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Fast food / junk food addiction


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So recent changes in my life have finally made me accepting to the fact that I am a woman(Stuck in a man's body). I have previously talked my self out of it in one way or another dismissing these feelings. ("I'll never pass", "I am too tall or big", etc.) I am starting to baby step my there. My weight is a stage gate to that in my mind. One problem I have dealt with my whole life is binge eating and possibly an addiction to fast food/junk food. I am 365 lbs. I can not even be hungry and feel a overwelming need to stop at a McDonald's. It's not just getting a cheeseburger either, I regularly spend 12 to 18 dollar eat it all to the point of being sick, then feel horrible about myself. I want to get down to a healthy weight, my weight and behavior is not healthy(It will probably kill me eventually). The urge is so strong, I can't fight it. I don't know what to do, has anyone else dealt with this? What can I do???

 

Thanks,

 

Dawn

 

The reasons I consider this a stage gate other than health reasons to transitioning is one fat blocks testosterone, I may feel differently if my hormone levels change getting healthy. Probably not since I have had these feelings since childhood but it's worth exploring before making life changing choices. Second I have heard it's hard to lose weight on HRT, so I should knock this out while it's easier. Third I am 6'4" tall, and tall clothing is hard to find as it is, big and tall makes things even harder.

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It’s hard, but you need to start cutting out the bad foods. Foods high in fat and sugars make you crave more food. It’s why you can sit down and eat an avocado and feel more full and more sustained than when you eat 3x as much of something like Doritos or McDs fries. Your body is being fooled. 

Eat as much healthy foods as you can. Nearly 50% of your food every day should be veggies. For someone your size I’d say you should be in the 6-8cups of veggies a day. 

My advice, cut out bad and replace with good. Go as fast or slow as you can handle, but create goals no matter how small they may be and stick to them. Eventually you’ll get where you want to. But it’s gonna mean work. And I also recommend a support group. It really helps. A lot. If you stay active with it at least. 

 

Good luck. 

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If you have insurance, they might have options, and or your doctor, to get a referral for some type of Nutritionist that could help you. Possibly a councilor  could recommend group meetings, perhaps even a trans group that you could join. I know it helps to have a support system in line. Substitute fast food with veggies and fruit. Drink water with all of your meals, good or fast food, drink water. That helps me filling up and it's just plain healthy. Try and eat salad with your meals too, they can be rather tasty. Dont go cold turkey, ease into it, find a comfortable balance. Walk when you can, and ease into that too. Start bringing small weights with your walls after a while. Maybe find people that are willing to walk with you. 

During my research of HRT and what would help me see changes, boobie growth, losing weight was one of them. That inspired me, cause I noticed the changes after i lost weight and maintained keeping weight off. The weight distribution has really been shoing this past week. 

Other than eating healthy foods, going to a therapist might help you with what is driving you to eat when you are not hungry. 

I wish you the best!

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Really sorry that you feel this way. I'm kind of in the same boat. I've always struggled with weight and I've bounced around a lot. I have binge eating disorder, sometimes I purge but in general I binge a lot more than I purge. Recently though, I've kind of switched to pretty much not eating at all, which I always thought would be amazing but I've come to find out it has its own set of problems.

 

I have bipolar II and borderline personality disorder, and the past couple years have been pretty rough. I've been put on antipsychotics which in general make you ravenously hungry 24 hours a day. In just a month of being in-patient (which otherwise went really well) I gained 40 pounds. When I got out, I got taken off Seroquel and put on just Lamictal and Wellbutrin, and since then I've started to lose a considerable amount of weight, albeit in a vaguely unhealthy way.

 

You might talk to your doctor about weight loss. Over the past two months I've been on Wellbutrin (which is prescribed for depression/bipolar but also prescribed for weigh loss). It took a while to start working, but basically at this point it pretty much turned off my hunger and drive to eat. This can be a very good thing but also a very bad thing. In the past few days I've eaten a protein bar and a handful of fried shrimp (along with some Rosé but I pretend that doesn't count). I know that I need to eat but at this point I pretty have to force myself to. And why would I when I'm as overweight as I am? My point is I guess that appetite suppressants can be a double-edged sword but are an option.

