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Hobbies?


Naomi Knowles

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Hi all

 

 

 

I'm looking to hear about trans experiences with their various hobbies that involve interacting with other bodies, in the hope that I can be inspired to be more social.

 

What you enjoy about them, how you came to realise you liked them, and anything else of interest about them (to you or others)?

 

 

 

 

 

Having kicked my old hobbies years ago pre-transition because I wasn't in a good place mentally, and couldn't enjoy them anymore, I never properly replaced them with anything, which I understand was not a clever move on my part. Social Withdrawal is a wicked creature that shares a bed with depression & loneliness, and forms a self-sustaining negative feedback loop with them of shame, guilt and anxiety (both real and imagined. Mostly imagined.), and connecting with groups of people is a tonic well worth trying for just such an issue.

 

If hobbies & interests make for a more overall interesting individual, which facilitates making those connections, I need to find something that engages and satisfies me as a human, but I'm in a position where nothing jumps out at me, and instead look to others for opinions.

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When I first thought about transitioning. I had thought that I could still pursue my hobbies. Why not girls are motorheads, ride motorcycles, even build model cars. Why should I give them up when I am a girl.

 

Kymmie

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I have always had hobbies that crossed the gender lines, and since I made my Transition I have found places to expand on several of them and since I am retired, a few have become a major part of my time.  Theater arts, especially the production arts, such as sound and lighting, set construction, and even costume and prop making are pretty big right now since I am the Production director for the only currently performing Transgender voices chorus in the U.S. which nicely puts my combined hobbies into play.  Amateur  Radio is another area I am part of in emergency response services.  I also have a wad of camera's which find their way into my other hobby areas.  Although my hobbies intersect with music on a large scale I am not really a musician, but a whole large segment of my friends are deep into that as a hobby. 

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I remember having this discussion with my therapist. I was concerned about not enjoying my hobbies and diversions.  As I became more comfortable in my skin I found it was much ado about nothing.  I still work on my cars, and I'm currently working with a friend to remodel their bathroom.  I've found I am more limited by age and strength than desire.

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14 minutes ago, Jani said:

I've found I am more limited by age and strength than desire.

 

Sadly, that is true in my case as well!! 

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Time stops for no one!  Even babes like us.  Ha!

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Just now, Jani said:

Time stops for no one!  Even babes like us.  Ha!

 

forward, always...

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Hi Naomi - I can only tell you that my hobbies probably wont go anywhere - I play D&D and that allows me to play as a multitude of characters and species - I will just choose more openly female/gender diverse characters. I also used to play ultimate in a mixed team and would love to get back into that. I enjoy going outdoors - walking; river, loch and ocean swimming too as well as reading and gaming (console & table top) so I cannot see me changing hobbies so much as changing what I wear while doing them. x I would love to be brave enough and comfortable enough to cosplay though - that is on my wishlist x 

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Just now, DeeDee said:

that is on my wishlist

Never say never dear!  You'll get there before you know it. 

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9 hours ago, Naomi Knowles said:

Hi all

If hobbies & interests make for a more overall interesting individual, which facilitates making those connections, I need to find something that engages and satisfies me as a human, but I'm in a position where nothing jumps out at me, and instead look to others for opinions.

 

Hi ya, one of my hobbies is physical fitness and outdoor activities, like hiking and biking (with friends). Especially later in life it's great to get out, and be in nature.....

 

Or

 

Music is one of my vehicles for social interaction...Listening and playing...Like going to concerts / performances, or playing in a band....

 

Cheers

 

Cyndee -

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It's warming to see none of you have or had any intentions of letting transition get in the way of what you enjoy ☺️

 

 

Used to be big into collectable tabletop wargames (Warhammer, Warmachine, Infinity, Bushido, etc), which is quite an expensive hobby all things considered! Painting eventually became a chore that I'd do anything to avoid, so I'm not in any hurry to go back there ?

 

 

 

For a time I did fantasise about getting my own synth keyboard, and maybe a MIDI keyboard as well, enamoured by messing around with a friend's dad's setup and being starstruck by the options and control (so many choices!).

Only things stopping me is it would be an expensive hobby that I'd end up doing by myself: Great in the future, but not what I need now.

