Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Irony and Weddings


Recommended Posts

(Disclaimer: I am not out to my family because they are against anything LGBTQ related)

 

So it was a normal family dinner with me and my family sitting down to some dang good soup I'd slaved over today. The topic of conversation? My wedding. Personally, I'd like to get married someday, so I was joking with my brother that because he wasn't being nice to me that he was no longer invited.

 

Then, suddenly, out of the blue, my father chimes in with: "You can't invite any nonbinary people".

 

I'm silent out of shock (Because how does he even know that word!?!?!?)

The rest of my family are silent, but soon start asking questions.

 

Turns out, he'd seen on the news today that Jonathan Van Ness from Queer Eye came out as nonbinary. 

I probably should have found it hurtful, or have been scared, but to be honest, I just laughed. Even if it was an inappropriate moment to do so. 

Because he said that to me, who identifies as a nonbinary gender. Who would be the one of the two people that the wedding is all about.

God, if he knew. ? Guess I'm not allowed to be invited to my own wedding anymore! 

 

Link to comment
  • Admin

Well, if dad is paying for it, I guess he has some say so on the issue, but little does he know how fun some Enby's can be.  If he gets to know a few -------- but I guess he won't.  His loss entirely.  I feel bad, but for now you are having the right attitude about it.   

Link to comment

My mom and dad didn’t go to my wedding because I didn’t finish college first. That set the tone for the rest of of my marriage , with my (ex)wife and kids. They had some regrets later, but it sucks when family isn’t a part of our life choices.

My parents are old old now, so there wouldn’t be much of a discussion about who I am now, nor if and when they find out their granddaughter is a lesbian. If they do feel compelled to say any derogatory about the LGBTQ community, I would probably shut  the comments down with an ultimatum,  that would inform them they have the choice to accept all on my family and friends that may or may not be LGBTQ, or we would not be in contact until they do so. I am at the point in life where I choose not to fall into the oppressive actions of hateful people. I know everyone’s life isn’t there yet, and I hope someday people don’t have to feel threatened by these hateful people. 

Best of luck with your journey.

Link to comment

I forgot to mention , the regret I have for not speaking up a long time ago. At dinner at a Hometown Buffet dinner with my kids and dad, for Father’s Day, my dad made some some comment about gay people, and I didn’t say anything. My kids and I just stopped and stared at each other. I felt bad cause my daughter, who came out to me and her mom, looked at me, and I didn’t say anything at the time. I still feel bad , cause I should have  stuck up for my daughter, and immediately corrected him. Needless to say, the Father’s Day dinners with my dad and my kids became scarce, cause of what was said and not corrected. By not saying anything, it enables others to continue the hate. The haters continue to oppress and the cycle is not broken. 

A couple of months ago my dad asked if my daughter was dating anyone, and I told him yes, a girlfriend of hers, but I don’t think it clicked. He is not both hard of hearing and he is on the verge of dementia, or he is just plain old, old. I’ll make sure he understands when the next opportunity arises. I’m tired of of people like this going on yapping crap and not correcting them. Their loss.

 

Link to comment

Thanks, Ellora. Maybe one day I'll be able to stick up like that for myself and people I love. I'm still very much dependent upon my family right now and I do worry that everything could fall apart quickly since I'm of legal age to be on my own. 

It's so nice to have people who are able to tell you things WILL change. Because it did for them. 

Link to comment
27 minutes ago, Kamarka said:

Thanks, Ellora. Maybe one day I'll be able to stick up like that for myself and people I love. I'm still very much dependent upon my family right now and I do worry that everything could fall apart quickly since I'm of legal age to be on my own. 

It's so nice to have people who are able to tell you things WILL change. Because it did for them. 

You’re welcome @Kamarka, I understand completely about keeping the peace. I’ve done that in soooo many ways with my parents, my contact with my ex (for the children) work, friends, you name it. We are here for you, as you mentioned, it does get better. Always go at your own pace as long as it is safe to do so. I wish I could’ve had the courage a long time ago, but the present time is what counts. I am doing much better, and baby stepping it when I can. ?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   10 Members, 0 Anonymous, 152 Guests (See full list)

    • Abigail Genevieve
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • MaeBe
    • MaryEllen
    • Ashley0616
    • MaybeRob
    • Ivy
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • Timi
    • Betty K
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,023
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Delaney
    Newest Member
    Delaney
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bebhar
      Bebhar
      (41 years old)
    2. caelensmom
      caelensmom
      (40 years old)
    3. Jani
      Jani
      (70 years old)
    4. Jessicapitts
      Jessicapitts
      (37 years old)
    5. klb046
      klb046
      (30 years old)
  • Posts

