Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Beginning my transition journey


Harrietta

Recommended Posts

Hi everyone,

I'm having a really difficult time with my decision to transition (MTF). It's the social implications of being different, and the fear of losing friends, and some family members care and support. So far I have only told my aunty. I know my dad won't approve, and my mum is going to take it pretty badly, I imagine. I'm seeking counselling atm, and imagine I'll be in stage 2 in due time. 

I have gay friends, but haven't found much support from many of them on this issue I'm facing. I feel like I'm a bit lost, and need to connect with others who are transgender. I'm hoping to connect with members here who're able to relate to my situation. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Harrietta,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

It is scary. You not alone anymore now. We are here! Join in the conversation.

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf ??

Link to comment

Hi Timber Wolf,

Thankyou, I'm happy I've made it this far - as I was doubting myself and my decision to go through the transition process. 

 

I'm so glad to have found some support! 

 

Sending my love, and hugging you back,

? Harrietta

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hello Harrietta,  Welcome.  The social implications are difficult at first, its no lie.  But once you get comfortable in your own "skin" it gets easier.  You will find friends that support and care for you.  Hopefully you should be able to find others in Melbourne.  Unfortunately there are gay people that don't understand as this is a foreign concept to them too, as it is for cis people.  Parents are a totally different issue as we have a unique relationship and attachment to them.  But you have to live your life and if need be keep them at arm's length in order to protect yourself.  

 

Please join in the talk.  

Jani

Link to comment

Hi Jani,

Thank you for your welcoming. I visited the doctor today, and have another appointment tomorrow. It's for the counseling process(es). There may be more than two counselors involved because of my mental health issues. On the way to the doctors I came out to a female friend of mine who I thought wouldn't care to learn about my struggle. I was wrong. She offered her love and support as though nothing had changed. I am relieved to know she's there for me, and was delighted when she told me she would help me makeup, and my appearance options, although we live a long way from one another, so this isn't possible at the moment. My parents can be narcissistic in some extreme ways, and I'm prepared to distance myself from them, as I have done in the past, however I'd rather have them in my life in a meaningful way - at least my mother.

 

See you in the forums, Jani

Harrietta.  

Link to comment
  • Admin

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Harrietta.  I hope things work out for  you as far as far as finding a therapist.   Please feel free to ask any questions.  We'll be glad to help.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

Hi Carolyn Marie,

Thanks for the welcoming, HUGS back at ya! I've been using google for simple questions but I'll ask in the forums for sure on issues etc. 

 

Harrietta.

Link to comment

Hi everyone, 

I've come to a sort of realisation that I'm not genderqueer at all. I had some time with a friend of mine who heard me out on my issues with becoming a woman, and discovered through my own reasoning, that I only wish I were born female, and that becoming one at this time in my life isn't for me.

 

Although this issue is disheartening it also gives me some confidence in being myself. I don't dislike being male which I feel some level of dysphoria over when I think of what being a woman would have to offer, and all the while I'm most attracted to women - in fact my sexual activities with my male counterparts are usually driven by my desire to make them happy. TMI, lol.

 

I know I'm bi-romantic but this doesn't include sexual attraction, although in a way, I think it is to some extent. All these issues can be really confusing, and difficult to navigate for anyone who isn't able to label them (ie, doesn't have the vocabulary to put them into context), and so I'm more than happy to stick around and be a part of the community as an ally, if that's suitable. 

 

All the best to one and all,

Harrietta

Link to comment

Hi Harrietta,

Just find what makes you happy and do that at all costs. Authenticity starts with a period of questioning and self discovery. Wherever this leads for you, at the end of the day, have no regrets.

Best wishes,

Beverly 

Link to comment

Thanks Beverly,

I'm not feeling disconnected with my authentic self (great advice, btw) I'm more feeling as though I'm unable to be completely myself. I feel sad that I'm not a woman, but also feel I couldn't really become one either, at least not to the extent I'd want to be. I need counselling, but can't get in to see them for another month. 

 

Feeling stiffled,

 

Harrietta

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
On 3/28/2019 at 10:21 PM, Harrietta said:

I need counselling, but can't get in to see them for another month. 

I know it seems like a long time but it will pass quickly.  Use the time to read and consider your future and what possibilities you might entertain going forward.  

 

Hugs, Jani

Link to comment

Hi Jani, 

I managed to get in to see a private counselor yesterday, and I'm seeing him again next week. He's pretty good, and comes recommended by family who I'm living with. He wants me to weigh the pros and cons up during our week in leiu. I know he wants me to come to this sort of conclusion about whether transitioning is right for me, however I'm not sure whether a pros and cons list is really the sort of summary that's going to be useful, especially where emotions are involved, I'm not sure whether they're all similarly quantifiable in such an assessment. Thanks for your encouragement Jani,

Harrietta

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Harrietta you might not come to a determination in a week.  The idea of talking to a therapist (IMO) is to engage in a conversation where questions are asked and through thoughtful discussion you arrive at a conclusion.  If you are someone who is questioning your gender, you will need to decide how "far you need to go" to satisfy the dysphoria.  For some it mean complete transition, and for others its dressing and maybe changing some mannerisms.  Once you get over the fear of change you will find this to be an easier decision.  Fear is a powerful motivator (or anti-motivator).  

 

I don't believe there is a "list" that you could access to review and check off items to arrive at a conclusion.  As you note when emotions are involved there are not any quantifiable data points.  This is a highly personal choice about your life. You just need to be honest and consider what you need to be happy.  But remember every path will have stones to trip over.  

