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Spyke01

Does anyone else have more than one child who is transgender?

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Spyke01

My younger child, now 17 has been transgender (female to male) for 4 years now.  He's on "T".  Now my older child who is 18 and in college just told me they are transgender as well (male to female).  They said he is going to start Estrogen. Since he's 18 he does not need any help from us.  He's going to start next weekend.  He's only been "out" for a week to us, but says he's been living as a female at college for the past few months.  (Trying to say "they", but he's still a he to me.)  We support them both and say all the right things, but it's really have to deal with in my head.  I don't understand it.  Anyone else in this boat?

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VickySGV

I am the Trans in my family,(no children or grandchildren have come out)  but I do have three sets of parents in my IRL social crowd with just that phenomena.  One family has what they jokingly but lovingly describe as gender traders in an 11 yr old FtM and a 9 year old MtF who happily accepts her older sibling's hand me downs.  The other families have same gender children one family boys and the other girls.  It does happen.

 

If you have not done so, I would recommend getting in touch with PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) which has a good program for parents of Trans children of any age.  I am sure that your local chapter can introduce you to other parents in you situation. 

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EvanC

It turns out that both my children are trans, one MtF and one non-binary. They both came out to me about around 5 year ago, and since then I have been looking back on my own life and realized that I am transgender too. I guess that is quite a lot for one family, but I think it has been a gift that my kids trusted me enough to take that step and come out. 

 

In the early days after my son came out I would remind myself that he was exactly the same person he had always been, just a truer, more complete expression of himself. Watching the way he went from a shy, withdrawn, and frankly cranky teen to the happy successful man he is today has been so wonderful. As a parent, I couldn't wish any better happiness for him.

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Spyke01

I went to a PFLAG meeting last night in fact.  I love my kids and just want them to be happy.  Trying to change their pronouns is difficult to get used to.  Also they don't want me to tell anyone - which is really hard for me.  All of my family lives in town, and I can't talk about this?  That's really hard.   They will notice a change in them, you can't cover that up.  I think what I need is a private counselor.  I did get a couple recommendations for that.  Thanks.

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VickySGV
1 hour ago, Spyke01 said:

I think what I need is a private counselor.  I did get a couple recommendations for that. 

Now why didn't I suggest that up above??  An excellent way to go. You are a special type of parent!!

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