Making progress with my mother...

[Ceres]

My mother has never really seemed like she has been very accepting of me. She would always ask me questions like "Why do you feel the need to do this?" or "Are you sure this is really what you want". She would even mask her discontent in the guise of supportive information, like sending me an article about the dangers of hormone therapy and other such things. Now, I know what you may be thinking, she is just trying to understand and see where she can help the most, etc... This is not the case. These questions had been asked multiple times over the span of several years. They would be accompanied by statements like "maybe your wife can help you to be able to love yourself more and see how much everyone else loves you just the way you are..." Long story short, I have never truly felt that she accepted this part of me. Let alone supported me, despite her verbal assurances. It always felt like candy coated love and acceptance with a gooey core of judgement!

 

Until the other day... I was talking to my ex-wife and I received a text from my mother, asking if I had told anyone at work and whether I feel if I'd have a good support system here..... Who are you and what have you done with my mother!? LOL! It made me happy that she asked me something trans related without an agenda and actually constructive! Which makes me hopeful that I will actually be able to have a meaningful (or at least somewhat meaningful) relationship with her after all is said and done!

 

Anyway, just thought I'd share! Hope you all are doing well! ?

[tracy_j]

I am glad you have a better response.

 

I think it is really difficult for most parents to accept things and, in my opinion, even if you mother did not understand or accept the way you are, from what you say, she seems to care enough to want to help in the ways she sees from her perspective without getting heated about it. She was accepting you as her child even though she thought you were wrong.

 

Whether you are male or female or neither she will always be your mother.

 

Tracy