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What Makes Non-Binary A Good Fit For You?


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I know a lot of mtf want to jump in and have an orch as soon as but im all for u been on testosterone suppression for some time..i found that even after my first suppression meds it took a fair while for things to settle. Then comes the period to see how u like life without testosterone ..for me it wasa bit of a double edged sword.loosing the test was like a relief, a feeling of that feels better but also a feeling of so now I want more lol..now ive got to the stage of life is lived without test and has for some time..id like an orch just to tidy things up and remove an injection need. id stop the med but the doc wont guarantee that the testicles wont jump back into life.ive long passed the must have now stage and now its more like must get that done when ive got a minute lol..

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On 10/10/2019 at 3:01 PM, Jackie C. said:

Ah, to live in the UK

I think ah to live in the states lol..the uk is going down the sewer with this Brexit thing..we do have state gender clinics but they are now so over subscribed they only take a limited number of patients every year so waiting lists are now 2/3/4 years just for a first appointment at which they say hi,take ur blood pressure and give u another appointment usually 6 months plus away...we have private gender clinics but boy they are expensive and mostly in London for the rich set...and yes mc donalds seem smaller here lol..

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one thing ive been curious about is with the test blocker my sex drive diminished, hasnt gone completely like they all said it would.when u started with estrogen did u get e return of sex drive??

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OK, how about "Ah, to live in a country that isn't crazy?" I'm pretty sure the US is racing the UK to the bottom right now. It'll be close. The UK is in a better place overall, but the US has a larger, more robust system. I'm seriously considering claiming asylum somewhere if Trump gets a second term.

 

I never really lost my sex drive. It's just different now. How to describe it. I'm more interested in cuddling to start. Oh, that's a good analogy: It's like your car in the winter. It doesn't start as quick, but it gets there with a little coaxing. I find an hour or so of foreplay with my spouse... kissing, cuddling, petting, etc... really gets me ready to go. Afterwards, there's more afterglow and cuddling. It's not urgent. It's more like a gentle float down a lazy river on a clear summer day. You get there, but it's more about the ride. That's not quite right. It's more intense than that, but not nearly the drive to, "Rar! Must cross line!" like I had on male hormones. Oh there we go, more like a really good massage. More of my body gets involved and its like a whole body, "Oh, my." Like I said, satisfying, but longer and less intense.

 

I probably didn't explain that very well. I keep running into that. English needs better words for girl stuff.

 

Hugs!

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i get the drift as it were witht he sex drive..i only asked as I have a mildish one now and wondered if I did go on low dose estrogen if it would kill it or keep it....

 where I live in the uk is rural and away from the cities. My village is a bit old fashioned and a bit behind the times, I joke one day we will get that new fangled electricity stuff...….places like London have become hell holes I couldn't live there it seems violence is growing daily with knife crime ect..I have often said our prisons are too soft as does a larger part of the population but they are so understaffed they have no choice but to let inmates virtualy run the places ..a lot of our prisons are no privately run and just cant get staff to stay and the ones they do get don't last long as surprise  surprise theres nasty convicts in there and they say nasty words to them lol.sorry on my soap box again

I went to new York a few times and loved the place and the surrounding state such a variety of cultures. bet its changed sine then..

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Oh I don't know. We have private prisons and they're expensive and understaffed. Tragically they don't focus on rehabilitation which I think would help (It's been proven to help in other countries that have tried it). From the US (My little space is near Detroit), knife crime seems quaint. There was a pair of women while I was getting my name changed* who were talking about a shootout that had kept them awake a few nights before. Somebody with a pistol and somebody with a shotgun from the sound of it apparently.

Big cultural difference there yeah? We're not the Wild West but...

 

Hugs!

 

*My county seat is in downtown Detroit.

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Back to sex drive on estrogen, yes it rather kills the physical side of libido, but the mind and heart side of libido is still quite present coupled with what becomes a new element which is the flood of emotion that is never present in those born male. Like Jackie says, it takes time to get the motor purring and the cuddling and caressing makes it all a delight.

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good to know...I obviously don't need the male reaction to arousal its redundant,it was more the still wanting a person romantically..after all the years tucking any reaction down there ruins the look lol lol

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  • 1 month later...

Hi! I jumped into this thread with some trepidation - only to find this light-hearted and refreshing. My therapist suggested I consider my presentation as gender non-conforming since although I'm eagerly looking forward to HRT, even with my body softened I will be 250 pounds of linebacker looking 69 year old.

So my decision is made easier knowing that several of you dress similarly to how I do (t-shirts or sweatshirts with jeans or leggings) already. I do not know just yet whether I will go as far as orchi-surgery, although I believe I will. Has anyone experienced any negative results on that? I know NB Adult has alluded to something along those lines.

I'm just curious if there's some hidden pitfall to getting these blasted things out of the way!

PS. Thanks for kindly accepting me. I've been feeling very alone lately.

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2 hours ago, TammyAnne said:

do not know just yet whether I will go as far as orchi-surgery, although I believe I will. Has anyone experienced any negative results on that? I know NB Adult has alluded to something along those lines.

