Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

New and nervous


JustineM

Recommended Posts

Hello everyone, I’m Justine/Justin. Recently (just in the last couple weeks) I’ve come to accept that I am a fluid transgender MtF. I’ve honestly know for about 30 years or so, just tried to ignore or push it away. This was really due to being in a VERY Christian household. But I’ve reached the point where I just can’t hide it anymore. 

I’ve come out to a very select group of close friends who have all been very supportive of me, even so far as to offer makeup lessons. Ive also told my wife, who’s first response was “You aren’t getting out of this marriage.” (I love that woman) 

I don’t know how much I’ll post initially, as I’m still trying to come to terms with everything but I’m just glad I found this resource to help me. Hopefully I can be just as helpful to someone myself.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Justine.  Your wife sounds like a real sweetheart.  Unfortunately she's probably unaware of what the future holds.  Take it slow and definitely keep the lines of communication wide open.  Its a new world for you and her, although you've known for quite some time.  That's great that you have a group of supportive friends.  

 

There are no minimums as to how often you post but we would love to hear from you and I'm sure you would fit in with the conversation!  Please join in when you can.

 

Cheers, Jani

Link to comment

Hi Justine and welcome! This community is great, everyone here is pretty helpful and friendly. Check it out, and open up as much as you feel. 

 

I love your wife's reaction. I can just imagine the sass as she said it. It's awesome to hear she has conviction about maintaining the relationship regardless of the bomb you dropped on her! Like Jani said though, take it all nice and slow and keep an open dialogue. Communication is important in any relationship. 

 

~Toni ❤️

Link to comment

Welcome Justine.  This is a great forum and lots of good advice and help.

 

i agree with Jani and Toni.  Don’t rush things with your wife.  This is an exiting time for sure, but it can be stressful for our loved ones.

 

Janae

Link to comment
  • Admin

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Justine.  It can all seem pretty overwhelming at first, so like my friends have said, take your time, take a breath, and read everything you can about this journey that we're all on.  There is a lot to learn.  Your wife sounds like a peach, but remember that she will be transitioning along with you, if that's what you decide to do, and it can be very hard on even the most supportive spouses.  But staying together is doable, because many of us have done it.

 

Looking forward to hearing more about you, and from you.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
7 hours ago, ToniTone said:

 

 

I love your wife's reaction. I can just imagine the sass as she said it. 

 

~Toni ❤️

Oh it was definitely there! ? She has been amazing.  

And I have been taking it slow. It’s a little overwhelming at the moment. But I’ve just been experimenting with one little thing at a time to find what I’m comfortable with and what works for us both.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Justine,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf ?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Justine.

Trans Pulse helped me find my path.  Hopefully you will find the same.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
On 6/19/2019 at 11:15 PM, JustineM said:

Ive also told my wife, who’s first response was “You aren’t getting out of this marriage.” (I love that woman) 

 

Welcome Justine!

Your wife isn't letting you out of your marriage, but will she support you in being who you are?   I hope so, if not, it can be difficult

Sorry, if I'm a downer....

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
On 6/19/2019 at 8:15 PM, JustineM said:

This was really due to being in a VERY Christian household. But I’ve reached the point where I just can’t hide it anymore. 

Welcome Justine! Just know that you're not alone.  Many of us including myself had an upbringing that refused to deal with that reality of what we know now as transgenderism.  My parents refused to accept my need to dress and be a woman.  In their defense, I did deny it many times because I was confronted with anger and disgust...but who wouldn't?  That upbringing kept me from realizing who I was for a very long time.  I'm very happy that you have finally come to this realization in your journey and hope the best for you and your wife.  It looks like you may have a very good chance to make it work!  Communication is the key!

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

Link to comment
3 hours ago, lauraincolumbia said:

Welcome Justine!

Your wife isn't letting you out of your marriage, but will she support you in being who you are?   I hope so, if not, it can be difficult

Sorry, if I'm a downer....

