Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Am I Too Long In The Tooth


Michelle PJ

Recommended Posts

Hello All,

 

So, hello from Northern New Jersey.   it’s a dark and stormy night here with over an inch of rain having fallen throughout the day.   Drenching rain has become the new normal around here..    We desperately need some warm dry days to help cut down on the moisture issues.   OK!   After that friendly intro and my attempt to be just an average fellow, I want to reveal a few things about me and hope I can get some helpful feedback and/or advise.

 

I am in my mid 60s, still working full time, separated from my wife and now very interested in HRT.   I am a long, long time CD.    It is amazing how alluring and exciting is the prospect of pursuing this course of treatment.   The clinic I went to is just waiting for the evaluation and “letter” that would give support to an informed consent process that I initiated.    The young trans brain I possess is anxious to get on with this.   My older male brain is saying that this would be a disaster.   For instance, resulting in the loss of relationship with family members, particularly my son and his 2 yr old daughter.   A likely loss of my best male friend of 40 years.   Let’s also add my older sister who would definitely not be supportive.   I do have a colleague at work who is very supportive.    

 

My fantasy is is that I could enjoy the remaking GOOD years of my life presenting as female, and living the life of a female for most of my days.   I also fantasize that I could shed the female role when needed for critical family functions. After divorce I see myself adopting a feminine household and hoping to fit in the best I can in a NE Pennsylvania community.   I will admit that my cowardly self will be tip toeing around the edges of relationships and everyday life to avoid conflict.   And here is the thing!   I must be crazy to enter into such a world!    Maybe it would be better to drown my (I must say minimal dysphoria) in martinis and live the rest of my life without such angst!

 

whew!   I will still love women’s clothing, makeup, their curvy bodies and always want to be like them.

 

Have a great night!

Michelle

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Admin

There's no such thing as "too long in the tooth."  There's a woman close to where I live who started her transition in her 80s.  

 

Losing relationships is an unfortunate part of the process for some, but for many those people come around eventually.  They realize the loss is entirely theirs.  Whether those close to you fall into that category we can't predict.

 

I do want to speak seriously to something you said.  Half in jest, as they say.  Addiction is a very real risk among the trans population - once a substance starts being used to mask or otherwise cope with gender issues, it's especially easy to form a habit.  While the alternative is almost always harder, it's also always recommended.

 

Welcome aboard!  Please dive into any conversation that strikes you and ask questions as they arise.

Link to comment

Sounds like you’ve been able to keep some secrets for quite some time now. My friend just commented on me being able to keep my secret(s) for a long time too. My family and some friends would be at odds with this. My kids would be find, but I don’t want to hear it from my ex ?. I’ve come to a time in my life where I don’t want to waste anymore time. But I don’t feel the need to tell everyone. I don’t really have to tell anyone, but that hasn’t stopped me from buying 8-10 drawerful of women’s clothing, and a collection of fav lipstick and makeup. I am comfortable dressing at home for now, and in time, I will venture out into the neighborhood, possibly as soon as Pride next month. I enjoy talking to my therapist, doctor, my friend, and everybody here at TransgenderPulse!! 

Enjoy life the best you can, but your never too old, especially if it makes you happy! You have to think of yourself at some point, but don’t rush if you don’t need to. Baby steps.

Best of luck in your journey!!!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Michelle,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf ?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Greetings Michelle, Never to old to be happy.  Welcome. 

 

Cheers, Jani

Link to comment
  • Admin

I am in my 70's with GCS at age 65.  HRT and LIFE began at 61 after I figured out that the booze was not going to work, and in my case it was $400+ of cheap stuff per month.  (Dang near killed myself and "the kid" who's been having a great time since I quit drinking.)  Don't decide ahead of time who is going to run away from you is my rule of thumb, and be ready to get rid of a few who decide to stay who will become pains in their own way.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I was 63 when i went full time and started HRT.  Speaking to a gender therapist helped me a great deal.  I had stopped drowning myself in alcohol 5 years prior to transition.  In fact i found a great deal of support in the rooms of AA.

Now at 71 i can say that the last years of my life have been wonderful.  Simply being able to be honest and open despite some negativity has made my long tooth years great.  Speaking of which i see my dentist next week.  they are so supportive and wonderful.

Anyway from a more southerly Jersey Girl welcome to the forums.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
19 hours ago, Michelle PJ said:

My fantasy is is that I could enjoy the remaking GOOD years of my life presenting as female, and living the life of a female for most of my days.   I also fantasize that I could shed the female role when needed for critical family functions.

 

Hi, Michelle,

 

If you do go with HRT, then once you start developing breasts, it's less likely you could "shed the female role" for family functions.  There are certainly other options that would allow you to do that kind of thing.  I'm an example of that (age 70, and non-binary).  Keep reading as much as you can on your options (and talking with others here and elsewhere).  Good luck with your journey!

 

Astrid  

Link to comment

I live by the motto that it's never too late. With that said, medically transitioning with HRT is a commitment and some feminizing effects on the body are irreversible, most notably, breast development. Seek out a gender therapist to help you sort things out. A reputable doc will follow WPATH health protocols and won't start anyone on HRT unless they have a referral from a licensed psychosocial therapist stating the person's gender dysphoria is well documented and that they are mentally capable of giving consent. Best wishes!

