Pregnancy...?

[killjoyaiden]

I'm juggling the thought of me possibly being pregnant when I'm older.. but is this something transmen feel? Is it okay for me to kind of want to experience pregnancy? I just feel like it's something amazing that my body is able to do, and I may want to experience it... I don't know.. Is this weird? Does this make me "less trans"? I want to feel that connection to the child that a "host" has.. I want to feel that unconditional love before I've even seen the child.. I want to experience that. I just am iffy about the estrogen levels and the pain and suffering that comes along with pregnancy, but it's something I'd be willing to sacrifice for because childbirth is such an amazing thing. 

Thoughts?

[Taylor]

I can't speak for everybody, though I feel its perfectly natural for people to want to be able to have/make a family, regardless of how they identify. I know I personally would love to some day. I've had some close friends who have gotten pregnant, and seeing the sheer joy they experienced during and after the pregnancy, and I'd like it too. Though I am AMAB, so perhaps I'm not the most relatable.

 

That said, I don't think its weird for you to be having these thoughts/feelings. I am sure many others have the same. Though I feel the important question you need to ask yourself, is does it make you any less you. You know yourself.

Hope it helps.

[Dev]

I know a trans man who stopped hormones for long enough to carry a baby.  It's not unheard of, and I doubt anyone would look at you sideways.

[DeeDee]

Wow @killjoyaiden - that is a BIG topic to be juggling with! 

As someone who has only ever experienced childbirth from the other side it is still the most tiring, wonderful, bizarre, amazing experience you can ever go through - I lost roughly a week either side of my children being born, it is such a rollercoaster of a time, both were 4 weeks early, both were in SCBU immediately after birth and both hurt my wife ALOT and caused her to be hospitalised for just over a month each time during her pregnancy. If I could have carried the children to term I would have - even as a man. I loved them unconditionally from the moment the tests were positive - even the one we lost ? though that was a pain that I could not physically go through and so only had a very limited understanding of.

 

I have to say that I doubt very much that this makes you less trans - simply appreciative of the uniqueness of the gift. Which also comes with hair loss, dental issues, nausea, mild dementia, erratic mood swings, swelling and various other side effects not listed in the small print...or celebrated at baby showers!  I'd still do it now if I could though with the right equipment and the right partner.

[heyim_finn]

It' definitely something that if you want to do, then you should do it. No one can stop you and honestly I don't think many people would care that much. Everything is slowly getting better for us trans people. There are a good bit of people that do it and are ok with it and that's fine, you do you. 

Personally, I, being ace, have no desire to every be pregnant, and I don't know if I want kids. But I think at some point I'll adopt. But again that's just me. Don't let anyone stop you if you want to experience that, it is an amazing thing that the human body can do

[killjoyaiden]

I've always said that adoption is THE way to go, but I just want that experience that comes with bearing a child. The biological child will never get more love from me than my other kids, because adopted or biological; they're still my kids. I don't know if this sounds crazy, but I'm only 15 and I don't even know how many kids I'll have or what their genders will be or anything like that, but I already feel that unconditional love for them, because I know that they're in the universe somewhere. Their souls are being prepared to be put on this Earth, and their fate is to be my child. I don't know, that may sound crazy, but I just already love my future kids, even if I have no idea who they'll be yet.

[EliAtkins]

Pregnancy is amazing and terrifying and so much more.  When I was pregnant with my son, it was probably the only time in my life I really felt like a woman.  I was completely terrified of getting pregnant in the first place and even though it was planned, I was terrified of what the experience would bring, but it ended up being one of the most amazing experiences of my life!  There are some incredibly beautiful moments and some that are just plain freaky.

 

And you do not sound crazy.  You sound like someone who wants to become a parent and will someday.  I also do not think it is strange for you to feel as you do about wanting to experience pregnancy.  If you have any questions about it, feel free to message me and I'd be happy to share my experiences with you!

 

Although, I do caution you to do your research on this and figure out how it would fit into your timeline for transition.  This is an experience that will change your life beyond just becoming a parent.  I don't know what your transition timeline is or how soon you plan on having kids, but it's impossible to know if this will change between now and whenever you're ready for to have kids, but not all insurance companies will cover pregnancy/childbirth expenses for male patients.  Also, if you're working when you get pregnant, unless you quit your job entirely, you'll need to address the issue of maternity/paternity leave with your employer.  This may be something to discuss with them during the hiring process.  Also, there is no privacy when you're pregnant/in labor so the fact that your trans is going to be out there as well with people you barely know: medical professionals, future employers/coworkers, strangers at the grocery store that see you when you're 9 months pregnant and your stomach is the size of a watermelon.  I'm not trying to scare you or discourage you in any way, but these are some things that you'll need to be prepared to deal with.

 

Definitely do whatever feels right for you no matter what anyone else says!

[Kole Rickard]

Aiden, I want kids. Like super bad, but i'm not sure about ME getting pregnant. That just terrifies me to death and is not in my interest. If you want to proceed with this option than that's great! Its very brave as well. For one who feels super masculine to have the want of being pregnant. You want to be very close with your child, you want to be biologically related. (If we're not partners in the future) You might need to use a doner or if your partner is physically male, that's great too! Its your body and you have complete control of it. I think it's great you're thinking of this and taking it so serious. Me on the other hand, refuse to give birth... Sigh. I agree that it is an amazing thing, too amazing for me to go through. Though you are 15 and there are many years apart from pregnancy (if you're going to wait) so you might change your mind here and there. I know I will do the same, but my thought about myself being pregnant is very strict. I do know someone personally who has stopped T to give birth. It went very well and they're continuing to live as a man now as well. <3