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Innocentwiskers

Hay im new here

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Innocentwiskers

Hi. I have recently realised i am non-binary, i dont feel like a man or a woman but something inbetween. I have told my nurse and my fiance. Who have been totally supportive. But i do feel very alone. There is very little support for those who are LGBTQ + and the only other person who is NB is a 16 year old in my Choir. (Im 25). I dont have a clue how i am going to tell my mum and my oldest brother(24, Autistic,makes jokes about identifing as a toaster). I want to cut my long hair to feel more like me but at the same time i don't, its so confusing! I also have been 'blessed' with a large chest and im not shore what i should use to try and minimise them. On the other hand i bought a mens polo shirt, because womens polo shirts are way too expensive. I was so scared buying it.

 

So yeh im rambling abd im new here, if you can help me that would be great!

Many thanks in advance!

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Charlize

Welcome to Trans Pulse.  I don't know how to help directly but i found that posting here and reading the posts of others helped me find a path to finding and then accepting myself.

Give it time and try to enjoy the journey.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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tracy_j

Welcome!

 

Read around here. You should soon find out a few ideas and people are very friendly. Confidence will steadily grow as you go.

 

Tracy

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Cyndee

Welcome InnocentWiskers  to Trans Pulse forums, and thanks for your intro post.

 

Have a look around, and do post away as the mood strikes ya

 

Cyndee -

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Jani

Hello and welcome!  Don't worry about rambling!  You're just writing from the heart.   As an NB, why wouldn't you try to mix up your gender presentation a bit with shorter hair and some unique clothing choices, and not worry about the size of your chest.  A sports type bra would help with providing for a minimized look.   As you feel like something "in between" this in between look would seem to satisfy all concerns.   Just a though...

 

Take some time and look around.  I think you'll find lots of good information here.

Jani

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Astrid

Hi, Innocentwhiskers!

 

As a NB person myself, I can identify with your concerns!   I can tell you that I, too, was soooo scared the first few times I purchased clothing.  But I soon found that there really wasn't anything bad that was going to happen;  cashiers simply rang up my purchases and didn't give me any suspicious looks.  Within a few weeks I was eagerly augmenting my wardrobe (and trying on tons of stuff to see what fit and what worked for me), and I have never looked back since.  I agree with Jani, too -- mixing up my outfits in unique ways with both masculine and feminine touches is fun.  And both thrift stores (with used clothing) and stores such as Primark can be easy on the budget when you want to try something different.

 

Regarding how to come out to your mum and oldest brother, one approach you might consider is writing down what you want to say in a letter (it could be a different letter for each of them). Take your time doing it, and do several drafts of it until you've got it the way you want.  This is what I did when coming out as NB to my daughter. It gave me a chance to express to her what I was feeling inside about my gender, and I didn't have to worry about forgetting to say something, which might have been the case if I had simply sat down and talked, trying to remember all the things I wanted to include.  And even if you ultimately don't use the letter(s), it can be a useful way to articulate for yourself your own thoughts about your gender identity.

 

Oh, and have fun in your choir ... I love singing, too! 🙂

 

All the best!

 

Astrid

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mini

welcome

 

Being on this site with loads of information is great way to start , since i am fairly new and still fresh it is a scary issue. This place is a great support of all LGBTQ and really good advice .

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TammyAnne

Hi Innocentwiskers, I kind of understand your quandary since people have wondered what a non-binary is supposed to transition to...

Somewhere in the middle I suppose, for me.

Welcome to a great place to ask questions and find answers.

TA

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