 

I've got to strike a balance between under and overeating to truly be healthy, and my situation is no better in all honesty. I really hope that we can both slowly but surely get to a place where we're happy and healthy. Talking to a nutritionist can help if your insurance covers it. They can help you lose as much weight as possible in the most healthy way.

 

Much love, I wish you the best!

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  • Admin
8 hours ago, DawnD said:

The urge is so strong, I can't fight it. I don't know what to do, has anyone else dealt with this? What can I do???

 

Look up the groups for Over Eaters Anonymous in your area and get with them. They also have on line meetings as well as in -person meetings.  Eating to live is necessary, living to eat is another problem all together.

 

https://oa.org/find-a-meeting/ 

 

One of my friends who does use OA has a bit of a warped sense of humor, but they observed that  fast food at one time was good for us when we had to run fast enough to catch it.  It is a good program, but you have to do some work for sure, but all of it is satisfying in the right ways.

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  • 11 months later...

I sometimes binge eat  because its partly my compulsive over eating problem I deal with.

I agree the urge is strong sometimes and can be very hard to control.

There are times when I get so much pleasure out of eating and being stuffed to the point I can't move.

I know its going to make me gain more weight but I don't care because I am stuck in the moment.

 

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  • Forum Moderator
36 minutes ago, Teri Anne said:

You know this is the first time I admitted that about myself online. YAY

 

Congratulations?

 

Compulsive eating disorder can be a sign of other problems burbling deep within your psyche. Have you talked to a professional? We're mad supportive, but to my knowledge, none of us are therapists. I know I had trouble with a LOT of health issues before I came out (and maybe I like to think about a good cookie binge now and then), but you've been out for longer than I have. Definitely something to discuss.

 

Hugs!

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Congrats with a question mark LOL  thats funny .

Professional ?Well if you call over eaters anonymous professionals then yes.

The vibe I got from them was me being trans I was a sub human and needed mental help.

Lots of blah ,blah,blah you need to do this or that.No real help.

I don't binge eat very often and that is different from compulsive over eating.Binge eating is more like a sexual satisfaction thing.

Honestly I don't mind being fat and it has helped me to not have a bunch of wrinkles on my face lol.

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  • Forum Moderator

Well, Over-Eater's Anonymous obviously sucks then. The only person who tells me I'm sub-human is my egg-donor and honestly that was happening even before I came out as trans.

 

I had to work like heck to get the weight off. My stable of doctors was concerned about my weight in addition to the stress on my body from the estrogen and the anti-androgens. No fast food. No caffeine, etc. So long as you're happy and healthy, well no harm, right? Tragically, I don't carry it well. The extra weight all goes straight to my belly. I can't be overweight at the same time. There wouldn't be an issue if it went to my breasts instead. ?

 

Hugs!

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OEA I am sure works for some people it was probably the local groups leader being a jerk that made it not be something I wanted to continue.

Where you carry your weight does make a difference and that affects how your clothes fit and look on you.

I'm thick around the middle and have big legs and a large backside and I love it.It really makes me feel feminine and complete.

Luckily my health is fine BP and cholesterol are well in the normal range so thats a plus.

I know I am different than most on these forums and with so many gorgeous ladies on here I am just happy to be a part of this forum.

 

 

 

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  • Forum Moderator

Jealous! At almost 300 pounds my blood pressure was through the roof and my cholesterol was over 300. My Irish/Scottish DNA took that and said, "Oh, OK, it all goes around the middle, right?" I would LOVE to have some padding on my hips and backside except the fat will NOT grow there. My butt be FLAT. Sometimes genetics really sucks. ?

