Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I finally booked some therapy


reyindium

Recommended Posts

Like others on here, I'm sharing that I've finally gone and made an appointment with a counselor. His title is "Counselor, LMHC-T" and he specializes in LGBTQ issues, particularly transgender. His introduction page on his webpage specifically mentioned how he takes pride in being open and affirming to everyone that enters his office. That really resonated with me, gave me hope, and I dwelled over him for a couple weeks debating whether or not to make an appointment. I struggled a lot because making an appointment felt like a point of no return for me; an official acknowledgement that I need help.

Well, I caved in and called...and I get to see him next Monday! (Wasn't expecting to be seen until August or something). I also wasn't anticipating an emotional reaction to making the appointment but I had one, right there in my car. My eyes welled up and my throat got all tight and I was so stunned by the sense of relief and excitement I had because I was finally doing it. I've put off getting therapy about my gender for years thinking I could just handle it on my own; that it would go away or I could bury it deep enough it wouldn't be a daily issue. But my dysphoria only grows along with my discontent. 
And now, I officially have a therapist to help me work through my baggage. Reading about so much success with gender therapy on here only gives me hope for a good outcome for myself.

Thanks for reading!

Link to comment

I have so much lv for you right now...Advice..Be yr self ,open yr mind to all possibilities and never fear truth,,, Step one Therapy, step two( there's is no step two), step three profit...your on yr away...

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I am glad to hear you've made this step!  Regardless of the path we take opening up to a nonjudgemental person can help.  I can speak to the truth of that from my own experience.  After hiding in shame and fear for a lifetime i was able to open up.  Experiences and feelings just poured out.  Like you i cried but also started to feel a new energy i hadn't expected.  

Thank you for sharing here.  Enjoy your journey!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Therapy is such an awesome tool! Really reach inside and share the hard things. They may be scary but they are the things that really make the difference. It truly takes a little practice to get good at therapy. 

Good luck!! Such a great step forward!! 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Yes to Charlize's and Kirsten's posts.  I was so relieved after my first appointment that a weight had been removed from my shoulders I had shared my secret and I was starting on the road to peace within.   Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you well at your upcoming appointment.  

 

Cheers, Jani

Link to comment
20 hours ago, Alex C said:

I have so much lv for you right now...Advice..Be yr self ,open yr mind to all possibilities and never fear truth,,, Step one Therapy, step two( there's is no step two), step three profit...your on yr away...

omg....did you just quote southpark at me? lol epic

#underpantsgnomesftw

310?cb=20100829133317

Link to comment
13 hours ago, Charlize said:

I am glad to hear you've made this step!  Regardless of the path we take opening up to a nonjudgemental person can help.  I can speak to the truth of that from my own experience.  After hiding in shame and fear for a lifetime i was able to open up.  Experiences and feelings just poured out.  Like you i cried but also started to feel a new energy i hadn't expected.  

Thank you for sharing here.  Enjoy your journey!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

I really relate to the feelings you convey on many of your posts on here. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us...I certainly appreciate reading about them. I don't want to spend my life hiding or being ashamed of myself. I'm glad that you were able to move past that and live your best life as your honest self.

Link to comment
12 hours ago, Kirsten said:

Therapy is such an awesome tool! Really reach inside and share the hard things. They may be scary but they are the things that really make the difference. It truly takes a little practice to get good at therapy. 

Good luck!! Such a great step forward!! 

Thank you, Kristen. I have a lot of fear. Right now, all my baggage is cooped up and hidden and frequently neglected or ignored. 

Once I start saying all this out loud to a therapist, I feel like it's going to be Pandora's box. Maybe I'm being melodramatic, but it felt like a life changing moment to make an appointment for gender therapy. It feels like there's no going back; I've hit the point of no return. It's terrifying because I have so much good I could lose and I don't want to ruin my life. But I can't stay as I am either.

iStock_35807926_XLARGE-e1474463368227.jpg

Link to comment
11 hours ago, Jani said:

Yes to Charlize's and Kirsten's posts.  I was so relieved after my first appointment that a weight had been removed from my shoulders I had shared my secret and I was starting on the road to peace within.   Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you well at your upcoming appointment.  

 

Cheers, Jani

Thank you for your well wishes, I appreciate them. I long for inner peace and I know it won't be a brief or easy journey...but I'm proud of myself for taking the first step. What's funny is that making the appointment felt a little like coming out. When I've chosen to share my sexuality or gender identity with someone important, it always seemed to ease a weight I never knew I was dragging around. 

Link to comment
22 hours ago, reyindium said:

and I get to see him next Monday!

Yay!! Congratulations!! I know exactly how you feel. After I decided to make the call, everything else started to fall into place. Then the other appointments came one right after the other. It was scary at first, but it felt soooooo good. 

Im very happy for you! 

Link to comment
2 hours ago, reyindium said:

omg....did you just quote southpark at me? lol epic

#underpantsgnomesftw

310?cb=20100829133317

yup lol

Link to comment

Congratulations, that's good news.

incidentally, we all need help sooner or later.

That first session can be a real wringer, too.

In mine, I opened up and blurted out all this stuff I'd squelched for so long, including feeling insecure that I would be unattractive.

Since then things are going better, I'll get there. You will too.

It just takes time. And we're all running on our own internal clock, doing things when we're ready.

Link to comment
20 hours ago, Ellora said:

Yay!! Congratulations!! I know exactly how you feel. After I decided to make the call, everything else started to fall into place. Then the other appointments came one right after the other. It was scary at first, but it felt soooooo good. 

Im very happy for you! 

Thank you so much. I hope to take things at a slower pace than what you described, but I am so happy to be progressing forward with this. But nervous too. I also hope to feel as good after I've had the appointment. 

6 hours ago, TammyAnne said:

Congratulations, that's good news.

incidentally, we all need help sooner or later.

That first session can be a real wringer, too.

In mine, I opened up and blurted out all this stuff I'd squelched for so long, including feeling insecure that I would be unattractive.

Since then things are going better, I'll get there. You will too.

It just takes time. And we're all running on our own internal clock, doing things when we're ready.

Admitting I needed help was difficult. I tried so hard to manage this on my own.

I'm worried about crying my way through my entire first session. All my repression and high emotions...

 

I don't like crying in front of others. I get really embarrassed by it. And although I know I won't be the first to do it in therapy, I hope it's not going to be the first impression I make.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, reyindium said:

. I hope to take things at a slower pace than what you described,

always go at a pace that works best for you.

Link to comment
On 7/11/2019 at 8:56 PM, reyindium said:

Thank you so much. I hope to take things at a slower pace than what you described, but I am so happy to be progressing forward with this. But nervous too. I also hope to feel as good after I've had the appointment. 

Admitting I needed help was difficult. I tried so hard to manage this on my own.

I'm worried about crying my way through my entire first session. All my repression and high emotions...

 

I don't like crying in front of others. I get really embarrassed by it. And although I know I won't be the first to do it in therapy, I hope it's not going to be the first impression I make.

I have always cried when I got really upset.

But I cry in therapy a lot. I don't think it's bad to do.

Letting go of things is painful sometimes, and many of us have suffered emotionally trying repress or hide our true selves.

Your therapist isn't there for you to make a good impression - just let it all hang out so you can sort through these things.

And don't give up.

Link to comment
10 hours ago, TammyAnne said:

Your therapist isn't there for you to make a good impression

You make an extremely valid point with this and I appreciate you sharing it with me. Thank you!

Link to comment
On 7/14/2019 at 10:48 PM, reyindium said:

You make an extremely valid point with this and I appreciate you sharing it with me. Thank you!

I had to chew on this for a couple of days, forgive me.

