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Ironic isnt it?


Maid In Bedlam

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Once upon a time i would dream to wear skirts. Even dream of wearing a  dress everyday. Instead of jeans and male associated clothing.

 

Now 5 years after i officially started transition and acomplished my goals. What do I wear? mainly Jeans and leggings. Perhaps a pair of cropped Jeggins. But hardly ever wear skirts or dresses.

Granted they are more female orientated. But are still trousers and was not part of the dream

 

The world was supposed to be filled with angel dust and pink ponys! What happened to it? Did it change or did I?

 

A case of fantasy vesus reality perhaps?

 

Isnt it ironic that. All those things you believed to be for the better are sometimes just a false created illusion.

 

Im not complaining, far from it. I love how my life turned out and would never wish to be how it was. But real life compared to what we think it will be like is a very diffrent almost parallel universe.

 

Another thing i do miss from those days were you could just get up. Some cold water in the face comb across my hair and those clothes will do and then off out the door. Instead of getting up. Moisterise. Try not to spend half an hour deciding what to wear. Washing fully.,including a hair wash or even shower then half hour with makeup. Before thinking maybe that wasnt the right top today and spending another 10 to 20 minutes picking something you think more suitable. Then being able to leave. Thats after stuggling if its warm with the buckle on a pair of sandals for another 10 minutes.

 

Now i as well as work I keep a home and cook for my partner everyday.  Not something i originally imagined. Dont get me wrong i love it but again it reverts back to where have the pink ponys and sprinkles of angel dust gone? That wasnt part of the plan. But is now a big part of my life. Didnt even consider it.

 

There is some plus sides. Lets not be so hasty.

 

People smile more. Well i notice it. Maybe its just me with a more positive demener. Just the other day a fella come up and spoke to me and my pal when we was out at the shops. He wasnt tryimng to sort out a date. He was much older than both of us but. told us we both looked lovely and just wanted to chat about how lovely the day was and this un that. Now i doubt if that would have happened to me 10 years ago. Plus i even recall his name. Now tell me way back i would have imagined how much nicer the world would seem by a transition and i would have just laughed at you.  But it does seem to be.

 

I can now be all emotional and say awww at something cute and sweet and not feel like its a threat to my manhood. the shackles of playing a role i was never good at are now broken for good.

 

I made my bed and im very happy to lie in it.  The dream never became a nightmare just an altered perception

 

Im not going to whine saying "My life never turned out the way i imagined". Even with all the negatives its still better but in a diffrent way to my thinking and reality of 10 years ago

 

 

 

So a quick question for the ladies who have reached there goal. Does that sound like you? Is it just me? I hope not to save my sanity ?

 

You male of the species do not know how easy you have it.  Been there so can rightly compare. However in some areas it lags behind greatly.

 

When you can sit for a moment and compare the diffrences there far more than you could imagine  . But  do you have the realisation, what you imagined was just an elaborate fantasy you created in your mind?

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It does sound a great deal like my experience with the exception that i do wear skirts quite often unless work on the farm makes pants more appropriate.

The old fantasies about being a "hottie" are gone and now life is simpler even though there may be a bit more time required in self care and appearance.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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Just now, Maid In Bedlam said:

The world was supposed to be filled with angel dust and pink ponys! What happened to it? Did it change or did I?

Personally, My world is filled with Unicorns and Fairy dust, ☺️?. Reality sometimes interferes with my world, but thats life. 

When im finally comfortable enough to wear skirts and dresses on a daily basis, it will either be shorts or skirts/dresses. I will avoid wearing pants for as long as possible, I only wear pants when necessary.

As soon as I can get rid of my facial hair, I will be doing the make up thing, but that will also be situational, I dont think Ill be going all out, because sometimes, lipstick and mascara is all a girl really needs. 

Just now, Maid In Bedlam said:

So a quick question for the ladies who have reached there goal. Does that sound like you? Is it just me? I hope not to save my sanity

I dont think I will change much, I havent changed yet, and Im still on the same path while everything is happening. Im very Happy and comfortable, (lipstick on, and face moisturized and loving it!)

