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AnnaD

reassurance

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AnnaD

hi, i keep having thoughts that i'm not trans, even though i know that i am. i think its influenced by some of my family and other people that i know, who try to deny it. is there any way to stop these thoughts and reassure myself?

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Mackenzie

I get that feeling sometimes, like, "Why am I doing this? SHould I just try to be a guy... make everyone's life easier?" Its normal. What we are doing is a huge thing, and it affects a lot of people in our lives. I have had a lot of support from my family, or at least benign neglect. I have a church community that supports me, and I have not dealt with anti-trans stuff from anyone in my friend or family circle... I state this because despite all that, I still have these feelings.

I can not imagine how these feelings would be if I had a lot of people who were directly opposed to it, or I was dealing with more aggression. Now to be fair, I have not publicly presented yet, so still plenty of time for to tack some bad experiences on.

 

It is normal, but search your feelings, and ask yourself when ever you think it, "What brings me joy, being a girl or being a boy."

 

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Jani

Confidence is something that doesn't come naturally to everyone.  But feeling good about oneself is a great start.  Family and friends do exert some pressure on us to "conform" to their view of life because it calls their life decisions and choices into question.  At the end of the day you are the one who has to life your life and sometimes it can be hard when others are negative.  As you grow older and eventually move out of your family home and influence you will be able to make your own way.  You may think that will be a long time from now but in reality it isn''t.  You can and will be happy.  Many of us here didn't have a clue we were transgender at your age and if we did we were scared to speak of it.  There is so much information and services for us now.  So even if you cannot get therapy or an appointment with the GIC don't despair as you have time.  Bide it well.   Do well in school as a sound education will hopefully beget you sound employment.  One thing that holds a lot of younger people back is financial ability.  So reassure yourself by doing what you can to get to where you want to be, when the time comes.   It won't be long.  

 

Jani

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Heathick
On 8/18/2019 at 5:04 AM, Mackenzie said:

It is normal, but search your feelings, and ask yourself when ever you think it, "What brings me joy, being a girl or being a boy."

 

I *love* this question. I think it deserves to be emphasized and repeated. I can't think of a better compass to follow.

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