 

 

Mulling over whether to find a recreational sport (NOT football or similar) to keep me fit, out of the house and meeting people. What kind of sport has a big question mark over it though. Trust me to pick something ridiculously obscure in my area, haha!

 

Heck, there's plenty of D&D in my local area, though having a stammer does dampen the prospect somewhat. Silly adventures like all-barbarian parties or The Commoner Curse of 300 wands almost inspire me to try. Almost.

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Naomi - One of my good friends is a regular DM and has a stammer, but nobody at the table cares. We are all just happy to play.  It's why I like it - in my experience D&D folk are very open and accepting of anyone. There are probably walking/cycling/rowing groups too which are usually not too expensive to get in to. ?

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4 hours ago, Naomi Knowles said:

Mulling over whether to find a recreational sport

You could do Orienteering or Geo-Caching.  You get outside, you use your mind, you get to meet others. 

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18 hours ago, Cyndee said:

 

Hi ya, one of my hobbies is physical fitness and outdoor activities, like hiking and biking (with friends). Especially later in life it's great to get out, and be in nature.

 

I go for the getting out there too and, although not with friends as I have none local who are that active, I regularly meet like minded (usually dog walkers) on my travels. On my bike I would maybe be too active for most my age. I can be almost childlike with my ideas.

 

Jani's idea of Geo-Caching is also a good one. My stepson does that. It exercises the mind as well as body, and caches are everywhere (I was amused to see they even exist is otherwise almost unexplored areas as well as very public places).

 

My principle interests have not really changed over the years (I am still spending a lot of time with my electronics and, to a lesser extent, science), but about 10 years ago I started to paint, and soon took drawing lessons. This has led to a whole group of new friends in our art group. This was not specifically a trans minded thing (although my interest in fashion design etc may well be closely related), but our group generally seem very relaxed with my femininity. I would recommend art to anyone!

 

The only thing I do less of these days is mechanical - I used to do a lot with motorcycles and have worked on cars. I am not sure how it relates but, over the years, I have been less inclined to get my hands dirty. I still look into engine design and tuning from time to time though. Mainly theoretical.

 

Tracy

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@DeeDee I'm weirdly conscious about my own stammer on a personal level, enough for me to assume it's an annoyance even when I know better. Which is incidentally something I'm going to be bringing up with a counsellor, once they get around to me. Because I know it would be fun, and the obstacles between me and it are entirely of my own engineering. Rowing might be pretty good for me health-wise though: I was one of those 'weird people' who actually enjoyed the rowing machine at the gym when I used to go?

 

Might start going again when I eventually get over changing room anxiety (and lose the beard permanently).

 

 

 

@Jani Can't say I've heard of geocaching, though looking more closely, there is probably a lot of overlap between travelling. If the geocache website is accurate, there are over 6000 caches in my area alone! Am a little turned off by the need to travel regularly to keep hitting that sweet spot of discovery (I'm fairly limited to where I can get to either by public transport or by my own 2 feet). Got rid of my bike a few months ago; thing made me strangely anxious (weird considering I rode bikes loads as a child). Funnily enough I did think about orienteering at work today, not sure if I'll pursue it or not at this stage. Could be an intriguing work-group activity (we're a small, intimate group). Most of us went up Snowden for my boss's birthday last year, so orienteering wouldn't be THAT big of a leap?

 

 

@tracy_j Is it a sort of friendly turn up & paint/craft with a small group of friends sort of situation? Learning to draw in a relaxed environment with the occasional nibbles doesn't sound so bad to be honest.

 

 

Apparently there is also quite a few different martial arts studios in my area too that I never noticed. Like the IDEA of something that works cardio, gives me a slightly-greater-than-0% chance to defend myself if caught in a dangerous position where I cannot simply leave quickly, as well as forms social bonds, but need to sit on it for a couple months to see if it's just my own mind running amok with unrealistic fantasies. HRT and months of relatively sedentary life (bar walking to work all the time) has taken a fair bit of strength from me, and at 5'3 (160cm) tall, I'd need maximum passion in order to keep up with my peers in that kind of environment.

