Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Markjvp

Not so sure about me being transgender anymore

Recommended Posts

Markjvp

Hi again people on one I did before I asked if I was actually trans but now my question is what are something’s I can do to figure out (I’m biologically a boy but I don’t fully feel like one). Also right now my parents just reject the idea of me being transgender so there’s going to be ones that’s harder to do or I’ll need to be patient before being able to do them (because of me being 15 right now and so I live with my parents)

Share this post


Link to post
Jani

Hello Mark,

Questioning ourselves is quite the sport with us it seems.  As been written many times, cis-gender persons (generally) do not question their gender.  And that may be one clue for you.  As you are still young, you will find yourself questioning a lot of things in your life.  I know I did.  Try just to be you, who you are.  If it means being less masculine, or more feminine thats fine.  I remember that I wasn't sure who I was at your age but it all works out.  Don't stress about it.  Remember its all right be participate in activities that might be thought of as outside (your) gender norm.   Most importantly, study hard as this will prepare you for a future in which you can support yourself adequately in a manner you desire. 

 

Jani 

Share this post


Link to post
Charlize

Jani just gave you some great advice Mark.  I know i "wobbled" back and forth in my feelings about gender.  Fortunately i did concentrate on my studies.  Maybe that was more due to the times as in the 60's there was no acceptance at all.  I was afraid of being bullied and disowned by my parents.  

The issue kept coming back over time and eventually the time was right to be myself.  I guess i'm trying to say there is no rush.  Time goes much faster than i thought at 15.  Enjoy today!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Share this post


Link to post
TammyAnne

Hi Mark,

I too have questioned myself, even questioned my questioning. Take your time, sort through this until you find the answers that give you comfort.

In the end, we have to be true to ourselves in order to live our lives in peace and harmony.

Share this post


Link to post
NB Adult  (Inactive)

All good advice for you here Mark, it's what makes TransPulse an exceptional support site, there is never any group pressure pushing people into a direction that they may later regret. Take your time and enjoy being yourself in the little things that make you uniquely you.

Share this post


Link to post
ShawnaLeigh
1 hour ago, NB Adult said:

All good advice for you here Mark, it's what makes TransPulse an exceptional support site, there is never any group pressure pushing people into a direction that they may later regret. Take your time and enjoy being yourself in the little things that make you uniquely you.

This is spot on too.  I fully agree how helpful it is to just read other members posts and see you are not alone.  When you ask questions you get real answer and support not judgements and internet half turths.

Your are young and under a lot of trials and it is a hard time even without the transgender feelings.  

I am 52 and I am still trying to figure it out.  I've made mistakes and done things not healthy for myself out of desperation.  Like it was said above.  Take your time and do your research.  Coming here was one of the best things I have done.  I am on a path now and hope to find my own self.

Good Luck with yours!

Share this post


Link to post
Markjvp

Thank you for the support 🙂 and I’m kind of starting to feel like I’m actually gender fluid but for now till I’m old enough or till I get out of high school I’m not going to worry that much about my gender but I think I’m gender fluid or transgender

Share this post


Link to post
ShawnaLeigh

Markjvp

I find you incredibly brave to start yourself on this journey at such a young age.  I wish I had your bravery at that age.  I let fear rule me for quite a few decades and still under its crippling yolk.  When joining this forum I chose Genderfluid because I don't know for certain.  Even after all these years.

I'm hoping my therapist can help me figure this out

Once you can make your own legal decisions you may find a lot of resources out there that can help too.  At least for now continue in this forum.

Its a wonderful place.

Share this post


Link to post
NB Adult  (Inactive)

Fear is a destroyer of our dreams!

Share this post


Link to post
ShawnaLeigh
44 minutes ago, NB Adult said:

Fear is a destroyer of our dreams!

Truth!

Share this post


Link to post
Markjvp

Nivegnal thank you I wasn’t this open or brave when I was grade 3 to about grade 7 because of bullies but thanks to multiple things including the people here at transpulse I’m getting more and more opens and brave on things I wasn’t brave at before

Share this post


Link to post
ShawnaLeigh

Grade 3 to grade 7!!   Wow I didn't know anything back then.  My first awareness was around 12 or 13 years old, I don't recall exactly.  Just remember being taken to a "regular" doctor and my mother being told it was just a phase I would grow out of.