 

Want to know a secret? Most of us are unhappy with one part or another of our bodies. Just like cis-women.

 

Hugs!

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Its normal to not like some portion of our bodies. Most all the females I know are like that.

 

 

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20 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Jealous I would LOVE to have some padding on my hips and backside

 

 

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  • Forum Moderator
25 minutes ago, Teri Anne said:

There is always fat transfer if you have the funds to go that route.

 

 

Yeah, that's on my list for "things I'd like to do." The GCS cleaned me out though. It'll be a minute before I can afford it. Also avoiding hospitals for the apocalypse if I can.

 

Hugs!

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I totally understand about the hospital thing I am the same way.

I had to get an ultra sound done earlier this month and going to the diagnostic center was like going to the hospital. They did have things all set up well because there were very few people there.

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17 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

My Irish/Scottish DNA took that and said, "Oh, OK, it all goes around the middle, right?"

100% Can confirm this happens. Due to being weak willed when it comes to ruining myself I am trying a 3 pronged attack of: incentives, exercise and food changes.

I have a summer dress I want to fit into that hangs prominently in "that" closet. A picture of me running at a parkrun up on the sweet treats cupboard (that I try my best not to fill too often)

 

I am currently kickstarting myself with the couch to 5k app, I felt great at the beginning of the year when I could complete a 10km ( Doing c25k again, but this time I'm being chased by zombies) 

 

I have ordered a 3wk meal replacement plan that worked in the past until I started feeling good enough about myself to start ordering pizza and fell back to where I am now.

The problem when you do not like yourself is that stodgy comfort foods offer that temporary hit of endorphins and nostalgia before kicking you back to the curb. They're also so much cheaper and easier to get hold of than good tasting healthy alternatives. Also for me personally it is a form of subconsious self sabotage and self loathing/transphobia - If I finally start to look how I want to look in the mirror it removes the excuse to stay safely as I am. You just have to keep trying.  ?

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I had kind of a rough day and everything that could go wrong did.

As I cried over things I spent a good part of the afternoon and evening eating everything I could find  in the house.

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2 hours ago, Teri Anne said:

... eating everything I could find  in the house.

 

Passing you my quart of Cookies N Cream.  Have you got any Chocolate around, by any chance?  The market has been out of it for ages and I'm experiencing chocolate withdrawal symptoms ?

 

Hang in there.  The rough days will pass.

 

Astrid

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  • Forum Moderator

Ooh, I've got a freezer full of chocolate moose tracks. Cookies and cream sounds divine though. Share?

 

Hugs!

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15 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Ooh, I've got a freezer full of chocolate moose tracks. Cookies and cream sounds divine though. Share?

 

Deal!  I vaporized the Cookies N Cream and am now "suffering" through a Peanut Butter Pie quart, cuz my Chocolate was, once again,

not available this week at the market.  Sob!  

 

Sawry to write whif my mouff full uf ice creem!!

 

Astrid

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I hope this urge to over eat eases up soon, went  to OEA last evening and it wasn't too bad.

Lots of new people there and the regular group leader wasn't there.

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

I've attended Overeaters Anonymous meetings for over 12 years and find the support and kindness quite amazing.  Of course, 12 Step programs invite us to look deeply at what lies beneath the behaviors identified as addictions.  Telling the truth both to ourselves and to someone else can be challenging.  We eat to soothe ourselves because life is too difficult to meet face on.  This isn't rocket science.  Trying to control our eating is ultimately fruitless.  The only way we will change our behavior is by finding the capacity to consistently care for ourselves.  That sounds simple but since we use food to soothe what isn't working in our lives or between our ears, we won't stop until we honestly face what frightens us.  You don't need a 12 Step program to do that but it is certainly less expensive than working with a therapist.  I'm maintaining a sixty pound weight loss.  I'd love to lose another thirty, but this is all about progress, not perfection.

