I sometimes feel like I'm "faking it" ?

[hmillerrr]

Hey guys! 

I don't know if it's just me but does anybody else feel like they're "faking" their dysphoria or their identity ? I don't know if it's subconscious guilt or the fact that when I first come out my parents told me I didn't have dysphoria but there are moments when I look in the mirror and dislike my chest or my feminine features and I feel like I'm faking it. Like I'm making the dysphoria up in my head or it's not dysphoria at all but just a generalized disliking for myself that is totally separate from my identity. I'm constantly over thinking the way I talk if I sound too feminine etc and I feel like I'm causing myself dysphoria. I don't know, sometimes I feel like I'm convincing myself I'm trans. I think my general misunderstanding of dysphoria contributes to this because I only know what other ppl tell me of dyphoria? Idk would one say this is dyphoria? Have any of you guys and gals felt this way? Much love to you beautiful people.

-Trevor

[VickySGV]

One breath at a time there, one complete breath at a time.  Your folks DO NOT KNOW whether you have it or not and I will act as their parent and tell them so!!  You have a question of your gender!!  That is not something  a Cis person has, and would not even wonder about or ask their parents about.  Your parents are Cis gender and cannot even come close to understanding since they never had the question.  As to what it will take to get you to where you know where you are on the gender spectrum is going to be an adventure you will have to take, and questioning your gender is how you get there.  The questions are TYPICAL OF DYSPHORIA!  Stick around here and enjoy our company until you can figure out what it will take to put you at ease with yourself,  Only you can find YOUR answers.  I found mine! 

 

[Carolyn Marie]

Trevor, Vicky is completely correct.  Cis-gender people are cis-gender because they don't question their assigned birth gender.  They are completely comfortable in their own skin.  You, on the other hand, may not yet be sure, but you are certainly questioning whether your gender as assigned at birth is correct.  That makes you transgender in the eyes of the community and among gender therapists.  What you choose to do about that is what you have to decide.  It is an important decision, for sure.

 

I asked my gender therapist a very similar question way back when.  I told her that I didn't hate my body, that it didn't disgust me or give me suicidal thoughts.  Doesn't that make me some kind of fraud, I asked?  No, she said, it only means that I didn't have severe body dysphoria, and no, I was not defrauding myself or anyone else.  She also said she was happy that I wasn't suicidal, and that being suicidal was not a prerequisite for being trans.  That wasn't the last time we had such a discussion.  In the end, I came to realize who I was, without any doubts whatsoever, and I made the choice to transition.

 

I hope that helps, hon.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie