New and nervous

[JustineM]

Hello everyone, I’m Justine/Justin. Recently (just in the last couple weeks) I’ve come to accept that I am a fluid transgender MtF. I’ve honestly know for about 30 years or so, just tried to ignore or push it away. This was really due to being in a VERY Christian household. But I’ve reached the point where I just can’t hide it anymore. 

I’ve come out to a very select group of close friends who have all been very supportive of me, even so far as to offer makeup lessons. Ive also told my wife, who’s first response was “You aren’t getting out of this marriage.” (I love that woman) 

I don’t know how much I’ll post initially, as I’m still trying to come to terms with everything but I’m just glad I found this resource to help me. Hopefully I can be just as helpful to someone myself.

[Jani]

Welcome Justine.  Your wife sounds like a real sweetheart.  Unfortunately she's probably unaware of what the future holds.  Take it slow and definitely keep the lines of communication wide open.  Its a new world for you and her, although you've known for quite some time.  That's great that you have a group of supportive friends.  

 

There are no minimums as to how often you post but we would love to hear from you and I'm sure you would fit in with the conversation!  Please join in when you can.

 

Cheers, Jani

[ToniTone]

Hi Justine and welcome! This community is great, everyone here is pretty helpful and friendly. Check it out, and open up as much as you feel. 

 

I love your wife's reaction. I can just imagine the sass as she said it. It's awesome to hear she has conviction about maintaining the relationship regardless of the bomb you dropped on her! Like Jani said though, take it all nice and slow and keep an open dialogue. Communication is important in any relationship. 

 

~Toni ❤️

[Janae]

Welcome Justine.  This is a great forum and lots of good advice and help.

 

i agree with Jani and Toni.  Don’t rush things with your wife.  This is an exiting time for sure, but it can be stressful for our loved ones.

 

Janae

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Justine.  It can all seem pretty overwhelming at first, so like my friends have said, take your time, take a breath, and read everything you can about this journey that we're all on.  There is a lot to learn.  Your wife sounds like a peach, but remember that she will be transitioning along with you, if that's what you decide to do, and it can be very hard on even the most supportive spouses.  But staying together is doable, because many of us have done it.

 

Looking forward to hearing more about you, and from you.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[JustineM]

7 hours ago, ToniTone said:

 

 

I love your wife's reaction. I can just imagine the sass as she said it. 

 

~Toni ❤️

Oh it was definitely there! ? She has been amazing.  

And I have been taking it slow. It’s a little overwhelming at the moment. But I’ve just been experimenting with one little thing at a time to find what I’m comfortable with and what works for us both.

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Justine,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf ?

[Charlize]

Welcome Justine.

Trans Pulse helped me find my path.  Hopefully you will find the same.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[lauraincolumbia]

On 6/19/2019 at 11:15 PM, JustineM said:

Ive also told my wife, who’s first response was “You aren’t getting out of this marriage.” (I love that woman) 

 

Welcome Justine!

Your wife isn't letting you out of your marriage, but will she support you in being who you are?   I hope so, if not, it can be difficult

Sorry, if I'm a downer....

[Susan R]

On 6/19/2019 at 8:15 PM, JustineM said:

This was really due to being in a VERY Christian household. But I’ve reached the point where I just can’t hide it anymore. 

Welcome Justine! Just know that you're not alone.  Many of us including myself had an upbringing that refused to deal with that reality of what we know now as transgenderism.  My parents refused to accept my need to dress and be a woman.  In their defense, I did deny it many times because I was confronted with anger and disgust...but who wouldn't?  That upbringing kept me from realizing who I was for a very long time.  I'm very happy that you have finally come to this realization in your journey and hope the best for you and your wife.  It looks like you may have a very good chance to make it work!  Communication is the key!

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

[JustineM]

3 hours ago, lauraincolumbia said:

Welcome Justine!

Your wife isn't letting you out of your marriage, but will she support you in being who you are?   I hope so, if not, it can be difficult

Sorry, if I'm a downer....

