Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

AJ Baumann

New to Community

Recommended Posts

AJ Baumann

Hi everyone, I am AJ and a 65-year old TG woman who came out this Spring. Am enjoying my journey so far and hope to start my hormone therapy treatments next month! So yes, I am excited and blessed by having having a loving soulmate and a supportive Doctor and Counselor.

I hope to learn from others that input to the various boards as there are many questions one has and issues one runs into daily.

I love tbe outdoors and enjoy animals, music, cards, fly-fishing & bocce.

We love to travel and are very happy to own a wee Toll House in Scotland to visit.

Cheers to all,

AJ Baumann

 

Share this post


Link to post
SamanthaC

Hi AJ - Welcome!!! Looking forward to hearing more about you journey - you've certainly come to the right place!

Share this post


Link to post
JustineM

Welcome AJ! This forum has been a fantastic source of information and support. Look forward to hearing more about your journey.

Share this post


Link to post
Jani

Hello AJ and welcome!  You're not alone in starting this journey later in life.  I think you're at right place for advise and conversation about the ups and downs of daily life.  We have members at all stages of life and all around the world.   It sounds like you have a great life there in Oregon.  You can't miss! 

 

As the song goes,  

"Best is yet to come and babe won't that be fine
You think you've seen the sun
But you ain't seen it shine"

 

Cheers, Jani

 

Share this post


Link to post
SaraAW

Welcome AJ. Thanks for sharing, hope to hear more. 
 

*hugs*
 

Sara

Share this post


Link to post
TammyAnne

Welcome AJ! Indeed, it seems a lot of us have waited a long time before setting out on the path. Even if it the journey seems to start out solitary, there's a crowd of us coming along!

Share this post


Link to post
Robin68

Welcome AJ! It is encouraging to see others like you coming out in your sixties. I am 68 and it gives me hope.

 

Robin68 

Share this post


Link to post
Charlize

Welcome AJ.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Share this post


Link to post
Susan R

A warm Welcome to you, AJ!  I thank God every day for my loving wife and her support.  That will make your transition so much easier.  I simply don't think I could have continued on my journey without her in my life.  You know how blessed you are, I'm sure.

 

Glad you found us,

Susan R🌷

Share this post


Link to post
AJ Baumann
6 hours ago, Susan R said:

A warm Welcome to you, AJ!  I thank God every day for my loving wife and her support.  That will make your transition so much easier.  I simply don't think I could have continued on my journey without her in my life.  You know how blessed you are, I'm sure.

 

Glad you found us,

Susan R🌷

Thank you Susan, I know you are right. We are both blessed. I couldn't do this without her support.   Many mates seem to have issues and leave or mistreat their partner. We are lucky..AJ

Share this post


Link to post
AJ Baumann
11 hours ago, Robin68 said:

Welcome AJ! It is encouraging to see others like you coming out in your sixties. I am 68 and it gives me hope.

 

Robin68 

Hi Robin, it is a journey we have been waiting for our entire lives.  As they say with the kids grown and retired, now was an okay time for "me". It is certainly a bit different with some things at this age, but I am being me and happy now.

Thx, AJ

Share this post


Link to post
AJ Baumann

Hi folks,

I am confident for myself but worried about others processing my "news" about AJ.  I am in a very rural and conservative area & drive 90 miles to find support folks and my Doctors. In my area, with my 40 year history here, coming out is not going to be easy.....for those who have woked with me or socialized with me. I think I will send a "Dear Friends" letter out to those closer to us so I wouldn't suprise them when they see me locally about.  Any thoughts? I know I will shock & may lose some of them as closer friends. AJ

Share this post


Link to post
Jani

Understand that while a letter may be a good approach for some instances, I'm not sure about a wide distribution as it may be circulated beyond what you desire, sooner than you want.  I don't know how many people you are talking about but if small you might try face to face meetings (maybe in small groups) so you can answer questions and gain true support and understanding.   

Share this post


Link to post
AJ Baumann
52 minutes ago, Jani said:

Understand that while a letter may be a good approach for some instances, I'm not sure about a wide distribution as it may be circulated beyond what you desire, sooner than you want.  I don't know how many people you are talking about but if small you might try face to face meetings (maybe in small groups) so you can answer questions and gain true support and understanding.   