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10 minutes ago, Charlize said:

 

The old fantasies about being a "hottie" are gone

 

 

So those throughts  of being fed grapes by half naked men just like cleopatra are now a thing of the past Charlize?

Ill speak to the dream boys. See if we can sort something out ?

 

Im sure that isnt the case. Ive seen the pictures. Your still a hottie so there. Just a more mature one who can still tame a Big BMW motorbike.  ?

 

BTW. Im looking forwald to your tale of riding the lil Scooter

 

Just now, Ellora said:

I dont think I will change much, I havent changed yet, and Im still on the same path while everything is happening. Im very Happy and comfortable, (lipstick on, and face moisturized and loving it!)

 

Even a bit of foundation blush and masscara/Lipstick etc takes me half an hour. I guess i have more cracks in the pavement than i use to? But this is just for everyday. So not to silly

 

Its mostly hair to be honest. Especially when i wash it. Takes so much work. But hey ho.

 

I said things wouldnt change. But they did. Give it another few years. But in saying that if they do then im am sure they will change with still plenty of unicorns and perhaps lashings of fairydust. :angel:

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I have to take a shower before leaving the house. My hair doesn’t have to be perfect but in place. And I spend less time getting clothes on if I decide the day before but sometimes weather fools me so I’m stuck picking out new clothes or trying to find them. I always moisturize. I usually wear jeans but lately they are more form fitting and less roomy so they don’t look very manly. I suppose if I did try to dress very manly I’d look pretty ridiculous now. Even in more unisex clothes I am starting to look more feminine and less distinct. I’m not as lucky with makeup so it’s either all or nothing. I can put on a “no makeup look” but it’s still a full face. I think the bigger differences are not in clothing choices but in how the feminine mind processes things in a more measured way. There’s less rush, not that there are no times where rushing happens, but it’s less important to rush. Guys like to hurry, get it done, push it through. But then again I’ve always been the one who stops to not just smell the flowers, but sit in the garden and people watch. I think growing older and realizing what femininity really is, that it’s more than the clothes, has opened my eyes to who I’ve always been. It’s just cosmetics at this point.

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Just now, Maid In Bedlam said:

Its mostly hair to be honest. Especially when i wash it. Takes so much work. But hey ho.

Ive been blessed with curly hair, and it is long too. I do not have to much , other than leave in some conditioner, and my hair takes care of the rest. 

 

Oh i will probably take a bit to put on make up when im feeling extra girly, but i guess it doesnt bother me as much when i do. I really like every little bit of everything like make up and skirts. Thats part of my Happy Place. 

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Just now, Maid In Bedlam said:

I said things wouldnt change. But they did. Give it another few years. But in saying that if they do then im am sure they will change with still plenty of unicorns and perhaps lashings of fairydust. :angel:

Heehee, probably, Im just enjoying it all. Maybe get some glitter and sprinkle it on yourself every now and when needed?  ?

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It all comes down to reality world versus fantasy world.  This isn't the 1950's when women wore dresses every day, everywhere.  We strive to be comfortable and stylish, and to have our clothing work for us towards that goal.  

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It has go a little to that thinking, but I still love to dress up and strive to look my best when out for the Sunday shop. I don't think I would get back to jeans or trousers every day. It's just not me. I do wear leggings much of the time though, usually with a short skirt for modesty. At this present moment as I am sat here writing I am wearing my new winter ankle boots, breaking them in a bit (womens boots are generally narrower so although the size is right, just need a little coaxing). I am thinking, even visualising, what I will wear with them. Ok one has to be realistic, but fantasies can come true. It's working to make it happen.

 

I still wonder about men, and how their 'quick and simple' approach is lost when you consider plonking a dress over your head takes seconds. One of my first thoughts was how quick it was to dress in the summer with undies and a dress.  In winter I still love the feeling of the cosy layered approach that I never felt with menswear.

