Came out..

[DrumbeatAlex]

Hey everyone,

 

so i finally came out! :O ..sort-of. I've told people i like girls and prefer gender neutral pronouns.

 

So far everyone has been pretty accepting. I still need to talk to my parents about it properly and that is a bit worrying because I know they have issues with the LGBT+ community. :/ 

Some of the questions i've gotten have made me question what gender really is and if it's just made by society..but i think ulitmately i don't care and it doesn't matter. i feel how i do and i have my preferences, i dont think that's going to change, what caused it doesn't matter to me right now.

[tracy_j]

A big step, but one that will likely make you feel much better in yourself. It's good that people have been accepting. I would not make any presumptions about your parents though. It is much different when family are concerned to society as a whole. Things can be unpredictable but take things gently and try not to raise any barriers.

 

Good luck!

 

Tracy

[Jani]

Good for you Alex! 

10 hours ago, DrumbeatAlex said:

Some of the questions i've gotten have made me question what gender really is and if it's just made by society..but i think ultimately i don't care and it doesn't matter.

This is very good.  Its ok to question your gender and give it serious consideration.  I do think it is a societal construct but its all we have at this time.  But we can live within it safely and according to our own needs.  All my best to you!

 

Jani

[SugarMagnolia]

That's great, Alex! It's a big step and a very important one in living authentically. 

Personally, I find gender to have some roots in physiology/biology/etc, but what we primarily experience is a social construct. That doesn't mean it's not real, though. Social constructs have huge impacts on our lives and the way we experience the world. 

Well done, you!

[DrumbeatAlex]

Thanks for the support everyone. :) 

 

That's good advice Tracy. I should be careful not to raise any barriers. :) I hadn't consciously considered that I might do that, so now I'll be careful not to (raise barriers).

 

On 4/6/2019 at 2:15 AM, Jani said:

 Its ok to question your gender and give it serious consideration.  I do think it is a societal construct but its all we have at this time.  But we can live within it safely and according to our own needs.  

On 4/6/2019 at 4:23 AM, SugarMagnolia said:

Personally, I find gender to have some roots in physiology/biology/etc, but what we primarily experience is a social construct. That doesn't mean it's not real, though. Social constructs have huge impacts on our lives and the way we experience the world. 
 

Wise words from both of you. :) I think i agree that it is largely a social construct (though perhaps not fully, i'm not sure), but as you say..we still have to live with it. it's real atm either way.

 

My parents seem to be reasonably accepting so far. My mum says she will try with the pronouns and my dad hasn't said anything about it at all (which at least isn't a negative response).

I had a bit of a breakdown the day after coming out, after getting questioned by people and lots of unsolicited opinions. I wasn't sure if I should have kept the gender part of my identity to myself. But having recovered from that I think I'm glad I came out and at least now I don't have to hide anything. :) 

 

Let the journey continue!!....

[Charlize]

I remember there being a time after coming out when i felt like i was in a continuous breakdown of sorts.  Every interaction with people i knew was a kind of trial.  I can also say that today those issues are gone and i can simply live as myself.  Of course there are issues.  Being trans*  and alive seems to simply have occasional upsets.

Hang in there!  It only gets better.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize 

[Jani]

Now that you mention that, I remember that I seemed to go through an emotionally fragile period as well where I was always upset or crying.  It will pass.