Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

New Here . . .


Guest Krystyna_Marie

Recommended Posts

Guest Krystyna_Marie

Just wanted to say hello to anyone watching the new boards. I am a 40-yr old cross-dresser, married 15 years, not out to my wife yet. Enjoying being dressed first thing this morning - trying to relax before work. I started dressing up in mom's things when I was about 13-14, went yesterday evening for my first shopping trip for womens clothes and shoes - what a rush!! found some beautiful low black pumps that show a little toe cleavage and make my legs look sexy, I gave myself an amazing thrill by dressing when I got home, and wearing pumps, short skirt, bra, panties and pretty feminine blouse outside my apartment on my back porch to smoke a cigarette, practiced walking in my new shoes so I won't be 'schlepping' around like a man.

Anyway, I'm very glad this forum is here, and that there are so many with similar stories. More later . . .

KM

Link to post
  • Root Admin

Hello Krystyna_Marie,

Welcome to the new forums. Congrats on the first trip out. I bet that gave you a rush you won't forget in a hurry. :D

MaryEllen :)

Link to post
Guest Krystyna_Marie
Hello Krystyna_Marie,

Welcome to the new forums. Congrats on the first trip out. I bet that gave you a rush you won't forget in a hurry. :D

MaryEllen :)

Thank you! I need to get some makeup gear and shop a wig so I can do the whole nine yards here at my apartment. I live away from home, wife and pets (work relocation not yet complete) three nights a week, so this arrangement gives me an enviable amount of freedom to be myself, and to do what I like most - play my music (guitar, bass, keys, drums, composing, recording) and now begin to allow my inner woman to blossom and to be pampered. Very exciting time for me, a little scary and different, but this interest has been inside me for many years, and now I have some time to explore it and have fun. I am so fortunate to have found this community, hopefully others will be using the new boards now - I want to gather tips and inspiration, and hopefully contribute. I'm not ready to do pics yet, but maybe later . . .

Kisses - KM

Link to post
Guest Sally Stone

Krystyna Marie,

Welcome to the wonderful world of crossdressing. You have an enviable situation with your own apartment. I had my own for a year because I was working out of town. I think I dressed nearly every night. Even though I have a loving and accepting wife, the apartment did give me freedom to dress whenever I felt like it. Before the apartment and now afterwards, my wife always lets me dress up whenever I want but with my youngest teenage boy still at home, my time is limited.

I am a rather social crossdresser so I do a great deal out in public. I have a couple of "girlfriends" who enjoy going out as much as I do. I have never been much for the bar scene so most of my social outings involve shopping, dining, theater, and music. I'm always amazed at how accepting people are. Socializing in public has made crossdressing much more fulfilling than it used to be. Hopefully, you can become as comfortable with yourself and with others to take your crossdressing into the social world. Of course, you shouldn't feel pressured to do so, or feel as though you have to go public. Crossdressing is like most activities. You do it to satisfy yourself. So whatever level you choose, just make sure it makes you happy.

I think these forms are a great place to get support and confidence as you explore your feminine side. It is really a terrific way to expand your knowledge base. If ever I can be of any assistance or offer any advise, just say the word.

Hugs,

Sally

Link to post
  • 4 weeks later...
Guest SharleahLynn
Thanks for the warm welcome, seems like I've found a good place here. I'll stay tuned . . .

KM ;)

Sweety, beware of staying tuned. You a person , not a television set . But anyway , welcome to the forums and the chatroom .

SharleahLynn

Link to post

Welcome to the site KrystynaMarie. I'm happy that you enjoyed your venture out. I remember my first time and it was great. It gets better every time, too. This is a great source of information and support. Look forward to future posts.