 

Yes, I too moisturise all the time for my skin. I only usually wear any makeup when out. I use foundation, a hint of lipstick and define eybrows, partly for skin protection and to give a boost. It's interesting to read the 'half an hour for makeup' @Maid In Bedlam. I remember one day at work discussing makeup with a woman co-worker. We were wearing similar makeup. She sounded shocked when I told her I spent that long putting it on. I have always taken a long time with things so it's not that different (how did I spend so long getting organsised even as a man?). I love the pampering LOL.

 

As for angel dust and pink ponies? Well I still wakeup in the morning surrounded by my cuddly dogs LOL

 

Yes it does become everyday, as does any routine. I do still look around and enjoy my freedom though.

 

Tracy

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3 hours ago, tracy_j said:

surrounded by my cuddly dogs

Cuddly dogs will beat out angel dust and  pink ponies any day! ?????

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My angle dust disappeared in the 70's after we buried the hippie(and set some substances aside).   

12 hours ago, Jani said:

 This isn't the 1950's when women wore dresses every day, everywhere.

I rarely wear dresses but find skirts so comfortable.  Maybe at first it was to boost my confidence, making a gender statement.  Now its a matter of comfort.  I'm looking forward to cool days with long skirts with long socks or fleece tights in the worst of it.  

I still have a little black mini skirt.  In my teen and early adult life they were part of fashion.  Halloween?

I do find it a pity that so few women wear skirts.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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22 minutes ago, Charlize said:

I do find it a pity that so few women wear skirts.

I know!  I have a nice selection of colorful skirts that I try to work into my daily wear whenever I can.  

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Dont get me wrong. I got plenty of skirts. Some even to short to be called a skirt. More a pelmet.

 

I just do not really wear them to often. In fact where i am your more inclined to see a man in a kilt than a woman in a skirt.

 

Summer heat is a diffrent story. In the summer im dresses all the way. But its Scotland. There isnt much and when there is you make the most of it.

 

Women of my age and area just dont wear them to often. In fact if i do wear one i do believe i am one of the very few that are round here.

 

In the days when i tucked. Skirts were just so easy. Now it doesnt matter as there is nothing to tuck.

 

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@Maid In Bedlam now I finally understand your avatar! No I suppose that Scotland isn’t very skirt friendly with the weather. Moist damp cold air would make me choose something else to wear, like heavy wool sweaters, maybe some jeans, or wool pants and muck boots. Not the scratchy kind though. My skin needs merino wool or felt/flannel. I wish I still had my cashmere sweater. It’s one of those comfy things that just disappeared over the years and I suspect someone stole. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Look what you all done to me.

 

Today I wore a skirt and heels and it wasnt even sunny,. My goodness.

 

What is the world coming to ?

 

I will admit it is nice to once in a while. Just so i can still feel a tiny bit femine.  Plus apprently i have great legs. Shame to waste them. Ive never seen it myself. But i can only go by what i am told. I did at first think after being told this : "Whats this person after?" ☺️

 

However i will be going back to leggings tommrow i expect.

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I don't wear many skirts. I will sometimes, but until recently I only had a white peasant skirt. SO comfy, but the white and lacy bits made me afraid to wear it around the cats. Also, I grossly misjudged the size when I bought it so I need to pin it WAY back to wear. I got a new denim one just the other day though so we'll see how that goes on warm days. Of course there is NO ladylike way to get out of my car in a skirt.

 

I usually wear girl jeans cut to show off my legs. I just bought a dark washed pair that's going to look lovely with my Halloween costume. I fell in love with the color in the store and absolutely had to own it. You can never have too many pairs of jeans. At least jeans that fit you right.

 

So yeah, fairy dust, unicorns, pixies... I don't think we're ever done becoming though. There's always something new to try and accomplish. I hope I never stop turning into the person I want to be.

 

Hugs!

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9 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

I don't wear many skirts. I will sometimes, but until recently I only had a white peasant skirt.

 

 

 

I like those. But my partners doesnt like me in them. I wasnt said   but i know the signs.  So I no longer have any. I did own a couple. One Black and one  White . White for the summer. But alias the charity shops have them now.

