Came out as trans exclusively and now I'm questioning my sexuality?

[hmillerrr]

Hi guys! 

I've been kind of confused lately... 

Almost a year ago now I came out (exclusively) as ftm trans but lately I find myself questioning my sexuality as well. My entire life I was never into boys the way I was girls. I Could have crushes on boys but I could never fall in love and all that stuff. Before I came out as trans I identified as a lesbian for 6 years as well. But lately I find myself wondering. Theres this trans guy youtuber who I started really crushing on. And while yes I I know anyone can fancy an attractive guy with a platform, it literally got to the point where it was like 'admit it, you want him' and in some ways im confused but also surprised. Have any of you guys come out as trans and feel your preference expand? What do u think the reason behind that is? (I'm thinking maybe it's because liking men was, in my past, associated with "femininity" and being a straight female [by society's standards anyway?]) I don't know... after all I do have to explore this more. This youtuber could be the exception. I don't know... In some ways in kind of scared about it. I feel like I'm learning more and more that I am not who I think I am. I feel like I've been losing what I thought was factual. In some ways thought I Would live as a girl my whole life and never come out and face the hardships that come with this. but I know now that I need to come out and I'm accepting that one but I thought I knew my sexuality for a fact and now I'm realizing I don't even have that. I'm feeling very lost and confused in my life. Anyways.... Thank you all again for being something to lean on. I appreciate it.

                                                   - Trevor

[killjoyaiden]

For me, my sexuality fluctuated until I realized that I didn't need to label it. I always say, just find me the right person and we'll see what happens. When I was trying to label it, I was always extremely unhappy because I felt like I would never have an answer. But, after a bit, I learned to let go of the need to label myself and it helped tremendously. When people ask me what my sexuality is, I either say fluid or bi. Bisexuality covers trans* people too. I don't know, for me it fluctuated a lot. Some days, all I wanted was girls, the next boys started to creep into my mind, other times all I wanted was a guy. It confused me so badly, so I just did away with labels. Shrug.

 

That's just my story. It's all up to you.

 

My messages are ALWAYS open!!

 

Stay safe and stay alive,

Aiden

[EliAtkins]

Questioning your sexuality is completely natural and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the fact that your trans.  I've actually heard it's quite common for a person's sexuality to expand, especially after starting transition.  I've heard some say that it's because being trans makes you more open to other possibilities and I'd like to think this idea has some merit.

 

Pansexual (basically, a more inclusive version of bisexual for those that take issue with the idea of gender being binary) is another term that's gaining popularity in recent years.  There's also no need to define yourself by a label.  You don't have to answer, but maybe question yourself as to why it matters if this youtuber is the exception?  Do you think it's okay to have an exception?  How would you feel about being attracted to guys as well?  For as affirming as it can be to say 'yes, this is who/what I am' it can also be somewhat limiting as we grow and change.

 

While I've always had a slight preference for men, I've known since I was 15 that was just as attracted to girls.  So now, 20 years later and while I've always considered myself pan, I am noticing recently that I have a much stronger preference for men, almost to the point of being exclusively interested in men.  It doesn't really matter how things shift or change as we grow as people.  It could be a temporary thing or it could be something that sticks around and either option is perfectly fine!

[Zoey]

I dated woman, even married one, but was always interested in guys, then I started my transition and ended up falling in love with another transgender.  I'm still confused, but I don't get too bogged down by it, I'm attracted to who I'm attracted.

[Lexi C]

Hey Hemilller...All I know is I am right there with you. I start my HRT 4months ago...and I all I can think about is I fuc== up...every day I keep waiting for a bolt of lighten to hit me and make me ok...I am MTF but darn If I don't want to fornicate with a woman or just be that woman..just super confusing. The senior members on his site will tell to find a good Trans Gender therapist and they are right. I found one and she is totally help me with crap. G.L  thumbs up emoji 

[StrainAsylum]

I've done the heterosexual thing as a teen/20s, then accepted that I was gay for 30 yrs, then realized that I was trans FTM and not just gay.  All of my life I've been more attracted to the person than their plumbing, which was very confusing and makes me think you might be, as well. 

 

After research on people's sexuality post-testosterone, I pretty much figure that I'll wait and see what sexuality I end up as.  I've always felt gay, but felt it as a guy, so who knows?  LOL!

[TheFirstEvan-Ger]

A number of the trans guys I know weren't into guys until transition, and one of them said he thought it was because the idea of being with a guy made him feel dysphoric until he started to actually pass as male. Maybe it's something similar for you? Or maybe not. Sexuality is fluid, no need to always be one way just because it's how you were before!