I know for myself that I have always been anxious to please others. To a fault. While I suspect that many of us are in that same boat, I won't paper over others' experience.

In trying to sort this stuff out, I/we have to relook/relearn how we relate to others, how we present ourselves, plus get honest feedback about ourselves.

It's hard work. Painful. A real struggle.

A magic wand would solve a lot of things, but I'm all out of those, so the hard slog is what's left to work with.

Link to comment
On 7/20/2019 at 9:50 AM, TammyAnne said:

I had to chew on this for a couple of days, forgive me.

I know for myself that I have always been anxious to please others. To a fault. While I suspect that many of us are in that same boat, I won't paper over others' experience.

In trying to sort this stuff out, I/we have to relook/relearn how we relate to others, how we present ourselves, plus get honest feedback about ourselves.

It's hard work. Painful. A real struggle.

A magic wand would solve a lot of things, but I'm all out of those, so the hard slog is what's left to work with.

I agree with you that we need to be our honest selves to receive the best help and feedback. I was programmed by an abusive stepfather to please others. If I was unsuccessful in doing what was expected of me, my life was hell. So wearing a mask and muting my feelings have become an automatic and ingrained response of mine to social situations. I've struggled for years to break free from this behavior. It's a difficult flaw to overcome. It is also a prime contributor to why I've fluctuated terribly with my gender presentation despite my (closeted) confidence in my identity. Swung from one extreme to another over and over for years because I am perpetually expecting punishment from my parents and others for being myself.

 

So, I took your advice and was simply myself at my appointment. And I ended up appreciating sharing my authenticity, even if that came packaged with some shed tears in front of a stranger.

Link to comment

That's really good news.

