Boy scouts...

[LittleRed]

So we're a scout family. We've been one for about a year and a half. I have two boys in scouts and a trans son who is in an all girls troop. My kids love scouts but I have a few concerns:

 

1) We want to move our transgender son to an all boys troop - he says he could live with being in an all girls troop but wants to at least give it a try and see if he'll be accepted.

2) I'm a woman but not publicly out. But when I do decide to come out, I'm not sure how that would translate to my involvement as a volunteer (I'm a bit active as a parent volunteer right now).

 

The other parents who participate I would say range from very conservative to liberal - a decent even mix but I would say the the people who have been in it the longest and have the most influence are very conservative.

 

Not sure this would even work out but I figured I'd bring it up for discussion. Anyone have to deal with coming out to the scouts in order to continue to be involved with your youth?

[VickySGV]

As far as the Boy Scouts go, you have a paid professional District Executive who works for your local Council.  Get in touch with that person and ask them how their council handles these things.  I am sad to say that some will be OK and others particularly ones with large Catholic or any remaining LDS units units will be pretty stuffy.  After getting the OFFICIAL word on the Council position, then comes your Sponsoring Institution Head or their appointed representative to be brought on board, if they will let your Transitioned self be in a leader position.  If they are fine, then comes the other parents and their feelings.  It is a bit of a hassle and at the minute iffy.  I had 50 years in Boy Scouts and have the top district honor, and top training recognition (Wood Badge) when I had to quit 10 years ago due to my transitioning. 

On the Girl Scout side, I had 15 years of work with them and am still VERY welcome in their groups, which now includes my granddaughter.  It is a different program, but also satisfying.   I have the Honor Pin for volunteer service in my council from those times. 

[LittleRed]

Vicky, thats an awesome tenure with the scouts. I am actually signed up for a Wood Badge course that starts next weekend. I'm looking forward to it while at the same time dreading it. I think it will be a good experience but I'm going to be serving as John instead of Jennifer for the time being.

 

The troop we're in is chartered by a local Knights of Columbus group and after doing some research, the Knights seem to be very anti-LGBT. Our troop's scout master is pressuring me to become assistant scout master.

 

I'm not ready to come out or to transition as I am struggling with a lot of personal stuff and fears of coming out. However, I'm afraid if I get too involved, it will be rougher down the road.

[VickySGV]

@LittleRed  KofC would not be a good place to transition I am sad to say.  Wood Badge is a training on how to build teams and is useful in daily work environments.  I am still a Fox (one of the traditional Wood Badge patrols) at heart, and now use some of the stuff I learned there in building team work at my LGBT Community Center, I just have to dream up new team building strategies.   You will have fun. 

[LittleRed]

Thats ok. I'll get through this. I know I'll have fun.

[LittleRed]

On 4/16/2019 at 9:58 PM, VickySGV said:

I am still a Fox (one of the traditional Wood Badge patrols) at heart,

 

Vicky,

 

As of this weekend, I am now an Eagle! I completed the first of two weekends for our Woodbadge course and will start working on my ticket soon.

 

I'm really excited but at the same time nervous. The BSA is really an awesome organization that could be better if it didn't have such strong influence by religious charters - but at the same time, it wouldn't exist without the chartering organizations. I hope to get more involved to support my kids who really love being scouts!

 

My plan for now is to just be my normal male self and continue Woodbadge and volunteering for my kids. Not a great thing as far as how it affects transitioning but at the same time, I'm not exactly ready to start my transition. I've only realized I am transgender 9 months ago and am still working out a lot of self-doubt and inner tension with my therapist. So perhaps this won't be a bad thing for this season of life.

 

I have also spoken with the scout master for the troop I am with and explained to him that my transgender son wants to speak with him about joining the all-boys troop. It was an interesting discussion and a healthy one too. He didn't throw any personal opinions about it in the conversation but we both agreed that LGBT issues are going to become a bigger need for the BSA to address and accommodate (inclusiveness) in the near future as more and more of our youth are coming out. He said he would reach out to our district and see what they have to say and also speak with our chartering organization (KoC) and see how that might be received on both ends.

 

Crossing fingers here.

 

Jennifer

[VickySGV]

I do not regret any of the time I spent being with my son in Scouting either.  Hopefully you will learn a little more about the visions of Baden-Powell in founding the movement. Some of his visions would shock many people in the organization in a number of ways.  An example was a meeting that one of my course counselors had been in as a youth where Baden-Powell was speaking and the question of Traditional Scouting came up as to what he meant that to mean.  His reply was that Scouting relied on some old traditions for continuity, but his hope was that the tradition of accepting, embracing and moving forward with changes in knowledge and things of helpfulness to all people would be the greatest "Tradition".  Scouts were to be the leaders to a future of new and better life for the whole planet. 

 

With the KoC I do not see much present chance for your son, but part of your Ticket can be to reach out to other units, possibly even service at your District Training Staff level that will bring things together for more young people.   My course was in 1989 with ticket finished in 1991. 

[LittleRed]

On 4/30/2019 at 4:46 PM, VickySGV said:

but part of your Ticket can be to reach out to other units, possibly even service at your District Training Staff level that will bring things together for more young people.

 

Vicky, I've been doing a lot of thinking on this. I'm considering the idea of starting a new troop in the future that would be LGBT friendly / affirming / inclusive. I've learned from an individual who works for our council as a paid employee and it sounds like the BSA is very much LGBT friendly and all inclusive. For example, I found out that trans youth can join an all girls troop or all boys troop that they identify with - they don't look at physical gender.

 

So with my current woodbadge ticket goals, I am training to become Assistant Scout Master with our troop. I'm going to do all the training and try to learn as much as I can so that I could possibly start a troop in the future. I just need to find an LGBT affirming organization that would charter it and work with our local pride chapter to advertise it to our youth. I think this would be really impactful on our LGBT youth in a very positive way.

[VickySGV]

Your local LGBT Community Center would be an ideal Chartering partner for that type of thing.  Now that BSA has cut the cord with the LDS churches I think it can play a huge part in getting the program back in gear.

[LittleRed]

4 hours ago, VickySGV said:

  Now that BSA has cut the cord with the LDS churches I think it can play a huge part in getting the program back in gear.

They have and they haven't.

 

Speaking with the gentlemen who worked for the council, he basically explained that the BSA decides that the troop has to be inclusive of the children who join. However, the chartering org decides who it approves for the adult applications (they have to approve all those applications I guess). So if the chartering org decides it doesn't approve of an adult application or wants to remove an adult because he or she was found out to be LGBT, they have that authority. But they do not have that same authority over the scouts.

 

So yes, I would definitely look to our local LGBT center for help on chartering - or one of the LGBT affirming churches in our area (we have a few)

[LittleRed]

But the good news is that my transgender son can join a boys troop and the scout master of the boys troop also did his research and said that it would be allowed too.

[VickySGV]

1 hour ago, LittleRed said:

They have and they haven't.

There used to be much more involvement, to the point of "full control" in many districts and councils by the LDS church, that they blocked attempts at that level on up to National to be inclusive of LGBTQ kids and parents, although I knew of a number who were in the program in stealth capacities.  The individual units, yes, control the unit leadership.  LDS leaders by the way, did not "volunteer" the way you are, they were assigned to jobs by the church, and not all of them wanted the jobs, or were really good at it.