 

 

What you're all doing is working by the way❤️

There is also professional counselling on the cards in order to properly uproot the cause/s of what ails me, but getting me intrigued in life again is part of the healing process, and to hold onto that flame once it gets going again.

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Naomi as to rowing we bought kayaks a few years ago as a means of getting exercise and enjoying nature.  There are a couple of kayak Meet-up's in my area I may look into to get out more than I do.  

 

As to Geocaching, like many activities you can proceed at you own pace.  You don't have to make it into a competition.  Get out when you can, where you can.  Life has a way of getting in the way of things we plan, especially hobbies and diversions.  That they're not critical and we do them at our leisure is important as we are supposed to enjoy these endeavors.  The thing I've learned as I aged is not to take it all too seriously.   Tomorrow is another day, and when its not, it will not matter! ?

 

Have fun, 

Jani 

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7 hours ago, Naomi Knowles said:

 

@tracy_j Is it a sort of friendly turn up & paint/craft with a small group of friends sort of situation? Learning to draw in a relaxed environment with the occasional nibbles doesn't sound so bad to be honest.

 

 

Our group started when the local school (night school) stopped running their drawing class which I attended (government cutbacks). We started meeting to keep going, in a local village hall. It started and continues with the small group of friends feeling. We have vacancies but obviously you are too far away. I am almost certain there will be similar groups in your area as it is a common persuit in the UK. It can be a little daunting at first but people are usually very friendly and helpful. For subscription groups they usually have a trial session with no commitment.

 

Tracy

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I'm mostly into art, music, electronics, aviation and retro gaming, and I walk alot. These things are all pretty gender neutral, so there isn't much concern for me while I transition. 

 

Interestingly though, the kind of music I enjoy making is changing. I used to be more into pursuing a death thrash metal sound. This style is so rough, masculine, and it accompanied my drinking. Now I'm getting back into edm. But for my punk rock songs, I'm trying to get more of an edgy fem, crust punk sound. I'm trying to train my feminine voice, for both my music projects and in general. 

 

I've been so depressed the past ten years. I lived the facade of a cishet male, and I just stopped creating, but rather destroying. Now that I'm embracing my femininity, I'm drawing and creating again, and I'm so much happier now! 

 

I also always enjoyed making jewelry and accessories. Living as a cishet male, I sort of felt the need to hide or repress this. But now that I'm out, I've been getting back into it big time! ❤️

 

~Toni

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For me, most of my hobbies are gender neutral. I tend to read books and watch tv/movies to get some "me" time, but I always end up discussing the topics with my friends afterward. I enjoy sports, but due to physical problems, I can't play them much any more. I also tend to watch allot of YouTube, so that I can get involved in/discuss stuff that I can't in real life because I don't know anyone who likes those topics.  It is socializing in a way. 

Perhaps the only hobby that might be difficult to continue as I transition is clothes shopping. I have two female friends that I go shopping with regularly because I will offer an honest response, particularly since I dislike the majority of women's clothing. We end up laughing quite allot, and they give me suggestions based on what they like men to wear and what looks good on my body. I don't know how that will change as I start transitioning more. Also, most men, especially around here, HATE shopping. They'd rather have a root canal done. So, it remains to be seen how that'll change. I like to look good when I have to, so that'll probably be how I explain it since I'll most likely end up in a profession where business casual is the norm.   

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  • 2 weeks later...

HI All,

i'm a bit late to contribute, but I just joined.

My hobbies are pretty easy:

- Wine - It is possible to make drinking wine into a hobby.  I truly appreciate different wines, from different grapes, different viticultural areas, etc...

-Music - I love live music, pretty much all types.  The good thing is that most live music venues are progressive and don't mind a not exactly passing trans woman.   So far, I haven't gotten up the nerve to go somewhere really nice like the Kennedy Center, though I do relish the idea of dressing to the nines and going to the symphony or opera.

-Shopping - I think every transgender girl likes shopping.  Its really the adventure of being out and what you will find. I can even shop without any money...

-Running - I love running.  I don't race, or at least haven't done one in a while, so haven't worried about gender issues and fairness.

-Outdoor activities - Hiking, boating, skiing,  SUP, volunteering at my local park.  

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