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Mackenzie

Good things about Coming Out

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Mackenzie

So a lot of threads here are about the challenges of coming out and the such. One thing in all the therapy I have done over and over, is that we should try and look for good things. Now, their are struggles, and the other posts serve functions in helping people understand what they are about to face, and how they might deal with it. But, I thought it would be cool if we had a list of things from people of all the things that make them smile, or have bouts of joy that can only occur because they are out!

For me:

-When someone calls me Mackenzie or she/her it makes me feel good. 

-When I see a dress that looks wonderful, I get to say, "Yeah, I am going to buy that" instead of "Damn, I wish I could get that."

-The look of my body when it is hairless, and I am wearing my feminine clothing, and I see a women in front of me in the mirror.

 

Those are just the tip of the ice burgs! Share yours, and lets couple the advice in this forum with some highlights and silver linings!

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AnnaD

i'm only out to a few people so far, but when i'm eventually out fully, i see theres quite a lot for me to look forwards to. i know that it takes a lot of pressure off. 👍

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Jani

One thing I never expected was the reception I received here.  I love this place.   That and all the wonderful and caring people I have met at support groups and other venues in real life.  This is a real community of people who care for each other.

 

 

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Charlize

The benefits of coming out have greatly outweighed the difficulties.  I'm no longer lying, feeling shame and guilt about my feelings.  The acceptance and understanding from so many folks i know has been wonderful and we now feel much closer to each other.  I've seemingly shared my most intimate secret and in turn they often feel comfortable talking to me.  

Easy no, worth it, for me, completely.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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tracy_j

I am in a bit of a twighlight zone as I am not really sure if I am out or not. This is maybe partly due to not (at the moment) intending hormones, surgery or legal changes. That said I am pretty much out and relaxed in it. Yesterday I had a chance meeting with one of my partner's sisters (who knows) and her new boyfriend who she has just moved in with. Interestingly it was a good meeting quickly relaxing, although he was obviously initially surprised (actually he was so attractive I think the body language kicked in lol, a good catch for her). It is seldom, if ever, I get embarrassed when I chance meet someone I know when wearing a skirt or dress these days as it is me. A good point to me about coming out is not really having to think much about it any more.

 

Tracy

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Timber Wolf

I'm not out to the world, but I am to my family, and to my family I am Carla. It is so nice not to have to hide from them.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf 🐾

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Kirsten

For me it’s one simple thing. No more being fake. I get to meet people and be myself. I get to dress walk talk act and be myself. That’s it. 

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Krisvm

I have started being out at work and seeing people using my name and pronouns keeps giving me little shot of euphoria. Strange to keep smiling when I see work emails coming in!

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Jani

It's a neat feeling isn't it! 

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Maid In Bedlam

Coming out is an interesting concept.

 

I looked it up. Granted is was wikki but I quote

 

"Coming out of the closet is the source of other gay slang expressions related to voluntary disclosure or lack thereof. LGBT people who have already revealed or no longer conceal their sexual orientation or gender identity are out, i.e. openly LGBT. Oppositely, LGBT people who have yet to come out or have opted not to do so are labelled as closeted or being in the closet. Outing is the deliberate or accidental disclosure of an LGBT person's sexual orientation or gender identity, without their consent. By extension, outing oneself is self-disclosure. Glass closet means the open secret of when public figures' being LGBT is considered a widely accepted fact even though they have not officially come out."

 

I guess I have never come out in that sense

 

I suppose i was reborn. (So Mellow dramatic)

I stopped being one thing and began being another. ie, Transitioned. I never talk of my past life in a male sense.

Im still in the closet then. However  I live  in my post transitioned state 24/7. I live ,I work, I have freinds,  I actually cringe when i think of what i was. I had no need to come out really. I did the right thing for me and started again. I moved away and gave up everything to start a new life. I dont feel that was selfish. The old me died and the new one flourished. I suppose like some sad cases of simanese twins. One couldnt live without the other. So one had to die so this one could survive. (Again so Mellowdramatic)

Ive not had the He pronoun in the same sentence as my name for 5 years.

 

Coming out doesnt really fit my narrative. I would be mortified if anyone knew of a past . So I guess ill never come out.

I have no need or want. Not aireing my linen in public i think is the terminolgy

This is the only place its revealed. Thats only because its the anonmity of the internet. Even thats a risk as my ip is logged whenever i come here. However ill chance that.