 

Mini skirts i think is an age thing. I said up a few posts I had some skirts which were less a skirt and more just a pelmet. Which is true. However i doubt i would wear them. I have been passed a golden rule when it comes to skirt length. Short enough to be a woman but long enough to be a lady.  That rule  has served me very well.

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2 hours ago, Maid In Bedlam said:

 

Mini skirts i think is an age thing. I said up a few posts I had some skirts which were less a skirt and more just a pelmet. Which is true. However i doubt i would wear them. I have been passed a golden rule when it comes to skirt length. Short enough to be a woman but long enough to be a lady.  That rule  has served me very well.

 

That rule sounds good. I follow similarly but I find the skirts I like tend to be short. I have some which are about right, just above the knee, but several which I don't wear often as they are rather short. The shorter ones do work with thicker tights or leggings though. Luckily I have the legs to show but it still depends a lot on what I am doing or where I am going. Short skirts over leggings are useful around the hose or garden when I am working just for modesty.

 

Tracy

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On 9/22/2019 at 9:35 AM, Charlize said:

The old fantasies about being a "hottie" are gone and now life is simpler even though there may be a bit more time required in self care and appearance.

Hugs,

Charlize

Timely, that.

I have spent the past 6 months in a funk over realizing that I wasn't going to be a 19 year old college girl no matter what I did.

Now I'm more focused on being myself.

While I wish I were more attractive to men, I am just going to have to work on myself a bit more. But I look in the mirror and like myself more now.

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Oh. What I was going to post but got distracted by the "hottie" thing: I would love to wear skirts, I think, but don't really have the figure for it. This winter will see me at the sewing machine some, working on a romper, some tops and other things to wear.

If I had the figure I'd probably wear a shameless mini skirt.

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4 hours ago, TammyAnne said:

I have spent the past 6 months in a funk over realizing that I wasn't going to be a 19 year old college girl no matter what I did.

 

Oh my yes. I would have absolutely loved the chance to be a 19 year old college girl. You miss opportunities flown by. However, all you can really do about it is look forward and be a better, more authentic you. Maybe make it a little easier for those of us that come later to bloom sooner if we can.

 

Skirt length is strictly below the knee. I bought a mini. I looked at myself in the mirror. Realized it was ridiculous and put it in the bottom drawer. Oh my. I just realized I dress like a schoolteacher. Eh. I rock it. It's all good.

 

Hugs!

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      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • MaeBe
      So…I didn’t know your Facebook avatar was public. So, on my birthday, a couple people used a group avatar message to wish me a happy birthday…and now my Facebook friends can see a short video of my female avatar dancing with an old friend’s and another with my uncle’s avatars. So am I “Facebook out” now? 😬
    • Davie
      No, they are not. Truth wins in the end and this report is full of lies that poison the whole thing: see this: "Dr. Cass Backpedals From Review: HRT, Blockers Should Be Made Available it's said. Dr. Cass's latest statements are likely to cast more doubt on the validity of the study, which has come under fire for disregarding substantial evidence on trans care." https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/dr-cass-backpedals-from-review-hrt?publication_id=994764&post_id=143743897&isFreemail=true&r=rebf4&triedRedirect=true I hope Dr. Cass wins The Mengele Award for it.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boyfriend and I went to a support group for spouses dating or married to a transgender person on Tuesday night for the first time.It was amazing meeting other couples like us.One was a genetic woman whom has been dating a transgender male for the first time and she is supporting his transition.Us,they were amazed by us agreeing on something we said,love and acceptance have brought us together
    • Abigail Genevieve
      By which I mean there is a cultural stereotype of what a man is, and one of what a woman is.  Even worse, of what a transgender person is.   You be you.   I read of a boy who thought he was a girl because he did not adhere to some (rather toxic) conceptions of what it means to be a man, so he decided he was a girl.  He was told he didn't have to conform to stereotype and got happy. "You mean I don't have to transition?" He didn't want to, and was relieved.   Once upon a time if you were transgender they told you either you transition or die.   Incorporate the best of what it means to be a man and the best of what it means to be a woman as much as you possibly can, and let the rest go.  Be fully human. Be alive. Don't conform to some cultural crud.
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