Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

hmillerrr

I sometimes feel like I'm "faking it" ?

Recommended Posts

hmillerrr

Hey guys! 

I don't know if it's just me but does anybody else feel like they're "faking" their dysphoria or their identity ? I don't know if it's subconscious guilt or the fact that when I first come out my parents told me I didn't have dysphoria but there are moments when I look in the mirror and dislike my chest or my feminine features and I feel like I'm faking it. Like I'm making the dysphoria up in my head or it's not dysphoria at all but just a generalized disliking for myself that is totally separate from my identity. I'm constantly over thinking the way I talk if I sound too feminine etc and I feel like I'm causing myself dysphoria. I don't know, sometimes I feel like I'm convincing myself I'm trans. I think my general misunderstanding of dysphoria contributes to this because I only know what other ppl tell me of dyphoria? Idk would one say this is dyphoria? Have any of you guys and gals felt this way? Much love to you beautiful people.

-Trevor

Share this post


Link to post
VickySGV

One breath at a time there, one complete breath at a time.  Your folks DO NOT KNOW whether you have it or not and I will act as their parent and tell them so!!  You have a question of your gender!!  That is not something  a Cis person has, and would not even wonder about or ask their parents about.  Your parents are Cis gender and cannot even come close to understanding since they never had the question.  As to what it will take to get you to where you know where you are on the gender spectrum is going to be an adventure you will have to take, and questioning your gender is how you get there.  The questions are TYPICAL OF DYSPHORIA!  Stick around here and enjoy our company until you can figure out what it will take to put you at ease with yourself,  Only you can find YOUR answers.  I found mine! 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Carolyn Marie

Trevor, Vicky is completely correct.  Cis-gender people are cis-gender because they don't question their assigned birth gender.  They are completely comfortable in their own skin.  You, on the other hand, may not yet be sure, but you are certainly questioning whether your gender as assigned at birth is correct.  That makes you transgender in the eyes of the community and among gender therapists.  What you choose to do about that is what you have to decide.  It is an important decision, for sure.

 

I asked my gender therapist a very similar question way back when.  I told her that I didn't hate my body, that it didn't disgust me or give me suicidal thoughts.  Doesn't that make me some kind of fraud, I asked?  No, she said, it only means that I didn't have severe body dysphoria, and no, I was not defrauding myself or anyone else.  She also said she was happy that I wasn't suicidal, and that being suicidal was not a prerequisite for being trans.  That wasn't the last time we had such a discussion.  In the end, I came to realize who I was, without any doubts whatsoever, and I made the choice to transition.

 

I hope that helps, hon.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 142 Guests (See full list)

    • Ronin82
    • Jani
    • ShawnaLeigh
    • Aidan5
    • Krisvm
    • QuestioningAmber
    • Mahaney
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      69,228
    • Total Posts
      625,242
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      5,813
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Jill Autry
    Newest Member
    Jill Autry
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. SamanthaC
      SamanthaC
      (57 years old)
  • Posts

