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Hay im new here

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Hi. I have recently realised i am non-binary, i dont feel like a man or a woman but something inbetween. I have told my nurse and my fiance. Who have been totally supportive. But i do feel very alone. There is very little support for those who are LGBTQ + and the only other person who is NB is a 16 year old in my Choir. (Im 25). I dont have a clue how i am going to tell my mum and my oldest brother(24, Autistic,makes jokes about identifing as a toaster). I want to cut my long hair to feel more like me but at the same time i don't, its so confusing! I also have been 'blessed' with a large chest and im not shore what i should use to try and minimise them. On the other hand i bought a mens polo shirt, because womens polo shirts are way too expensive. I was so scared buying it.


So yeh im rambling abd im new here, if you can help me that would be great!

Many thanks in advance!

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Welcome to Trans Pulse.  I don't know how to help directly but i found that posting here and reading the posts of others helped me find a path to finding and then accepting myself.

Give it time and try to enjoy the journey.





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Read around here. You should soon find out a few ideas and people are very friendly. Confidence will steadily grow as you go.



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Welcome InnocentWiskers  to Trans Pulse forums, and thanks for your intro post.


Have a look around, and do post away as the mood strikes ya


Cyndee -

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Hello and welcome!  Don't worry about rambling!  You're just writing from the heart.   As an NB, why wouldn't you try to mix up your gender presentation a bit with shorter hair and some unique clothing choices, and not worry about the size of your chest.  A sports type bra would help with providing for a minimized look.   As you feel like something "in between" this in between look would seem to satisfy all concerns.   Just a though...


Take some time and look around.  I think you'll find lots of good information here.


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Hi, Innocentwhiskers!


As a NB person myself, I can identify with your concerns!   I can tell you that I, too, was soooo scared the first few times I purchased clothing.  But I soon found that there really wasn't anything bad that was going to happen;  cashiers simply rang up my purchases and didn't give me any suspicious looks.  Within a few weeks I was eagerly augmenting my wardrobe (and trying on tons of stuff to see what fit and what worked for me), and I have never looked back since.  I agree with Jani, too -- mixing up my outfits in unique ways with both masculine and feminine touches is fun.  And both thrift stores (with used clothing) and stores such as Primark can be easy on the budget when you want to try something different.


Regarding how to come out to your mum and oldest brother, one approach you might consider is writing down what you want to say in a letter (it could be a different letter for each of them). Take your time doing it, and do several drafts of it until you've got it the way you want.  This is what I did when coming out as NB to my daughter. It gave me a chance to express to her what I was feeling inside about my gender, and I didn't have to worry about forgetting to say something, which might have been the case if I had simply sat down and talked, trying to remember all the things I wanted to include.  And even if you ultimately don't use the letter(s), it can be a useful way to articulate for yourself your own thoughts about your gender identity.


Oh, and have fun in your choir ... I love singing, too! 🙂


All the best!



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Being on this site with loads of information is great way to start , since i am fairly new and still fresh it is a scary issue. This place is a great support of all LGBTQ and really good advice .

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Hi Innocentwiskers, I kind of understand your quandary since people have wondered what a non-binary is supposed to transition to...

Somewhere in the middle I suppose, for me.

Welcome to a great place to ask questions and find answers.


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      Hey so im katherine 15 (I know I'm young I hope thats okay) I'm struggling with gender identity some days i just want to snap my fingers and change my body completely (as in no vag or breasts to having a p and some times neither) however im happy with using she/her terms but I feel like im wrong in the way that I don't experience high levels of body dysphoria which from my understanding please correct if im wrong is what kind of tells you in a way what gender you are (sorry if that was incorrect) its really stressing me out and some days I just feel so distant from my body and its not like I want to instantly have the "male" body its just like I don't want anything (but sometimes male or female and even both) but the term genderfluid doesn't sit well as even when I feel like a male i still wear stereotypical female clothing which i know sounds like a stupid excuse but from some if the gender fluid people i have met they have said thats how they deal with it sorry if I'm not making any sense however i was wondering if anyone is going through something similar and how they are coping with it
    • KymmieL
      Holly, Welcome to Transpulse. We are all family here. a nonjudgmental place to express yourself, ask questions, find answers, and be who ou need to be.   Kymmie
    • Ryan
      Welcome, Holly. 👋
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      Hi everybody, nervous and excited to join the forum!   My name is Holly, I'm 27 AMAB and have just started seriously exploring my gender dysphoria. I think I have known for a long time that I am a bisexual woman, however I have only just come out to my girlfriend and nobody else yet. I am still exploring how I want to progress going forward, but I thought a simple introduction was a great place to start. I'll probably be posting a lot on the other forums, but if anybody that has had a similar experience to me, please feel free to contact me and have a chat :)   Much love, Holly
    • ElizabethStar
      I got clocked and openly misgendered today. I had to take my wife to the hospital, she has ongoing health issues that require occasional visits. This time it turned out to be an overnight-er. I went home to get a few things for her nights stay. When I returned I had to got through the, now typical, Covid questions and temp check. Before I ever open my mouth or changed my mask one of the two woman behind the desk started calling me sir. And did it repeatedly. I feel I should have said something but I also had to show my ID. My wife had literally just gotten to her room so I wasn't on the visitor list. But she called me sir, like 6 times. I would have thought that somewhere between the strappy sandals, mini back pack, boobs, and purse she would have possibly just seen another woman. It just burnt me straight to my core to have this happen. I really want to call and complain but I'm scared of any back-lash.   Sorry for the rant. I just had to get it out.   💖~Liz~    
    • A. Dillon
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    • KathyLauren
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      Well that's unfortunate. You had a good plan going on there. I would be careful until you're out of the house. Depending on how your parents react, you could suddenly find yourself homeless in the middle of a global pandemic. That's not an ideal situation.   You should definitely have the conversation as soon as you're ready. It just gets harder with time, but you also need to be in a situation where their rejection, if it comes to that, doesn't leave you vulnerable and scrambling for a place to stay. You need to get this off your chest, but at the same time you need to keep yourself safe.   Hugs!
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