Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Hello


Pixie

Recommended Posts

So I am not sure how to share this... not directly "Trans" but in a similar situation sorta kinda

 

So I am Pixie, part of a system- we have DID... Dissociative Identity Disorder. Several of us are girls, the body (and several of us) are guys. 
Our host is ok with us getting some of OUR identity out a little more and we're working on that, but so much of the disconnect between the body being male and us girls is the gender issue, and we hope to find support and advice here on some ways to kinda figure out how to like live "out" as US but without like totally making the body JUST female, too... cuz like the host and other guys wouldn't want that and we're trying to be respectful, cooperative, etc. 

I hope it's ok I am here... and that I can find some support from ppl in a similar "this body is NOT what _I_ am" kinda position... Even if we're not the typical kinda situation as most ppl (here or anywhere for that matter). 

 

{\Pixie/}

Link to comment
  • Root Admin

Hello Pixie,

 

Welcome to TransPulse.  :)   Yes, you are very welcome here and just know that you are among friends. We do have members with DID although they haven't been active lately.  Perhaps if you were to present androgynous it might appease your male and female persona's.  That's just my thought. 

Have you ever considered counseling with a gender therapist?  That might be an option you could look into.

Anyway, again, welcome. We're happy that you're here. :)

 

MaryEllen

Link to comment

We are seeing a T every other week, mostly for the DID stuff, but I've voiced concerns over how unfair our situation is- if the body was female... problem solved right? There's almost no such thing as "cross dressing" for girls... we can wear ANYTHING and it's cool... a guy being a little too feminine, however... and it's the end of the freakin world. 

 

Thanks for the welcome. We're hoping to, as we begin to get more cooperation and communication (we've had this forever, only like a year ago learned how diff we are and about this- most of us had NO IDEA, and us that did dramatically under estimated how uncommon it is/we are- I mean everyone talks about "part of me wants..." or "the kid in me..." so didn't realize how very very diff we were). But this IS something that we need to figure out going forward, and trying to find a more... IDK... balanced external opportunity for us to exist, us girls mostly, is something we're interested in, too. 

A "gender therapist"- never head of that specifically, but will totally talk to our T about that, and the issue itself, more. Thanks. :)

Link to comment
  • Admin

Hi Pixie and all.  We have had DID "co-ops" here before and some of us can get our heads into what will help you (plural).  Give us some idea of which part of the group your questions or sharing is from and it will help us though. 

Link to comment

So like we've known how diff we are for like a year now... before MOST of us had no idea about our nature, and our host (trying to not use his name cuz he doesn't even know I'm on this forum site)... he didn't know about us at all until like 10 years ago "meeting us" online, made friends, etc. Found out last April we're like part of him/one with him

 

SO like lately, since making progress communicating, he and I (others will follow suit we hope)... It's so weird to feel like _I_ am cross-dressing wearing HIS clothes when out... his wife is "a hard no" to cross dressing... so that's an issue... but like when _I_ am out, I wanna have like MY stuff... a skirt, dress, girls' shorts, IDK... something... and IDK how to feel about this... cuz the body IS male... but I so am not. 

 

So like, given HIS views, and what _I_ was raised with (inside), too... I am like so confused, so don't know what to like think even... so I am just looking for tips, general support, emotional support too... and maybe like tips to be less "manly" like physically without going "full girl mode" on him (and the other boy parts).

Kinda make sense? 

And yes, HE IS OK with letting us have some stuff- he was ok, for example, with like leggings (even if his wife freaked out at the thought) and like the cutesy girlie ankle socks _I'VE_ got and wear sometimes. 

Link to comment
  • Admin

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Trixie.  We'll do everything we can to help with any questions or problems.  Like my friends have said, we've had DID folks here before, and have some familiarity with the issues that presents for you.  Just let us know what you all need.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

Uh, Pixie... with a P. :)  

Thanks for the warm welcomes and the support everyone! I totally appreciate it! ❤️ 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Pixie.  Glad you've found us.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Welcome Pixie.

 

I was worried I might have DID when I first started this journey, but DID is much more complex than what I am experiencing.  I have a complex very dynamic personality, but I have always been able to say I am just one person.  Since playing table-top role playing games as a kid, I've been a little disappointed that I can't be five or six different people living different lives.  I've got too much of an adventurous spirit to be confined to one person.

 

So, kinda sounds like you need to an outlet for your sprite-ish self.  Since the world seems a little short of groups of nixies, brownies, sylphs and dryads with which to frolic, I am not sure what to suggest.

 

The more elfish side of me greets you warmly, however.

 

Hope you stay and let us get to know you.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Greetings Pixie and welcome to the forum.


Jani

Link to comment
16 hours ago, michelle_kitten said:

Welcome Pixie.

 

I was worried I might have DID when I first started this journey, but DID is much more complex than what I am experiencing.  I have a complex very dynamic personality, but I have always been able to say I am just one person.  Since playing table-top role playing games as a kid, I've been a little disappointed that I can't be five or six different people living different lives.  I've got too much of an adventurous spirit to be confined to one person.

