Am i hurting my mother?

[Hellothere]

We went shoe shopping a couple days ago (my shoes were falling apart on my feet) me and my mother were looking around. She asked "do you need sandals?" I dont see the point in more than two shoes, i dont need them. Some people do and they can do whatever they want, but i dont see the point in me having more. I have tennis shows and dress shoes i wear once a month. I declined saying i dont need sandals. I got a "normal girls wear sandals" with a sad face. She knows im trans, im out. I think im hurting her by being like this. I think all that was was a slip up of her inner thoughts. That im failing her and shes trying to be as supportive as possible. She trying but i think its hurting her more than she would ever tell me.

[Kirsten]

Most people I know, men and women, love sandals. I don’t think they’re gender based at all. But like Mary says, a lot of little things can trigger things in the people closest to us. It’s one of those things that can be tough, but we all have to go through it. It’ll get better with time. 

[VickySGV]

When you were born, your mother had not been prepared in any way to think she was the mother of a baby boy since your lower region said "GIRL" in bright lights to her.  She set her dreams and expectations on you being a girl and built those on what she had been prepared to think about.  Physically hurting her, no, but she is going to be grieving the loss of her dreams and expectations and the need for change if she is to love you and support you.as your True Self.  Even you will be grieving your old Girl identity in some ways. but you had been doing this for sometime before you ever let her even suspect you are Trans, and she needs to catch up with you.  This is natural and can be dealt with, although the two of you should be getting some counseling for Grief issues.

 

Back in male days, I did wear sandals though, but they were a more rugged and non girly type of shoe.  LOL.