Thanks Jani, there are about 12 couples mainly that we socialize with. I too worry though that information to them does get back to my daughter who has area connections.  I plan to come out to her and my son-inlaw plus my bother in November. My folks have passed.  I wouldn't send this out until after Thanksgiving. My brother is distant in Minnesota while my daughter is close. 

My concern is alleviating their suprise and worry when they first meet AJ.

Share this post


Link to post
TammyAnne

I like the idea of small, face to face group meetings.

Since I also live in a rural area in a small town, I find myself worrying about the inevitable reactions of ignorant people. Mostly I keep to myself.

I can identify with your concerns. Wish I could offer a solution.

But I think keeping it small and low key is good.

Share this post


Link to post
AJ Baumann
4 hours ago, TammyAnne said:

I like the idea of small, face to face group meetings.

Since I also live in a rural area in a small town, I find myself worrying about the inevitable reactions of ignorant people. Mostly I keep to myself.

I can identify with your concerns. Wish I could offer a solution.

But I think keeping it small and low key is good.

Thanks TammyAnne, I agree keeping it small will likely work best. What I wonder mostly is how to help others become more comfortable with me.  I know that the Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle of denial;anger;bargaining;depression & acceptace stages will apply for many. I recognize that for some...maybe most, initial reactions to my TG self will be "loss".  Loss of a brother, husband, friend, Dad etc., inst

Share this post


Link to post
TammyAnne
16 hours ago, AJ Baumann said:

Thanks TammyAnne, I agree keeping it small will likely work best. What I wonder mostly is how to help others become more comfortable with me.  I know that the Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle of denial;anger;bargaining;depression & acceptace stages will apply for many. I recognize that for some...maybe most, initial reactions to my TG self will be "loss".  Loss of a brother, husband, friend, Dad etc., inst

As I found in therapy, sometimes those stages get jumbled, disorderly or even combined - denial/anger, etc. My therapist had to keep reminding me that going through cycle doesn't mean it's done, that it can recycle for a while depending on how someone's process is working.

In the case of rural neighbors I'm not expecting many of them to want to work on the process much - some may go to denial and stay stuck there. But I expect there will be some who take things in stride and accept the changes.

Wishing you the best in your path as things develop.

Share this post


Link to post
gennee

Hi AJ and welcome.

 

😊

Share this post


Link to post
AJ Baumann

Thanks gennee. It is nice to find supportive community 💚 AJ

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 193 Guests (See full list)

    • Markjvp
    • Miseria
    • Charlize
    • Ellora
    • A. Dillon
    • DonnaBall
    • Mahaney
    • SaraAW
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      69,719
    • Total Posts
      630,124
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      6,084
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Newest Member
    magical realism
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    No users celebrating today
  • Posts

