i don't know any more

[drew]

hi i am.... starting to have doubts about myself for the longest time i thought i was nonbinary but recently I've been feeling like more of a boy than any thing. i am so confused! am i nonbinary or just ftm? i need advice, how do i figure this out is there like a manual at the beginning of my life that i forgot to read? i really need help on what to do ? 

[Maid In Bedlam]

Honestly. We do not know you or your situation.

 

I would be very sceptical of any advise you may be offered online. Even if its with good intentions.

 

Do yourself a favor and go talk to someone about how you feel. Someone with qualifications who can listen and discuss your situation.

 

Deciding which path to take is a very personal choice.  I could say oh take this one or not. But you need to choose with guidance from someone who is in the know.

 

Good luck on finding yourself.

 

One thing i will say. You only have one life as far as we know. Live it to the best of your ability and before making a choice that will effect you for the rest of it. See all the options. Thats where those who can aid you come in.

[VickySGV]

These thoughts are bothering you for a while I assume so we know you are not cis gender.,  That gets this out of the way.  Take a deep breath and get the idea this is a journey and not a race.  You could be both, either, neither or something else and in the minute it does not matter which one you end up with really since all of your possibilities lie on the same path way, and a walk will give you more time to find the real you than a run will since you might run past the answer and never know it.  First thing is to find a counselor who knows how people deal with gender issues and can help you make the smallest steps you can on the journey to being comfortable in your own skin, but there will be a lot of them so don't worry about not reaching your goal.  The small steps help you and others get used to a new and improving you in safety.  I have been out in one way or another for 20 years which may be more than or most of your life time and still have days I am not sure where I am in things but I am happy being me as I am. 

[TommieAnne]

Drew, sometimes when I am searching out my path in life, I try to remember how a river channel often winds, divides, then doubles back on itself, seemingly lost but always finding its way to the sea.

In my own case, I've spent a long time trying to find a label for myself, only to finally decide that I'm just "me" and that's good enough. Labeling and boxing into compartments is probably better for vegetables than people.

I wish you well in your search, hope you can find happiness and peace in whatever you choose, even if it's just "you!"

[Charlize]

Drew i can only suggest that there is nothing wrong in being in flux.  I think many of us are in a constant state of change.  I know that some days i feel very butch.  I can think of nothing more enjoyable than doing work or activities which have long been associated with being male.  At other times i feel the need to be "pretty".  

We all have separate paths that bring us comfort.  Being here helped me.  I was also told to see a gender therapist.  My time with the therapist helped me as well.  

Whatever your path may be try to enjoy the journey.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Astrid]

Drew,

 

As you can see from the above posts, for folks who are not cis, it's completely normal to be uncertain for periods of time about one's gender identity.  It's not a steady progression -- uncertainties occur at irregular times, and last for different amounts of time.  But it IS a journey, and it's most definitely real, and it's about being kind to yourself by not keeping your gender identity, whatever it is at the moment, buried inside.  Finding even small ways to express yourself can help (for example, I'm wearing a butterfly necklace under my shirt at the moment).

 

With best wishes,

 

Astrid

[TommieAnne]

If it's any consolation, I keep being on the fence about what label to use here. I've edited my profile twife today from mtf to trans to mtf.

I'm not convinced that a label adequately describes me, or that I've found the right ones. I may never get that part clear.

My goal is to live a happy and fulfilling life.

[Maid In Bedlam]

47 minutes ago, TammyAnne said:

I'm not convinced that a label adequately describes me, or that I've found the right ones. I may never get that part clear.

My goal is to live a happy and fulfilling life.

 

For what its worth.

 

Why have a label on yourself? Does it really justify your humanity?

 

What ever you call yourself in the end whats left is you. Not the word.

 

Have a meaningful and forfilling life should be everyones goal. Its what our ideology should be endevouring to achieve. You do not need a label for it.

 

Good luck

[TommieAnne]

44 minutes ago, Maid In Bedlam said:

 

For what its worth.

 

Why have a label on yourself? Does it really justify your humanity?

 

What ever you call yourself in the end whats left is you. Not the word.

 

Have a meaningful and forfilling life should be everyones goal. Its what our ideology should be endevouring to achieve. You do not need a label for it.

 

Good luck

Thank you dear!

[Lexi C]

Tammy and Bedlem are 100% on mark, and the advice from rest is very necessary and accurate to hear as well. I can tell you  I have been out to myself for 4yrs as CD, finally came out to fam and friends this yr. And When they ask me," what do we or what you like to be refer as . " I always Alex. I been Alex all my life way change that now. I am still the same wise cracking boarding on childless personality person I was in the1st grade as I am at 55. As a matter of fact. I still don't  know what Cis mean...When my GT mention that to me. I told her ," Nah all my test came back Neg..So I good."   Your Drew and I am Alex we just see world  in a more enlighten way as fem's...Hope this helps. Be Proud, Be save and Kick Ass