Admittedly angry

[Beatrice Crawford]

I told my family I've been dealing with odd feelings for a very very long time, some of my earliest memories in fact.  Suddenly they all became expert therapist, brilliant psychologist, perfect theologists, and interested in my existence.  I'm not saying they're bad people but my Aunts and uncles and even grandparents had lifes that only included me on holidays.  This wasn't an issue because people have separate lives but it drives me up the wall that all of a sudden I'm the center of attention.  Like I didn't change at all, nothing should be different and yet everything is 

My Mom is dealing with it in her own way.

My dad thinks it's the water supply (thank you for that Alex).

But everyone else makes this the drama to thrive on.

I thought being honest about my feelings would make me feel better but now I feel like a freak.

 

[Charlize]

Perhaps we do become a focus of attention when we first come out.  I know that was an issue for me.  That became an issue for me everywhere i went.  My home town and everyone i knew had questions, issues or feeling of support or shock they had to express.  It was difficult at best but seemingly part of the process.  Time has passed and others have simply accepted the change and gone on with their lives. 

Time will be your best friend soon. Hang in there.

Your not alone.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Cyndee]

Family members will have their own ideas of what you are and what you should be. It's up to you to simply be consistent and honest, this process takes time (sometimes a lot). The drama will subside eventually, many ques of what happens next will be up to you, it's a long road, I hope things smooth out for you

 

Hugs

 

Cyndee -

[Kirsten]

Being the center of attention is part of transitioning for sure. If not from friends family and classmates/coworkers, then from the public. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has questions. And unless you’re transgender it’s pretty difficult to understand what we go through. I doubt it helps, but I’ve been dealing with all of that as well. As many of us do. Family is tough because we all grow up hearing how blood is thicker than water. Well I can tell you that is just not true. Your personal connections to the people in your life are what’s “thick”. Transition will show you who truly cares. And sometimes that will hurt. 

Keep your head up. It may be hard at times, even painful, but it’s worth every bump and bruise you’ll end up with. 

[Raven1981]

Well said Kirsten.  Like how everyone has said in here, that we can be the person that sits in the shadows and being all quiet that no one ever talks to but maybe ask how are we doing till we actually come out and then we become the center of attention that is either in a good way or bad way.  Usually time will tell.  Then there is family that usually is the hardest and like how Kirsten said that we have heard blood is thicker than water or my favorite as well is your family and family sticks close together.  But when you come out, you then start to realize that family tends to have a two face and most family will kick you to the curb or try to say you are wrong for doing this and stop you.  There is alot of stuff that usually happens with coming out to family.  Sorry for the rants here, I have had the loss of family no longer being in contact with me or even there for me.  It all happens to us all.

 

 

[VickySGV]

Dunning / Kruger  Effect -- People who know very little think they are experts in a field. 

 

In regard to being Trans it is very frustrating to have that happen about our lives.  Having family or other close Cis people all of a sudden "know" more than any of our therapists or our Trans associates becomes a total pain in the fanny very quickly.  Ten years into my Transition I have an adult daughter who at 45 and no degree in Psychology still needs to tell me what some "book she just read" says, and it is never a book by a Trans person.  SIGH.  For the most part it will pass for you in a very long seeming year or two.  In the mean time I would suggest finding a local support group whom you can adopt as a Chosen Family and let the others talk to each other to their heart's content.

[Beatrice Crawford]

I appreciate the support and comments.

That said, blood is thicker than water is a shortened version of the statement, "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

Thought y'all might find this of interest.

[Jani]

I didn't know that but I can see where it came from!  Interesting.

[MelissaAndProudOfIt]

Hi all, here here....i have to admit it so many of these articles here too also reflect aspects of my disclosure.  I remember breaking the revelation of my coming out to my family and my mum and dad, it eas my dad that gave me the surprise response in saying finally with a smile followrd he was absolutelly fine about it.  My mum couldn't understand me and niether of my nearest in age brothets cpuld either.  My oldest brother said thats ok got myself a sister now smiled and was fine with it...a real surprise that was.  He also said...that might explain things he had noticed about my habits and personality and posture traits that he had noticed.  He knows i straight,  but in my person i had a female locked in me...god i never knew how observant he was...i replied well shes not locked up any longer...  

