Hrt-hair & fat questions

[ToniTone]

So, I'm new here. amab, I identity as androgynous, skewing to feminine. I'm 32 and just beginning to explore my gender identity and my options for course of action. 

 

I don't know, it might seem a bit arbitrary, neurotic or vain to be so preoccupied by this, but I have alot of anxiety about facial and body hair. I'm just utterly repellent and rejecting of my androgenic hair. I am constantly plucking it out, sometimes anxiously throughout the night at the compromise of healthy sleep. I don't like shaving, I hate the rapid, stubbly regrowth. I doubt I can afford or have the patience for electrolysis or laser removal. Might try chemical dipilation. But anyway... 

 

I also have developed body dysphoria. I hate the square, bean shaped torso I've developed. When I was in my teens and early 20s, I had a slim, girly figure and posture. I felt alot cuter and more comfortable in my body. I wish my fat was more evenly distributed proportionally, distributing to the hips and thighs more than the gut and love handles. 

 

I've been studying up on feminizing hrt recently, and think I grasp the basic concepts of it's functionality. It's something I'm seriously considering talking to a Dr about. But I have some questions still.

 

I'm also pansexual with some discernment. I kinda fear feminizing and hrt might negatively impact my ability to have a relationship with cis-females. But I feel like I have to try this to feel closer to what I am. 

 

I'd rather maintain my ability to perform. But I'm not really all that sexual anymore. I'm more focused on finding a deeper, more meaningful kind of love, particularly in embracing myself. 

 

Do any of you relate to my anxieties and body dysphoria? Did hrt help any with these afflictions? Does it soften the hair some? Did it help you feel more feminine beyond just changing your physiology, like on a psych/emotional level? 

[Carolyn Marie]

Speaking for my own experience, HRT did change my mental and emotional outlook to some degree, as did gender therapy.   The freedom to be myself, to allow my emotions the full range rather than constrained as many cis-men's are, were noticeable and welcome.  The physical effects did include softening of, and eventual lessening of, body hair.  Facial hair was not affected in any way.  Others may have other experiences, as you might expect.

 

Carolyn Marie

[VickySGV]

HRT did help with the body hair, although mine was always baby fine blonde, and my beard was also very light for a male, and patchy.  Shaving with a 5 blade razor is great, I have only had a tiny amount of Electrolysis done.  Growing my own hair long has been one of my better dysphoria relievers.  On HRT, some of the chemical depilatives  will work better on your leg and arm hair than they will while you are Testosterone fueled, but please do not use those on your beard area or you can really hurt your face skin.  Like Carolyn, HRT did calm me down and even out my  real hatred of being male bodied.  For the first 50 years of my life I did not have the vocabulary to know what was going on, although back at 14 I did try the Halloween dress up as female.

[Cyndee]

4 hours ago, ToniTone said:

I'd rather maintain my ability to perform. But I'm not really all that sexual anymore. I'm more focused on finding a deeper, more meaningful kind of love, particularly in embracing myself. 

 

 

Hello Toni, I will just mention feminizing hormones will most likely impact "your ability to perform as a male". Just loose any expectations of retaining performance, and if you do and want that, great, but don't expect...

 

HRT for me gave me calm from the male sex drive, it was an underlying issue with me, I was glad to see it go, having 2 children already, and a steady long term relationship made that decision easy for me. The body hair issue, almost totally disappeared with me, as I approach 8 years now with HRT. I had thick course body hair before starting, now I barely need a light touch up certain areas and very infrequently, it's like night and day with me. Facial hair I needed 300 + hours of electrolysis to clear that mess, HRT made no difference there.

 

For my emotional / and mental health HRT was a god send, I am in a good place now, I can look back and see how destructive having T in my veins really was, it's far better today, however there is an adjustment and that can get a little bumpy, that's why we recommend having a counselor you can work with, when starting HRT.

 

Hope that helps.

 

C -

 

 

[ToniTone]

Thank you all for letting me pick your brain on these things. My androgenic hair is very thick, dark and course. It feels like steel wool pushing out my skin. I understand hrt may not impact this, but the other issues I face with body dysphoria are enough to motivate me to pursue this. Even the slightest lightening of my body hair would be a relief. 

 

I feel when I'm more hormonal almost sick. Like the dht in me is toxifying. 

 

I am growing out my head hair again. I always felt more like myself with long/girly hairstyles. I might try the inverted Bob hairstyle again. It's not bold, sassy look for me! I've been dressing in more dark, unisex fit clothing too. I'm already starting to feel more like myself again, it feels right. 

 

Part of me looks forward to my testosterone fueled arousal to decline. I get really anxious when I'm physically unwillingly "-excited-". Like the only way to relieve it is to wait it out (which takes forever sometimes), or alleviate it manually. It feels gross. 

 

I understand hrt comes with it's own trials and possibly complications. I suppose at the end of the day the decision whether or not to pursue it comes down to priority and what pain comes with more benefit to self. I'll definitely seek professional help and counseling in my pursuit of this. 

 

Thanks again for letting me check your ear about this y'all! ❤️

[Jani]

Be careful of picking hair as this can lead to ingrown hairs as the root area is damaged a bit.  As for having patience for hair removal, you get what you need by going the best route.  Permanent removal is not cheap or fast but it is definitely worth the effort.  Anything else is just postponing the process as hair co antiques to grow.  

 

I agree with my friends that HRT (even in a low dosage) will have a calming effect on your mind and your body will start to change in a positive direction.   Professional care is recommended!

  

[ToniTone]

Oh yeah, I know all about it! I've been plucking for over a decade now. I still suffer the occasional ingrown hair. But I more or less mastered a form that cleanly pulls the hair out. Keeping face, hands and tweezers clean helps prevent infection too. There really is no convenient, magic bullet cure for this issue is there... 

[Beverly]

Hi, ToniTone,

HRT will help with body hair issues, but you'll need to spend lots of money and many hours on laser and electrolysis, if you want to be smooth. HRT doesn't affect facial hair all that much. A side effect of HRT is reduced erectile function, reduction in size, and ability to climax. There are lots of ways to enjoy sex, and with some creativity, a person can make the transition work with male or female partners.

Beverly  

[ToniTone]

Thanks Beverly.

I'm curious though, does it reduce arousal/interest? I'm not so into sex. Most of the time when I'm aroused, it's just physical and arbitrary. It makes me uncomfortable, cringy and anxious. Gross even. I almost see these more as acceptable, if not desirable characteristics, rather than adverse effects. 

 

More than anything I just want to be more feminine. I don't... agree with this body. I feel ugly and gross and not right at all in it. And the older I get, the more beastly my skin around becomes. 

[Jani]

8 hours ago, Beverly said:

A side effect of HRT is reduced erectile function, reduction in size, and ability to climax.

Generally speaking, yes function will eventually be reduced or eliminated.  Some have reported that size changes after awhile.  

[ToniTone]

Thank you all! I'm quite certain I need this, nay I'm very motivated and desire to pursue it. 

 

I just wonder if maybe I'm placing too much importance on it. Like, I consider myself androgynous, so shouldn't I be able to be content with my body? I'm not. I feel more feminine inside, maybe transfeminine is more correct? I don't desire to surgically transition tho. I just want to be more shapely and soft and less toxically hormonal, feminine like I feel I'm meant to be. Not the beast I continue to devolve into...