My wife has been amazingly supportive, more than I really thought she would be. She’s even pointed out a couple things I hadn’t thought of yet (wigs and such) and taught me a little on the makeup. 

 

And you’re not a downer, just realistic. 

[KymmieL]

My wife has said she won't divorcee me, it would be too hard for her to train a new one. LOL.

 

Welcome to Transpulse. We have quite the knowledge base here to pull from. I learn something new just about every time I log on.

 

Kymmie

[Astrid]

On 6/20/2019 at 8:04 AM, JustineM said:

But I’ve just been experimenting with one little thing at a time to find what I’m comfortable with and what works for us both.

Welcome, Justine!  I recommend that you communicate with your wife before/as you experiment, so that you don't surprise her unexpectedly.  This helps build confidence that you two really are in this together, and that it's not "all about you" (which is an all-too-common reaction from spouses).

 

Sending you best wishes as your journey progresses!

 

Astrid

[JustineM]

My wife surprised me with a makeup brush set this morning

 

[Susan R]

What a nice surprise.  You have a very thoughtful wife.  That's such a wonderful way for her to say she loves you for you!

 

Susan R?

[Jani]

Now you have to get her to teach you how to use them! 

[JustineM]

Just now, Jani said:

Now you have to get her to teach you how to use them! 

My wife has never been a “girly” woman. I think I’ve seen her wear makeup 1 time outside our wedding. Lol. I do however have a friend whose daughter has offered to teach me. In fact her first reaction when she overheard me talking to her Mom about it was to ask when she could come over and do my makeup for me. ?

[Jani]

Interesting that she would purchase the brushes for you.  Sounds like you have a good teacher lined up! 
 

[JustineM]

Well for the first time I sort of left the house with makeup and leggings, just out in my yard but still lol. Also a friend is bringing her daughter over tomorrow for some makeup lessons. 

[Jani]

Great.  Got to start somewhere even if it is in your own yard.  That's what I did, a zillion years ago!  (bringing out the trash)

 

Have fun tomorrow!  Remember to smile and not be nervous.  Enjoy every minute.

 

Cheers, Jani

[Ellora]

That’s great! Baby steps always count!

This post made me think of the past count of nights when a certain chihuahua enjoys taking her sweet time, even if it’s midnight ?. I end going out in the backyard to coax her back with a flashlight in hand. I don’t want to turn on the lights cause I’m not that brave yet, ? The funny thing is, I don’t live here, so it’s my friends neighbors, not mine. It doesn’t make a difference, cause the neighbors are asleep anyway, ? It makes me feel kinda good, cause it’s the first time Ive been outside in women’s clothing. 

I am definitely happy for you, I would love to go out during daylight.

 

[Kirsten]

That’s a big step to take! Congrats!! I can remember in my younger years heading out to the back stairs of my apartment in full female mode to smoke butts hoping to not get seen but wishing I would be caught at the same time. ?

Try taking a ride in the car sometime! I think that was my next step. Short moments of people seeing you at streetlights or while passing. But wear flats. It’s not easy driving in tall heels. ?

[JustineM]

Wow! My friends 13 y/o daughter came over and gave me makeup lessons today. And I look pretty good if I do say so myself. She is a very talented makeup artist. But her and her Mom also gave me a ton of makeup, so I have a lot more options now lol. And I remembered to do something about my hair before I took a pic this time. 

[Lexi C]

k face a 10 but you need a wig..I know from whence  I speak , since I am a middle age bald woman and TG for vicki advice she hook me up with a great wig website...so give her a holler..Be proud , stay strong and kick ass

[JustineM]

7 hours ago, Alex C said:

k face a 10

Wow thank you so much

but you need a wig

Yeah definitely need one I agree. I’m just glad this picture didn’t look like a mad scientist who stuck her finger in a light socket. Lol

.Be proud , stay strong and kick ass

 

Thank you and you as well