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Dain

"Thanks guys" is it appropriate?

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Dain

Hello!

I have a question, not sure if it's a silly one. But thought I would ask. Mainly aimed at people AMaB who id as female.

 

When replying in the forum is it appropriate to say "Thanks guys" to a mixed group or is that uncomfortable to some? Even though one uses it a lot as gender neutral I see how that it could trigger some? Does that count as misgendering?

 

I'm also guessing it might be different depending on each individual. What is forum policy on that?

 

Ps. Sorry if this was the wrong section of the forum to post, was unsure where to post this.

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Timber Wolf

Hi Dain,

In day to day life, I often use the phrase "hi guys". But in the trans community, some don't really like being called "guys", even in this neutral manner. So I avoid using this phrase here. It's not a major thing, but it can run someone the wrong way.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf 🐾

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Dain

Thanks Timber Wolf!

 

Any suggestions on some fun/friendly replacements?

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Timber Wolf

Perhaps "hey all". 

 

Beware, I've never been accused of being a great conversationalist, so you may want to field more ideas 😄

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf 🐾

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Dain

Haha thanks 😄

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Bananarama

It also depends on one's station and familiarity in the community you're speaking to. For example, if you're new to a group, the last thing you'll want to say is ''thanks, guys'' and ''hiya guys'', but if you're among friends and are seen as an established member, then the use of 'guys' is usually seen as neutral, whereas as a n00b you're viewed with suspicion.

 

Language such as this doesn't bother me in the slightest and I view it as completely innocuous. I'm comfortable in my own skin and in no way does the word invalidate me. However, it's always best to err on the side of caution. If you have to think "is what I'm about to say appropriate?", then chances are good that it isn't. 🙂

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Cautiousness

For a while I'd wondered about the appropriateness of the "guys" word, as well.  However, after broaching the subject with 2 genetic females, I was assured that it was merely an inclusive term and is not currently used as an exclusive referent to male persons.  I'm guessing that over time, the term "guys" was appropriated by women as being who found it preferable to the somewhat more regional term, "gals." 

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VickySGV

I had the term "Folks" suggested to me the other night at a support group.  That term cleans it up for even the non-binary people around. 

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Charlize

Folks works great but if your down south in the US then y'all works even better.  Of course its also a bit dangerous to be trans in spots down there as well.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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