 

Warm Regards

 

Melissa

[Beatrice Crawford]

On 3/7/2019 at 10:26 PM, MelissaAndProudOfIt said:

Hi all, here here....i have to admit it so many of these articles here too also reflect aspects of my disclosure.  I remember breaking the revelation of my coming out to my family and my mum and dad, it eas my dad that gave me the surprise response in saying finally with a smile followrd he was absolutelly fine about it.  My mum couldn't understand me and niether of my nearest in age brothets cpuld either.  My oldest brother said thats ok got myself a sister now smiled and was fine with it...a real surprise that was.  He also said...that might explain things he had noticed about my habits and personality and posture traits that he had noticed.  He knows i straight,  but in my person i had a female locked in me...god i never knew how observant he was...i replied well shes not locked up any longer...  

 

Warm Regards

 

Melissa

I wish I had a dad like that he thinks the government is poisoning the water to make people gay or in the case of trans people, "advanced gay."

[VickySGV]

Just now, Beatrice Crawford said:

, "advanced gay."

 

I don't identify as gay, and certainly not ADVANCED?  I have never heard of Fluoride in the water as a cause yet either.  Something new every day. !!

 

[Beatrice Crawford]

Just now, VickySGV said:

 

I don't identify as gay, and certainly not ADVANCED?  I have never heard of Fluoride in the water as a cause yet either.  Something new every day. !!

 

I also don't identity as gay in anyway, my dad watches Alex Jones and then adds his own stuff to it. Part of me loves his conspiracy theories and another part hates then with a huge passion.  Like why can't I just be me without some poisoning being involved

[VickySGV]

3 hours ago, Beatrice Crawford said:

Like why can't I just be me without some poisoning being involved

 

This is a question that all of us have to answer to some degree. I am one of those really strange older people whose mind is flexible enough to not be set in old simple ideas with easy answers.  There is a major shift in knowledge that I have seen in the last 50 years and I know how it is uncomfortable for some of my peers to see things drummed into us that are just not true although they are what people believed for centuries.  It makes people uncomfortable, and instead of reading stuff that is a little hard to understand, they look for someone or something to blame, and the Conspiracy stuff is a way to explain it for them.   SIGH!!

[Charlize]

I sometimes hear folks mention some drug their mother took during pregnancy  or some other abnormality during early childhood as a cause of their trans.  Something in the water?........maybe.  It is enough for me to accept myself as i am.  Knowing "why" seems more a justification than an attempt to accept.   I guess those we love also look for a cause to ease guilt or discomfort for an "abnormality".  I wish we could find a way towards a realization that we are not abnormal.  We are simply ourselves.  Trans folks have existed in society long before todays medications or public water supplies.

Different, yes......abnormal no.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Josie Beth]

The problem with Alex Jones is that if you really examine the things that he says it’s just a bunch of repetitive unfocused ramblings that have just enough truth in them or what people perceive as truth to draw the lazy thinkers in. Sure he sells decent health products but there’s similar products other places and the information he blabs about is better documented and more in depth other places so there’s no real value in his all day programs. It’s fluff pieces bookended by ads to sell stuff. The hook is fear and division. I would much rather get in depth information from real thinkers who offer real solutions instead of some Yosemite Sam approach to revolution. The sad part is that many people I have run into the last several years have latched on to his show and they do nothing but listen to or watch the show. Then they used to (before I got completely away from them) bombard me with all this simple minded surface garbage I was already aware of. It’s like talking to someone who just realized the sky was blue because they were never paying attention. But then they throw in something far fetched with no evidence. I’m completely over the mental strain of trying to deal with people like that. I’m more into learning something tangible and helpful.

[Beatrice Crawford]

16 hours ago, Charlize said:

   I guess those we love also look for a cause to ease guilt or discomfort for an "abnormality". 

I could see that in my dad, his conspiracies hurt me a little but nothing hurts more than people telling me of the "Thorn in Paul's side"

That Thorn is my biggest obstacle to feeling like I'm not a freak in their eyes

[VickySGV]

Old Paul was a bit of a whiner on that subject.  His "thorn" today is suspected to be homosexuality.   It is not proven by any means, but other events point that way.  Sadly, they will quote that sort of thing because THEY feel ashamed and think they are to blame.  As for Paul, there is much left unsaid about what really happened to his thorn. 

 

The one thing they are sort of right about is that you do have a good life to live, and it may be with them thinking you are a freak. but as some of my salty old time friends say it, "What they think is none of your business in the long run.