I'm just curious if there's some hidden pitfall to getting these blasted things out of the way!

PS. Thanks for kindly accepting me. I've been feeling very alone lately.

Piece of cake, took around 45 minutes which includes the waiting time for two different locals to take effect. Actual operating time was probably less than 20 minutes. Single slice in the center of the scrotum with a laser knife while the adorable little nurse held my penis out of the way, surgeon brought both out the same small slit and closed it with a couple of dissolving stitches. I asked him when he was starting, he said the left one was out, he was going after the other one. I crunched up on my elbows and said, "Bye fellas!" He asked me why I said that and I told him, "It was the former hard drive for a lot of bad male behavior!" The nurse chuckled. I bought several large bags of frozen peas to put on my crotch as my friend drove me home.

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2 hours ago, NB Adult said:

Piece of cake, took around 45 minutes which includes the waiting time for two different locals to take effect. Actual operating time was probably less than 20 minutes. Single slice in the center of the scrotum with a laser knife while the adorable little nurse held my penis out of the way, surgeon brought both out the same small slit and closed it with a couple of dissolving stitches. I asked him when he was starting, he said the left one was out, he was going after the other one. I crunched up on my elbows and said, "Bye fellas!" He asked me why I said that and I told him, "It was the former hard drive for a lot of bad male behavior!" The nurse chuckled. I bought several large bags of frozen peas to put on my crotch as my friend drove me home.

I can identify with seeing the surgery as a solution to multiple problems. You've alluded to regretting decision though. If I'm not being too personal, was it further surgery (GRS) or the Orchi? I'm not leaning towards further surgery, perhaps not even the Orchi. But certainly want to suppress my testosterone.

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13 hours ago, TammyAnne said:

I can identify with seeing the surgery as a solution to multiple problems. You've alluded to regretting decision though. If I'm not being too personal, was it further surgery (GRS) or the Orchi? I'm not leaning towards further surgery, perhaps not even the Orchi. But certainly want to suppress my testosterone.

 

I don't regret the orchiectomy but did decide to opt out of GRS at the last minute as I realized that further MtF transitioning (for me) would be a huge waste of money, time and effort, would add nothing positive to my quality of life and only serve to destroy my relationship with my spouse forever. Since my life isn't all just about me I opted out and Marcie Bowers refunded half my consult fee which was gracious of her. 

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On 11/15/2019 at 8:18 AM, NB Adult said:

 

I don't regret the orchiectomy but did decide to opt out of GRS at the last minute as I realized that further MtF transitioning (for me) would be a huge waste of money, time and effort, would add nothing positive to my quality of life and only serve to destroy my relationship with my spouse forever. Since my life isn't all just about me I opted out and Marcie Bowers refunded half my consult fee which was gracious of her. 

Ah. Super, that was the answer I hoped to hear! Thank you!

I was afraid there was some hidden pitfall that I'd missed. I think we're on the "same page" and apparently the same path. So hello up there way ahead of me!

I can't imagine not wanting to be rid of these things.

But trying to pass as a woman appears to be a bridge too far. So I'll go as far as I'm comfortable and make the best of it.

If only I'd not waited until nearly 70 to figure all this out!

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    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Seems to me the time and cost is already being spent....on lawsuits.  And schools are absolutely flush with cash, at least around here.  They get enough property taxes, they need to learn appropriate use of funds.  Buy a few less computers and a few more bathrooms, and spend less time on athletics and I'd bet you a hamburger that the issue would be solved in a year.   To me, it seems like the whole bathroom thing is like lancing a boil or a cyst.  A sharp initial pain, and done. People are just resistant to doing it.      I think I could solve most of it...but politicians get too much press off of this to want it solved.   1.  Universal use of individual, gender-neutral, private bathrooms 2.  Universal use of individual, gender-neutral, private spaces for changing athletic clothes 3.  Emphasize co-ed rather than gendered sports.  Focus on physical activity, good sportsmanship, and having FUN.  Lifelong enjoyment, not just competition. 4.  Ban for-profit athletic programs at highschool and college levels, and ban betting/gambling related to athletic programs at educational institutions. 5.  Affirm parental rights consistently, rather than treating it like a salad bar.  That means permitting gender-affirming healthcare with parental consent, AND prohibiting schools keeping secrets from parents.  Adopt the "paperwork principle."  If it is on paper, parents 100% have a right to know about it and be informed on paper, including names/pronouns if such are documented.  If it is verbal only, it is informal enough to be overlooked or discussed verbally if needed.
    • Carolyn Marie
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    • Carolyn Marie
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      I have always thought that the solution to the bathroom question (as well as improved bathroom quality/privacy for everybody) would be individual, gender-neutral, locking bathrooms.  Not this wacky thing we insist on doing with stalls.  It wouldn't take much more space, really.  And it might actually work better.  Ever notice how there's often a line at the door of the women's room, but plenty of free space in the men's?  Yet the men's and women's bathrooms are usually of equal size/capacity? 
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    • Betty K
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    • KayC
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