 

So, kinda sounds like you need to an outlet for your sprite-ish self.  Since the world seems a little short of groups of nixies, brownies, sylphs and dryads with which to frolic, I am not sure what to suggest.

 

The more elfish side of me greets you warmly, however.

 

Hope you stay and let us get to know you.

 

So we always knew something was diff.. my "twin sis" and I "inside"... but we kinda didn't realize HOW diff we were. We knew ppl talked about "part of me wants to... " or "part of me likes..." or an "inner child"... and we kinda thought EVERYONE was like us, and we didn't know HOW diff we were. Not until last year when our host was confronted by friends who knew us online as HE did... they'd figured out we were all like one person. And THIS freakout that happened totally shocked all of us- him cuz he didn't know at all, and us cuz we like realized, "wait. we are a TON diff"... 

 

so for gaming, that's so our host, gonna call him Zor (an internet screen name he uses), he LOVES it... and has fun with it- and I think it was a way for US to kinda influence stuff, too... but hard to like tell. 

 

Honestly, it's confusing and super hard work to make sense of several of us sharing one life and body. I totally wouldn't wish this on others. lol ESPECIALLY since it usually comes from trauma early in life- in our case, likely abuse by an uncle- sexual... and then other stuff later after that just added to the mess we became. lol 

Link to comment

Hey Pixie... honestly I am so lost right now, but I  know this:  I have being dealing with other voices in my head that are not helpful to me. If it was not for my Gender Therapist properly would of off myself. So If you feel confused getting a G.T is a great starting point. Good luck be safe and keep us update  this site is a great sounding block and welcome

Link to comment
On 7/16/2019 at 9:18 PM, Alex C said:

Hey Pixie... honestly I am so lost right now, but I  know this:  I have being dealing with other voices in my head that are not helpful to me. If it was not for my Gender Therapist properly would of off myself. So If you feel confused getting a G.T is a great starting point. Good luck be safe and keep us update  this site is a great sounding block and welcome


So like there's a lot more to DID than just voices (our host can hear me inside, but he hasn't learned to talk to me without speaking out loud- and he can't like talk to me when I am out like now- it's a work in progress... )... it's complicated... but it's generally born of early trauma of some sort- often abuse... 

BUT that aside... the various things it causes, like diff parts of identities and all... I can see where ppl even without DID have things like that and it's just as confusing I'm sure. I mean, I've sorta kinda known for most of our life... but didn't REALLY understand it- so it was a shock when I found out how diff we are... 
 

Link to comment

wow...Thanks for clearing up...here hoping you get the best of both worlds..G.B stay strong and be proud

Link to comment

hi. im assuming you'd still get dysphoria when some of you switch into the body (sorry idk any of the terms), so people here can probably help you.

best of luck

-anna

Link to comment
On 7/16/2019 at 4:43 PM, Pixie said:

Honestly, it's confusing and super hard work to make sense of several of us sharing one life and body. I totally wouldn't wish this on others. lol ESPECIALLY since it usually comes from trauma early in life- in our case, likely abuse by an uncle- sexual... and then other stuff later after that just added to the mess we became. lol 

 

I can only begin to imagine what it is like.   I am so sorry to hear about the abuse as well.  I've had my own journey with that.  It helps me to think of myself as a survivor.  I am not the person I would have been had I not been abused, and that is sad.  At the same time, I am strong and resilient for having come through it.  It never ceases to amaze me the lengths human beings will go to survive.  While your situation is complicated, and I would imagine frustrating, it is also a testament to your will to keep going, even when life put you in a horrifying situation or situations.

Link to comment

@AnnaD Yes, we DO have that problem. More and more as we've been working to get more connected, more cooperative, and more "out" than just in the inner world. The more we are out in the body, the outside world, the more it feels alien to us, despite feeling the outside world kinda being more "real" than inside... it's all confusing and tough to make sense of - and that body diff thingy is even harder. :(

 

 

@michelle_kitten  Yeah, the abuse thing was sporadic, mostly some when we were a toddler then at like 11'ish - by two diff people... and misc hard times between that we kinda interpreted as "trauma" cuz that's just how the brain worked after the first as a toddler. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 170 Guests (See full list)

    • April Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,020
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Tami
    Newest Member
    Tami
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bebhar
      Bebhar
      (41 years old)
    2. caelensmom
      caelensmom
      (40 years old)
    3. Jani
      Jani
      (70 years old)
    4. Jessicapitts
      Jessicapitts
      (37 years old)
    5. klb046
      klb046
      (30 years old)
  • Posts

