Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Sign in to follow this  
Hellothere

'The only girl'

Recommended Posts

Hellothere

I find myself constantly being singled out as the only girl. Only girl in the french horn section, "arent you so lucky to have a daughter, and so on. Even reverse, today, i was at a competition. We walk into the room and one judge goes "ALMOST GIRL POWER!!" And then chuckled at my lone male team mate (usually 3 of us but 1 was away).

i cant correct them, im not out to almost anyone. My parents and two close friends. Heck my parents would be pissed if i did, when i came out i was told not to tell a tone of people. They have their reason, im not exactly surrounded by supportive people school, home area, even state (i live in the south). But still, it get me all twisted up on the inside. Its like breaking a bone but not being able to fix it. Is there any way (mentally) to help ease the pain? 

 

Share this post


Link to post
VickySGV

I am sorry to say that for now, there is not really much since it is not safe for you to come out fully.  You certainly have us here, and you would not be the first person where we were their only "out" time for a long stretch of time, but we do hear success stories down the line from them.  When it hits me that I have been in some stage of Transition longer than you have been alive and all the times I thought the Dysphoria would never end in those years, all I can really do is say that if you take life one day at a time they do add up and some are a lot of fun and happiness, 

Share this post


Link to post
EliAtkins

I like to do a lot of writing when I feel stressed about something, whether it's poetry, music, a journal or blog of some kind or even letters to people (ones I never have any intention of sending).  Writing can be very therapeutic and a great way to just get it all out.  I actually did a post on here earlier kind of going through what's been going on with me lately and I honestly can't even tell you how good I felt after just having gotten it all out.

Share this post


Link to post
Timber Wolf

Perhaps the best thing I can say is that tomorrow can be better than today. I have found that with time it gets easier as I get more confident in who and what I am. In the meantime, you're not alone. We are always here.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf 🐺🐾

Share this post


Link to post
Charlize

Perhaps the worse thing that happened to me was when i was sent to an all male school.  That was years ago when the whole country was much less accepting than the south today.  There was no popular knowledge of even the possibility of gender issues or change.  My parents had seen my feelings and did everything possible to make me "man up".

  I'm glad you are out to your parents and some friends.  That alone is a great step.

I think we all have to accept the time and difficulties we face.  As Timber Wolf mentioned it gets better with time.  Glad you're here.  We can support each other as no-one else can.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 17 Guests (See full list)

    • Jocelyn
    • Willa
    • SaraAW
    • Snow Princess Sophie
    • Carolyn Marie
  • Who Was Online

    95 Users were Online in the Last 48 Hours
    • Jocelyn
    • Willa
    • SaraAW
    • MaryEllen
    • Snow Princess Sophie
    • Carolyn Marie
    • MicahKj
    • Cyndee
    • Janeshannon
    • Lightbrite
    • MaryMary
    • Kirsten
    • vannaaa
    • Gregory
    • Ned
    • DeeDee
    • Amy LeBlanc
    • Kelva
    • Michelle F
    • Jani
    • Sharon Aml
    • VickySGV
    • Rowan
    • EvanC
    • MomofSprinter
    • D.Grey
    • Elyssia
    • Ronin82
    • Naomi Knowles
    • KymmieL
    • KC1
    • Nina B
    • Ashlee
    • Sandra6sandy9sand
    • ToniTone
    • Anyatimenow
    • michelle_kitten
    • Hellothere
    • gaynoodle76
    • Josie Beth
    • Alisa
    • Petra Jane
    • K80Lately
    • EliAtkins
    • Dino
    • tracy_j
    • Charlize
    • Jen
    • Willow
    • QueenClara
    • Finley
    • JJ
    • LittleRed
    • BrandiBri
    • RithiaAllen
    • Timber Wolf
    • DrumbeatAlex
    • Janae
    • Lorry
    • Clara84
    • Beatrice Crawford
    • LouiseRose1954
    • Mickey
    • Elias2401
    • HeatherCristina
    • Jessica27
    • Alex C
    • Sakura
    • Susan
    • roman
    • Erika_E
    • Harrietta
    • Miss Julia
    • Fimdir
    • Jennifer T
    • L0gan
    • Makayla2019
    • SugarMagnolia
    • 1unar3clipse
    • stobart2019
    • Terry
    • TheGinger
    • EvaH2314
    • Sarahnr1
    • Robinl69
    • ChasingSerenity
    • Dororo
    • Gigi
    • jae bear
    • Beth
    • Dakota16
    • figuringitout
    • Kylie
    • Alex94
    • Camie
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      67,852
    • Total Posts
      614,335
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      5,018
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Gregory
    Newest Member
    Gregory
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alyss
      Alyss
      (21 years old)
  • Posts