 

Hugs, Jani

Link to comment

Thanks Jani,

Yes, I have some dysphoria and don't know how to deal with them. Also, I haven't made much progress with my pros and cons. Last night I got dressed up and tried out some nail polish with my then bf  -  we had a bit of a dispute this morning so we're 'taking a break,' something I wanted because of the way he spoke to me. It was a bit of a relief tbh, because I was finding that I was dysphoria about being with him. Lol. 

Thanks for confirming with me on the emotional side of this issue, and I'll keep you all posted on any progress I make. ie, at the moment, I'm thinking transitioning isn't right for me, as I'm not into guys as much as girls. A con I came to recognize is the way I might struggle to find other gay women, or basically not being passable enough to be with the good-looking girls I come across in my daily adventures.

I think things would be different, after the transition. Any thoughts?

 

Hugs, Harrietta

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
7 hours ago, Harrietta said:

as I'm not into guys as much as girls.

Just remember transitioning is about gender, not sexuality.  That is who you identify as, rather than who you love.  These are two differing concepts. 

 

If you are looking at building a future only with "good looking girls" you are not being honest about life.  We are all beautiful in our own ways.  Beauty is much more than skin deep so you need to try to be the best you can, and focus on finding a compatible mate (a complete person).  Now is not the time to worry about not being passable.  Changes happen that may surprise you.  

 

Jani 

 

Link to comment

Thank you Jani,

I'm also afraid of how my mother will take the news. I don't want to disappoint her either.

 

Best wishes,

Harrietta

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Unfortunately this may happen as I am sure she has her notions of who you are and what you represent to her.   But if she loves you she will come to understand.  My mother was accepting of me yet nervous about my safety.  In the interim she's seen I do all right.  My dad struggles but thats to be understood at his age.  I go with the flow with him while maintaining my personality and persona.  All seems to be well.  You can do well too.

 

Peace, Jani 

Link to comment

I kinda like you, somewhere in the middle.

 

Welcome.  Glad to have you here.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Harrietta, welcome glad to see your fro. Melbourne, too. I am struggling with ups and downs like yourself. 

Happy to chat and share if that would help. 

Makayla. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   0 Members, 0 Anonymous, 123 Guests (See full list)

    • There are no registered users currently online
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,942
    • Most Online
      8,356

    taxicab
    Newest Member
    taxicab
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
    • Susan R
      The experience was the same for me @April Marie. I slept much deeper and I woke up each morning feeling so much more restful sleeping with forms solidly in place. For me, wearing breast forms at night started when before I was a teenager. I had no access up to modern breast forms and certainly no way to buy mastectomy bras back then. I wore a basic bra my mom had put in a donation box and two pairs of soft cotton socks. I have some crazy memories of things I did in my youth to combat my GD but regardless, these makeshift concoctions helped me work through it all.   All My Best, Susan R🌷
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Colorado isn't exactly a Republican place, and won't become one anytime soon.  I think those folks might be better off not spending their time playing Don Quixote.    We certainly have our share of California "refugees" moving into where I live, so I wouldn't be surprised to start seeing Coloradans too.  I suspect the trend over the next few years will see the blue areas getting more blue and the red areas getting more red as anybody who can relocate tries to find a place where they fit better.   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, at least it'll be a place some folks could choose.  Options are a good thing.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      My family would have gobbled that jar up in a minute or two.  When we do have pickled herring, its usually for Christmas.  I didn't grow up with that particular dish, but I grew up in a Greek family so I like just about any kind of fish if I can get it.  However, ocean fish and freshwater fish taste so different.  We usually have more catfish and tilapia to eat than anything else.    What I can't quite get used to is the tons of cabbage my GF insists on eating.  When you live with a Russian, there is always cabbage soup.  Always.  When I first moved in with her, breakfast was "shchi" for soup and either bread or "kasha" which is a bowl of boiled buckwheat with butter and salt.  Those dishes can be made in any number of ways, some are better than others.  In the winter, it can even be salty and sour like kraut.  Not exactly sauerkraut, but packed in tubs with vinegar and salt so it keeps partially for the winter.  But I drew the line when the cabbage soup included pieces of fried snake one day.  😆
    • Ashley0616
      Good evening to you as well @Mmindy   That is awesome that you have support from her side. My dad has communicated with me once and that was because he was forced to. His new wife wanted to spend time with my kids. He hated me so much he was in the process of taking my rights away as a parent to my two boys. He was talking to a lawyer and I called him out on it. I don't love him at all. I'll respect him because I wouldn't be here without him but I wished I had another father. My uncles don't talk to me and unfriended me on Facebook. Almost all cousins except for two are still Facebook friends but they don't give me any support. My mom said she won't support me with that but she has said that she loves me. I have nieces and nephews that are still Facebook friends but they have yet to talk to me. I have one sister that supports me out of three. The other's disrespect me by deadnaming me. They have never called me their sister. I think for them they think it's still a phase. They don't ask questions about me being trans. I have to bring it up and on the look of their faces they don't look comfortable about it. 
    • Mmindy
      Good evening @Ashley0616,   I just got offline with HP tech support trying to get my printer tool box icon locked to my tool bar. This is one of the most important features of my printer that I like because it keeps track of ink, paper, and scanned documents. I'm diffidently not a computer geek.   I'll catch up with the other bookmarks next week. We leave to go home for the Easter Holiday with our families. Saturday with her side, and Sunday with my side. What's odd about that is I'm out to more of her side and they're reluctantly supportive. My side on the other hand are less supportive, and my sister just under me in age will not acknowledge my being there. She will be constantly moving to keep from dealing with me. I'm dead to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...