I wish you continued success in your path forward.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 174 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • KathyLauren
    • April Marie
    • Mirrabooka
    • Andrea D
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • April Marie
      Good morning, all!!! Cloudy today with some light rain coming. Not a day to work outside.   I will vacuum the house and the head out to our local hardware store after I get cleaned up. Time to buy a new bird feeder for the back porch.   I'm sorry the job didn't work @KymmieL! Hang in there.   It sounds like a busy time for you at work @Willow. Finding reliable people is so hard these days.   Time for another cup of coffee before I start cleaning!!   Enjoy this beautiful day we've been given.  
    • Heather Shay
      RIP Dickie Betts  
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Which  do you pefer to refresh yourself - Music, Movies, Reading, Gaming, Nature, Other?
    • Heather Shay
      HRT visit always NP brings joy.
    • Heather Shay
      Nostalgia is an emotion. It is the feeling of enjoying events from the past. People with nostalgia will often look at or use old things that they were familiar with years ago. This is because people feel more connected to those past times that they enjoyed, usually because it reminds them of how long it has been since they last connected to such past times. Examples where people may have the feeling of nostalgia includes watching old TV shows, using old technology that was very enjoyable, and playing with toys that you played with as a child. These memories are usually misleading, and can make someone wish that they could be young again, even if their childhood was mediocre. Human brains often leave out boring or bad memories, which can cause incorrect feelings about their childhood.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Welcome. Love your photo. Glad you are here and see you've already met 2 of the amazing people here. Hugs
    • Heather Shay
      CAT FACTS A cat's jaw cannot move sideways. The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat   A house cat’s genome is 95.6 percent tiger, and they share many behaviors with their jungle ancestors, says Layla Morgan Wilde, a cat behavior expert and the founder of Cat Wisdom 101. These behaviors include scent marking by scratching, prey play, prey stalking, pouncing, chinning, and urine marking. Cats are believed to be the only mammals who don’t taste sweetness. Cats are nearsighted, but their peripheral vision and night vision are much better than that of humans. Cats are supposed to have 18 toes (five toes on each front paw; four toes on each back paw). Cats can jump up to six times their length. Cats’ claws all curve downward, which means that they can’t climb down trees head-first. Instead, they have to back down the trunk. Cats’ collarbones don’t connect to their other bones, as these bones are buried in their shoulder muscles. Cats have 230 bones, while humans only have 206. Cats have an extra organ that allows them to taste scents on the air, which is why your cat stares at you with her mouth open from time to time. Cats have whiskers on the backs of their front legs, as well. Cats have nearly twice the amount of neurons in their cerebral cortex as dogs. Cats have the largest eyes relative to their head size of any mammal. Cats make very little noise when they walk around. The thick, soft pads on their paws allow them to sneak up on their prey — or you! Cats’ rough tongues can lick a bone clean of any shred of meat. Cats use their long tails to balance themselves when they’re jumping or walking along narrow ledges. Cats use their whiskers to “feel” the world around them in an effort to determine which small spaces they can fit into. A cat’s whiskers are generally about the same width as its body. (This is why you should never, EVER cut their whiskers.) Cats walk like camels and giraffes: They move both of their right feet first, then move both of their left feet. No other animals walk this way. Male cats are more likely to be left-pawed, while female cats are more likely to be right-pawed. Though cats can notice the fast movements of their prey, it often seems to them that slow-moving objects are actually stagnant. Some cats are ambidextrous, but 40 percent are either left- or right-pawed. Some cats can swim. There are cats who have more than 18 toes. These extra-digit felines are referred to as being “polydactyl.”
    • Willow
      Good morning,   I over slept yesterday was a couple minutes late clocking in.  But no breakfast or coffee.  Got caught up but it was go go go all morning.  I had to ask for a refresher on how I was to enter something but once I got a quick answer it came back to me.    @KymmieL sorry Ford didn’t work out.  We are always looking for good reliable people, I could get you a job here but the commute would be rough.  Today I have three audits to get done, plus other things during my shift on top of the regular things.  Since I am opening that puts me in the drivers seat.  The Asst Mgr comes in part way throuh my shift but she will have to handle customers while I do the work she would be doing if she opened. Tail wagging the dog.  Guess she’s getting punished for not following the Mgr’s requests.  They do tend to butt heads a lot.     Butting heads with people is a thing the Asst is known for.   @awkward-yet-sweet do you think just maybe this new graphics request was in the offing?  And why you were asked to go to work with your husband?  Obviously, he cares about you a lot and is trying to do things to help you.   speaking of meeting people @Adrianna Danielle we have a youngish customer who comes in frequently, I’d like to approach her but I’m just not certain yet.  She still dresses male but has long hair and early chest development.  My approach, if I ever decided I should would just be supportive but I really can’t be sure that is what is going on here or what and I would not want to make a big blunder if that’s not what he is doing.  A male with early teen boobs doesn’t want to be noticed.   well, I can’t be late again, I’ve got to leave now.  See you again later for afternoon tea and crumpets or scones. Mmm scones!   lol   Willow
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-health-and-wellness/scotland-pauses-prescriptions-puberty-blockers-transgender-minors-rcna148366     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.huffpost.com/entry/a-second-trump-presidency-would-be-a-nightmare-scenario-for-transgender-people_n_661ff9a9e4b07db21fd5d59b     Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, HIPAA is basically useless for keeping government out of your medical stuff.  It doesn't seem to prevent employers from making workplace medical demands either.  About the only thing it seems to do is keep somebody's sister or spouse from having the tools necessary to help you when you're in trouble.  As usual, government made things worse and added unhelpful red tape.  I really doubt HIPAA will be any use in the area of trans rights either.    Honestly, I don't see anything good will come of this no matter how it goes.  If some state AG's win on this, it will cause issues for trans folks.  If the Feds win on this, it'll be a precedent to stomp on states' rights even more than has already been done.  And I'm not sure which way things go will make a difference when it comes to officials from one state trying to do nasty things to people who have left that state and gone elsewhere.    What a crap sandwich... and no matter which plate it gets served on, "We The People" get to eat it. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...