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Alex C

what dating site are good for dating (NOT HOOK UPS) for trans folk

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Alex C

Hey was wondering if anyone has used F.B dating site or is that a scam to get yr date..I being serious looking for a decent  one..E. harmony and match discriminated against Trans not LGBT but they have no Transgender box. Has anyone have any luck....I might be selfish but I tried of transition just to die alone. Quote from rocket man. Elton: " Mom I am gay, a -awesome person-, .Mom" then I feel sorry for you because you will die a lone with no one to properly love you/"   I said it ( mom is stage 4, sis has her own issues and all my friends are either east coast or married with their on issues) so yes I am lonely, tried of going to bars or groups and coming home more depress then before I left. I am not looking for hook up. I want a real reason to date..so if anyone has any success with a site , meet up  even speed dating place in L.A. I am all ears because frankly I really get close to end.

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Maid In Bedlam
4 hours ago, Alex C said:

Hey was wondering if anyone has used F.B dating site or is that a scam to get yr date.

 

Im the last one to talk about dating. I have no expreiance in it but you sound a little disillusioned  in your plight.

Therefore for what its worth you can have my opnion.

 

I wouldnt use facebook to do anything on let alone date. Its so much a look at me my life is wonderful site. When in reality it just like anyone elses. But decide to leave out the bad points. I will now assume dating on there is much the same.

 

It pains me that match etc do not have a a trans box to tick.  My advise would be on any site like this is to be truthful.  if you did meet someone on a site and they was attacted to you by a fib. Then your worlds going to come crashing down when they find that is not so.

if i ever needed to find a fella. Then i would be seeking Female seeking  Male obviously but would put down my status in the profile. that I was or am a Transsexual woman. Some may think once your transition is complete you should not need to. But if you didnt and it came to pass they found out then. Your deception could potentially ruin it all. Heartbreaks all round if hes a really nice guy.  same goes for them really if they lie about something fundmental.

At my age most are just looking for some love and company. Procreating is just a distant memory. Therefore does not come to be part of it.  However i guess i would be quite fussy. No one wants a problem relationship. Its easy to fall into the rabbit hole of I would rather be in any relationship then be alone. To be honest I was on my own and lived with myself before i met my partner. It wasnt so bad. I only had to answer to myself and could do what i wanted when i wanted. No strings to anyone. I could stay out and never had to worry about going home to cook and clean for anyone. So dont knock it to much.

 

Anyway as i said not much help but just some advise from an old woman who has had a bit of real life expreiance.

 

I know theres a site called plenty of fish or pof. I have heard of match ups happening there. But cannot endorse it as ive never used it. Just heard others talking about it. If someone has used it then maybe they can comment.  I will say on all dating sites there are a certain amount of phychos and persons just looking for a quick squeeze then back in the loop. Just weed them out as you go. Im guessing thats both genders and not just male or female.

 

Speed dating i always wanted to try. But it came to pass i never needed to.

 

4 hours ago, Alex C said:

 Has anyone have any luck....I might be selfish but I tried of transition just to die alone

 

 

Alex. There is someone out there for you. Do not be disheartened. Cupid is a proper illusive little so and so.  I was in your frame of mind that i wooulkd be destined to spend my years alone then out of the blue. I met someone and 5 years later we play house together and have a awesome relationship. and i like to think love each other with equal tenacity. Which will i hope lasts until the day i leave this world.  Never give up in your quest.  As we did originally meet online. But not useing a dating site. It was an oonline game. Which is funny in itself as i never really play online games. But guess just a case of being on the right server at the right time.

 

4 hours ago, Alex C said:

. I am all ears because frankly I really get close to end.

 

 

Close to the end of what Alex? Thats statement is quite scary

 

As i said. Im not much help but dislike seeing you in this predicament. Trying to be positive here for you and giving if i can a little encouragement that its not all doom and gloom

 

Good luck on your quest. Never give up

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Maid In Bedlam
52 minutes ago, Maid In Bedlam said:

 

. Then i would be seeking Female seeking  Male obviously but would put down my status in the profile. that I was or am a Transsexual woman. Some may think once your transition is complete you should not need to. But if you didnt and it came to pass they found out then. Your deception could potentially ruin it all. Heartbreaks all round if hes a really

 

I read that back to myself. that could be seen as decitfull

What i meant to say was others would see it as perhaps deception as we do live in the real world and not the internet world

To many that is quite fundemental. So not deception just honesty. they know i have a history that im willing to be open about.