    • KathyLauren
      <Moderator hat on>  I think that, at this point we need to get the thread back onto the topic, which is the judge's ruling on the ballot proposition.  If there is more to be said on the general principles of gendered spaces etc., please discuss them, carefully and respectfully, in separate threads. <Moderator hat off>
    • Abigail Genevieve
      People who have no understanding of transgender conditions should not be making policy for people dealing with it. Since it is such a small percentage of the population, and each individual is unique, and their circumstances are also unique, each situation needs to be worked with individually to see that the best possible solution is implemented for those involved. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      No.  You are getting stuck on one statement and pulling it out of context.   Trans kids have rights, but so do non-trans kids.  That conflict is best worked out in the individual situation. 
    • MaeBe
      I get the concept, I believe. You're trying to state that trans kids need to or should be excluded from binary gender spaces and that you acknowledge that answers to accommodate those kids may not be found through policy. I disagree with the capability of "penetration" as being the operative delimiter in the statement, however. I contest this statement is poorly chosen at best and smacks of prejudice at worst. That it perpetuates certain stereotypes, whether that was the intent or not.   Frankly, all kids should have the right to privacy in locker rooms, regardless of gender, sexuality, or anatomy. They should also have access to exercise and activities that other kids do and allow them to socialize in those activities. The more kids are othered, extracted, or barred from the typical school day the more isolated and stigmatized they become. That's not healthy for anyone, the excluded for obvious reasons and the included for others--namely they get to be the "haves" and all that entails.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Context.  Read the context.  Good grief.
    • MaeBe
      Please don't expect people to read manifold pages of fiction to understand a post.   There was a pointed statement made, and I responded to it. The statement used the term penetration, not "dissimilar anatomy causing social discomfiture", or some other reason. It was extended as a "rule" across very different social situations as well, locker and girl's bedrooms. How that term is used in most situations is to infer sexual contact, so most readers would read that and think the statement is that we "need to keep trans girl's penises out of cis girls", which reads very closely to the idea that trans people are often portrayed as sexual predators.   I understand we can't always get all of our thoughts onto the page, but this doesn't read like an under-cooked idea or a lingual short cut.
    • Ashley0616
      I shopped online in the beginning of transition. I had great success with SHEIN and Torrid!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Have you read the rest of what I wrote?   Please read between the lines of what I said about high school.  Go over and read my Taylor story.  Put two and two together.   That is all I will say about that.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I feel like I lost my husband," Lois told the therapist,"I want the man I married." Dr. Smith looked at Odie, sitting there in his men's clothing, looking awkward and embarrassed. "You have him.  This is just a part of him you did not know about. Or did not face." She turned to Odie,"Did you tear my wedding dress on our wedding night?" He admitted it.  She had a whole catalog of did-you and how-could you.  Dr. Smith encouraged her to let it all out. Thirty years of marriage.  Strange makeup in the bathroom.  The kids finding women's laundry in the laundry room. There was reconciliation. "What do we do now?" Dr. Smith said they had to work that out.  Odie began wearing women's clothing when not at work.  They visited a cross-dressers' social club but it did not appeal to them.  The bed was off limits to cross dressing.  She had limits and he could respect her limits.  Visits to relatives would be with him in men's clothing.    "You have nail polish residue," a co-worker pointed out.  Sure enough, the bottom of his left pinky nail was bright pink  His boss asked him to go home and fix it.  He did.   People were talking, he was sure, because he doubted he was anywhere as thorough as he wanted to be.  It was like something in him wanted to tell everyone what he was doing, and he was sloppy.   His boss dropped off some needed paperwork on a Saturday unexpectedly and found Odie dressed in a house dress and wig.  "What?" the boss said, shook his head, and left.  None of his business.   "People are talking," Lois said. "They are asking about this," she pointed to his denim skirt. "This seems to go past or deeper than cross dressing."   "Yes.  I guess we need some counseling."  And they went.
    • April Marie
      You look wonderful!!! A rose among the roses.
    • Ashley0616
      Mine would be SHEIN as much as I have bought from them lol.
    • MaeBe
      This is the persistence in thinking of trans girls as predators and, as if, they are the only kind of predation that happens in locker rooms. This is strikingly close to the dangerous myth that anatomy corresponds with sexuality and equates to gender.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      At the same time there might be mtf boys who transitioned post-puberty who really belong on the girls' teams because they have more similarities there than with the boys, would perform at the same level, and might get injured playing with the bigger, stronger boys.   I well remember being an androgynous shrimp in gym class that I shared with seniors who played on the football team.  When PE was no longer mandatory, I was no longer in PE. They started some mixed PE classes the second semester, where we played volleyball and learned bowling and no longer mixed with those seniors, boys and girls together.
    • Timi
      Leggings and gym shorts, sweatshirt, Handker wild rag. Listening to new Taylor Swift album while strolling through the rose garden in the park. 
    • Ivy
      Grey short sleeved dress under a beige pinafore-type dress.  Black thigh highs (probably look like tights).  It was cool this morning so a light black colored sweater.  
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...