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Becoming normalized


DawnD

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Noticed an interesting phenomenon.

 

So I have be wearing panties 24/7 for several months now. I am not out or transitioning yet. At first the fact that I was wearing them was a complete turn on. I have been noticing recently I don't even think about them, it's just normal. Its actually weird on the rare ocation I need to wear male underwear. This is just fascinating, anyone else experience This?

 

Dawn

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Thanks girls, to me the fact that this feels normal to me make me feel validated that my feelings about being a woman are genuine. I am also starting to feel the same way with some of other things in private. However since I am not out yet there is a little air of danger wearing them(Dresses, legging, etc.), due to the risk of getting caught.  Granted I am on a third floor and the possibility  seeing thru the blinds are remote. 

 

It's funny I actually was looking at one pair and thinking these are super comfy and I should get more of them. 

 

Dawn

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It does become normal or a non turn on after a while still I found it important as I was going along and not at the point of transitioning yet. It validated who I am and that was and still is a life saver.

As much as I like my girl Jean's I like taking them off when I get home.

Cheers Rachel

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1 hour ago, RACHEL GIA said:

As much as I like my girl Jean's I like taking them off when I get home.

I like to joke about how most girls can't wait to take their bras off when they get home, and I can't wait to get home and put one on. I imagine if I do end up transitioning and grow some breasts, my relationship with my bra might change. ...?

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I hear you Marcie.  How anyone could really think of them than anything other than an instument of torture is beyond me.

 

Going back to the original post.

 

Its all down to conditioning. From the moment we are able to understand the concept of Morals and so called normality we are told. You cant do this and this is what you should be doing it is imprinted on our brains. A human code of conduct if you like.

Useing extremes. as an example. We are imprinted that Murder is bad. Stealing is bad. etc etc. We accept that it is without question Which it is for sure. (Theres one of my moral codes) as im sure 99.9% of the population of the world also.

 

So when we see on the news someone has been murdered regardless of who and circumstances. We all feel this is not how a normal society should behave and the indivdual responsible should be punished for there actions. If you do not then its considered to be immoral and engaging in wrong think.. With that example. Going back to a man not wearing Male underwear. Its not considered normal as it has been part of our conditioning that men do not wear frills and lace underwear. So if you openly say "hey i wear ladies panties" then people look upon you as strange Because this is not a social norm and should be shunned or frowned upon. Because thats our conditioning.

 

You say Its now feels strange if you was to consider yourself wearing mens underwear. because you have broke your own little Programming. All those years you was told this is wrong and because you have continully broke that moral rule you was given its now become normal for you to do so.

 

However i do ask the question. How far has your own binary code been broken? Do you now say openly with your freinds or piers. " I do not wear mens underwear anymore. Its Girl Pants all the way for me now"

 

Do you feel you would be judged by there moral code if you did so? Because of there understanding and binary interpretations of good and bad. Do you feel or know you would be ridiculed or shunned because of it?

 

I would just like to say. That I to judge this as a bit of a strange fetish. Just wearing ladies panties.  But I do not judge to the point of casting damation on you. If  I knew you and you said it to me I wouldnt bat an eyelid. But in reality i would say to myself "Thats a bit strange but who am i to judge" Because thats my conditioning to think of it as odd. Not my fault Its the fault of all of those who i learned from and anyone i have had contact with in my life.  Should this ever change its only with my own binary code being changed by influences from outside. If overnight. Half the population of the world decide to shout from the highest mountain and tallest steeple "Hey we wear ladie pants and  proud of it" Would that change my attidude? I think it would as this action then becomes normal to do so. Therefore rewrites my beliefs. Anything that is regarded as normal can be changed. An example is smoking. Once upon a time Smoking was regarded as a very fashonable and normal thing to do. But now its regarded as Disgusting and bad by many Even now smokers are hearded into little sheds far away from everyone else. because it is seen as a nasty habit and wrong . We have now been conditioned that this is so.

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  • Forum Moderator

Yes I agree! I have noticed that normal varies quite a bit between different communities.

 

I remember the initial excitement of say wearing a bra, but nowadays I feel naked without it when out and about even though I do not really need it. It does feel strange now to wear some male attire and, apart from trousers for some dirty jobs, seldom do.

 

Tracy

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1 hour ago, tracy_j said:

Yes I agree! I have noticed that normal varies quite a bit between different communities.

 

I remember the initial excitement of say wearing a bra, but nowadays I feel naked without it when out and about even though I do not really need it. It does feel strange now to wear some male attire and, apart from trousers for some dirty jobs, seldom do.

 

Tracy

I’ve always feel weird wearing boy clothing, but now so much more than ever. When I was a kid, I had to wear boy clothes, but now, it’s a choice. If I wear women’s clothes in public, society can have issues, and yes, I would be “coming out,” but it’s still a choice. A choice that can hold heavy consequences. I could still do it, since the place I live in normalizes LGBTQ life, but I would be limited beyond this area. The excitement of wearing women’s underwear in public, has turned to a normal feelings, cause I guess I’ve been do It a while,  and it’s now a normal, and not so much a “treat.” 

Todays norm, can be as fluid as the people around us. Of course, there are places stuck in the prehistoric era, but I don’t live there, and it’s a choice to visit places like that. 

Wearing clothing that makes yourself feel good isn’t weird, it shouldn’t, what should make us feel weird, is wearing clothes that make us feel weird. Imo. As long at is doesn’t hurt us or others, do think anything of it. Just always be aware there are crazy people out there , and it doesn’t always matter who you are, they are just plain crazy. 

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20 hours ago, Ellora said:

I’ve always feel weird wearing boy clothing,

 

I don't think it felt wierd as such wearing boy clothing, perhaps more uncomfortable as if nothing fitted. I never really had issue with the differences in clothing but was never allowed to have prettier clothes or bright colours. I loved the time when flourescent colours were in for males as I had brightly coloured trousers and socks. That was the first time I openly wore female clothing as I had some lemon yellow cords which my sister no longer wanted. Funnily their gender was never raised amongst friends or family even though the fittings were the other way round so it was obvious and sometimes made me nervous.

 

As for the crazy people, I have been in some strange places and met people who, in other situations, I wouldn't relax easily with but the just plain crazy ones are unpredictable and can be dangerous to anyone.

 

Tracy

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For sure everything becomes normalized. Because it becomes routine. And your routine is normal. At least to you. Even if it’s not “normal” by societies standard it surely can be to you. 

 

Most of the physical appearance stuff was pretty normalized for me before I started my transition. I’ve had no sexual effects from dressing for a long time.  I was wearing women’s clothes daily for at least a year before hrt. I hadn't owned more than 1 pair of men’s undies in like the last 7 years. And I wore balconette style bra most days too. (At least in the cooler months.) 

But once I came out and started dressing fully every day, it was once again not normal. I was waking up an hour earlier so I had time for getting an outfit together, makeup, hair, and all of that stuff. It was exciting. And different. But even that has worn off now. Now it’s a chore.

Now I yearn for the day when I don’t need any makeup or anything like that to go to work. ??‍♀️  Oh and every day I can’t wait to shed the damned bra! There is nothing fun about bras when they’re required. Lol. 

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I wore a bra for a long time after going full time.  This winter i stopped.  My gals don't seem to mind a bit of bounce and if my nipples protrude though my shirt slightly it doesn't bother me.  I'm comfy.  Being 71years old with breasts still relatively new and pert i'm not worried about long term sagging.  In my 90's, if i make it,  i'm sure i won't care much.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize 

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