 

There are a great many OA meetings now offered virtually.  Those interested can go online to OA.org and look for meetings.  Trust me, the community of people in OA are as accepting as people here, though they are interested in eating, not gender related issues.  Don't expect to work with those issues at an OA meeting.  Good luck everyone.  Nothing you eat will solve any problem you have.

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She gave name, address, age, height, weight, and they came to gender. Margie asked it twice. "Put down female." "The only other choice is male." "Then that is it." "Earlier I was thinking about tournaments, which are big here. The rules are that boys fight boys and girls fight girls - there are Men's and Women's Divisions.  I know you look like a woman, but they go by the birth certificate." This was awkward.  Really awkward.  Down at the other end of the room they were moving in unison when Bob said HAI!, turning, punching, kicking, etc. "I don't plan to go to tournaments.  One step at a time, shall we?" "Okay.  And I meant it when I said respect.  We bow to each other.  You will see. As a sign of honoring other people." Margie bowed slightly, sitting down.  Taylor returned the bow and smiled. The class moved into sparring, breaking into twos and practicing moves against each other.  Bob was moving among the pairs, adjusting positions of hands, hips, feet.  Taylor was unsure about someone touching her like that, her hips particularly.    The green belt class ended as new students came in for the beginners' class. Down at the other end the brown belt class began.  The room was large enough you could do two classes at the same time.   The other beginners, nervous, lined up at Margie's table.  People got into gis, the men in their big area and only woman in the little restroom that was for them.   Sensei Mark greeted them and showed them where to stand: on the little x's on the floor. He explained the School Code.  They would recite it at the beginning of class and they needed to memorize it for the white belt test, at which time they would, of course, receive a white belt. He explained some terms.    They warmed up with some basic, easy stretches.   They learned a kata called Taikyoku Shodan, involving blocks, punches and some movements. This was not bad.   She was now paired off with Judy.  Things were going well and this was not too bad. Judy was sixty years old and had been told to exercise by her doctor.  Taylor said her boyfriend was teaching the other class, which was impressive, and he wanted her involved.   "You remember the gedan barai - downward block?"  They did. Everyone showed him and he went around and made sure everyone had it down. "And the lunge punch?"  They did. "Now we are going to put them together. One of you will punch and the other block it. Okay?"   Taylor squared off against Judy.  Her heart was pounding.  She practiced her gedan barai as Judy practiced her lower lunge punch.  Then they faced each other. "Okay, first partner, lunge punch.  Second partner, lower block.  Slowly.  Go!" Taylor saw the punch coming at her, but instead of blocking it her eyes welled up with tears and she dropped to the floor, weeping uncontrollably. "Oh God, Oh, God, Oh God, make it stop, make it stop" she shouted to parties unseen. Fetal position, rocking back and forth. Crying hysterically. "I didn't go near her," Judy said, bewildered. "Taylor?"  this was Sensei Bob.  Both classes had stopped and were looking at her. She kept crying. "I am here, "Bob told her, not touching.  "Oh Bob you need a wife who can be a real woman to you. I am making you into a monk or something." And she continued crying at full volume. "You need someone better than me, someone who can give you kids." Everyone could hear this.  They were turning away, trying to pretend they could not hear this. "I need to get her out of here and take her." Bob said, and he and Mark bowed to each other. He scooped her up and she bawled into his shoulder.  She clung to him.  First hug ever. Death grip, more like it. "Judy, would you get her things?" "I did nothing," Judy said, and moved towards the restroom, stunned.  "Nothing." "I know what she was wearing," Margie said, and got them. "I've got a gym bag. It 's red and it says Roosters on it. Can you get it? Mark got it.  He accompanied them to the car.  Taylor was non-stop crying deeply, clinging to him for dear life. Mark unlocked the car and together they managed to pry Taylor off of him, even though it took both of them to do it.  