I say brave because you are seeking answers and finding them.  I understand bullies too.  In my day and age there was zero tolerance for people like us.  You were "normal" or you hid it with everything you were and more.  Confess nothing and admit less.  Play your part or else.

Its nice things are not like that now a days.

Take care and keep reading.  Knowledge is power.

Share this post


Link to post
TammyAnne
5 hours ago, Nivegnal said:

I say brave because you are seeking answers and finding them.  I understand bullies too.  In my day and age there was zero tolerance for people like us.  You were "normal" or you hid it with everything you were and more.  Confess nothing and admit less.  Play your part or else.

Its nice things are not like that now a days.

Take care and keep reading.  Knowledge is power.

I'm also glad we as a society seem to have moved past a dark period. Bullying haunted me through high school and into college.

Keep searching for yourself, don't be too concerned with tacking on a label. Being your authentic self is all that you need to do.

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   5 Members, 1 Anonymous, 205 Guests (See full list)

    • Cyndee
    • Charlize
    • secondlook
    • DeeDee
    • MaryEllen
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      69,766
    • Total Posts
      630,586
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      6,117
    • Most Online
      8,356

    NothingFails
    Newest Member
    NothingFails
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. claire1000
      claire1000
      (69 years old)
    2. nikrs
      nikrs
  • Posts

