Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Innocentwiskers

Hay im new here

Recommended Posts

Innocentwiskers

Hi. I have recently realised i am non-binary, i dont feel like a man or a woman but something inbetween. I have told my nurse and my fiance. Who have been totally supportive. But i do feel very alone. There is very little support for those who are LGBTQ + and the only other person who is NB is a 16 year old in my Choir. (Im 25). I dont have a clue how i am going to tell my mum and my oldest brother(24, Autistic,makes jokes about identifing as a toaster). I want to cut my long hair to feel more like me but at the same time i don't, its so confusing! I also have been 'blessed' with a large chest and im not shore what i should use to try and minimise them. On the other hand i bought a mens polo shirt, because womens polo shirts are way too expensive. I was so scared buying it.

 

So yeh im rambling abd im new here, if you can help me that would be great!

Many thanks in advance!

Share this post


Link to post
Charlize

Welcome to Trans Pulse.  I don't know how to help directly but i found that posting here and reading the posts of others helped me find a path to finding and then accepting myself.

Give it time and try to enjoy the journey.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Share this post


Link to post
tracy_j

Welcome!

 

Read around here. You should soon find out a few ideas and people are very friendly. Confidence will steadily grow as you go.

 

Tracy

Share this post


Link to post
Cyndee

Welcome InnocentWiskers  to Trans Pulse forums, and thanks for your intro post.

 

Have a look around, and do post away as the mood strikes ya

 

Cyndee -

Share this post


Link to post
Jani

Hello and welcome!  Don't worry about rambling!  You're just writing from the heart.   As an NB, why wouldn't you try to mix up your gender presentation a bit with shorter hair and some unique clothing choices, and not worry about the size of your chest.  A sports type bra would help with providing for a minimized look.   As you feel like something "in between" this in between look would seem to satisfy all concerns.   Just a though...

 

Take some time and look around.  I think you'll find lots of good information here.

Jani

Share this post


Link to post
Astrid

Hi, Innocentwhiskers!

 

As a NB person myself, I can identify with your concerns!   I can tell you that I, too, was soooo scared the first few times I purchased clothing.  But I soon found that there really wasn't anything bad that was going to happen;  cashiers simply rang up my purchases and didn't give me any suspicious looks.  Within a few weeks I was eagerly augmenting my wardrobe (and trying on tons of stuff to see what fit and what worked for me), and I have never looked back since.  I agree with Jani, too -- mixing up my outfits in unique ways with both masculine and feminine touches is fun.  And both thrift stores (with used clothing) and stores such as Primark can be easy on the budget when you want to try something different.

 

Regarding how to come out to your mum and oldest brother, one approach you might consider is writing down what you want to say in a letter (it could be a different letter for each of them). Take your time doing it, and do several drafts of it until you've got it the way you want.  This is what I did when coming out as NB to my daughter. It gave me a chance to express to her what I was feeling inside about my gender, and I didn't have to worry about forgetting to say something, which might have been the case if I had simply sat down and talked, trying to remember all the things I wanted to include.  And even if you ultimately don't use the letter(s), it can be a useful way to articulate for yourself your own thoughts about your gender identity.

 

Oh, and have fun in your choir ... I love singing, too! 🙂

 

All the best!

 

Astrid

Share this post


Link to post
mini

welcome

 

Being on this site with loads of information is great way to start , since i am fairly new and still fresh it is a scary issue. This place is a great support of all LGBTQ and really good advice .

Share this post


Link to post
TammyAnne

Hi Innocentwiskers, I kind of understand your quandary since people have wondered what a non-binary is supposed to transition to...

Somewhere in the middle I suppose, for me.

Welcome to a great place to ask questions and find answers.

TA

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 68 Guests (See full list)

    • Debra Michelle
    • JoniSteph
    • J.Ryan
    • MaryMary
    • ToniTone
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      70,007
    • Total Posts
      633,231
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      6,297
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Destiny444
    Newest Member
    Destiny444
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Emmacd
      Emmacd
      (43 years old)
    2. Fish(i just want answers)
      Fish(i just want answers)
    3. Rainford
      Rainford
  • Posts