My wife has been amazingly supportive, more than I really thought she would be. She’s even pointed out a couple things I hadn’t thought of yet (wigs and such) and taught me a little on the makeup. 

 

And you’re not a downer, just realistic. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

My wife has said she won't divorcee me, it would be too hard for her to train a new one. LOL.

 

Welcome to Transpulse. We have quite the knowledge base here to pull from. I learn something new just about every time I log on.

 

Kymmie

Link to comment
On 6/20/2019 at 8:04 AM, JustineM said:

But I’ve just been experimenting with one little thing at a time to find what I’m comfortable with and what works for us both.

Welcome, Justine!  I recommend that you communicate with your wife before/as you experiment, so that you don't surprise her unexpectedly.  This helps build confidence that you two really are in this together, and that it's not "all about you" (which is an all-too-common reaction from spouses).

 

Sending you best wishes as your journey progresses!

 

Astrid

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

What a nice surprise.  You have a very thoughtful wife.  That's such a wonderful way for her to say she loves you for you!

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Now you have to get her to teach you how to use them! 

Link to comment
Just now, Jani said:

Now you have to get her to teach you how to use them! 

My wife has never been a “girly” woman. I think I’ve seen her wear makeup 1 time outside our wedding. Lol. I do however have a friend whose daughter has offered to teach me. In fact her first reaction when she overheard me talking to her Mom about it was to ask when she could come over and do my makeup for me. ?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Interesting that she would purchase the brushes for you.  Sounds like you have a good teacher lined up! 
 

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Well for the first time I sort of left the house with makeup and leggings, just out in my yard but still lol. Also a friend is bringing her daughter over tomorrow for some makeup lessons. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Great.  Got to start somewhere even if it is in your own yard.  That's what I did, a zillion years ago!  (bringing out the trash)

 

Have fun tomorrow!  Remember to smile and not be nervous.  Enjoy every minute.

 

Cheers, Jani

Link to comment

That’s great! Baby steps always count!

This post made me think of the past count of nights when a certain chihuahua enjoys taking her sweet time, even if it’s midnight ?. I end going out in the backyard to coax her back with a flashlight in hand. I don’t want to turn on the lights cause I’m not that brave yet, ? The funny thing is, I don’t live here, so it’s my friends neighbors, not mine. It doesn’t make a difference, cause the neighbors are asleep anyway, ? It makes me feel kinda good, cause it’s the first time Ive been outside in women’s clothing. 

I am definitely happy for you, I would love to go out during daylight.

 

Link to comment

That’s a big step to take! Congrats!! I can remember in my younger years heading out to the back stairs of my apartment in full female mode to smoke butts hoping to not get seen but wishing I would be caught at the same time. ?

Try taking a ride in the car sometime! I think that was my next step. Short moments of people seeing you at streetlights or while passing. But wear flats. It’s not easy driving in tall heels. ?

Link to comment

Wow! My friends 13 y/o daughter came over and gave me makeup lessons today. And I look pretty good if I do say so myself. She is a very talented makeup artist. But her and her Mom also gave me a ton of makeup, so I have a lot more options now lol. And I remembered to do something about my hair before I took a pic this time. 

31038FA2-997B-4C83-9510-CD0B3D6B7C33.jpeg

Link to comment

k face a 10 but you need a wig..I know from whence  I speak , since I am a middle age bald woman and TG for vicki advice she hook me up with a great wig website...so give her a holler..Be proud , stay strong and kick ass

Link to comment
7 hours ago, Alex C said:

k face a 10

Wow thank you so much

but you need a wig

Yeah definitely need one I agree. I’m just glad this picture didn’t look like a mad scientist who stuck her finger in a light socket. Lol

.Be proud , stay strong and kick ass

 

Thank you and you as well

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 143 Guests (See full list)

