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I still having major doudts at my transition does that ever go away


Lexi C

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I am on month four and I still don't see any results..I still  find that referring to myself as guy or man. When does all this hair go away, will I ever have my hair grow on my head. I can afford to electrolysis my whole body. I don't have the money for hair transplant or expensive wiggs. I refuse to sale myself again on craigslist and dating site. I hate myself when I did it, but it brought  me money to start this process, ….sorry just rambling, frustration    ..

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Alex, it does take time!  Don't fret.  Each of our bodies is different and in time things will happen. As to seeing yourself as a guy, this is part of the transition phase when we see both genders but default to the old too often it seems.  Have faith.  At six months you might speak with your doctor about the progress you are experiencing.  

 

Hang in there dear.

Jani

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The World Professional Association for Transgender Health's Standards of Care (version 7) has a table of when results of hormones administered by a licensed medical care giver begin given effects and reaching the individual's maximum effect from them.  The beginning times range from 3 to 6 MONTHS, and maximize between 3 to 6 YEARS, and that is as exact as they can get even with new data all the time.  I have been on HRT for 10 years and do have a sense of perspective on it.  I am what I am going to be by now, and am fine with it. Day by day, one pill at a time or week by week, one shot or patch at a time is the only way it works.  Trying to hurry it, will most likely hurry the date of your funeral and shorten the length of time you have to enjoy life. 

 

For hair, you are looking at 3 years for it to reach both female quantity and texture although you may experience some new growth even now, but it will be slow growing out and needs good care.  Hair has four stages to it growth cycle, one of which is dormancy when it is not growing, the follicle sleeping if you will.  When the follicle wakes up to Estrogen it will produce a female hair.  The E can awaken follicles that T had put into a virtual coma, but not ones actually killed.

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thanks ladies for reach out...I don't if I have 3yrs in me..but day at a time..fingers cross thanks again

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Hello Alex

 

I am like you with wanting it to hurry up, but then the rational side of my brain kicks in and tells me to just sit back and enjoy the ride.  I even have thoughts on self cutting / removing my birth defect that I just want it to have it gone and wanting it to rush through, but then I just end up sitting back.  Like how Vicky said, life is too short and I know that all too well with being a cancer survivor and having a second chance in life myself.

 

For example on myself, it took 6 months and 2x times body shaving to then see that my body hair has either gone away or disappeared.  My legs and arms I now have the light thin hair and my chest and back is like 100% gone.  As for my face, that it something I am working on with electrolysis.  I am also working on laser down by my birth defect to start that hair removal for GCS.

 

For the hair on top of your head, it will take years.  Myself, I am taking good care of my hair, but my hair grows extra slow since I have very thick curly hair and my hair has to grow in curls so it still looks short.

 

Hope that helps

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This is a slow and difficult process. There are no shortcuts. And the older you are when you start, the longer it takes to see validating results I think. It is astronomically expensive. And it sucks a lot. And honestly I think it sucks at times now 11 months in more than it did at 3 months. Or 1 month. Or anytime before. Your mind changes well before your body and dysphoria for me kicks in hard some days. Whereas it used to be just a simple disgust for myself. Now I am happy and excited to feel like myself. But that mirror really likes to remind me that I’m still “a youngin” when it comes to my transition. And in comparison you’re an infant. Lol. So you have to find that calm. Find your peace. Find your beacon that keeps you moving forward. And talk out all the negatives as they come. One thing is for sure nobody will EVER say this is easy. Cause it isn’t. Maybe if you started at 10 yrs old, but even then it’s probably still difficult. 

 

Prepare yourself for a long road of crap. Cause that’s what’s coming. But the bonuses are this. First you’ll love yourself and be happy. And second it’s an unforgettable journey that is really worth its weight in gold. Even if it does suck along the way. 

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Sorry, you're having a tough time, Alex. ?

Just remember that the "3 years" you mentioned isn't 3 years with nothing good happening. It's not life as usual and then all of a sudden everything happens at once. You have multiple steps you can take and with each one something in your life will feel a little more right. 

For what it's worth, my advice would be to figure out what's bothering you the most right now and come up with a plan to make it better. You'll still have things that bother you, but at least you'll feel like you're working on the most important thing. It's hard to be patient sometimes, but you can do this!

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I’m new to HRT as well, and i try to keep perspective of it, I’m happy I’m doing it but it is introducing a powerful chemical into your body. I notice it magnify many things positive and negative and sometimes I seem to lose sight of the fact it will have those affects. From reading your post I say find the positive, what’s going good like not having to use dating sites etc for things you don’t like. I started meditating a lot more on the changes I want to see positive focus, if nothing else it helps me relax and accept what changes will happen in time...

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"Many thanks, babe." "No problem, Big Guy." "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about exercise.  Karate in particular."  He pronounced it ka-ra-tay. "I am a second Dan black belt and there is a certain obligation there to teach other people." "Kara-tay? I don't know." "A friend of mine runs a dojo here and needs my help. He talked to me already.  Tuesday and Thursday night and Saturday mornings." "Oh.  So you will be there then." She looked disappointed. "I'm hoping you will be there." "Sounds dangerous.  But I could use the exercise." "And self-defense would be good. It might help." "It might. Huh.  Saturday morning?" "8 AM I need to be there. Classes run until noon. I don't need to be there the whole time." "Is there an intro class or anything?" "Yes. 10 to 11." "How about if I try that."  She was not very enthusiastic.  Punches and kicks and stuff.   Saturday morning they arrived together.  She wanted to watch the Green Belt class that met then just to see what she was in for. Sensei Mark came to the front of the room, before the big American and Japanese flags. Between them was a picture.  "I am honored to introduce to you Sensei Bob.  He is a second Dan black belt.  He has actually beaten me in tournaments.  I have known him through tournaments.  You will listen to him as you listen to me.   Sensei Bob, take the class. The two sensei bowed to each other.  Sensei Bob pointed out that Sensei Mark had beaten him, as well. Taylor was sort of standing against the back wall, scrunched up, a mouse in her crisp new beltless gi.  Her t-shirt was off white underneath it and she was hoping no one would notice. "I am Sensei Mark. You are Taylor." "Yes, sensei!" she stood at attention and shouted it. He laughed.  "This is not Cobra Kai and we are not in a Karate Kind movie.  You do that here only between bows.  Bob tells me you are a complete beginner." "That is an understatement." "Here, let me fix your gi."  She had it on a little incorrectly.  She drew back. 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The class moved into sparring, breaking into twos and practicing moves against each other.  Bob was moving among the pairs, adjusting positions of hands, hips, feet.  Taylor was unsure about someone touching her like that, her hips particularly.    The green belt class ended as new students came in for the beginners' class. Down at the other end the brown belt class began.  The room was large enough you could do two classes at the same time.   The other beginners, nervous, lined up at Margie's table.  People got into gis, the men in their big area and only woman in the little restroom that was for them.   Sensei Mark greeted them and showed them where to stand: on the little x's on the floor. He explained the School Code.  They would recite it at the beginning of class and they needed to memorize it for the white belt test, at which time they would, of course, receive a white belt. 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