 

 

Sorry for my poor interpretation. My bad

 

Now back on topic.

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TammyAnne

I wish I had some good advice in this arena, but I'm afraid not.

Most of the "social media" sites are mass media hawking their ads. Dating sites I've not really tried in a long time. Usually I just try to make some friends, and sometimes things blossom from there.

But I was actually thinking to myself that I wish I could find a good dating site. Some friends suggested "grinder" but within 30 seconds of putting in my profile I was getting hammered from guys all over the world for hook ups. Sigh. It's beyond sad.

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Maid In Bedlam
1 hour ago, TammyAnne said:

But I was actually thinking to myself that I wish I could find a good dating site. Some friends suggested "grinder"

 

 

I was under the impression Grinder was a site for the Gay Comunity. Not for Trans Persons.

 

 If your trans M to F thern you aspiring to be a Female With respect Not a gay man.  If you was a Gay guy looking for a quick one then thats the place i expect.

 

maybe its changed but i doubt it.

 

1 hour ago, TammyAnne said:

But I was actually thinking to myself that I wish I could find a good dating site. Some friends suggested "grinder" but within 30 seconds of putting in my profile I was getting hammered from guys all over the world for hook ups. Sigh. It's beyond sad.

 

 

Yes i have alos heard this to from back somewhere. That has never changed then. A dic pick in 1 minute of adding your profile is not uncommon in these quarters

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lauraincolumbia

In general, I think dating sites are for hookups, regardless of target audience.  You really have to be explicit that you're not interested in a hookup, to filter out the 95% of guys that are only interested in hookups.

The other problem with dating sites is that the people actually looking for a relationship, tend to only want someone local.  

My thought would be to look at sites/forums with similar interests as yourself.  If you are really into birds, find an ornithology web-site, and get active on it.  

Good luck!

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Alex C

Hey M.B  I totally got what yr where say. Tammy ty. Laura excellent  idea but I have tried that and its a hall of desperation but  I will look into again..I just with out a GT for over 2months everything kinda of fall apart in my world and I am a bit lose and depress..However..i want to thank you ladies for at least reach out...means a lot.. much lv  

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TammyAnne

Hug(((Alex)))Hug.

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TammyAnne
On 10/10/2019 at 6:03 AM, Maid In Bedlam said:

 

 

I was under the impression Grinder was a site for the Gay Comunity. Not for Trans Persons.

 

 If your trans M to F thern you aspiring to be a Female With respect Not a gay man.  If you was a Gay guy looking for a quick one then thats the place i expect.

 

maybe its changed but i doubt it.

 

 

 

Yes i have alos heard this to from back somewhere. That has never changed then. A dic pick in 1 minute of adding your profile is not uncommon in these quarters

It was not a pleasant experience. But it was a good while back, and I had some gay friends who were trying to be helpful. I appreciated their willingness to help, but in the end they had no idea of who I am because I was still struggling to express myself and understand myself.

I was so taken aback by the brief experience it's hard to describe. I had messages from some scary guys on other continents. And all I really wanted was some friends, and maybe an intimate friend who understood me.

I just don't think that is to be found via online sites.

So I focus on being the best me I can be, and letting the artist inside express herself.

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Maid In Bedlam

Ever heard the phrase "More meat for the grinder"? thats all you are on there i imagine.

 

It is predominantly for gay men looking for a hook up. There was another site tvchix. I dont know if it still exists. Granted it wasnt as bad as Grinder however even if it was called that name. It was still just fetishes. Looking for a hook up.

 

Ill go back to what i said before. Your trans then you aspire to be female. Therefore a half decent site which doesnt cater for the quick fix brigade suits better. if you present or at least want to present as female. Like early in transition then thats what you put down. If Women are you preference then seek women. If it is man that click that box. But always be honest about what you are and what you expect. Granted the pool will be much smaller than for an  XX female but all the same you are going in with your heart on your sleeve and knowing your honest?

 

Just thinking out loud. here. maybe an actaul dating agency? At least they weed out the chaff from the gold. It may cost you some money. But isnt it a better option then touting yourself online?

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Alex C

thanks again girls. Way back I use Grinder for work when I was CD. So I am going to avoid Grinder. Tammy yr right on the money about the creeps. Hey B.M great idea about just filling in the box...I will try that..Ty Again for both of yr kindnes

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