Gennee

:)

Link to post
Guest Krystyna_Marie

Thanks, Gennee! Dressed up tonight, of course, feeling fine! Getting ready to close on new house, things just crazy here, but having a ball! XOXO

KM

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 59 Guests (See full list)

    • sleepysam
    • Haley W
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      72,446
    • Total Posts
      662,418
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      7,674
    • Most Online
      8,356

    RadicalEmma
    Newest Member
    RadicalEmma
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. CamIsAlive
      CamIsAlive
      (23 years old)
    2. Harper
      Harper
      (14 years old)
    3. JEANETTE
      JEANETTE
    4. Samsara
      Samsara
  • Posts

    • Astrid
      So which instrument(s) do you play? 🎶🙂   Notedly,   Astrid
    • Teri Anne
      I tend to emotionally eat sometimes if I'm feeling down or really bored Since covid and the staying home thing my weight has gotten out of control. There are times I feel guilty for getting so heavy that I just think what the heck and eat anyway.
    • ElizabethStar
      Hi @RadicalEmma. Nice to meet you.
    • Yvonne
      @CallMeKeira @Charlize @KayC @Timber Wolf @Carolyn Marie  Hello and thank you everyone.
    • CallMeKeira
      This is far from comprehensive, so I may append it later. In my heart and mind, my name is Keira. I was born in the summer 27 years ago to decidedly working class, religious, and moderately conservative parents. They married and divorced multiple times, and my siblings and I had a pretty tumultuous upbringing. Between the chaos and extended family drama was a scrawny little runt with tawny brown hair, a minor learning disability, and boundless energy.   But, as I got older, I started feeling different. I got bullied a great deal for a number of things, even by family members. Called a number of slurs and derogatory things, I clung to the company of my mom as often as I could. I grew up listening to LeeAnn Rhimes and the like, and going shopping with her. As puberty really set in, though, I was thrust unceremoniously into the "boy's" role and the world of men. Needless to say, my soft nature lead to a lot more bullying. It was in this time I really started diving into literature, games, and other worlds. I built a refuge in my mind and resolved to hold out for the future, by giving them all what they expected while I hid in a little room in my head.   In that room I stayed locked, only occasionally peaking out. I grew closer with my dad to learn how to "be a man", tried hanging out with my brother's friends, and searched for a male role that I could at least painlessly inhabit (I settled on computer geek). I thought it was painless, anyhow. Turned out to be more like demise by a thousand cuts.   As I stumbled out of high school and through college off and on for several years, the pressure began to build. Some poor choices that in hindsight were me desperately trying to live up to expectations resulted in my first and second attempts at the big "S". Consulting mental health professionals to address my unrelenting depression and anxiety got me so far, until a 20 credit hour course load and a 20 hour a week work schedule led me to voluntarily seek hospitalization. After that, I spent the next year and a half grappling with a misdiagnosis that I only recently got revised. The medication they had me on still works for my general issues, though. I have been embracing the inner me over the past year, and dipping my toes in the water, so to speak. I look forward to have a serious discussion with my therapist soon, as she doesn't specialize in gender issues, though she's otherwise fantastic. This is an abridged version of my life, but I'm here, breaking through.
    • Jandi
      I get this. Seems like most women wear britches these days.  But I just don't want to.  Maybe because I had to most of my life.
    • Mmindy
      @Lee HThis exactly what I was trying to explain to my wife when I first came out to here. I also tried to explain a sliding scale between Male and Female but she refused it and believes it's a Heads or Tails coin. One or the other. Indiana is an Informed Consent State. I'm of the mindset that Gender Therapy isn't a waste of time or money, even if it only confirms what I always have known.   Hugs for everyone,   Mindy🐛🌈🦋
    • Jani
      Hello Emma.  Well, your story wasn't that Radical, at least for us here.  Coming out can be liberating and I hope your story is accepted by those you love.  In many ways our prior male self was there to protect us until this moment.  At times he might have fallen asleep on watch but for the most part I'm sure he did a good job.  Move forward happily.   Cheers, Jani
    • Jani
      I read your post earlier but have come back to talk about these lines.  I don't think the counselor is there to really confirm something we most likely know but to set the stage to help us understand how to deal with it productively.  I knew I was afflicted with something (dysphoria) for years but not how to respond to it.  This is what my therapist helped me with.  I don't think you will be wasting your time, or theirs.  Use the appointments to gain as much benefit as you can.  
    • KathyLauren
