Newbie

[Sophia79]

Hello one and all! Newbie here so please be gentle ?

 

Sophia (alias name) here ☺️

 

I'd consider myself a 'straight' male. I'm in a relationship with a girl that I love. However I'm sat here on my sofa writing this wearing shiny leggings, a blouse top and sparkly heels ??‍♂️

 

I've always been very curious with my sexuality growing up. Would often dabble in wearing my sisters clothes, tucking my penis away and still to this day I'm in my late 30's and I still have the same curiosity so there must be something there. I wouldn't say I think or act like a woman though. 

 

I've recently gone all out with buying women's clothes, heels, wig, bra, breast pads and make up. Even though I look a right sight it feels just so right. I love the look and feel of women's clothes and such. There's a certain sexiness about it that you just don't get with men's clothes and just being a man generally. 

 

I have this dream of being a woman just for one day to see how I'd look and feel. For now though I make do with dressing up behind closed doors. Could never imagine ever coming out or even going the way of transitioning (just for the fact of how hard it would be). I've seen plenty of pictures of MTF transitions out there and some look very convincing and I often imagine if I could ever look that good if I ever plucked up the courage. 

 

Any way that's a little bit about me and my kinda confused state ha! 

 

Would be be great to chat to like minded people out there and hear of similar positions and experiences. This is the first time I've ever spoken of this and it's took a little courage to come on here and write about this. 

 

Bye for now Sophia ?

[Ellora]

Hi and welcome Sophia! You don’t sound confused at all. You sound like you know what makes you feel good,  and you are doing it. You don’t Have to do anything, you can do exactly what you are doing, simple as that. The bottom line is, it makes you feel good. If you choose to do more, then so be it. Speaking to a gender therapist can help you along the way. Of course you can always speak with us, as you have already started to do so. ? Have you tried the Snapchat gender filter? I’m using it in my profile pic ? Have fun dressing up, I know I do, as I sit her in one of my favorite maxi sari wrap skirts, powder blue cami, pink bra, and ‘Just Garnet’ lipstick ? 

 

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome  to Trans Pulse, Sophia.  There are quite a lot of like minded people here, so you're in luck.  We have lots of forums for CDers to discuss fashion and such issues, but you are welcome to post in any of the forums.  I hope you find TP to be a fun and interesting place to hang out.  I think you'll like what you see.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Amberlea]

Welcome from me too!

I can so relate to how you feel. This was very much the way I felt before I started to transition. The sense of liberation and freedom is amazing!  Get out in public for even an hour or two as a woman just to see how it feels. -scary yes, but the buzz will be amazing. Pick a safe place like a public park in a good area during the day. Most of all just enjoy who you are Sophia.

Keep in touch

Amberlea

[Charlize]

Welcome Sophia,

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Sophia,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

I was scared at first too, but this is a safe place.

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf ?

[michelle_kitten]

Welcome Sophia.

 

So, I totally relate women's clothes feel so much better, and there are so many more options to express how you feel, to match the occasion, and just have fun.  I also don't do much for the clothes in my current state.  I have a lot of work to do for that.  Still, I feel much more like me, and much more relaxed in a skirt and a loose fitting top than guy clothes.

 

I kinda envy your heals.  I've been debating about buying a pair, and probably will in the next month or so as paychecks allow.  I need to learn to walk in them eventually.  I've tried them before and haven't fallen and broken my neck, so I am totally looking forward to at least one pair of wedges I like on Amazon.

 

So, I haven't purchased any wigs yet.  I am going to save up for a quality lace-front wig so I can look as natural as possible until I can do like hair transplants or something more permanent.

 

Don't feel like you have to rush anything.  Take figuring things out at your own pace.  Expect that what you are thinking today will evolve as time goes on and you discover things you didn't know about.

 

Glad you are here.  This is totally a safe place for you.  ?

[Sophia79]

Cheers for all the messages and the warm welcomes ☺️

 

Ha yes Ellora I've tried the snap chat filter and I look awful. Not how I'd hope to turn out should I ever go that way. 

 

Totally haven't got the confidence to head out locally cross dressed. Know too many faces my way and I'd totally stand out and be recognised. Very early days here yet. 

 

Think the heels do it for me most. However with my big feet I can only wear them for so long ya! 

 

Hope to chat some more soon ?

[DeeDee]

6 hours ago, Sophia79 said:

Totally haven't got the confidence to head out locally cross dressed. Know too many faces my way and I'd totally stand out and be recognised. Very early days here yet. 

Hi Sophia, 

Pleased to meet you. You have already been given all the good advice about there not being any pressure to do more or less than you are comfortable doing, just be you.

 

I just wanted to say that I know how hard it can be to go out somewhere where you can be anonymous, but if you want to give it a go then there are ways to make it happen.

I went out a couple of months ago just around a short woodland walk around an hours drive from my house, I was wearing appropriate casual female clothes under my male jacket and then when I got a safe distance from the house I replaced my shoes and put on my wig and ladies jacket - nothing fancy, I didn't bother with lots of makeup in case someone noticed while I was driving; but was more paranoid when I met the one other person on the walk, it was an important moment though as I finally went outside the house in as safe a way as I could engineer.

This weekend I went out for the first time publicly but that was in a city almost 6hrs drive from me so I knew the chances of bumping into someone and being recognised were truly slim.

(I live in a very small rural village and am not even close to wanting anyone to find out. Its also why I have never shown my face online - just in case that one in a billion chance happened of having a person log in and recognise me. Even though I know its just my paranoia)

Anyway, I hope you find a path through your confusion  

[Sophia79]

Cheers for your reply and advice. Really am a million miles away from anything like that. I don't think I could ever go out in public unless I really looked convincing dressed up and all. As of now that won't be happening anytime now unfortunately. 

 

One day maybe ☺️

[DeeDee]

Sophia, you don't have to go out at all! It was simply because you mentioned being recognised was a worry I wanted to give you a couple of options. Please don't be so hard on yourself, try dressing when you have the space and time to do it and just see how it makes you feel. ? Just keep reading around the forum about whatever interests you and then ask if you want to know anything. 

[Jani]

Greetings Sophia!  Its scary at first to be yourself but soon things settle down in your mind.  As Dee suggests, don't be so hard on yourself.  Please join in the conversation.

 

Cheers, Jani