    • DonnaBall
      Yes I know.  She is trying to take care of her mother from 1200 miles away.  She uses Visiting Angles most of the day but it's difficult when situations crop up. She's on the phone a lot!  As far as spiteful, you would have to know her to understand her.  She is a kind person and has been kind to me throughout this ordeal but cannot tolerate ANY crossdressing even when she is not home.  She has known about my TG for 34 years so there will be NO change in her attitude. She won't even read anything about it, if it's not from God it does not count.  She feels the secular world has a lot of things wrong. Otherwise she is a loving person to everyone, never judges people and never complains, whines or nags.  First it's a religious thing with her and of course she feels it's ruining her life.  She thinks I have a choice and I am just believing a lie from Satin.  That's what I have to work with and of course I can't win when God is used.  So far she has been very reasonable with the financial settlement and that's the most important thing to me, but I wonder where she places in the spectrum of wives responses.  Is she average, or extremely uncooperative?    I just want to get this separation overwith and I am being careful not to respond to her infrequent anger about her situation.   
    • Robin68
      Hi Jackie,   I have experienced a few disconnections from the site and this undoubtedly explains why. I hope you can resolve the technical problems soon! 🤗    
    • ToniTone
      I always wanted to take aikido. It looks effective. 
    • Susan R
      @Charlize @Jani Thank you both for the reassurance.  I never want to ruin a good thing with a family relationship.  I was playing it safe to some degree but when you have only bits and pieces of a particular situation you’re serving an entree of ‘best guess’ with a side of ‘wisdom’.   Thanks again, Susan R🌷
    • Jani
      Well yes and no.  My dad still uses the nickname I used for decades.  It sounds silly when he does it.  My wife even commented on it when we last saw them.  I'm at the point of not caring anymore since I'm comfortable with who I am and if its said loud enough in public, he's the one who seems odd.  Plus we don't see my parents face to face regularly.   So the daughter just may see it as not worth the effort.    This would be a nice outcome.     Jani
    • Aidan5
      Hey Spence! Welcome to the forum, we welcome you with open arms    
    • Charlize
      I would have done the same thing you did Susan.  I say that from my own experience.  It has taken my son many years to properly name me and not refer to me as Dad in public.  When we are together in private it doesn't bother me but in public it can cause confusion and embarrassment.  If the woman does use her daughters chosen name and it disturbers her daughter i'm sure she will say something.  My guess is that she would see it as a final acceptance.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Susan R
      Thanks ladies, I trust both of you for your sage advice.   Susan R🌷
    • magical realism
      Thanks susan, and you dont have to think i was putting up with anything, its just nice to hear im not completely alone even in some small way,heh
    • Aidan5
      Haha that's true.     He is so hyper and excited all the time it is adorable and hard to keep up with him, and I thought I was hyper!! But I really think he was throwing some hints at me and I am definitely taking them and keeping them. He seems like the kind who likes to tease playfully so I better watch out haha.  
    • VickySGV
      Asking the Trans person is always in good taste and correct manners.  My only caution is to do it at a private time between the two of them.  
    • Susan R
      Welcome Magical Realism, a pleasure to meet you...You are not alone in this at all.  I too have been having dreams like this.  I’ve had them for decades but since going full time they now have changed slightly. Mine were a little different [pre-transition] in that the fact that I was presenting male except I had breasts accompanied by a bra under my male clothes. The funny thing is that in almost every dream, the people in the dream were unknowing of my little secret until later in the dream, I eventually always get outed by some ridiculous circumstance..lol.  But oddly enough, since actively starting my transition, I am always presenting as Susan.  It’s almost as if my subconscious is aware of my conscious activities...(kidding)   Well Magical Realism, thanks for putting up with my ramblings. These things happen from time to time. I’m glad you came aboard...hope you stay for the ride.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Jackie C.
      I would have been a little more direct and said, "Maybe you should ask her." That's just me though. I can't think of a reason I would be uncomfortable if my mother started calling me by my actual legal name and using the correct pronouns. Well, I might be a little skeeved out. We're not close and she's been hostile about it up until now. She'd be up to something. Your new friend though, she seems sincere.   I don't see anything wrong with your answer. It never hurts to try and make a loved one more comfortable when you're talking to them.   Hugs!
    • Susan R
      My wife & I are attending an inclusive church regularly now and afterwards we attend an adult class at the church.  Right now, we’re in the middle of a 7 week study called ”Dialogues on Sexuality”.  The class focuses on LGBTQ+ inclusiveness, birth gender, gender roles, church patriarchy, and gender identity.  It’s been very good.  I think this class is the church’s way to get the members of congregation to learn, understand and adopt their “inclusiveness doctrine”.  It’s early in the game but they’re trying so hard and for the most part, we feel very welcome there.   My wife brought one of the class members over to me after the class was over.  My wife had been talking to her and confided with her in the small group time.  The nice woman had an interesting question for me. Her daughter is a 36 year old MtF.  The daughter is now called by her new female name by everyone except her.  So this lady asked me, “If my daughter hasn’t specifically asked me to call her by her female name but has asked others in front of her to use her female name, should I continue to use her male birth name?” Then added, “Do you think she minds?”   I had to pause and think.  I said, ”You're using all the correct pronouns, why not match that when you address her and do what she asks the others around her to do.”  I added, “I think out of respect and love, she is simply not correcting you.  Make her day and starting right now, only use her new female name...see how she reacts. Or you could just ask her but doing it out of your own volition will probably make her happiest”    I honestly don’t know if I gave her the best advice because on the small chance her daughter wanted only her to call her by her birth name I could of messed up a good thing.  I just saw it through my own eyes.  Well, this lady and then my wife started tearing up and she now wants us to get together.  I’m just hoping I helped instead of hampered the situation.  I really don’t know the daughter so it’s a hard call and wondering if I there was any advice, different or not, you all would’ve given this nice lady.   Susan R🌷
    • AdriannaB
      I was comfortable presenting as female
  • Upcoming Events

×
×
  • Create New...