Intersexed-Human-Recoverying- Retired Chief Swabbie

[Davi W-D]

I am an intersexed DES SON (69 YO) who life transitioned to female long (1992) ago.

There is no sex listed on my Birth Certificate. Name change was done in 1994.

Forty-four+ years of 12 Step work got me through the "identity confusion" without Professional help.
Born with severe hypospadias and  micropenis that was surgically corrected using likely the best techniques available in 1955 +/- a year. I have almost no memory of it and no one in the family has been willing to even admit anything was done, but I have the scars to prove it.

I developed "B" breasts at puberty that leaked for a year. I have never been able to successfully stand to urinate. 

That surgical correction is now failing completely causing difficulty urinating. I am here to look at my options.
I was considering simple  urethrostomy and orchiectomy.  I think I can get this as treatment for the failing reconstruction and early (age 36) onset BPH (probably a DES side effect) since I have chronic kidney stones that could be made worse by most BPH treatments.
Then I stumbled onto vulvoplasty. Mostly what I am interested in is the creation of the labia majora since what passes for a penis is smaller that some clitoris and the orchiectomy will likely make it get significantly smaller.
I have assembled some relevant information here. >>>>>    https://drive.google.com/open?id=1VCjluvvWEmsQzbZ_9uUWnGCJxaf-WbdH    Looks to me like the vulvoplasty would accomplish what I want to do.

NEVER END UP WITH AN INDWELLING CATHETER because kidney stones don't go through catheters.

 

Watch for me in the Recovery and Intersexed sections. 

[Jani]

Welcome Davi,  I hope you feel at home here.  It appears a vulvoplasty may suit you fine.  I hope to see you around.

 

Jani

[VickySGV]

I was just reading about the Vulvoplasty on another site and it does look like it is going to have its takers, in fact I read it on a friend's site who is going to have it done that way although she did not name a provider.  I had the Vaginoplasty at age 65 and it does have an upkeep factor, that based on my potential partners could have been overkill (In 6 years, not a one.).  I am also a DES child so yes it does have something to do with our lives.  I hope we can help you out and vice versa, welcome to the Forums.

[Jani]

Is it safe to assume you serve in the Navy as well?  If so, great.  Me too. 

 

Jani

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Forums, Davi.  There is a lot you can teach us, and hopefully vice versa.  I look forward to reading your posts in the near future.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Davi W-D]

2 hours ago, Jani said:

Is it safe to assume you serve in the Navy as well?  If so, great.  Me too. 

 

Jani

20 years, 7 months, 9 days. They counted them. I didn't. I had gotten sober at about year 7 and by year 14 or so figured out that part of the reason I was in the military was to "be a man" even if I couldn't stand up to pee and had tits.

It was near the end of that career, that I found out that I had be worked on. I had contracted micobacterium avium complex and my immune system had shut down, so the Navy was turning me inside out trying to figure out what was happening.

I was in the Nuclear Power field so I got higher levels of medical monitoring than the common swabbie and almost every year I would test having blood in my urine. So they ordered a Ureteroscopy.

The tech tried to stick the scope in the dimple and I started screaming and stopped him. Showed him the actual urethra exit and it was such an oddity to him that he called in the doctor. The doctor took a good look and asked, "When was your reconstruction done and why?"  I said: What are you talking about?" then he pointed out all the scars. Likely had multiple surgeries. 

He also personally supervised the insertion and fortunately, they knocked me out. 

He later told me that he saw longitudinal scars in the urethra that he suspected were from repeated small kidney stones and there were also inner scars and restrictions from the reconstruction and that I also had significant restriction at the prostate with longitudinal scarring there as well. Said the kidney stones were probably the cause of the blood in the urine all my life.

I write about my stones problem in the file I posted a link to. Besides the small ones that I barely notice, as I have gotten older, I have a BIG one about every 2.5-3.5 years that sends me to the ER. 

Having a catheter in and having it get plugged up blocking ALL urine flow would be a really, really bad thing.

Especially since I have 3 separate, (another indicator of DES exposure in the womb) functioning kidneys making urine. 

[Jani]

Very interesting to say the least.  So your plan (as of now) is to look into a vulvoplasty.  It appears this would resolve part of the issue you deal with, the external part at least.   

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Davi,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf ??

[Davi W-D]

On 3/1/2019 at 10:18 PM, Jani said:

Very interesting to say the least.  So your plan (as of now) is to look into a vulvoplasty.  It appears this would resolve part of the issue you deal with, the external part at least.   

 

No. The external part is well below secondary.

 

The primary goals are to:

1, Sleep all night without having to get up 3+ times and dribble on myself for several minutes and still not feel like my bladder is empty.

2. Never end up with an indwelling catheter.

 

A quasi medical article about the trials and tribulations of Jazz, apparently now, seeking at least a vulvoplasty and she became suicidal when told it wasn't easily possible because of the early medical intervention with androgen suppressing drugs, was what alerted me to the fact that since all of my current external genitalia will fit in 1/2 of a tennis ball, I probably do not have the material for a full vulvoplasty without grafts and skin transfers or skin expansions. 

 

I am 69 years old. The way I know that I am not a "transexual" is that I have never hated my external sex organs until I started dribbling on myself most of the time. As long as I had sufficient urine flow/pressure to be able to empty my bladder by stretching it past my scrotum, I was okay.

 

I cannot do that anymore because stretching it seems to make the urethra act like a Chinese handcuff. I stretch it and the inside shrinks. So, the solution is to re-route the urethra to a more convenient location and get rid of the scar tissue and strictures caused by the childhood sex assignment surgery ( I really feel for Jazz now that her options are limited by the actions of the adults in her childhood, cheered on the the transexual lobby, including all of my MTF prot'eg'es, and I have never seen even one episode of the show.) and get rid of the testicles to reduce the testosterone that is causing the prostate to swell and further choke off the flow.

 

Yes, In my much older age it would be nice to have something down there that looks a bit more like what I prefer to look like publicly,  but, I am not willing to spend months on pain killers and undergo multiple surgeries, and risk multiple infections to get it. So, I strongly suspect that at best, all I will be able to get is some reasonable facsimile of small labia majora. 

 

I am not willing to risk killing myself early to "look like a woman". More proof that I am not a transexual.

 

I am probably not going to spend much more time here. Still hoping that an intersexed person that has actually had a vulvoplasty will speak up. 

 

I left the "trans spaces" nearly 20 years ago because of the knee jerk  stereotypical assumptions about what I should be wanting and how I should be acting in order to be a woman. What happened in the Alcohol Recovery Section is a perfect example of what I am talking about.

 

The goal isn't to be a woman. It is to live a long and happy life as a human being instead of a short and miserable life as a human doing what the gender police think I should be doing.

It would be nice to pass on what I have learned about living as a human being to others that are killing themselves with alcohol and drugs trying to be humans doing, but I cannot do it by whispering.

[Jani]

1 hour ago, Davi W-D said:

The way I know that I am not a "transexual" is that I have never hated my external sex organs

This is a non sequitur,  Not all trans* people dislike their genitals.  As you indicate you are intersex and transitioned some time ago so it seems all you are seeking is a medical solution for your urinary concerns.  I would keep the two separate as they are not connected.  I would seek out the best urologist I could find.  There is never a time to late to be happy.