Unsure of what is going on.

[KymmieL]

Lately my wife has been looking like something has been wrong. Asking her I get a 'no' & Feeling OK. It seems like she doesn't want to be with me. Unless we are on the motorcycle. She'll stay up playing video games with our youngest. even though she works the next day. Very few days do we go to bed at the same time. Most of the time it is later. Either I am already asleep or just about.

I am known to strike out during the night mostly when I don't wear my bi-pap. At times when I wear it my wife complains that I seem to fight against the machine. At times it is so bad that she goes in the spare room to sleep.

I know she gets anoid when I get on the computer. (it is at the kitchen table) and I don't stay in the living room and watch TV or talk with her. She goes upstairs to the other computer to play farmville. Even when I am watching TV she will disappear upstairs. seems to get upset when I ask her if she is going to bed, on the computer or take a bath. Since she works for the school district. Since she went back to work. Now We get no days off together, I have considered stepping down from Assistant Manager to delivery driver, just so I can get the evenings and weekends off. 

 

If it is me I wish she would just up and say so. I have been painting my fingernails for the past 3 weeks. I have been wearing a bra for a while. On Tuesday night she referred to me as Alice, as in Alice Cooper because of my painted nails. I still don't think she fully understands what I mean by Transgender.

 

With this happening and getting the crappy shifts at work. I am getting close to my wits end. The big "D" has been a thought.

 

Kymmie

[Jani]

Kymmie this is a tough time.  it seems to me this may be all setting in for her and she's unsure.  Other than that your changes might have precipitated a relationship change that many couples go through late in life; odd schedules that don't match up and sleeping in separate rooms for health and sanity reasons.  Snoring is the big one and we have several friends in that boat.  It takes a strong couple to adjust to off hour schedules and remain compatible.

 

The other thing I see is while we don't fall out of "love" we tend to fall out of "friendship" as we age and our marriage accumulates the years.  (44 for me)  This takes hard work on both partners part to keep the spark that first brought you together.  While we want our partner to grow and become the best they can be we have to be aware of the consequences.  It seems that may be cause for many late life separations and divorces.   We need to remain active in their lives and to have them active in yours.  Find things to do together that you both enjoy.   Even though transition can put a strain on a relationship it doesn't mean the end.  Ask, would you really be happier apart?  Probably not.   Keep the lines of communication open to rekindle the friendship you both want. 

 

Hugs, Jani  

[Lexi C]

not married but I can related from the stand point off,," I am to busy she to busy..blah- blah"..Best thing to do is talk to her, ask  her to be open and honest with her.  Don''t forget you have a child  who needs to feel that he can be honest with you but how is that going to happen if all he see and feels is a lack off communication with u and wife..good luck