      Yes, indeedy!  It didn't take me long on HRT before mine were making the same request.   Fun story... I was part-time, dressing female at home and male out in public.  I was wearing sports bras when out in public to keep the girls from showing, as well as for sensitivity control.  The concert band I was playing in had a big performance coming up, and the uniform was white shirt over black pants.  Well, white shirts are often revealing, so I had to go out and purchase a white T-shirt for the express purpose of concealing my bra!   I made up for it the next month.  By that time, I was out full-time, and newly out to the band.  For the final concert of the season, I was determined not to wear anything that could be construed as male.  I was the only woman in the band in a skirt, but it conformed to the white-over-black uniform!
    • Jandi
      Sometimes they want a bit of protection.
    • CallMeKeira
      I will wipe my eyes now because that hit me hard, and extend a warm welcome to you, Emma. Welcome to this marvelous place!
    • Willow
      Well I was mowing and remowing a portion of my lawn to mulch up pine needles. Ok your are thinking what does that have to do with breasts?  Well, my shirt was rubbing my nipples, particularly the one I hit Saturday.  I had to stop and ask my wife if she had a sports bra I could wear.  That helped me finish.  Boy, I’ve got a lot to learn about these.  I wanted them so now they are telling me all about what I asked for.     Wow!   Willow
    • VickySGV
      Welcome Emma, your story dovetails nicely into the other stories told here and makes you a very real part of what we have here.  Every one of us on the site can empathize with the steps you have gone through so far and will be as helpful as we can to share our journeys of the steps you will be taking.
    • RadicalEmma
      (This isn't what I set out to write, but this is what emerged, so here's a friendly hello to start things off before I delve way too far into my entire self-history. Hello! Thank you for having this space and allowing me to have a place within it.)   So... I've lived nearly four decades on the planet with depression, anxiety, and this innate, nigh-unknowable feeling that something was off. I used to joke about having a highly developed feminine side as a teenager. I didn't realize at the time I may have been trying to push through my own barriers with that jest.   My late 20s and onward, I'd daydream about being "a woman born," not understanding that trans women were women and thus relegating any hope for self-femininity to a future/past life. My depression and anxiety sharpened, developing  panic disorder to add to the fun. Medications were sought for relief and resisted in the same breath, but ultimately surrendered to as an unwanted necessity.    When I turned 30, my birth father decided to take a photo of my mother and I and combine them in photoshop into an amalgam of the two of us. This photo irked me, mocking me with hair I had been losing since 18 and a self I'd denied since my inception. I laughed, good-naturedly at the time, but the murmurs of the tectonic shift coming within were present, had I been willing to pay attention.    Two years ago, I tried to broach the subject with my mother, but quickly dropped that idea when it became apparent that neither of us were in a good place for those sorts of revelations. I retreated and repressed the feelings again.    A month ago, I took a selfie. I played with the available filters and (by chance? Probably not) gender-swapped myself. I was so startled by the girl staring out of the void that I wept... because I had never ever previously liked a photo of or containing myself until that moment and it wasn't even a truly genuine picture, only an algorithm wiping away facial hair, smoothing skin, and adding the almost amber tresses I craved with such ease. Unlike other selfies, that one is still on my phone, my most genuine illusory self ever.    The walls I'd put up had cracked and let so much light in finally that my eyes were beginning to readjust to the possibility that I could still embrace the prisoner of my self, perhaps my truest self... and nourish her from the girl I'd locked up based on the unspoken advice of shame and society... into a powerful woman in her own right.    Last week, I began pulling down these Berlin walls within, fragment by fragment. My therapist. A group of lovely women who had walked the path before me, but who were otherwise unknown to me on Zoom. Some select and trusted friends. My mother. One coworker. Myself. I came out again and again, and I'll continue to come out.    My male self has not always been kind to me, but he has not done with any sort of malice in mind, only ignorance and fear, so I can forgive him and let him set these burdens down soon. He has done what he could in a poor situation with what was at hand, admittedly not much. Still, he acted admirably and hobbled toward his own undoing with as much grace and aplomb as I could hope for, laying down now that I have asked him to... to make way for her truth, her birth, as it were.   When she is strong enough to start walking into this transition, I hope to have the tools ready to allow her to learn to be what I could not on my own... herself... and that she is strong enough to be or become whomever she chooses on the long journey that remains.  
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...