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CrystalElaine94

Supporting my husband

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CrystalElaine94

My husband recently discovered by complete accident that he likes cross dressing. When I say by accident, I had seen videos of boyfriends/husbands doing their girlfriends/wives makeup, and I asked him to do mine. After he was done, I asked to do his. To both of our surprise, he really liked it. Now we are pretty adventurous in the bedroom, and we decided this could be a fun role play (my husband is into domination/humiliation). However, he didn't feel dominated or humiliated. He felt empowered and "pretty" to use his own words. For the rest of the night, he wore one of my dresses and a full face of makeup. The next day, we went out and bought a wig to complete his look. That night, I taught him how to do his own makeup, he put on one of my dresses and his wig, and he absolutely loved it. Unfortunately, it made me feel extremely uncomfortable. When I looked at him, I didn't feel like I was looking at my husband. I felt as though I had lost my husband. 

 

After discussing this with my husband, he explained that he just liked not having to feel masculine. He likes getting in touch with his feminine side. Now my husband is a correctional officer who grew up in a strict southern baptist household. We have been exploring his sexuality together recently, and he has come to the decision that he not attracted to men, but he does still like to dress as a woman. He does not feel as though he is a woman, he is just tired of feeling like he has to live up to the standard masculine social norms. 

 

We decided that I may have been uncomfortable because we just jumped straight into it instead of easing in. So we have decided to work up to him completely cross dressing by doing things that are deemed feminine. Last night, we did a foot scrub, painted our toe nails, and did a facial mask. I would love suggestions of other activities we can do to not only help me ease into the idea of my husband cross dressing, but to also allow him to do what makes him feel comfortable and helps him relax. I would also love any advice on what has helped anyone else through the same situation.

 

I love my husband dearly, and it's been a while since I've seen my husband that happy and relaxed. I am trying to support him the best that I can, but I am also confused by this. 

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Carolyn Marie

Hello, Crystal Elaine, and welcome to Trans Pulse.  I want to start by congratulating you on being open minded, non-judgemental, loving and supportive.  It is wonderful to hear about, as its not as common an occurrence as we would hope.

 

What you've done together so far is a great start.  Other suggestions I can make include letting him dress and sleep in a nightgown (some have sexual relations this way, and I hear it can really invigorate a couple's sex life).  Helping him with makeup, buying a wig, wearing small items of jewelry (that he can hide from others, like an ankle bracelet) can also help with feeling feminine.

 

I'm sure others will have great ideas, too.  Thanks for asking, and best wishes to you both.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

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Astrid

Shopping together for feminine apparel (and being helpful as he tries things on, with the two of you in a changing room) can be very affirming and supportive.   

 

With best wishes,

 

Astrid

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CrystalElaine94

Thank you guys for your advice! We may try the jewelry. He doesn't want anyone to know about it, not even our kids, so something like an ankle bracelet may be perfect! I got a new job and we are going clothes shopping for it tomorrow, so he may pick out a dress he likes that way it is his and not just one of mine. 

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Janae

I agree with the shopping. But be careful - it can be addicting. I really enjoyed this activity, but when she started to notice I have drawers with more bras in them than she did in hers, the shopping has ended. :(  

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Astrid
5 hours ago, Janae said:

I agree with the shopping. But be careful - it can be addicting.

 

So true.  I've managed a lot more self-control the last few months, after a full year of building my femme wardrobe.  My 44 pairs of panties in a variety of styles is a bit more than my spouse's, so it was time to slow down 🙂

 

But I have mastered the art of walking into department stores, seeing what's trending, trying a few things on for future reference, and walking out without buying anything -- all without feeling guilty.  I'll eventually be buying more, after all.

 

Astrid

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