hard to do. My niece does ballet. She’s amazing. As for me, I can’t turn my feet like that, not do I have anywhere near the flexibility required. Good luck to you there hun! 

 

I love dancing, but get little chance these days except alone at home. When I was little I wanted to be a ballet dancer, and enjoyed reading my sister's books in which they were often featured. It never happened (I don't think my family were rich enough anyway), but in teenage years I did buy a book and learn a few steps. I am fairly flexible (probably very from normal male standards).

 

When I first started going to discos, I remember one particular occasion tying to impress a girl. She thought I was drunk (and I had had none). That changed me forever, as I thought that if I could not do things seriously I would just have a laugh, so got more relaxed. Getting back to the ballet, I used to makeup my own routines, and incorporate some ballet in them (I often find it extremly difficult or even impossible to do some things like anyone else). I think peoples reaction was very varied as for some it was obviously too much (I was so amused on one occasion when several little girls attempted to copy me - a ballet star? ? ), but some girls were impressed at times as I could dance to things like heavy metal or progressive rock where most would be on their air guitars etc. Lots of girls love to dance, but most males don't outside of clubs and discos.

 

Where would this get me as a woman? I am not sure, but I just love rhythm!

 

Tracy

[Kirsten]

Thanks for the ideas. I tried it out a little last night at my friends birthday. We were not out, but there were plenty of people for feedback. I start out okay if I can keep myself from getting too into it. But once the music takes over I tend to slide back to my old ways. Apparently I can dance like the dirtier girls in the club pretty well, but at 40 and being me it’s not an optimal situation.... to say it in a good way. Lol. It’s once again a real work in progress. Like everything. 

After talking about it last night, another part is you really have to be very comfortable with your body. And I am not really that comfortable with myself yet. I think as dysphoria dilutes it’ll be easier too. Basically dancing is showing yourself off to a beat. And girls really do show themselves off whereas the guy usually tries to add to her not show himself off. It’s a weird dynamic.

I hope I can figure it out because I love to dance. 

[Makayla2019]

I am sure you will in time Kirsten. Just enjoy the night and try not to worry about it I guess. Drink just enough would also help. Hehe

[Kirsten]

This is so me dancing right now! ???

 

https://www.facebook.com/1834215606/posts/10210531830732052?sfns=mo

 

sorry it’s a fb post. 

[Michelle F]

Just dance like nobody is looking...

 

If feeling too masculine do a spin and ring it in...