    • Cyndee
      Music is life, wholeheartedly agree, that's great you are finding new music Jani....   Tonight after dinner, I have a little Steely Dan - Aja (1977) going here....   C -
    • Kelva
      Welcome to the forum! I am newish so I can't say much on where to look first, but I can say everyone is super nice here!   
    • Kelva
      @michelle_kitten Thank you very much for the warm welcome and being so open about your history. I very much appreciate the thoughtful response. I am glad you are finding your way now, and hope to follow in your footsteps, where ever that leads me, too or away from gender related topics. Not sure where I land yet, but your story does feel somewhat familiar. 
    • Jani
      I just finished listening to "Live from Here".  Actually I also watched a piece of it while I was eating as they live stream the show.  I wasn't particularly enamored with the previous iteration "A Praire Home Companion" but I look forward to this show when I can listen.  The host, Chris Thile is an amazing performer and while his genre is Americana there is a wide variety of acts on his show.  I've been exposed to lots of music I never experienced before.  Music is life!  
    • Jani
      Michelle,  This is awesome.  Being able to write what your thoughts are is powerful.  That you did it here is wonderful in that we all get to read it and others may see this is the path for themselves too.   Speaking with others (even on-line) is cathartic.  Thanks for sharing.     Jani
    • Jani
      Hey Toni, sorry for the late reply as I'm sure you were hoping for some "words of wisdom" earlier.  I hope whatever you did worked out well.     It seems like your mother never grew into being a person that looked beyond their own world.   This is sad.  As to whether you love her or not, that is for you to decide but not all families are close so its all right to feel this way.  Love it seems is a two way street.  We give love and hope to get is back.  When we don't its OK to retreat. As you probably know, some people just don't know enough to quit, hoping against hope the other person will change.  As you've seen here, it doesn't always happen.  I'm not saying to cut your mother off but realize the relationship may always be one sided.     If you think telling her would just increase your grief, then don't.   Look out for your own sanity and well being.     Hugs, Jani 
    • Jani
      This is why it is recommended to wait and see what HRT will do before making plans!   I can read that you are happy.  That's what matters!
        Cheers, Jani
    • Jani
      Naomi as to rowing we bought kayaks a few years ago as a means of getting exercise and enjoying nature.  There are a couple of kayak Meet-up's in my area I may look into to get out more than I do.     As to Geocaching, like many activities you can proceed at you own pace.  You don't have to make it into a competition.  Get out when you can, where you can.  Life has a way of getting in the way of things we plan, especially hobbies and diversions.  That they're not critical and we do them at our leisure is important as we are supposed to enjoy these endeavors.  The thing I've learned as I aged is not to take it all too seriously.   Tomorrow is another day, and when its not, it will not matter! 😁   Have fun,  Jani 
    • Naomi Knowles
      @DeeDee I'm weirdly conscious about my own stammer on a personal level, enough for me to assume it's an annoyance even when I know better. Which is incidentally something I'm going to be bringing up with a counsellor, once they get around to me. Because I know it would be fun, and the obstacles between me and it are entirely of my own engineering. Rowing might be pretty good for me health-wise though: I was one of those 'weird people' who actually enjoyed the rowing machine at the gym when I used to go😜   Might start going again when I eventually get over changing room anxiety (and lose the beard permanently).       @Jani Can't say I've heard of geocaching, though looking more closely, there is probably a lot of overlap between travelling. If the geocache website is accurate, there are over 6000 caches in my area alone! Am a little turned off by the need to travel regularly to keep hitting that sweet spot of discovery (I'm fairly limited to where I can get to either by public transport or by my own 2 feet). Got rid of my bike a few months ago; thing made me strangely anxious (weird considering I rode bikes loads as a child). Funnily enough I did think about orienteering at work today, not sure if I'll pursue it or not at this stage. Could be an intriguing work-group activity (we're a small, intimate group). Most of us went up Snowden for my boss's birthday last year, so orienteering wouldn't be THAT big of a leap?     @tracy_j Is it a sort of friendly turn up & paint/craft with a small group of friends sort of situation? Learning to draw in a relaxed environment with the occasional nibbles doesn't sound so bad to be honest.     Apparently there is also quite a few different martial arts studios in my area too that I never noticed. Like the IDEA of something that works cardio, gives me a slightly-greater-than-0% chance to defend myself if caught in a dangerous position where I cannot simply leave quickly, as well as forms social bonds, but need to sit on it for a couple months to see if it's just my own mind running amok with unrealistic fantasies. HRT and months of relatively sedentary life (bar walking to work all the time) has taken a fair bit of strength from me, and at 5'3 (160cm) tall, I'd need maximum passion in order to keep up with my peers in that kind of environment.     What you're all doing is working by the way❤️ There is also professional counselling on the cards in order to properly uproot the cause/s of what ails me, but getting me intrigued in life again is part of the healing process, and to hold onto that flame once it gets going again.
    • KymmieL
      Today was great except for having no power for 10+ hours. Of course our area is not THE area so it was last. Other wise it was 73 light breeze. headed out on the bike a couple times. Fantastic being in the wind again.   Have a great rest of your day all.   Kymmie
    • Ashlee
      Im so excited for the future 
    • Carolyn Marie
      I agree with the above advice, Alex.  It does take time, especially with people who have known you all their lives, or have worked with you for a long time.  Most people are diligent about it, or correct themselves if they goof up.  Some folks struggle with the change.  I had one co-worker who just could not seem to get it right, and I know from his reaction that he was embarrassed as hell when he misgendered me, but could not stop himself.   I did not beat him up about it, as he was doing a pretty good job of beating himself up.  😀  I actually felt embarrassed for him, as he often did this in meetings with others.   If you sense that it isn't malicious, I would try to let it pass, or talk to them gently in private to explain the importance to you of getting the pronouns correct.  If you think the person IS being malicious or cruel, I would have a much more serious and pointed talk to them.    Almost everyone should be OK after a while.  For those who choose not to get with the program, you have options, including excluding them from your life if need be.   Carolyn Marie
    • DeeDee
      😀 Just want to say I love this post. Go Ashlee 💛
    • ToniTone
      So I'm here at my storage with my ma, helping her move some things I'm letting her store here. She went out for a while so here I am. We just got into a big argument, ugh! I don't want to be here now...    I was thinking of taking her for coffee later and coming out to her, but now I'm not so sure...    I for the longest her and I have been the only family there for each other, everyone else is just kinda estranged. But she only really cares for herself. She talks all the time, and never gives me space to just breath. She only cares about things she's interested in. She never listens to me or anyone. Her selfis, self-centeredness is such a put off. I don't think I really love my mother...    I don't even care how she's gonna feel anymore. I was looking forward to this, but  now I'm just crushed. This is about me. But she'll probably just make it about herself.    Whatever, I don't need this right now. I'm leaving... 
    • Ashlee
      Hi! I dont post as much as I used to but I'd like to post an update. Its rught around 8 months now on hrt and things are very very noticeably different. I fill out bras now and pants. Omg the pants! I've actually gone from losing weight to gaining it. I've gained 10+/- lbs in about 6 weeks. Its all in my thighs and booty. I am beyond how happy I am with the changes on hrt. Im getting curves, nig curves. I was going to get a Brazilian butt lift but npw I'm going to hold off and see where I am In a year. I never, ever and I mean never ever want to go back to boy mode or being a boy again. Ever. Hers is a picture of my thighs. I can finally wear a bikini! ❤️❤️❤️
  • Upcoming Events

×