    • Charlize
      Welcome dear.   I'm glad you have joined us here.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Charlize
      Thank you for sharing about your life Kathy Lauren.  So many parts of your story mirror my own.  Perhaps the biggest difference is that  after staying back in the 3rd grade i was no longer the smallest kid so i avoided being the target of bullies. This journey to self acceptance was  hard but so worthwhile for me as well.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • ShawnaLeigh
      I give it 👍👍
    • Timber Wolf
      Good morning everyone, 🐁   Happy Birthday nikrs!🎂 Happy Birthday claire1000!🎂 Hope you have a great day!   Lots of love,  Timber Wolf 🐾
    • Jackie C.
      Yeah, that happens to FtM's, but once you've grown out your voice box, that's it. Fortunately, resonance is more important than pitch (see Cher) and you can train yourself to speak with both a higher pitch and feminine resonance. It's hard work, but it totally pays off. Well worth every second I spent doing it.   Alternately, voice surgery is a thing but it only helps with pitch. You still need to train to speak from the right part of your throat.     I get that too. I'm 5'11". My new favorite person at the gym is this lovely woman who is taller than me. I just like standing next to her. But hey, remember that there's a 7' cis-female model out there. Tall girls can be pretty too. It's harder to find clothes, but we can be pretty.   I'm not sure about being alone. Alone time is important, but being around friends can be very affirming. Especially if they know, and use your correct name/pronouns. Or even if they don't know and use the correct name and pronouns. Being around people who know and that you trust is incredibly affirming for me.     I took that approach too. It was scary... so, so scary... but I did it, and it worked out for the best. @Susan R is right though, therapists have seen, heard (and/or done) everything. You can't shock them. I think it's more likely that she'll be happy to finally get through that last bit of armor and get to meet the real you. OK, my therapist described it more as storming a castle. After two years she's past the moat... and I came to her as trans... but I prefer an armor metaphor. To me, coming out felt more like dropping heavy armor I'd been wearing to protect me from the world.   Seriously though. Deep breath and talk to your therapist. She's there to help and she can't help you if you keep things from her. Open and honest communication about what's bothering you is always the best way for the two of you to interact.   Hugs!
    • Jackie C.
      That sounds like fun! The first place my spouse and I went together was the beach... well, technically it was the garage, but that was a "two friends" thing and where I asked her out. I think he'd really enjoy it, especially since he dropped hints. Also, he constantly wants to hold your hand. In my experience, that's not what you get from a guy who isn't in to you.   The two of you sound so cute together! I hope everything works out just how you hope!   Hugs!
    • Jackie C.
      Ugh. That should have been a huge red flag. Who DOES that? Those were private. We do not snoop through our partner's private things without permission. I'm so very sorry you had to endure that breach of trust @TammyAnne.     I love voice training! Resonance is more important than pitch though. Testosterone will help you with pitch, resonance is more about speaking low through your chest. Girls speak more from the upper middle parts of their throat and project through their mask (face). Guys talk out of the lower part of their throat and resonate in their chests. Well worth every second I put into it.   Hugs!
    • Jackie C.
      I completely get this. I've got a pretty androgynous face too. I look like a cross between my paternal grandmother and my maternal grandfather. Dimples. Megawatt smile. I have an entirely different area I'm not comfortable with, but I get it. That part is just "wrong" or "other." I would trade you in a heartbeat. 😅   I was "enjoying" a breakdown about it just yesterday. Although I don't think about it so much on the HRT. Mostly because everything goes "quiet" down there. It makes it much easier to ignore. I'm sorry you don't have that option without surgery.   Same thing growing up, (well, no skirts) until grade school in the 70's dropped the, "boys don't play with girls" hammer on me and I started trying to pretend so I would fit in. I'm a gamer though, so I still fight dragons.   Hugs!
    • Tristantulaine
      I totally get it! I have an hour glass figure and so many of my MtF friends joke they would snag my hips and or a cup size or two if I didnt want them.  I laughed about it while secretly wishing they really could because that would make us both so happy.  Top surgery while I have friends wearing padding feels unfair.  
    • ShawnaLeigh
      This is truly an awful thing for someone to do.  I’m so sorry you had to go threw that.  😢   I have wanted to do this all my life but something always holds me back from doing it. Perhaps my ingrained sense of need to hide everything about the person I was inside was so strong that I just couldn’t “confess” this even in written words.   Then there was the ever present fear of having someone read it, or worse, like what happened to TammyAnne.  I honestly do not know how much of a negative impact that would of had on me.   These days I’m out.  Not to the world but to most everyone I care about so these fears don’t control me any longer.   Why do I still resist?
    • Belle
      That is so awful @TammyAnne... I'm so sorry you have gone through such trauma. I hope one day you will be able to heal enough to stay a journal again.   Belle ❤😥
    • Belle
      Like DeeDee I blog about mine. It's not necessarily a journal but it's an outlet to express my journey in words.   https://medium.com/@qtcbelle   Belle ❤
    • Carolyn Marie
      "Meanwhile, my regular male life carried on.  I eventually met and married my wife.  Of course, the women's clothes had to go.  I was "fixed", and whatever was "wrong" with me was gone.  (or so I thought, hopefully.)  However, the urge to dress remained very strong, and gradually got stronger."   Yes, this sounds a lot like me; always hoping something would "cure" me.  If it wasn't falling in love and getting married, it was growing a mustache and doing something macho and dangerous.  But it never worked, and didn't for you, either.  We have all come to realize that being trans can't be cured, but there is a sure fire way of beating the dysphoria, and its name was transition!   Thanks for taking the time to tell us about yourself, KathyLauren.  I know that it can be a difficult thing to do.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      As someone who took insulin shots for 20 years, I have some familiarity with the problem.  The "good spot-bad spot" theory is pretty "spot" on 😜.  There are thousands of nerve endings in all your extremities, and hitting one by accident is fairly easy to do.  On top of that, hitting a capillary or blood vessel can also be painful.  I'm not entirely sure how to guarantee it won't happen (if that's even possible), but your best best is to talk with a nurse about it.  He or she should be able to give you some tips.  I would also suggest marking (with a marker pen or piece of tape) the spots that gave you pain so you can try and avoid them the next time.   Carolyn Marie
    • MetaLicious
      That's where my fantasy takes me.  I'd love to keep "my" body, but just with XX chromosomes, and an appropriate puberty.   When I find my jealous of some ot the women in media, I have to remind myself that 99% of ciswomen are jealous of those women for the same reason!
  • Upcoming Events

×
×
  • Create New...