The right path

[Wise]

                  Hello I'm Josie.                         This is my story so far. I hope this helps someone. I have been a women trapped my whole life. Ether by society or family. So I went on with life sneaking  around and just lying to my self and family. Which made life bad for me and everyone around me. I did what i was told to be a man get married and have kids. See in my family ( I don't do this with my kids) we have/had ranks. Depending on what we did with our life. This would gauge how high we were in the ranks. It sounds a bad way to parent. I couldn't do this with my kids. But I still do have a soft spot on my heart, for those butt heads( I limit the contact with my kids a lot with my family). Time went on. I found the best woman. I could have ever asked for. We got married had kids. My wife did know a little about the way I really am. She just let me do what I needed to do. She is the first person I have ever trusted. Over time our daughter got older. One night we found out she was gay. I was a tad bit mad I found out by a third party and not her. I got over it tho. See we live in a small town. This town does not like change at all. Anything out of the norm it takes a lot of time for people to be ok with it.  So my daughter was having a bad time at school. Kids were making fun of her and just being a*# hats. So I sat her down and just told her to be her. Just trying to help her to come to grips with who she is and to accept it. This whole time. I'm telling my self you hypocritical bastard your not doing this. Your not being true to your self. That went on for about two weeks or so it was just eating at me. One day I sat down with my wife and told her. I was about to cry. She was silent for a bit. I thought to my self well this is it I'm about to lose my wife and kids and everything. She was mad at first not for me being transgender but that I didn't tell her from the start. Over the next few days or so we kept talking about stuff. After I gave her some time she came around. We are still taking it day to day and slow . When she said she was ok with it. I felt a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I have never felt so liberated in my life. For the first time I can be me. After a day or so went on I told my daughters. They where so happy for me. They were not mad nothing but accepting. It was nice. I love my daughters so much. If it was not for my oldest. I may still be hiding.   This last Sunday was the first time I went to the store and openly shopped for cloths and makeup. I didn't hide my self. It felt so good. Now I know why it takes my wife so long to shop lol . I'm not out 100% yet. I still need to tell more people and just take this one day at a time. One side of me just wants to run with it and get all of this done all at once. I know this path is not a speed run it takes time to transition 100%. I will get there just one day at a time.

[ToniTone]

Good for you! It's nice to hear your immediate/household family is accepting of you. Welcome to the forum btw. 

 

~Toni ❤️