    • Mirrabooka
    • April Marie
    • Ashley0616
    • MaybeRob
    • MirandaB
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,939
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Chaidoesart
    Newest Member
    Chaidoesart
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Mirrabooka
      ^ Your story gives inspiration to others.
    • April Marie
      Growing stronger and confident every day.
    • April Marie
      So, yesterday's epiphany was that girl jeans fit me much nicer than boy jeans. Well, duh! So this girl is switching over to wearing girl jeans pretty much full time. I'll keep my others for work jeans. We went out to dinner last evening and I was in androgynous mode...wearing a pair of Bandolino Amy straight leg denim pants. Score!
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!! The coffee upload has started for me but just in the early stages so I'm barely coherent at this point.   You've been missed @Willow - I hope all is going well with your wife and at work.   @awkward-yet-sweet We love to make beans with rice - one of our favorite meals.   No big plans for me today. Small projects around our place and probably some reading. We're going to have some rain off and on, and the temps are still too low for a lot of outdoor work.   Be safe and enjoy this beautiful day we've been given!!
    • Willow
      Hi   boy you back to work and miss lots.  No time to catch up right now. But I will.   just wanted to let everyone know I’m still here.   willow
    • Davie
      "No one feels alone in a bookstore."
    • Davie
      Thanks, @VickySGVfor some truth. Hatred may speak loudly in a political agenda, but there is always love, there is always love.
    • VickySGV
      Doesn't this belong over in the Humor Topic??  Grim humor I admit, but it has the dark humor picture of the folks protesting the Sacramento Sanctuary Laws.  If the world is going to end next week why are these people so concerned about someone staying fertile and able to have children??   Crazy.
    • VickySGV
      Once again the opposition is telling scary, unfounded  baloney about what IS being done to any Trans Person.  The truth about the very little and very cautious treatments just will not sink into them because it will sink them.  They bully their own Cis children unmercifully to fit into their molds, and that is gruesome in itself. I am happy to say I know that Trans children and all Trans folks in the area have access to wonderful care based on what some of my former State colleagues who have Trans family members and fellow employees there in Sacramento keep telling me about. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/local-politics/republicans-gop-ballot-initiatives-target-transgender-people/73-c47ad7ee-40ca-43e0-bb83-07e662eb1029   The reason CO has a Dem super majority is b/c it's a very blue state. A ballot initiative is going to go absolutely nowhere. They're wasting their time.   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/sacramento-sanctuary-city-transgender-people-rcna145287     Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      good for you dear. my guess is soreness is good sign things are going on there. water them n hope. smiles   actually was speaking to someone other day n they said the growth leveled off after a few years  which coincided with a few years of very high stress..n then when the high stress resolved, she grew another cup size..
    • missyjo
      darling I completely agree. but it will need road testing I'd think.    and I recently asked a surgeon about an idea I had for easier recovery...do a zero depth 1st..recover then add a canal..he said NO. this surgery is hard enough on body to recover, do not do it any more than needed. also said penile inversion usually is sufficient n includes a few centimeters of perineum tissue anyway..so keep the perineum pull through as a reserve technique in case there is a problem with theb penile inversion.    hugs to any who want them
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I can't tell from the article if being trans was part of the motivation for the crime, or whether it was simply incidental to it. Clearly at least one of the perpetrators was known to the victim, which seems to continue the pattern that the most dangerous people for us are often people we know.  😒
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Beans, beans, the musical fruit...   But beans and rice make a complete protein, and a pretty cheap base for any sort of meal. Since two of my partners are Hispanic and one is Asian, we use a lot of rice. Plenty of beans too, although 90% of the time they are on the form of black-eyed peas. That crop grows really well in the South no matter how hot and dry it gets.  And the Native American trio of corn, beans, and squash is a classic.  Actually, those ingredients tend to show clearly whether kids were raised with a healthy diet or not. Kids raised eating those foods luke them. Kids raised without experiencing those foods tend to reject them immediately. Rather strange.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...