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Susan R

Bad Hair Day!

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Susan R

Well, today was the day.  My wife and I were going spend part of the day at the hair salon.  I'm visiting a sister of mine this Sat. in Olympia, WA and my daughter lives there so I'm killing two birds with one stone.  My sister is bringing her hubby, her two grown daughters (my nieces) and two great nieces.  It's going to be a big reunion with people who actively affirm my new life as Susan and they want to finally meet me.  I was excited about the whole thing.


This was the my first time at a really nice hair salon...as a woman.  I'm obviously not counting men's haircuts at a Hair Masters or Supercuts.  I wanted finally get my hair dyed to cover a few new grey hairs showing up, to add highlights and get it trimmed just a bit.  Seems like a pretty simple order.  

We are leaving tonight to stay 3 days with our daughter before the reunion. Well, our oldest daughter suddenly needed a sitter and so one of us had to stay home as it today before our trip.  My wife said I should still go and get mine done.  I decided to take her up on that.  She can go later this week with our daughter in Olympia.


I arrived at the salon and it all seems very nice.  I told them what I wanted and showed them pics from their catalogs and I was convinced they new what I wanted.  We discussed the styles.  I was clear on several things.  I'm mainly here for a minor trim, no bangs, coloring and foiled highlights.  I said my hair is still shorter than my target length so be easy.  I even asked the stylist if she thought my face would be better without bangs.  She agreed.  I never looked good in wigs with bangs so I mentioned it.


An hour later, after shampoo, conditioner and a nice head massage she finally starts cutting and gets it all done.  I was afraid to look.  She says, what do you think?  I as serious as a heart attack when I say my first thought was...Oh no!  I look like Peter Tork from The Monkees.  IMG_0869.JPG.43a572e279941be6b39218757a5b65f9.JPG


The stylist asked, "how do I like it?"  I was silent.  I didn't know what to say..it was a complete disaster.  But I said...it's ok.  I paid her and scrambled home to let my wife tell me my options.


Her and a visiting neighbor looked at each other then my neighbor said, "Welcome to womanhood, Susan!"  It's happened to both of them too.  We fooled with it a little and got it looking better using hair clips on one side and combing it differently but I am really disappointed.  It was 5 times more costly than any previous men's haircut and I was 5 times less satisfied.  So much for first impressions with my family this weekend.  What an experience.


Susan R🌷

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😒 With the exception of bridal parties the first thing I see any woman do after leaving a salon is re-adjust their hair. Trust is far more important, sorry that was your first experience but do not let it ruin the trip to your sisters, I'm sure you will find a way to style it and in a few weeks it will grow back out and need done again. 🙂

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I am so sorry to hear this Susan.  Dee is correct that trust is important.  I have been going to my stylist for close to 40 years.  I had always been the non trusting type, facing the mirror with eyes open.   Once I settled in with my stylist I never go anywhere else, even adjusting my schedule around hers.  My take away is to shop around for someone you like and stay there.  Be real clear about what you like and want, and get clarification as to what she will do with the shears.  


It will grow out and you'll be fine.  

Hugs, Jani

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When I was just starting to let my hair grow out, I made the mistake of going to a unisex hair cutting salon.  There were about 4 men whom I identified as a particular type of "Power" real estate sales men for an ethnic community that is moving into my area.  I should have left immediately but I was still shy about my longer hair, and theirs was a longer style as well.  I did not want one of their cut / style do's and had asked that mine be on the androgynous side and had pointed to one in a magazine that I thought would be OK.  The stylist did it her own way which was the Real Estate Power Sales Cut and style. 


I was back to wigs for another six weeks.  *I began full time about 4 months later and this time went to a salon in a major cosmetics chain, where I came out with this one from my gallery heregallery_14243_1207_14814.jpg


The stylist who did that was leaving to go to another store and she introduced me to the stylist  whom I have had ever since.  My stylist has a MtF sister who is too darn glam (30 years younger than I am) and so we have a  good time talking about the local Trans community.  She recently left the cosmetics store salon and now has her own where she has kept a group of us as clients.   This is not real recent, but it is basically who I am today. large.100_1394e.jpg

You will end up looking fine in time, but these two pictures are 3 years apart.

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Susan R

Thank you all for the comments.  I just had a doozy of major depression attack.  My oldest daughter came over to pick up our grandchild and she saw the mess they made of my hair.  The bangs are far too short to do anything.  I had them down to my lips prior to the disaster.  My daughter worked for years and Gene Juarez and is pretty good with hair but she said they only thing to do is wear a headband and keep it pinned with gel or mousse.  She made it look better but when I went to the gas station and store, I received odd looks like never before.  I was being clocked left and right.  The cut is that bad.


I came home and suddenly I was hit with this depression attack.  Haven't ever been slammed so hard like this.   I became immediately sleepy and had to rest for several hours.  My wife thinks it my new Progesterone medication I started 3 weeks ago but I know it's GD because I look more masculine than ever now.  We were supposed to leave tonight at 7:30pm for the 2.5 hour drive south but I was too lethargic to even load the car.  Looks like we'll make another attempt tomorrow. 

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Sounds like you really had a double whammy there ( your wife is probably right about the progesterone being in there).  I doubt you were read as Trans as badly as you may think though. It is one of those things though where a slight scratch becomes a deep cut from our disappointment and depression when this type of thing happens to us.  Hair is a big and sensitive issue for us. 

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I find hair frustrating too as one day it can look very feminine and then the next not without obvious reason. Face shapes make a big differece, I think, as my current style (Purdey / tapered bob) is not a million miles from Peter Tork but I don't look anything like him. Reading the comments I did wonder if an hairdressers own style is any kind of indication of their strengths or weakness.


A bad day Susan but it will pass. It has taken me several years, and I think I am getting better now but I find hair is one of the most difficult female subjects to master.



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The best thing i can offer is the fact that it will grow back.  When i had hair i usually hated having it cut.  Today with a chrome dome it's not an issue.  





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