She was in the car seat and they managed to buckle her in it. "I am going to take you to your apartment," he said. "No. Emergency room," she said. "Maybe the psych ward."  He didn't doubt it. She calmed down in a few minutes on the way. "Well, that was embarrassing." "Everyone remembers their first day of karate class." "Bob, what I love about you is your sense of humor." "I love everything about you." "Even this?" "Yes. Even this." She managed to walk into the ER.  They were both still in gis. "Karate accident?" "No. I am Taylor and I am a nut. I wear a gi all the time. I make my boyfriend wear one, too." "She had a triggered event.  She's had some difficult times." "I see. Do you you know are bleeding?" "No."  Her crotch was wet with blood and the blood was seeping down both legs. She was wheeled away. "Sir, please wait here." He did.  He had no legal right to see her right now. After a while a nurse came out and said he could come on  back. There she was in a hospital gown.  "Seems like old times." "yeah.  We gotta stop meeting like this." The nurse buzzed around and left them. "They are running tests." "I bet they are." "I got an MRI. On a Saturday morning, too."  First ever. "You rate.  But why?" "They figure some of the old scar tissue - you know, from the- from the past - ripped open and they need to see what is going on." "We know what is going on,"said a doctor, stepping in. He looked at her. "I am Doctor Michaels.  They called me in.  I just happened to be in the building and they wanted me to see this and take the case.  My specialty is Disorders of Sexual Development. But what I am seeing is little in the way of disorder.  Look at this." They looked at the image. "This is a perfectly ordinary uterus." "Uterus?" "Yes, your uterus." "What?" "That is not all.  This is a cervix, and this is a vagina." "It's blocked up." "Yes.  It looks like you had surgery to do exactly that when you were an infant.  They used to do that." "This is me?" "You." "Really?" "I imagine this takes some getting used to. "Can it be undone?" "Absolutely. I mean, I cannot guarantee it, but it is more than likely. I would like to run some tests." "And the bleeding?" "It looks like the hormones you have been taking have kicked of a regular monthly cycle. Then you did a whole bunch of exercise.  Not surprising." "What?" "I want you to come to my office next week for follow-up.  Have you ever had a genetic test of any sort?" "No." "Well, your testes - one looks at first glance more like an ovary." "Ovary. Can I have kids?" "Too soon to tell.  You look happy." She did.  "Bob, you look stunned." "I am." "Given what happened earlier today we want to keep you overnight for observation.  I understand you are a trauma victim and something triggered it." "I got a punch thrown at me in kara-tay class, is all. I am a wimp." "Well, I will let you two talk for a minute and they will come and get you shortly.  No bad news here." "They are coming to take me away, hah-hah, they are coming to take me away," Taylor chanted. "Bob, I am not done with kara-tay.  I want to at least finish a first class. I mean, you paid for it and I want you to get your money's worth." "I think I got that." "Kiss me, you fool,"  she said, and he did, with energy.        
    • April Marie
      These arrived in yesterday's mail. I'm out working in the yard today so just old clothes. I'm looking forward to wearing this t-shirt dress when the weather warms up a bit more.  
    • missyjo
      Ashley I've known busty girls who wore b nice bras tl work n such then like a sift sports bra to lounge or sleep in hugs
    • missyjo
      your nails b hair came wonderful  congratulations  enjoy
    • Willow
      The one thing about this position, if you want more hours just wait and be flexible.  I’m now working until 7:30 pm instead of 4:30.  
    • Ashley0616
      I hope your head cold goes away soon! Sorry you have to cut grass with that.   Love the new t-shirt   I love that one.    What Jeep would you want to get? That is awesome about your wife getting better!
    • Ashley0616
      Welcome Mattie! I would recommend the first step is finding a gender therapist and see if you are or aren't. Then one of the biggest steps if you are do you want to start hormone replacement therapy. The decision should be thought long and hard. There are irreversible effects. Looking forward to your next post! Take care!
    • Ashley0616
      Congratulations on being able to pick up a cancellation! I hope to hear more updates about your transition. 
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