Daphne Dorman

[Josie Beth]

She will be missed...

 

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2019/10/dave-chappelle-said-tested-jokes-trans-comedian-daphne-dorman-just-died/

[Josie Beth]

I just learned about it today because I’m subscribed to a friend of hers. It’s really hitting home because she was in my age group and also a late transitioner.

 

I wonder why. I know that might be impossible to figure out. Just knowing how she was as a person and how much she tried to make others laugh it is a shock. But many times we don’t know what is going on with people even if they seem happy. 

 

I can speculate, maybe she was in a downward spiral because she was not really finding companionship. Maybe she was frustrated because she wanted to bring happiness and not many people appreciated it. There’s so many potential reasons that she touched on in a joking way. I guess the takeaway is just to not be afraid to show someone what’s really going on inside. But even then it may not be enough? It’s difficult to confront myself with the same questions. 

[Josie Beth]

It’s sad because it’s someone who was a real person. Sure there was controversy about her and Dave chapelle but to his credit he bounced his jokes off of her before the controversy and she laughed at them the loudest so they pretty much blew it out of proportion. I think it says something about how Dave actually respected her input as a comedian. Maybe she was ostracized because she wasn’t playing into the politics? It certainly makes sense when her shows tended to be very small compared to other people. It goes to show how entertainment can literally be hard on the very people they claim to be supportive of. She was transgender but virtually blacklisted by the industry. Of course they didn’t openly boycott her shows but she didn’t have large audiences. There’s so many facets to people and making life an “either/or” political game is really damaging when everyone has faults or shortcomings. Comedy has suffered a lot because of political influence being so bloodthirsty lately, when it used to be all in good fun. 

 

Virtue signaling is the term you are looking for, when someone says something to gain points for sounding correct. That’s the sadly artificial world we live in. It takes guts to stand out and be different. Which is why all this talk about being inclusive to diversity is intellectually dishonest when the political drive is to make everyone fit into the same thinking cap. That’s not how people work. That’s not how we have intellectual debate or actually work through conversation with ideas. That’s basically the same dirty word that the political end of entertainment says they are opposed to: fascism. Instead of allowing people to be different they are using a huge industry to dictate government and politics. Miriam websters definition is: 

 

a centralized autocraticgovernment headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition. 

 

Only in this case the dictator is an ideal that is unrealistic. Just because it’s not declared officially doesn’t mean it’s not a driving force. Change comes from dialogue, not from any form of oppression. Maybe that’s a lesson here too. 

[Josie Beth]

I think that perhaps Daphne was an unintended victim of virtue signaling. It’s a wake up call. When a political ideology starts to negatively effect the very people it claims to champion and suffers self inflicted casualties, it’s time to re-evaluate. By any means necessary is never a good mantra. 

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, MaryMary said:

you Know what... I don’t like the internet

 

You're not wrong. Sometimes the internet really, really sucks. The combination of easy and anonymous really brings out the worst in some people. The ability to cocoon ourselves in a like-minded echo chamber isn't helping either. I don't know how to fix either problem besides trying to be the best version of myself I can.

 

I'm sad we lost a sister. I'm always sad when we lose a sister, but behind every funny person there is a deeply unhappy individual. I'm sorry she couldn't find what she needed to go on.

 

Hugs!

[Josie Beth]

It’s not just the internet. It bleeds over into real life all the time. Take for example the pejorative of “despicables” that was a long runner on the internet. Some deserved the label but some took it even further as a challenge to actually become despicable. And the internet only bolstered the behavior. It’s true that anonymity is conducive to bad behavior but if it was only the internet that encapsulated it, then it would probably not be as big of a problem. Jackie is right. There’s no easy answer and the only thing we can do is try to be our best. That’s not always easy. Especially when there’s real outrage and grief. 

 

Daphne was trying against all odds. Sometimes it’s just too much for one person to bear. She attempted to turn her frustration and sadness into something positive. I’m also sad that she couldn’t find anything to hold onto. It’s definitely causing me to think twice before I isolate.