Link to comment

Hello all you kind individuals that responded,

After tg focused therapy tonight, I am feeling more inclined to take the plunge.   We shall see where this leads us. 

 

Thank you!

 

Michelle

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I am glad you are getting therapy.  Don't forget that while we may have started a bit later than some life isn't a race.  Try to relax and enjoy each step.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 128 Guests (See full list)

    • Ivy
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • April Marie
    • Ashley0616
    • MaeBe
    • KathyLauren
    • Jet McCartney
    • Adrianna Danielle
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,940
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Raelyn
    Newest Member
    Raelyn
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      I like them too.  We had them growing up.  But my father's family were Swedes.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Oh my!  I guess it just goes to show how different tastes can be. Since we don't live near the ocean, Seafood is a rare luxury. We absolutely love pickled herring! Especially my husband and my GF, I guess it's a Ferman/Russian cultural thing.  But most of the kids like it too, and a jar wouldn't last in the pantry for long 😆
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I think the key to that is just not minding eating the same thing repeatedly. Since we produce a lot of our own food here, we end up eating what is in season at the moment. So, when the yellow squash is ripening, we end up fixing squash 20 different ways. When the strawberries are ready, we eat lots of strawberries. It's kind of a different mindset to eat in season when it has become such a part of American culture but the grocery store has everything we want all the time. Like grapes in December.  My family does even things out a little bit by having a greenhouse so we have some fresh things in the winter, but it's not a 100% fix.
    • KathyLauren
      My brothers and I had to eat what was on the plate.  All of it, and nothing else.  Pickiness was not tolerated.  Some of our least favourite were liver and onions, sauerkraut, and especially rollmops (pickled herring).  We finally protested enough to persuade our mother not to serve rollmops, though she kept a jar in the pantry for years afterwards, as a threat if we didn't behave.
    • Carolyn Marie
      I'll go first.  My favorite team is the Yankees.  Loved them since I was a kid.  I was born in NYC so, yeah.  I know everyone loves to hate them, and that's OK.  I just love baseball in general.  It's a game of traditions, strategy, power, grace and skill.   Play Ball!!  ⚾   Carolyn Marie
    • Ashley0616
      I guess you do have a good point. It's just hard to try and not have the same meals over and over again. 
    • Willow
      Hi   I’ll weigh in on being picky about food.  Yes, and I was brought up that way.  We didn’t have to eat everything our parents ate.  They had a number of things they ate that they figured we wouldn’t eat, an acquired taste things or one or the other didn’t like them too.   even as an adult there are many things I won’t eat.  In my defense, there are different things my wife won’t eat.   the weird thing is that after being in E, my tastes have changed.  Sweet, sour, salty or bland, if I eat or drink too much of any one thing and I have to counter act it.   Willow
    • Ashley0616
      I have shared my doses and levels a lot and no one has said anything. Yeah I put alarms on my phone to make sure I don't miss a dose. I tend to forget a lot of stuff on what needs to be done. I have been also using the calendar on my phone a lot. I missed an appointment because I didn't put it in my calendar. 
    • Ashley0616
      Feeling better than I did yesterday
    • MaeBe
      It's official. My doctor wants me retested after the last results (too high). The test, that she scheduled, was likely too close to the dose. She did tell me to keep the increased dose instead of reverting to my old one, probably because my "too high" wasn't that high. I don't know what the forum's stance is on results, knowing full well the rules against sharing dosage, so I'll keep those under wraps until I know if it's OK to share those. Less to say, it was over the range she feels comfortable with by about 50%, but taken a day earlier than the midpoint value she was expecting. Grains of salt everywhere!   Of course I messed everything up too, missing my dose for the first time, yesterday. I had to re-reschedule the lab I setup yesterday to Monday from Saturday after taking my shot this morning to avoid the same issue with the testing. I woke up and thought, "Thursday, what do I have to do for work today? OH -crap-, IT'S THURSDAY! I missed my shot yesterday!"   Anyhoo. Question for the ladies: does anyone else get a mild zen-like high after their shots/doses? My brain feels lighter and I'm happier and I feel a lot more girlie this morning. 💃
    • MaeBe
      I'm into my fourth month of HRT and just titrated up in dosage after my last checkup. This is my life. 🤭   I have yet to grow out of my B cup bras, but I have noticed more fullness, having started with gynecomastia. I am seeing less gapping in bras with my right breast, which has always been smaller than my left. My areolae are slightly pronounced/projected now, that are larger but not vastly greater in circumference, and I have noticed little to no nipple changes beyond their painful sensitivity.
    • Ashley0616
      @Ivy that is a great point! Great post!
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      -It's not a sprint it's an endurance.  -It won't happen overnight. -Seek a gender therapist. -You might lose a lot of support but hang in there. If they truly loved and cared about you they would stay. -Retail therapy helps and plus it builds your wardrobe and shoes. -Makeup is an artwork. It takes lots of practice to do it right and watch YouTube videos on how to put it on or someone who is knowledgeable. -You are going to have roller coaster emotions so don't rush anything. 
    • Ivy
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...