    • Astrid
      Waving to you, Ivy!  Good to see another non-binary person join us!  We're all here for each other.   Best wishes on the journey ahead,   Astrid
    • Astrid
      I began HRT on Dec 4th, 2019, less than 3 months ago.  Everyone's timetable will vary.   Mine certainly did:  breast soreness began at 3 weeks, breast buds formed at 4 weeks, and tissue growth began in earnest.  I understand why my doctor said that growth usually doesn't begin until 3 to 6 months in (because that's the average response she sees in her patients).  As I've remarked elsewhere in other posts, I've actually reduced my patch size/daily dose to slow growth down, as I'm non-binary and don't have significant breast growth as a goal.  I'm a living experiment in whether, for me, I can continue with microdosing.  The coming 6 months or so will tell, I think.   Body hair (for example, on legs) is now smoother.  Chest hair isn't, because I'm at the stage where electrolysis has removed almost all of it 😊.   Since an initial flurry of questions (via the health portal for my HRT facility), I've personally found a less stressful approach for me is to chill a bit and not be super-anxious about every small little thing I might notice.  It will happen when it happens, if it happens.  I'm just happy that estradiol really IS addressing my dysphoria -- I now have positive developments that I can dwell on, even small ones, and that's a good thing!  And, yes, I cherish being more emotional, too!   Astrid
    • ToniTone
      Welcome Ivy! This forum is a very supportive place with lots of friendly people. Glad you are here with us 💕   ~Toni
    • Charlize
      Welcome Ivy. My time here certainly has helped me live as and accept myself. Hope you find the same!   Hugs,   Charlize
    • MaryMary
      I spent a lot of time learning to talk with a deep voice and a lot of time learning to "retalk" with a higher voice, lol This puberphonia thing earned me a lot of abuse, lol
    • Charlize
      I have never heard of that.  Interesting for sure.  Perhaps wiki should add another possible cause?  I remember when my voice was going through change.  I hated that time.  I've only spoken to one voice "expert" and she notes that my voice fits well into the female spectrum for someone who spent years smoking.  That's me, unfortunately.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • TammyAnne
      The VA adheres to the most current WPATH standards. If you go to a VA healthcare facility you can either contact the LGBT facilitator directly, or go to Primary Care Mental Health and ask to be referred to a Gender Therapist. They are caring, professional and discreet. There are some limits to what can be covered, cosmetic procedures are not covered, but counseling, HRT and all associated care including medications, endocrinology, etc. are all covered. I am a VA client and was actually referred to this website by my VA gender therapist. TA
    • TammyAnne
      Hi and welcome Ivy. Glad you're here. TA
    • TammyAnne
      Hi Dearheart, I'm northeast of you in Searcy County. Arkansas can be such a mixed bag, mostly people tend to live and let live. Like you I am non-binary (well really gender nonconforming tending towards feminine). While I would love to present as totally female, for me it is a bridge too far. However, as Jani suggested, I wouldn't be too concerned about your size or bone structure. I've met some farm girls who could easily crush me and I'm not little. As to voice, that too is a spectrum. Mae West had a very husky voice. No one ever presumed she was male. I am proud of you, glad you found us, and hope things continue to go smoothly with your classroom. TA
    • MaryMary
      I discovered something tonight... what I had when I was a teenager actually has a name! After the word transgender I discovered at like 31, at 38 I discover this. I was laughing when reading the potential causes :   Emotional stress[12] Resistance to pubertal changes[3]   lol... in other word... gender dysphoria 🤣 I'm happy to know this because I always struggled describing it and explaining when I had to. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puberphonia
    • Taylor
      Thanks for the responses so far. I realize it will take some time. More curious than anything, about people who may have experienced thing rather early on or later than usual.     It hasn't quite been a week yet, and some of it might be in my head, but over the weekend I did have a rather short tingling-itch in my chest. I also felt like my skin may have been a bit softer after my last shave, but it may have just been a closer shave that made it feel smoother.       Yeah. I know age can be a big factor. I'm glad I'm able to start transitioning now, at 25, than it being much later. Of course there is the part of me that wishes I would've realized things earlier in life, but it's not really productive to dwell on the past like that. (I would assume plenty of people here feel similarly about coming out, transitioning, etc.). Personally hips aren't really a big concern, a little shape would be nice... but not a big deal. I am kind of looking forward to the emotional stuff though, though I feel a bit weird for that.   Hope you do you your visit from the boob fairy though, Jackie.
    • Suzanne1
      OOPs, sorry; the main title is Woman's Evolution, what's I wrote above is the subtitle.  Sorry, it's been awhile.   Best wishes to the new member.
    • Jani
      OK.  I would suggest if you want to be looked at as female then I might suggest you are not non-binary.  Something to talk with your therapist some more.   You can be transgender and not want or need GCS.  It's all a personal choice.  As to never being properly MtF,  never say never!      Don't worry about bone structure as there are lots of larger women, just as there are lots of men.  Your size could be to your advantage, from several larger women I know.  You can work on your voice to bring it into a higher range but also focus on inflection and cadence when you speak.  IMO this is more important than tone.   Work on making yourself happy, not others.  You're the one who matters.    Cheers, Jani   
    • Suzanne1
      Interesting observation.    Don't know if this is still in print, but this was an interesting book:  From Matriarchal Clan to Patriarchical Society (by Evelyn Reed, I think). I  had the experience of hearing her speak once.    Certainly the book's a feminist treatment of the subject, which can be something of a stumbling block for lots of TG's.
    • Dearhart
      I'm looking into that, now, too. From what I know so far, the state law only cares whether I get bottom surgery in regards to changing the sex marker on documents like birth certificate and social security card.    Oh, I'm sure they know something is going on, but aren't bothered enough to either say or do anything regarding it.  Also, I only really say non-binary as a kind of placeholder until I figure the ideas and definitions out better. I know I'd like to pass publicly as female, but I have no intention of getting bottom surgery. That's just way too expensive and I've never really associated those parts with my gender identity.  Honestly, the biggest thing I see preventing me from presenting more traditionally feminine is my voice and bone structure. My current vocal range has my lowest  notes flirting with the mid-low end of Bass, but I can belt out a low baritone like Tennessee Ernie Ford or whoever sang "Through Heaven's Eyes" in the Prince of Egypt movie. And my bone structure is largely unknown due to lifelong obesity, but I feel really self-conscious about what I perceive as a forehead large enough to make Kelsey Grammar's look dainty. I know it isn't, but it still feels like that.  I may never be "properly" MtF, because I do like mixing things up, but hearing Tony the Tiger's voice coming from someone who's trying to present as feminine may be problematic. Hopefully, though, that'll just end up as more of the "people just don't care as much as I think they do" that I'm still coming to grips with.  
  • Upcoming Events

×
×
  • Create New...