 

I told my Boys. Who just accepted as if it made no diffrence. I brought them up well. So proud I am. Is that coming out?

They was just on a need to know basis. No one else needs to know and i didnt want to walk away from them.

I told my now partner. As the one that was there when he was still around broke up with me pre transition.   but i was almost post transition by then. Again need to know i guess as I think honesty in a close relationship such as that is always best. My partner was fine with it. They Knew anyway right from the off. So they was aware of  what they was getting into. Did I come out then?

 

Have i missed out on the single greatest trans moment? I dont feel like it.  Maybe im just strange to think that my diffrences are greater than most? I never had or felt the compulsion to tell everyone. I just wanted to live my life. But then again i have no need for others to play a part in what i do with my life. Its mine. No need for justification from anyone.

 

 

On 8/18/2019 at 2:08 AM, Mackenzie said:

 

-The look of my body when it is hairless, and I am wearing my feminine clothing, and I see a women in front of me in the mirror.

 

I never see a woman in the mirror. I never see a man. I just see me.

 

Thats my silver lining. Just living my life as i always intended. I dont get a thrill from it. Im not sad for what ive lost. As ive gained so much more by not coming out in the sense its used.

 

Wow im a strange one 👽

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QuestioningAmber

I am not 100% out yet, but I can tell you one of the things I am enjoying with the people I am out to, is that I get to be authentic with. I can present the way that I want, I can act the way that feels more natural. I think that is what makes not being fully out of the closet so hard right now, is I have these moments of freedom, and I want them even more of the time now.

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Charlize
6 hours ago, Maid In Bedlam said:

I just wanted to live my life. But then again i have no need for others to play a part in what i do with my life. Its mine. No need for justification from anyone.

 This is certainly true for me as well.  In my case however i find that others are a part of my life.  My family who had always seen me one way certainly needed to accept a me they hadn't known.  I also had no desire to move away from the town where i grew up.  I had a life with everyone sounding me and transition meant being out to all.

  That being said, once i was living as myself the "need" to discuss or mention my gender became a non issue.  I don't know any in the LGBT that walk around carrying flags unless they are in a parade or in some cases are reaching out to help others.

  I guess if i had been more open as a child i would not have needed to "come out" i would never have been in.  Fear of disapproval and disownment made me hide.  Seeing others living as themselves helped me be myself.  I'm grateful for them!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

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Debra Michelle

When I came out,a huge weight came off my back.My family is glad I came out,they see me as a sister/daughter that replaced an unhappy son/brother.

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BrandiBri

For me, the best thing is that I now am living authentically and am able to talk to people. As a man I was afraid to talk too much as I was afraid that i would out myself. Now that I am living the life I should have been living all along I am happier, taking better care of my health and having more fun than I ever thought possible.

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Maid In Bedlam
19 hours ago, Charlize said:

 

 , once i was living as myself the "need" to discuss or mention my gender became a non issue.  I don't know any in the LGBT that walk around carrying flags unless they are in a parade or in some cases are reaching out to help others.

  I guess if i had been more open as a child i would not have needed to "come out" i would never have been in.  Fear of disapproval and disownment made me hide.  Seeing others living as themselves helped me be myself.  I'm grateful for them!

 

 

Same here. To my knowledge personally I do not know anyone who floats around the trans circles so to speak. I most certainly do not know anyone who waves a flag and shouts from the rooftops about there trans status.

To me that just defeats the object.  If thats your thing then great but i just want to fit into society. Fighting for rights etc. I have more than enough. In fact we have more than we ever did. Im not special because i was once trans. I just want the same as any other woman. To use any special privilige would in my eyes be making me something im not. Im just a woman getting by best i can.

 

As I previously said in the sense of the word i have never come out and never had to live the stage that some relish. However I would guess for me in my earlier transition The best part from personal expreiance was the use of alternative gender pronouns was my buzz. Knowing that i was subciously acknowledged without question. My prefered pronouns are Miss, Mrs (sometimes) Her, She, Countess ( I like but im not really entitled to it), Lady, and Legend. Didnt know i had a title did you? 😊 If your a land owner in Scotland you have a title. Its an old law that was never revolked. Therefore male is laird Female is lady. How awesome is that 😎

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