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'The only girl'

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I find myself constantly being singled out as the only girl. Only girl in the french horn section, "arent you so lucky to have a daughter, and so on. Even reverse, today, i was at a competition. We walk into the room and one judge goes "ALMOST GIRL POWER!!" And then chuckled at my lone male team mate (usually 3 of us but 1 was away).

i cant correct them, im not out to almost anyone. My parents and two close friends. Heck my parents would be pissed if i did, when i came out i was told not to tell a tone of people. They have their reason, im not exactly surrounded by supportive people school, home area, even state (i live in the south). But still, it get me all twisted up on the inside. Its like breaking a bone but not being able to fix it. Is there any way (mentally) to help ease the pain? 


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I am sorry to say that for now, there is not really much since it is not safe for you to come out fully.  You certainly have us here, and you would not be the first person where we were their only "out" time for a long stretch of time, but we do hear success stories down the line from them.  When it hits me that I have been in some stage of Transition longer than you have been alive and all the times I thought the Dysphoria would never end in those years, all I can really do is say that if you take life one day at a time they do add up and some are a lot of fun and happiness, 

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I like to do a lot of writing when I feel stressed about something, whether it's poetry, music, a journal or blog of some kind or even letters to people (ones I never have any intention of sending).  Writing can be very therapeutic and a great way to just get it all out.  I actually did a post on here earlier kind of going through what's been going on with me lately and I honestly can't even tell you how good I felt after just having gotten it all out.

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Timber Wolf

Perhaps the best thing I can say is that tomorrow can be better than today. I have found that with time it gets easier as I get more confident in who and what I am. In the meantime, you're not alone. We are always here.


Lots of love,

Timber Wolf 🐺🐾

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Perhaps the worse thing that happened to me was when i was sent to an all male school.  That was years ago when the whole country was much less accepting than the south today.  There was no popular knowledge of even the possibility of gender issues or change.  My parents had seen my feelings and did everything possible to make me "man up".

  I'm glad you are out to your parents and some friends.  That alone is a great step.

I think we all have to accept the time and difficulties we face.  As Timber Wolf mentioned it gets better with time.  Glad you're here.  We can support each other as no-one else can.





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