    • Aidan5
      Morning everyone, I can't say I have had the best morning but I did go to my therapist appointment so that made me feel better about my week. This morning my brother was being really transphobic and making fun of my hair, though I really like it. He kept saying things like "Trans people are dumb" and "You will always be a girl" He said really hurtful things and I tried to tell my stepmom, she used the camera to go back through and listen and she just told me to grow up. I also fought with my dad because he didn't like my hair, I told him that it was my hair so I could have it however I want. I just wish they would call me Aidan, that would mean the world to me, or even just "A" anything but my deadname. I left my house crying because I can't hold it in anymore, 2 years of this, I just have 1 more left.    But on a good note, my fish babies are doing well.
    • Jani
      @Josie Beth you are still young so don't discount being able to establish yourself in a job you can be happy with.  Have you considered moving to a place that may be more accepting and that offers better job protections?  It doesn't seem like you are attached to the area you are in.   Jani
    • Jani
      Wow that's amazing.  I had read about Harrison Browne when he moved from the women's team he played on.  Good for all of them. 
    • Timber Wolf
      Good morning everyone, 😸   Happy Birthday SamanthaC!🎂 Hope your day is special!   Lots of love,  Timber Wolf 🐾
    • Aidan5
    • ShawnaLeigh
      Well I’d go for a flavored coffee over hot chocolate.   but the hugs I really need.  I’ve had zero human contact since I can’t remember when.   kind of sad really.   Thank you all.  ❤️
    • ToniTone
      I agree with Lucca on all points. And would add that disclosing one's identity as trans would be in their best interest I believe, even if they are passing and/or post op. I say that primarily for safety. But also for acceptance, for ourselves and from others. There's that population that wants to deny they are trans, and I think it's healthy to accept that about ones self.    ~Toni
    • SaraAW
      I agree with Jackie. Some nice chocolate or even a hot cocoa and some nice hugs. I hope things get better for you soon. 
    • Jackie C.
      My god I just want to give you hugs and chocolate*. They don't fix everything, but they make it a little better.   *Good chocolate mind you. Bad chocolate just leads to tummy-aches and sadness.   HUGS!
    • ShawnaLeigh
      I’m just letting things settle and give people time to absorb.  
    • Jackie C.
      I suppose it COULD be considered transphobic if the sole reason you're refusing to "swipe right" is that the person in question is trans. If you're otherwise attracted to them, why wouldn't you give it a chance? The compatible genitals thing is kind of a non-issue for me. It might have mattered more when I was younger, but there are plenty of work-arounds if you have a little creativity and a desire to please your partner. I probably don't have to tell anyone here, but there are more ways to "have sex" than what they taught you about in sex-ed. As far as I'm concerned, if everybody had a good time and gets to climax, the evening was a rousing success.   It's not very transphobic though. More... I don't know, ignorant? I think it goes back to, "Oh, that's really a man," thinking. We're getting past that, but it's a big leap for the older generation. What constitutes the older generation varies by region. Some places are more progressive than others.   I don't like the idea of hiding it either... but that seems like something that I also don't have to reveal right away. If things look like they're getting to the point where it could be an issue (hey, I'm a good girl, I don't put out on the first date) then your partner should be informed. Though in my case, I look like a log with breasts glued on so I can't imagine a prospective partner wouldn't at least suspect.   So yeah, I guess the problem is that we're not in a great spot as far as our acceptance by society. It makes it hard for us to find a love connection because prejudice, cultural artifacts and propaganda from a certain segment of the population. It's not fair. It strongly curtails our ability to find happiness with another human. We have to deal with it though. At least it's better now than it was twenty years ago, right?   Hugs!
    • ShawnaLeigh
      I did take the time to try and explain the difference and that it’s not a simple choice between keeping my life as is or being my true self.  I explained how I fully understand what this means for my life going forward.  The loss I will experience. The hate and fears of others.   But some will never get it.  Educated or not.  They have to want to understand before they can understand and unfortunately there are so many with a narrow preconceived conception of what this all is.   it is not my job to educate everyone I know but I at least try to explain myself.  Try to be understanding to their feelings and just ask for support and love.  Not advice.  
    • SaraAW
      You know her better than us. If things are bad, do not be afraid to cut ties. You do not need toxic people in your life.    DNA may be shared in a biological family, but true Family is made of those you love and who love you back unconditionally.    *hugs*
    • SaraAW
      OMG. I had no idea the decision was reversed. Some people truly sicken me with just how awful they can be. My heart is breaking for Luna and her mom.    I hope this storm blows over quickly, but I suspect it won’t, with the appeal made. 
    • ShawnaLeigh
      My mother and I have always had a strained relationship due to her always being the kind of person that says whatever she wants.  Hurtful or not with no concerns of how the person will take it.  She is never wrong and it’s always some one else’s fault.  I do not respond well to her personality.   So this new issue in her life is a fertile field of places to plant her “advice” and wisdom on how I need to do things.  It is not for my benefit  or a concern for me either mentally or not.  It’s how she feels and what she thinks is the only true course of action I need to take.  Which as you can see doesn’t sit well with me.   But I will just keep trying.  Slowly.  
  • Upcoming Events

×
×
  • Create New...