    • VickySGV
      We have had some real dillies come out as the initiative sort of thing, but as @Carolyn Marie said, very few make it out of the petition signing seasons.  I am not surprised at the origin site of this thing, it is probably one of only 3 regressive leaning counties we have in the state. We actually had one of these initiatives started to make it mandatory for police to shoot dead on site any Gay behaving individuals wherever they found them.  For the most part the matters are poorly written in ways to be unenforceable even if enacted.  Thus most never become law or get to the voters.
    • Carolyn Marie
      You make some good points, AYS.  But there are usually already too many ballot propositions each election, so the proponents know it's best to wrap it all up into a nice package.  Plus, it's easier for the signature gatherers.  Otherwise they have to have a separate clipboard for each proposition.  Too much paperwork, dontcha know?   This kind of proposition is a loser in CA, so the only possible way the proponents can succeed is to give it the scariest title imaginable and try to put one over on the voters before they get wise.  Bottom line; an ice cube on a hot summer sidewalk has a better chance of success.   Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Reading that article, it seems like the attorney general gets to call it whatever unless its an outright lie.  Given the nature of politics in CA, it seems like one side has the bully pulpit for sure.  Labeling it "Restricts Rights" vs "Protects Kids" is very much a matter of perspective.  Unfortunately, that matters since many voters don't bother to read.  Perhaps a better (unbiased) way to handle it would be to simply give the ballot measure a number with no title, forcing folks to read it.    I think it would have been better to handle the various issues covered by the ballot measure separately, rather than all at once.  For example, issues relating to disclosure of medical and social information to parents.  That could be its own ballot measure, rather than lumped in with everything else.  Besides, shorter and more succinct measures are more likely to be read completely. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://calmatters.org/education/k-12-education/2024/04/trans-youth/     Yup, the existing title sound perfectly appropriate and accurate to me, too.   Carolyn Marie
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Seen my hrt specialist this morning and nothing but good news,estrogen levels looked good.Boyfriend was with me and I admit he has been learning well about my transition showing his support.Our relationship is going great and we both see each other much happier now.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This reminded me of an individual who, due to child sexual abuse, lived as a woman for 15 years, detransitioned and noisily insists that all trans people have his story.  His name comes up fairly often because it fits the narrative.   I don't know that anyone actually has been railroaded.  People may say it, they may look back at what happened and decide that happened.  It's a he said / she said, but it feeds a narrative that is useful for those who are already convinced that trans people are abuse victims first and foremost.  That the detransition rate is so low tells me that railroading is not actually a problem, and I regret giving the impression that I thought it was.  That so few detransition is a success story.   What is pertitent at heart is that people hear and believe all the stories out there, and the story we have to tell is not heard, because TG folk are, after all, untrustworthy in their view and unworthy of an audience.  Somehow it needs to get out there as to what the real situation is. 
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      I'm not saying that Christianity is wrong but at the same time there were more than 30,000 changes to it. The Bible doesn't state anything against transgender. The only point that can be proven by them is that people are giving into their desire. 1 John 2:15-17 ESV "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever." I would love to challenge them by asking who watches a movie, reads books, and listens to music that isn't Christian based because then they would be guilty as well. 1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Probably not a single hand would still stand that they don't participate in everything they do gives glory to God. "
    • VickySGV
      My neighboring state got lucky a couple years ago. 
    • VickySGV
      https://www.wpath.org/soc8   I had been looking for this to respond to a member and could not find it .  Pinning it for now.
    • VickySGV
      @Abigail GenevieveSomewhere in the Forums here, we have a link to the World Professional Association for Transgender Health's Standards Of Care, now at revision 8 but it is available in plenty of places.   https://www.wpath.org/soc8.    These are the canons for the allied medical fields that deal with Trans people and are the guidance for those professionals.  I personally know members of the Association and have toyed with the idea of becoming an associate member since I am not a medical professional but because I like to keep on top of what is going on medically.  There are a number of Trans people who think they are overly oppressive as far as the gatekeeping goes, but the medical / psychological profession members who follow these guidelines for there patients WILL NOT be forcing their patients into unneeded or harmful surgery or medications.  I read my first pitiful and heart-rending  "detransitioning" story 60 years ago when I snuck a tabloid newspaper behind a comic book down at the neighborhood convenience store when I was 16 years old and reading it off the rack which should have been adult only.  I am afraid that it was the first thing I ever read that told me about Trans and Transsexual people, it would be another 30 years before I actually figured out my own story.  The story I later found out, was NOT written by a Trans person, but a well known Porn scribbler who wrote many fantastic and gory stories about what he thought Trans people were.  We are not anything like his imagination, but he was a "press agent" for Trans people of the time.  We do have some well known and noisy, negative view Detransitioners who have been found to have gone to multiple psychologists and lied their way Transitioning, one of the most infamous actually hid Dissociative Identity Disorder, right therapist wrong Identity that was being counseled.  It is a messy story.  The public, like my first encounter, was NOT getting their information from the scientific journals of the time, they were getting it from Adult Entertainment and Tabloids   We need to be careful of where we get some of our ideas from. Evidence is good that the person at the heart of this thread gets most of his information from us from the slanted and non-scientific sources most people get theirs.   OOPs, I( may have sent this off track here, but but but.    
    • Ivy
    • Ashley0616
      Yet another failed attempt. Glad to know that we are more important than education or health care to them.
    • Mmindy
      I agree with you.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Well said, and I agree @VickySGV   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...